lotus carroll photography, poetry, life

August 19, 2019

to grow freely. like the flowers.

it is ok
to let go of anger
to quietly forgive those 
who hurt you in the past
this is a gift -
for you. not for them.
to step out of resentment
to release yourself
from the shackles
of disappointment 
to be alive inside your skin,
again.
to grow freely. like the flowers.
rising up to the sunlight
stretching out tall
feeling hope flood in.
remembering what it feels like
to move smoothly,
exist in the world
without the burden
of pain riding your shoulders
to be weightless. in the best way.
go on. fly free.
it is ok.


©lotuscarroll2013
Image & Text All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For image licensing inquiries, email me directly. thelotuscarroll@gmail.com

August 9, 2019

lies and smiles

…What have I eaten?
Lies and smiles.
Surely the sky is not that color,
Surely the grass should be rippling.

All day, gluing my church of burnt matchsticks,
I dream of someone else entirely.
And he, for this subversion,
Hurts me, he
With his armor of fakery,

His high cold masks of amnesia.
How did I get here?
Indeterminate criminal,
I die with variety—
Hung, starved, burned, hooked.

I imagine him
Impotent as distant thunder,
In whose shadow I have eaten my ghost ration.
I wish him dead or away.
That, it seems, is the impossibility.

That being free. What would the dark
Do without fevers to eat?
What would the light
Do without eyes to knife, what would he
Do, do, do without me?

~sylvia plath, excerpt from “the jailer”

©lotuscarroll2019
Image All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. thelotuscarroll@gmail.com

August 4, 2019

bleeding heart

a heart that does not bleed
is not stronger than one that does -
it is simply dead already.



©lotuscarroll2019
Image All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For licensing inquiries, email me directly. thelotuscarroll@gmail.com

for self portrait sunday, theme: identity

July 10, 2019

two times

Filed under: Poetry,Sunset — Tags: , , — Lotus Carroll @ 9:30 AM

i’m well aware
that you’ve moved on
and i want you to know
i have too.
now my days are
filled with things
(like getting over you)
my lonely nights
are filled with things
(like forgetting
your touch)
so obviously,
you realize
i don’t miss you
that much
i only think of you
two times
in each and every day
(the time before
i go to sleep
and after i awake)

©lotuscarroll2015  
Image All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license.
For licensing inquiries, email me directly. thelotuscarroll @ gmail.com

July 7, 2019

freedom

you’re a grand old flag

you’re a high-flying flag

and forever in peace may you wave

you’re the emblem of

the land I love

the home of the free and the brave…

~George M. Cohan

©lotuscarroll2019

…and I ain’t no communist,

and I ain’t no socialist,

and I ain’t no capitalist,

and I ain’t no imperialist,

and I ain’t no democrat,

sure ain’t no republican either,

i only know one party,

and that is Freedom.


~Steven Van Zandt (performed by Pearl Jam)

©lotuscarroll2019

I love America more than any other country in the world and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.

~James Baldwin

©lotuscarroll2019

You can love your country, and you can love its people, and simultaneously expect more of the government and your fellow citizens.

These are my favorite images from this past week.

xo

April 8, 2019

snowflakes

Filed under: Fine Art,Photoblog,Poetry,Self Portraiture — Tags: , , — Lotus Carroll @ 9:00 AM

what if we all defaulted
to treating one another
like snowflakes, truly:
delicate, beautiful, unique
things of wonder
that reflect light onto one another
what if it was not
a point of shame, an insult,
to be soft and delicate,
to melt in the presence of warmth –
like the bleeding hearts in our chests –
what if we glisten so brightly
that we wear down one another’s
hardest edges, break through the ice,
and all that is left is
an infinite swirling mass
made of prismatic pieces of love,
little geometric wonders,
floating and bouncing
off one another, endlessly,
in all our vulnerable glory?

©2018 Lotus CarrollAll Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license.

February 14, 2019

love yourself

Filed under: Black And White,Photography,Poetry,Self,Self Portraiture — Tags: , , , , — Lotus Carroll @ 8:00 AM

your skin
is beautiful
all your marks
and colors
those scars and wrinkles
every bump
line and curve
is a wonder
to be loved
discovered
cherished
held and remembered
your skin
is beautiful
not because
of any standard
you meet or not
or anything you
do to it (or don’t)
but simply because
it is a part of you.

©2018 Lotus Carroll

February 4, 2019

freedom

Filed under: Before/After,BTS,Photoblog,Photography,Self Portrait Sunday,Self Portraiture — Tags: , — Lotus Carroll @ 1:39 PM

self portrait sunday, february 3rd, theme: freedom

they say you’re supposed to set the person inside of you free… am i doing this right?

©2019 Lotus Carroll

This one was fun to create and didn’t occur to me until after I had pondered several other ideas. It was fairly simple to setup and capture (aside from that wig not wanting to stay where I put it).

Since I don’t actually have a person hiding inside me, I composited an extra hand into the image of me holding my mouth open. It probably would have been more interesting if it were someone else’s hand, now that I think of it, but I just used one of my own.

before image 1, sooc
©2019 Lotus Carroll?
before image 2, sooc
©2019 Lotus Carroll
initial photoshop edit
©2019 Lotus Carroll?
final image
after photoshop, lightroom, and analog efex pro2
©2019 Lotus Carroll
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