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25 comments


  • I am so, sorry. I cannot imagine. I do know a little about processing though, and it sounds like you are doing a good job:) leave it there as long as you want. Even if that means forever. It’s something tangible that you can associate with your loss. Thinking of you.

    December 09, 2009
  • This breaks my heart. I did remember that that date was coming, and I knew that you were going to talk about it, and I love you for sharing your sorrow with us. Still, it’s really hard to read. I just can’t imagine the pain and the sadness.

    I will send you yet another hug. Since I’m in Tenessee until tomorrow, maybe this one makes it all the way there! :-)

    Oh, and you will be ready. Soon. Because in the end, good things do happen to good people.
    .-= Gabriel´s last blog ..WW#116 – Our first ‘real’ Christmas tree =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • Gabriel can’t spell “Tennessee”… :0(

    December 09, 2009
  • I was just thinking it was about a year for you. I’m so sorry. It’s been a tough one. I don’t think it’s unhealthy. It’s like the sharp edges of grief – they stay sharp until they’re not as sharp anymore. The crib stays until you’re ready for it to go, and no one but you can tell when that is.
    .-= Lunasea´s last blog ..Adopt a Family for the Holidays – Across the World =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • I think that it’s exactly where it needs to be until you are ready for it to be somewhere else. And whenever that is, will be the exact right time. You’re doing well.
    Love you,
    ~A

    December 09, 2009
  • All the love in the world. You move the damn furniture whenever you feel like it – until then, feel whatever you need to. xo
    .-= Zoeyjane´s last blog ..On where I’d be shopping, if I had any money left for Christmas =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • It takes a long time, Lotus. You’ll just sail along and then BOOM! – It jumps out and bites you. It will get better. I know. Tomorrow it’s 29 years. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. And I still carry her picture in my wallet. But it does get easier.
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Statue From Bark =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • Hugs. It seems like grief is all I’ve written about on my blog for the past two years. What seems like a long time to others….two years…..it’s just a reminder of how short a time ago I had her here with me.

    There’s no quota for you to fill on grief. Don’t let anybody, including yourself, tell you otherwise.

    Again, hugs. Because I know sometimes, words don’t do a bit of good.

    December 09, 2009
  • Eve

    I don’t have a crib for the babies that were never born. But I do recognize the need. I have reminders of Hubs all over the house. His wrist watch sits on the table next to my printer and chimes every day about 1:30. I would not and will not change that. We do what we have to do to live through our sorrows. Maybe the crib will be there when you have grandchildren who need a place to sleep at grandma’s house. So what? {{{{{Lotus}}}}}
    .-= Eve´s last blog ..Christmas Cards =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • I don’t think it means you are broken. you have to do what you think is right. Hugs.
    .-= Secret Mom Thoughts´s last blog ..Wordless and Wardrobe Wednesday =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • Kara

    Thinking of you today…it does not mean your broken just that you need more time.

    December 09, 2009
  • Your decision, your need, your timeline. Only you know when your wait is done.
    .-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday ~ silver =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • Hugs.
    .-= Missives From Suburbia´s last blog ..I’m Doing Your Holiday Shopping for You! (Hint: FREE STUFF) =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • Cuddles to you…
    .-= Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)´s last blog ..It’s my Toby-versary =-.

    December 09, 2009
  • I’m so very sorry for your loss. I also lost a “never born” baby in 2003. To this day, I still grieve at times. I still wonder “what if”. My pain has lessened over the years. But it never has (or will) completely go away. You aren’t broken. You are a grieving mother. (((((HUGS))))
    .-= Missy´s last blog ..Trials, Tribulations, and Test-Taking =-.

    December 10, 2009
  • Ours is in the basement. Sitting and waiting. I can’t get rid of it. Even though it probably won’t be back upstairs again.

    Wishing all good things for you…hang in there. It’s hard, I know.
    .-= Life As I Know It´s last blog ..Redemption =-.

    December 10, 2009
  • Thank you, everyone. I don’t focus on the pain the majority of the time anymore, but rather am turning to the joy in my life more appreciatively, and am hopefully making the most of that. I have a lot to be thankful for, and life is, on the whole, good.

    I’d have loved that baby no matter how long he’d lived or what his condition was. While I’m not saying it would have been easy if he’d lived longer (he had Trisomy 13) it is impossible for me to just cease wishing he *had* lived.

    I really appreciate you all validating that it’s not unhealthy for me to want to keep the crib around for awhile, and that grief has no timetable – things I inherently knew, but which is it is really good to have some agreement on.

    Thanks, again.

    December 10, 2009
  • I don’t know what to say, but I want to say something. Mostly I just want to give you a giant hug. I don’t think you’re broken, or wrong, or not normal. I think you’re trying to heal. You’ll know when you’re ready. And then, and until then, we’ll be here to listen.

    December 10, 2009
  • babe, it has been over 12 years since my last one and it still hurts. But not as strikingly, just an ache.

    So I totally understand and wish I could give you a big cuddle.

    December 10, 2009
  • Been thinking of you in this leadup to Christmas.
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..The state of the Midland Highway =-.

    December 10, 2009
  • I’ve read you for the past year, I have not left a message because I’ve always felt guilty, I found you because we were both pregnant at about the same time.
    My Son was born June 25th.
    The day you posted about the miscarriage I sat at work and cried for you, and rubbed my belly fearing the same for myself.
    I’m so sorry for what happend. Really. A the time you were my Pregnancy buddy that didn’t know I was alive, but I loved reading you, afer that, I just grew to appreciate what I had so much more.
    Hi, My name is Lori and I want to give you a hug.
    L.

    December 11, 2009
  • You are so strong and amazing!

    I am with Lori, I have always felt guilty too since we were pregnant at the same time.

    One of my husbands coworkers just went though the same thing as you… She was 7 months along. My heart breaks for you.
    .-= talina´s last blog ..Holdiay shopping and relections on my most surprising gift ever… =-.

    December 11, 2009
  • I love you. Lots.

    *hugs*
    .-= sam {temptingmama}´s last blog ..Every year I say it will be better =-.

    December 21, 2009
  • Love to you, sweet girl.
    .-= Maggie, dammit´s last blog ..Hope =-.

    December 21, 2009
  • Big hugs, sweetheart.
    xoxo

    December 22, 2009

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