• Oh no he di-ent! Can’t believe your hubs did that. Mind you imagine your reaction had he NOT notified you until you got even more rat-arsed and staggered home…

    Incidentally, I wanted to mention, that I thought that you DO Look so much happier since you moved to Texas. LIke *really* ! Your photos on FB, are all happy, smiling, testiments to awesomeness. Oh and yeah, peacocks. Pretty, but noisy. Just ask the dictator who is the President of Zimbabwe, he has several tethered outside his presidential palace. Douche.
    .-= Ness at Drovers Run´s last blog ..So about those new plans… =-.

    May 26, 2010
    • As we all know, husbands can’t do ANYTHING RIGHT so really, I guess no matter what he had done I would have lost it. That fact that I’m a total bitch factors into that pretty highly, though.


      (I really am tremendously happier now that I’m back in TX.)

      May 26, 2010
  • Michelle

    Good to hear from you. And OUCH! at least it was an ‘after’ pic, imagine if you got the blood covered one.

    Glad you’re having fun now that you are HOME.

    May 26, 2010
    • Yeah, then Blythe and Leigh may have thrown up on the nachos while I was snotting on the green beans! Whew, glad we dodged that bullet….

      May 26, 2010
  • The awesomeness … it burns!

    May 26, 2010
  • You need to get out more…this shit is hilarious!

    A peacock??? Who sees a random freaking peacock??? I hope your son is okay too!

    May 26, 2010
    • Dude, there’s a ton of them living right across the street. I used to get to the page with the peacock on it in one of Braden’s books and not know what damn noise to make after having imitated all the other animals in the book.


      May 26, 2010
  • Anna Ellis

    Why do husbands allllways have to fuck up a good time?? I have a Gift Certificate for a free Photofacial (Laser) at Belza Medspa…. So I gotta ask… Did it hurt??? Oh and all my life next to my parents house, here in Austin, we have always had peacocks. They still live there and so do the dang peacocks I almost plow every time I drive by! LOL!

    Btw: That was like an old pic of Braden right? He really is okay right? :)

    May 26, 2010
    • Wasn’t that in the vows somewhere? “I promise to love, honor, cherish, and fuck up all her good times….”

      I didn’t have anything done – but Nathan promised us it doesn’t hurt. And I think he’s only lies about 56% of the time, so your odds are fairly good.

      May 26, 2010
  • That’s what I love about you, Lotus. When you come back – you come back in STYLE.

    (‘Coming back’ referring to having been gone so long from your blog)
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – The Reason =-.

    May 26, 2010
    • Well, you know, it was like I had it all built up inside and then it just exploded everywhere.

      Um. That’s what he said? Sorry, I couldn’t even take the chance that someone else wouldn’t do that for me.

      You often have to make sure a thing is done right by doing it yourself.

      (That’s what she said.)

      May 26, 2010
  • OMG thanks for the laugh! This was great.

    May 26, 2010
    • My pleasure! Tell your friends.

      Also, I have to share with you that your handle (surrounded by penises) gives me a horrifically frightening mental image. I’ll have to try to analyze why the penises around you in my mind are all 10ft tall, later. That really has to have psychological implications that I need to delve into.

      May 26, 2010
  • Were you drinking or doing crack? Jesus, woman.
    .-= Avitable´s last blog ..LOST: The other side of the coin =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • Wait a minute — THERE WAS A FUCKING PEACOCK? And I MISSED IT? The hell?

    I never get to have any fun.
    .-= Bejewell´s last blog ..Shamu Can Suck It. Dolphins Are Where It’s At =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • (P.S. I’ve been totally onto you for a while, you’re deceiving no one. But us socially inept, loser ho-bags need to stick together.)
    .-= Bejewell´s last blog ..Shamu Can Suck It. Dolphins Are Where It’s At =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • bitchin' Amy

    I came over after seeing the Chaste Bukowski’s tweet and am now just terribly jealous of how fun you supposedly socially inept ladies are making life in Austin sound. Bring some of those Mexican Martinis to BlogHer, ‘kay? And I hope yr baby’s all better!

    May 26, 2010
  • I Love you THIS MUCH

    hee hee
    .-= Rachel ~ Southern Fairytale´s last blog ..FreeBirds =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • A peacock? Those things are noisy. We used to have them living down the road.

    Burning skin, sounds like … fun?
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Tomorrow Night =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • My mom would call John’s move “Dirty Pool.”

    Dirty Pool, John. Dirty Pool.
    .-= VDog´s last blog ..I heart Etsy – May Flowers by @kaisermommy =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • you know that peacocks are totally bad luck.

    I say burn the motherfuckers and bury in hallowed ground. I will be hiding under my bed until you do it, K?

    May 26, 2010
  • I sorda love you all. Like in a “GODDAMN I PICKED THE WRONG CITY” sort of way. But you know that.

    Ok, so I don’t know Leigh but she sounds cool.

    You and Blythe are in.

    And fucking John. You know who is being the dickhead in this post? JOHN. JOHN IS THE DICKHEAD. You’re welcome, Universe.

    *Or, wait, Maybe John is god?
    .-= Mrs. Flinger AKA: Your Beesh´s last blog ..Here comes the sun LALALALA =-.

    May 26, 2010
  • I don’t like what happened to your boy’s head. But you? You are a work of indescribable awesomeness.
    .-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..GTT – Books =-.

    May 27, 2010
  • Woooo-eeeeeee! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! Okay, I think I’m coming to BlogHer and totally stalking you. If I can figure out what and where BlogHer is. (Talk about not getting out….)
    .-= WackyMummy´s last blog ..Mooning =-.

    May 27, 2010
  • Great detailed information, I just bookmarked you on my google reader

    Sent from my Android phone

    May 29, 2010
  • Following now :) Great job – Join my blog when you can and join some of the giveaways!!
    Randi @ MommyReview.com
    .-= MommyReview´s last blog ..Aquadoodle Disney Princess Wall Runner =-.

    May 29, 2010
  • I hate that Braden got hurt. And I really hate that John sent you that picture to tell you. I think I’ll punch him in the arm next time I see him. Oh, and don’t you think I’ll forget. I.won’t.

    Love this post, Loter. It really made me laugh.
    .-= Mishi´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Visit Edition} =-.

    May 30, 2010
  • This is the best blog post I’ve ever read.
    .-= Maria´s last blog ..Special =-.

    June 01, 2010
  • This was a piece of awesomeness…covered with more awesomeness. I’m so happy to have stumbled upon your blog through the weekly winners via photomommy’s blog!

    June 02, 2010
  • Al_Pal

    This post is sotally made of awesome.
    Except for the ouchy-head part.

    Otherwise? Pure awesome.

    June 03, 2010
  • […] *Post which documents previous signs that The Universe is a dickhead. […]

    August 26, 2010

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