Because I NEVER scream.

Every day when I look at my son, I see how much he is like his Momma… such as how he is so smart, funny, sweet, and cute.  Surely it is not really in the way that he is painfully moody, impatient, and always finds a unique way to be a total, obnoxious pain in the ass.

I am NEVER obnoxious.  (Have you voted for me yet?)

I am certainly NOT a pain in the ass. (Have you voted for me yet???)

My site was nominated for Best Photography Blog! My site was nominated for Best Photography Blog! My site was nominated for Best Photography Blog!
So, when Braden developed his latest habit, I decided this must surely be something that he inherited from John.

But, um, you know… John never SCREAMS LIKE A BANSHEE.

That’s right.  Apparently, it is ALL the rage to just shriek your GUTS out randomly throughout the day.  And if you are even slighty displeased with anything ocurring ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, then please, please let out the highest pitched, railing scream you can possibly force your lungs and larynx to emit.  This is, according to Braden (the authority on these things, I’m sure), the Hip and With It thing to do.

In fact, if glass doesn’t break in the next state?

You.Aren’t.Doing.It.Right.

And far be it for me to say that this is ANNOYING THE SNOT OUT OF US, but… well, I have recently been wondering… just how long can you leave duct tape on a one year old child’s mouth and face before it damages the skin?

  • The food takes too long to prepare.

 ”Eye-eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

  • The book he’s pushing across the floor doesn’t magically transport him to Disney World.

“ScreeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

  • Water continues to be H2O.

 ”AAAAHHH-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!”

It’s very difficult to get through even 30 minutes without something happening that causes him to shriek like we are cutting off a toe.  You know, like taking off his clothes, or changing his diaper. 

This is a tiny sample of The Shriek.  It really isn’t his full-on best, or longest sustaining quality… but HEY, he was TIRED, okay?

 

And, really, it just can’t keep going on like this, because, people, I think I might rip my own son’s head off.

So, yesterday (in lieu of grabbing Braden’s face between my hands and screaming, “OH, WHY, SON WHY!?”), I did what any sane person would do.  I sat my Toddler down and said to him,

“Look, Braden.  Mommy is not always, how shall I say this? Good at coping with stressful situations? So, I can certainly understand that sometimes you get frustrated, and you don’t know what to do with all your feelings.  But, really, Son, screaming is not the way to work out your problems.  The next time you feel really upset and tense, and you’re not sure what to do with your frustrations, just do what Mommy does.”

And then I told him what to do.

And now, it’s only a matter of time before he kicks the dog or makes a somewhat sarcastic and snide remark to John.

59 comments


  • Jenty

    Rather you than me! Connor has started getting a bad temper when he doesn’t get his way, so I’m sure I’m in for something similar.

    Jenty’s last blog post..Real life encounters
    Twitter:

    January 7, 2008
  • Amy has just left that stage behind. *wipes brow* It was horrid while it lasted, but I continued to ignore it (and her until she stopped) which was very hard, but now it doesn’t get a reaction and so it is BORING and SO OLD.

    Veronica’s last blog post..The Reason That Bloggers Make Bad Mothers

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh dear, screaming is the pits. I hope the dog moves fast.
    My boys shriek and scream but also for sheer fun … and they try to out do each other grinning

    Babyamore (Trish)’s last blog post..Weekly Winners

    January 7, 2008
  • Hehehehehe When Veronica was a toddler we spent a weekend with a ‘SCREAMER’ , when we went to visit my mum Veronica pointed to something she wanted and SCREAMED for it EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

    Mum said, ” You ask for things! You don’t scream” Veronica pointed too whatever it was she wanted and screamed, ” Ask Ask Ask Ask Ask” hehehe least it was better than EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    cheers kim..xoxoxox

    kim’s last blog post..Weekly winners #6

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh! Yes, I did vote for you, I just forgot to mention it here. Ugh, sorry about the screaming. I hope it passes quickly.

    alala’s last blog post..last night

    January 7, 2008
  • Ooh, you poor thing. I remember those days.

    On the bright side, it will go away. BUT if it doesn’t, there are several careers he could be really good at:

    1. The guy who yells “Gooooooooal!” at soccer games
    2. A train conductor
    3. A cheerleader

    It’s never too soon to start planning, after all…

    Melisa’s last blog post..You’ve Heard of Mom & Baby Workouts…

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh, I hate the screaming! Rest assured, Braden is very normal. All of my kids have had a screaming stage. Thankfully, the more kids you have, the more you become immune to the screaming. Or maybe I’ve just lost 60% of my hearing.

    Jenni’s last blog post..Do You Haiku?

    January 7, 2008
  • ohhh i think Zack must have been giving tips… he now screams on a regular basis when he doesn’t get his own way, when he does get his own way – it seems to be his favourite sound :O

    for us ignoring it only seems to make it go even louder *sigh*

    Marylin’s last blog post..Story of a night feed.

    January 7, 2008
  • I’m not a mommy… so is that the reason why I think that scream on your YouTube video is cute? hee hee.

    Anitra’s last blog post..The Difference Between Kentucky and New York

    January 7, 2008
  • Yes, we have video of Son doing this very shriek over wanting some more yogurt. Daddy’s yogurt. The coffee creme brulee flavor. At about a year old. If it’s any consolation, this phase does pass. If that’s no help, perhaps knowing that at this age they don’t understand everything you say, just the tone you use might help. So, for example, you can tell him off in a very calm and pleasant voice, and it’s not like he’ll start dropping f-bombs at the next party. Or even know what you just said. Or there’s always my solution: “Sweetie [to Husband], I’m going to get my haircut [in the next county]. The kids are yours till I get back.”

    MommyTime’s last blog post..Birthday Party Excess

    January 7, 2008
  • lmfao oh yes the banshee wail…..and you know it totally worked for adam sandler i thought if i just mashed the mute button he would like some miricle become quiet but oh no…now i have a broken friggan mute button and a raging head ache at 9:30 am and that the real world in fact is nothing like the movies.
    i am of course heart broken at this revelation.
    that does nothing to quite the banshee wail.
    all i can say is
    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD………

    January 7, 2008
  • oh and after registering under every email i dont use i still havent gotten a friggan confirmation email…
    wtf…..

    January 7, 2008
  • I’m right there with you. At the age of 1 K did that ALL the time!!! Drove me right up the wall into the funny farm. For her it wasn’t just being upset…she did it being happy, too.

    Now she’s 18 months. She still does the shriek on occassion. But in it’s place. The tantrum. Throwing herself onto the floor. Intentionally banging her head into walls. Yeah. Joy.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you for survival of your ear drums and sanity

    :P

    Sadie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
    Twitter:

    January 7, 2008
  • You know, it’s been a lllooooonnnnggg time since I’ve heard that particular vocalization within the four walls of my home. I played it once. It was like we had kids all over again. I felt momentarily nostalgic. I played it again. The nostalgia disappeared as quickly as it arose and I realized the veracity of the old saw – “Time heals all wounds”.

    Thank you. It was fun. Don’t do that again.

    Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Monday morning, take 2, I’m a man, not a woman…
    Twitter:

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh, I remember the ear piercing, blood curdling screams well. Don’t worry, they get over it soon enough. If only the duct tape thing would really work until then, it would make life much more lovely.
    We got past it and then went and had another one, so soon enough we’ll be back at that stage again. Did I REALLY say I want three?!

    AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..It’s Been a Big, Stupendous, Awesome Day

    January 7, 2008
  • pss. thanks for the advice its now up and running…somewhat….okay so i just smacked up a templet and posted something old but still….
    success! *mad arm pumping* you rock mah socks..
    thanks!

    Noahs Mom’s last blog post..oh my friggan god could it be any earlier?

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh, I’m so sorry, Lotus. I know your pain well. Cameron, our youngest, developed that habit and still let ‘er rip on occasion. He’ll be four in April. :-(

    Gordo’s last blog post..New Terminator series

    January 7, 2008
  • 2shews

    OMG. I have so, so, been there. Although Braden is FAR exceeding the decibels of my own offspring, I totally get it.

    2shews’s last blog post..They Shake Me

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh that just sounds awful! Hopefully he grows out of this stage soon and on to a better (quieter) one!

    Brittany’s last blog post..101 Things about me!

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh I voted for you!

    Brittany’s last blog post..101 Things about me!

    January 7, 2008
  • I was hoping for a longer version. I haven’t heard a sound like that since the last time I went to Wal-Mart. :D

    Junebug’s last blog post..Fun Monday

    January 7, 2008
  • It could be worse,at my house if one of the kids screams or cries, so does our dog. At first it was cute but 8 eight years and 4 kids later, the cuteness has worn off.

    jennifer’s last blog post..I Am In The Paper

    January 7, 2008
  • They still won’t let me vote for you! Any minute now I will scream too! Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaam!

    Jientje’s last blog post..I love Lucy! … And I loved your comments!

    January 7, 2008
  • I have ONE screamer and a deep fear that someday, someone will hear her expressing herself and call the police.

    Beck’s last blog post..And what DID I make for dessert last night?

    January 7, 2008
  • Welcome to my world! Ariel (22 mo.) does this all day long, and she has for months. I was at my cousin’s house the other day and one of our kids started wailing from the other room. She said, “Is that yours? – No! Yours is more high-pitched and ear-piercing.” Truer words were never spoken.

    Then she took my 4month old to the doctor for me., She came back and the first thing she said was, “No wonder you’re on anti-depressants!” Apparently she had been screaming so loudly that my cousin and the doctor had to communicate with gestures. And she screams like this every time she’s out of my arms for more than 10 minutes, or in someone else’s arms/her crib for more than 2.

    Not that I’m complaining.

    Makeshift Mama’s last blog post..I Am a Cast Iron Failure

    January 7, 2008
  • Thing is, at that age, every reaction they get shows they have power. Not reacting, even though your ears may be bleeding, is about the only way to move on.
    I’m sorry to have to tell you this. You deserve to be able to growl at him, but he would think it was fun.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Working With the Police – Conclusion

    January 7, 2008
  • Hugs. Despite my crochet group co-owner (yes, the crochet group is my life, and about the only adult female contact I KNOW I can get every day) letting out a little yell when P turned off the light in her kitchen, P’s not started that up. He hasn’t really had that stage yet, and he’s 2 1/2. I don’t remember D going through it either. Must go check on what he’s doing in the kitchen, and get him down for a nap (and check out why he said “ut oh” in the living room—at least I didn’t hear glass breaking when he knocked down the family pictures on my bookcase, cause I know he knocked ‘em down!).

    Good luck! :-)

    Allison (aka AngelGal)’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #3 – First in 5 Years!

    January 7, 2008
  • I did it!!! The vote has finally been accepted!

    Jientje’s last blog post..I love Lucy! … And I loved your comments!

    January 7, 2008
  • Maybe you could take this opportunity to scream along with him and let out some of your own frustrations. You might actually startle him into quitting.

    I’m joking….you really do need to ignore it. But the SECOND that he stops, pay some really over-the-top attention to him.

    Tasina’s last blog post..Brilliant

    January 7, 2008
  • Let me just hide behind this chair quick (in case you throw something at me) and say that the video was cute! I can see that getting old fast though. Screamers kind of make me want to kick them in the head. Know what Colin does? Instead of screaming, he does a flippin’ belly-flop onto the ground, kicks and does his best & loudest whine/fake cry. I’ll try to get a video. Its SO annoying, especially in the mall or the supermarket, you know? He did it yesterday in the driveway, in the rain, and then was all mad at me that his clothes were wet. Ha! It has never gotten him what he wanted, but he’s still hopeful, apparently. He’s been doing it for about 8 months now, at least twice a day. I step over him, roll my eyes, and plan how I’m going to get my revenge by embarrasing him in front of his friends when he’s 17.

    Kat’s last blog post..The Phantom Tollbooth

    January 7, 2008
  • Wait – Tasina had a good idea. A few times (at home) I’ve layed down on the floor next to him and had my own tantrum. Only works when I really mean it – when I’m frustrated too. He looks at me like I’m crazy and stops. Give it a shot. Bet you can scream louder that Braden!

    Kat’s last blog post..The Phantom Tollbooth

    January 7, 2008
  • According to Little J, Braden is behind the times. It is the scream followed by the hysterical crying that is all the rage. the crying that doesn’t stop even when it has been agreed that he can have what ever the crying is about. Pass the Duct Tape when you are done.

    Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..The bugger police

    January 7, 2008
  • A shrieker is the pits! I’d have to stay intoxicated. (but only because I need an excuse)

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler

    January 7, 2008
  • Believe me, I *get* the shrieking. We are never inconspicuous in public because of Fly. I once blogged that whales beach themselves when he screams.

    Damselfly’s last blog post..Symptom of motherhood

    January 7, 2008
  • Penelope Anne

    You beg, I beg…we all beg together :)

    I need to update my blogroll now silly!

    Okay, I am begging my pals for a bit of help today and this week. I entered a poetry contest, part of my writing goal, and am asking you pop here: http://wannabeawritersomeday.blogspot.com/2008/01/i-am-entering-poetry-contest-yikes-and.html and if you like what you read, think about following the link at the end of the post and voting for me.
    Thanks a bunch.
    Your pal, Penelope

    Penelope Anne’s last blog post..Monday and the Madness Still Ensues

    January 7, 2008
  • When my nephew was about that age, he would scream as if he were being tortured. It scared us. Hang in there. Soon he will be able to talk and tell you what he wants.

    Nina’s last blog post..Roy and Nina

    January 7, 2008
  • HA! My sons were like that when they were tiny. Now it’s my daughters non-stop chatter that keeps me at the brink of insanity’s door. Honestly, that child does. not. stop. talking! I wish you well with the Screamer! :D

    MissFrenchJessica’s last blog post..Ah, To Be Four Again…

    January 7, 2008
  • You’re hilarious woman!!!

    Aidan does the same thing, except his is more of a joyous scream/growl/shriek. Then he coughs a lung up because he did it too much.

    Then that’s what he gets for his next meal: baby lung.

    A Jill of All Trades’s last blog post..Baby bragging

    January 7, 2008
  • Stephaine

    Hmmm….you mean your NOT suppose to do that when you don’t like something?

    Uh Oh….no wonder why my husband looks at me like that!

    January 7, 2008
  • OMG what has happened? People have gone into commenting overload on your blog!!!!

    Anyway,
    Noah went through that high pitched squeal too. Sounded like a pig squeal. It was deafening.
    Commiserations to you, hope it doesn’t last long.

    Tiffany’s last blog post..Shameless cranky.

    January 7, 2008
  • I’m sorry to tell you this, but Braden is an amateur. Any one of my grandchildren could have out-screamed him (and did) by the time they were two months old. There are four of them (3-10). They all scream. Unfortunately the 10-yr-old is outgrowing the screaming. She has learned that it is much more satisfying to loudly proclaim that she should have been an only child, she hates me (her mother, siblings, etc.), she is not staying in this house one minute past the time she has no choice, and she is running away to New Jersey as soon as the weather gets a bit warmer. Some days I’d like to buy her a ticket and drive her to the airport. lol

    Eve’s last blog post..Sunday, Sweet Sunday

    January 7, 2008
  • Amanda

    I’m signing up to vote for your award at this very moment!

    Neilen did the screaming thing, too. He also did the “hold your breath until you turn blue” thing. He still does them both, sometimes.

    I don’t know how these kids learn so quickly how to torment their mothers, but they do.

    January 7, 2008
  • That would drive me nuts, but because he isn’t mine – I thought it was adorable. *lol* it’s always cute when it’s someone elses’. :)

    Maria’s last blog post..Bittersweet.

    January 7, 2008
  • First.. I voted for you!!
    Second, thankfully my oldest grew out of this stage pretty fast only to pick up more annoyng habits.. it never ends. but each stage they “say” is endearing.

    Kim’s last blog post..I need a time out..

    January 7, 2008
  • At 6 & 9, my kids have snide down pat; I’ll take it over a scream any day.

    January 7, 2008
  • Tanya

    ahhh screaming. Everytime I hear a scream my blood runs cold. I cant actually stand screaming. If I were you I would have either started crying or had a heart attack on the floor. I have no idea how I’m going to cope when I have my own screaming bundle of joy.

    Tanya’s last blog post..My Place

    January 7, 2008
  • Oh – and I could have sworn I voted for you yesterday, but I guess I didn’t. Done now though – I double checked!

    January 7, 2008
  • My almost 4 year old does that. Of course, it is usually big brother induced, but still makes me want to put MY head through a wall.

    Robinella’s last blog post..FUN MONDAY

    January 7, 2008
  • Yeah. This phase is SOOO much fun. (not.) But get this…add in a 6 year old son who encourages the screaming! He will shreik like a banshee when the baby does. They feed off each other. I think I’ve lost 80% of the hearing in my right ear already.

    Becky’s last blog post..New Monday Photo Shoot #2

    January 7, 2008
  • I suppose this is one case where misery does NOT love company: my 8 y/o STILL does that shit, and is partly why she is named Prima Donna Daughter on my blog.

    Not fun.

    At least she doesn’t do it in public anymore. That was rather short-lived, THANK GOD. Now, she saves her best work for me at home, usually, “I HHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTEEEEE YYYYOOOUUUU!!!”

    I usually respond, “Yeah? Well, I LOVE you, for reasons I don’t fully comprehend. Get over yourself. I have,” and go on about my business.

    Just think…she’s not even a teenager yet…

    SuzanneSays…’s last blog post..PhotoHunt: Delicious

    January 7, 2008
  • Just cruisin’ by after a week of neglect! I just went and voted for you. Thanks for the entertainment, just caught up on the last 5 posts – Kevin & Leroy?? You seriously crack me up.

    Good luck on the bloggers choice awards.

    Angie’s last blog post..Missing in Action

    January 7, 2008
  • It doesn’t end. . .not in my house anyways. Little Monkey had been doing that since he was 18 months and he will be three in two weeks!

    Tiff @ Three Peas in a Pod’s last blog post..My First Product Review is up!!

    January 7, 2008
  • Trust me!! having 2 kids with voices and screams like a loudhorn at home spells even bigger trouble!! *fix.ear.test.appointmen*

    napaboaniya’s last blog post..Mind of a 6 year old

    January 8, 2008
  • river

    Ear plugs. BEST. INVENTION. EVER.
    Watch him closely. The second he opens his mouth to scream, hand him something. Anything. Nail gun, samurai sword……just kidding. Hand him something safe. Like a breadstick, just pop it in that open mouth, and get on with whatever you were doing.

    January 8, 2008
  • Are you saving “Cussing as a Coping Mechanism” until he can speak more clearly?

    Di’s last blog post..The Colors of Depression

    January 8, 2008
  • And his response – “Huh?”

    Autumn Dahlia’s last blog post..Oh the vile life of the under keys

    January 8, 2008
  • Both of mine are screamers. Cordy is older, so now she just repeats what she wants over and over and over again until I give in. But Mira? Screams her bloody head off over anything, especially when I do the unthinkable of putting her down or (God forbid!) walking away from her.

    Congrats on the noms!

    Christina’s last blog post..Forgive The Bragging, Please

    January 8, 2008
  • [...] Braden still hasn’t stopped screaming his head off. In fact, he seems to have stepped it up a notch, and added another lovely behavior: The Fake Cry. “Wah-huh, Wah-huh, Wah-huh…*pant, pant, hyperventilate* Wah-huh, Wah-huh, Wah-huh!!!” So, there’s that now, too, along with The Shriek. [...]

    January 14, 2008
  • [...] there’s the matter of The Shriek.  Mommy & Daddy are really tired of hearing The Shriek.  We have been told by many wise [...]

    January 16, 2008

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