Click here for an explanation of today’s Carnival.
When Marie interviewed me, she suggested that I re-post my story about breastfeeding Braden.
Kat suggested that it would be cool to do it and ask other people to link in with their stories. I agreed because the idea of not only sharing our experience, but having the opportunity to share yours with you, and learn from it, struck me as a really wonderful thing.
And thank you in advance, also, to all of you who will read these stories. You’ll find the stories of other participants linked in at the bottom of this post. You are welcome to add yours, as well.
I hope that you find something in them that you needed, even if you didn’t know you needed it.
And now, here is “The Braden Boobie-Milk Story…” or “How My Son and My Boobs Parted Ways”
***
I have always planned on breastfeeding my children. I planned to do it before I even thought about it. By that, I mean that I don’t think I ever even considered NOT breastfeeding them, if that makes sense. It’s like it wasn’t even an option.My mother breastfed all 3 of her children (openly, proudly, and happily). Maybe you get saggy boobs; who cares!? I know about the positive benefits for the child, from the wonderful immunity boosts to the great bonding and comfort. Add to that the increased ability to metabolize the Junk in My Trunk, and the fact that IT’S FREE, and breast milk becomes God Juice.
While I was pregnant I read at least 3 books solely about Breastfeeding, as well as many which included sections on the topic. I read magazines, web articles, forums, and various other posts, until I had BF Info pouring outta my ass.
I researched breast-pumps, nursing pads, nipples creams, etc. I bought several nursing bras and tops. Up to and directly after Braden’s birth, I borrowed, bought, and stocked all the things I thought would help in the breastfeeding journey, from pillows to pads to pumps to creams.
I was SO READY.
Braden inhaled meconium upon entering our lovely world (8:35pm on 10.16.06) which caused some respiratory distress. I didn’t get to hold him right after he came out. That, in itself, really sucked. But you can hear more about it when I (re)post his Birth Story on March 24th.
Once he was stable, I got to hold him for a very BRIEF moment, and then he was gone to the nursery for observation and monitoring. I didn’t get to see him again for hours, and I didn’t get to hold him again until 4am. That whole part of my Birth Plan about how “I want to nurse immediately after delivery!!!” flew right into the fan, along with the shit that had hit it moments before.
(Er, or did it even have a chance to hit the fan before Braden sucked it into his lungs?)
When we did start nursing later that night, I thought I was doing okay, but, let’s face it… even after all the reading and such, I didn’t REALLY know what the hell I was doing! This was the first non-romantic booby suck I’d ever had!
The next day, a Lactation Consultant helped me with Braden’s latch. I had been DREADING the LC. Throughout my pregnancy, I (internally) swore that nobody was going to be all over my boobies telling me what to do with them. Not only am I stubborn, and headstrong (I know how to do everything right the first time, and I don’t need any help, ever. DUH.), but I’m not into the whole “another woman’s gonna touch my boobies now, YAY!” thing. (Except with you over there, Mm-hm, you know who you are. *wink*)
Ha! By that day, I didn’t give half a rat’s ass who saw my knockers. (The day before, countless people saw every uncharted inch of my body, and I didn’t care then, either.)
I WELCOMED the LC to be all over my boobies telling me what to do with them. And she REALLY HELPED. She gave me some tips and showed me some things that made it easier to go about setting up a proper latch, actual demonstration of different “holds,” and cues to look for that would tell me Braden was actually swallowing nourishment.
That night, Braden puked up a bunch of yellow stuff, and I freaked out.
(This falls under the category of “OMG, IS HE BREATHING??” and “MY BABY THREW UP, HE’S DYING, I KNOW IT!”)
Ah, the wonders of being a first-time parent (read: paranoid, semi-idiot with offspring) during the first week. Heh.The nurse we frantically summoned to our room from the nursery told me that it was normal, and it was yellow because he was getting lots of colostrum; a good sign. I was relieved, as well as proud. That’s right, people, the Mommy Juice was A’flowin.
Later that night, Braden started crying. He was fed. Changed. Swaddled. Rocked. Cuddled. Sung to. Prayed Over. Fed. Changed. Rocked. Cuddled. The crying became an awful, wailing, screaming.
It. Just. Wouldn’t. Stop.
That’s when another part of the Birth Plan – “No bottles or pacifiers are to be given to my son at ANY TIME!” – went right out the window. (No more fan, we’re just chunking things out of the 3rd story window now, thanks.)
John went to the nursery and got a paci. Upon his return, he told me that a nurse in the hallway saw him with it, and remarked, “It will become your Best Friend.” Ohhh, how right she was. (But it’s the only best friend I’ve ever wished had never existed.)
It soothed The Boy. Thus began a long love-affair with Paci-Poo.
We took our amazing, beautiful miracle home, and started the Journey Of Parenthood on Wednesday, October 18th. He was a joy. Sure, he often seemed cranky, irritable, and farty… but we just thought it was because he was taking after me. And when he made that loud, grunting Turd Announcement, we just thought it was funny, and we laughed….
On Friday night, I was changing a diaper, and noticed a tiny speck of blood amidst the mustard. My mind reeled. My stomach lurched and churned. My heart was running a marathon. I called John (he was on The Road with Chris Cagle) to freak out in his ear. We decided that since Braden seemed fine otherwise, we’d wait until his scheduled appointment on Monday.
That was a long weekend.
During Braden’s visit, his pediatrician asked me if I had brought a stool sample. DOH! Didn’t think of that one. She had to stick her finger up his butt to get some poo, which he LOVED. It was tested, and the result was positive for blood.
She looked grim. My heart sank.
That began my dairy exclusion diet. Let me make the point here that I LOVE DAIRY, ESPECIALLY CHEESE. But I was going to do whatever it took to breastfeed. So. No Dairy.
For those 2 weeks, I consumed no dairy, and I struggled with my little boy.
We’d have awesome nursing sessions… and then we’d have the “I love your booby, NO I HATE YOUR BOOBY, IT MAKES ME CRY… wait, I love it, I love it… NO I HATE IT!!!” sessions. His latch made my hoohas burn. My hoohas made him cry.I cried a lot.
A LOT.
Whining moment: I was a new mother. Super educated, and yet, still clueless. EXHAUSTED. Worried. Confused. Scared. Frustrated. Not allowing myself caffeine, alcohol, or dairy. Wondering why my body was being such a piece of shit. Doubting myself as a mother. Feeling like a failure, and mad about it.
Andsotired.
At the next Poop Test, I remembered to bring a used diaper. No finger. But still blood.
Dr. Hunter said we should give it more time because it can take awhile for all the remnants of dairy to clear out of our systems.
More trying. More crying. Pumping so Daddy could help feed.
Thanksgiving Day. Rather pleasant… until 10pm.
Non-stop, High-Intensity Screaming Cry from 10pm until 4am.
That’s right, friends. The COLIC had arrived.
“Hi, COLIC! We’re The Carrolls! Here’s our Jugular, why not get it over quickly?”
But nooo, no getting it over quickly was going to be had.
The crying, every night. The utter helpless, frustrating feeling of complete failure.
Next Poop Test. Blood. AGAIN.
That began the addition of Soy Exclusion.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PRODUCTS CONTAIN SOME FORM OF SOY?
No dairy. No Soy.
Mommy so tired.
We tried so hard. I don’t know what words to use to express the anguish of moments when my son would be SO HUNGRY and latch SO EAGERLY and then completely reject my breasts, crying, because he was IN PAIN.
It was almost sad that we actually DID have some really GOOD breastfeeding sessions. (Don’t ask me how or why. I guess sometimes his gut pain wasn’t as bad as at others.)
I knew what it was like when it was right. Why couldn’t it be that way all the time???
Next appointment was December 18th.
Dr. Hunter left the room with Braden’s Stool Test Card. We waited.
She came back, looking bummed. Blood. STILL.
I think I had to use all of the strength I’ve ever summoned just to stop myself from crumpling onto the floor of the examining room.
She reluctantly suggested that it was time to put him on a special formula for babies with milk protein allergy. She said I should pump every 2-3 hours so that I could still possibly breastfeed, if necessary.
If.Necessary.
The tone of her voice and the look on her face didn’t say it would be necessary. She told me that if I couldn’t keep breastfeeding him, I could always try again with the next baby.
The.Next.Baby.
The meaning of her words was too heavy, and I started crying. I cry every time I remember this moment.
Dr. Hunter was gentle, thoughtful, kind and reassuring, and I got it together. On the outside.
We put Braden on the formula (Enfamil Nutramigen, aka Liquid Gold). Within less than 24 hours, he was a completely different baby. He was happy. He smiled a lot. He cooed.
He allowed us to put him in his bouncer and eat together, at the same time, you know, while neither of us was holding a baby???
WE WERE STUNNED. Elated.
Still, I pumped my dirty pillows. I pumped and pumped and hoped and waited and watched and pumped.
I HATED pumping. It HURT. Anyone who thinks that pumping is easy is a dork. One that should be punched in the face.
After almost a week, I went to my husband and we had The Talk.
It was time to stop pumping. I stopped adding to my Freezer Full of Breast Milk. I washed the pump and Put It Away.
Again, I cried.
But I also rejoiced, because my son was HAPPY.
It took 2 more visits for us to get a test negative for blood. Do you get the thrust of that? The proteins in my breast milk were ripping up the insides of my son’s intestines so badly that it took him a full month to heal completely.
I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t feel slighted. I did. I have a long list of laments: loss of ability to give my child greater immunity, loss of bonding time, loss of that special feeling (that Words Can’t Describe thing about BF your infant), loss of MONEY, loss of self-worth, loss of ability to burn extra calories, damnit.
But what I gained was priceless. A happy, healthy baby.
Incidentally, I kept the Freezer Full of Breast Milk until I was forced to clean it out when we moved in May 2007. (I cried again, of course.)
Braden is my sweet, amazing, beautiful, funny, crazy, smart, happy-go-lucky, fast, silly, HEALTHY son.
I’d do anything for him.
Even NOT breastfeed.
I support Breastfeeding Moms, Pumping Moms, Bottlefeeding Moms. No matter whether you’re putting a boob or a bottle in your infant’s mouth, no matter if there’s breastmilk, goat’s milk, or formula flowing into your child’s stomach, no matter how long you do it, or the choices you make about being ‘discrete,’ I salute you, MOMS & DADS.
I’m in Support of Moms and Dads who love, care for, nurture, and comfort their children in healthy ways that are right for their families. Period.
Thanks for reading this. I think (know) I needed to write it.
PLEASE ADD YOUR BREAST/PUMPING/BOTTLE- FEEDING STORY TO THE LIST OF LINKS BELOW!
I only ask that you link in with the DIRECT LINK to your post, NOT your main website address. This way, visitors who come here much later will still be able to easily find your story and benefit from it!
Irrelevant links will be deleted.
#1 by janet on March 11, 2008 - 12:10 AM
awesome post, lotus. we do amazing things for our babies — and go through the tortures of hell when it doesn’t work out the way we think it should.
janet’s last blog post..Not ME, but still MINE
#2 by zoeyjane on March 11, 2008 - 1:00 AM
that was amazing.
you know, no one ever thought to check isobel for a dairy issue. even in the fourth month of colic that would average between 4 and 10 hours of screaming, daily.
now at 19 months, through my own research of her, um, attitude problem, i’m starting to see that there might be a dairy issue. your story has totally shook me up, cuz like, what if that’s all it is, all it’s ever been with her and breastfeeding her for a year totally wrecked her insides? ugh.
i’ll be posting mine tomorrow. during nap time.
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Psst.
#3 by Saltgirl on March 11, 2008 - 1:04 AM
Wow. And I thought I had a bitch of a time. At least my kid could handle my milk once I went on the air and water elimination diet from hell.
What won’t we do for our kids?
Saltgirl’s last blog post..I’ll take my coffee with a cuddle
#4 by Karen Sugarpants on March 11, 2008 - 1:36 AM
Wow. What a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing your story. I sure hope it helps other new moms see that they don’t need to feel guilty over breastfeeding or not breastfeeding – whatever works is best – especially if it means a happy family. Good for you for putting it so amazingly Lotus!
xoxo
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Why I Don’t Blog Every Damn Day
#5 by river on March 11, 2008 - 1:50 AM
Lovely story and I’m glad there was help available for you. I tried breastfeeding my first two and had such badly cracked nipples after a couple of weeks, I was glad to switch to bottles. Unfortunately I had so much milk it took forever to dry up. While still in hospital we were encouraged to express leftover breast milk for the premature babies ward and I remember expressing at least three little jugs of milk at each feed, the stuff just kept coming! (Must have been a Jersey cow in a previous life). No suggestion of pumping or nipple creams was ever mentioned. I was handed a sample of formula and a bottle and that was that. With my third I just bottle fed from day one. By the time I had my fourth it was a different story. I’d found out about the Nursing mothers Association and got some helpful tips so the breastfeeding was tried again. And it was great. No problems at all. J was fed for 4 months. Then my (ex)hubby started complaining that this had “gone on long enough”. He wanted his playthings back. I switched to bottles. Sad, I know, but I’d been raised to “do what I was told”. Thankfully my eldest was different, her first was fed for 6 weeks before being put on a soy formula because of the screaming which turned out to be dairy protein allergy, but the second child was breastfed for almost two years before he voluntarily gave it up.I’ll always regret not even trying with my third child, but she was always happy and healthy and the bottle washing, formula mixing were not a great hardship.
#6 by 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why on March 11, 2008 - 3:04 AM
I know how you feel with the disappointment and feelings of inadequacy. My post will show up this afternoon, but I went through the same things for some of the same reasons.
‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..Going Bananas
#7 by Taz on March 11, 2008 - 3:28 AM
fantastic post..
breast feeding is fantastic..
i never got to appreciate it..
as Maddison never latched,, but there were alot of issues with her at the birth and a little after..
i do hope next time its more succesful..
Taz’s last blog post..20 weeks old
#8 by Janine on March 11, 2008 - 3:55 AM
Loved this idea. I could go on at length about breastfeeding – I’ve had different experiences with all my three children. Thanks for sharing.
#9 by mountainmama on March 11, 2008 - 4:10 AM
I’m so lucky…I’m so lucky…a bit of pain and bloody nipples and a whopping great horse needle are nothing compared to what some of you had to go through. And I hope we haven’t put off any of you who are still thinking about – whatever you do for your precious ones is worth it.
Thanks, Lotus, great carny….I’m off for some reading.
mountainmama’s last blog post..Reclaiming my breasts
#10 by shannymar on March 11, 2008 - 4:50 AM
No dairy or soy! it sucks you had to go thrugh all that just to end up not being able to nurse him after all. But I am so glad he is happyand healthy and hat’s all that matters, right?! ; )
shannymar’s last blog post..Breastfeeding Carnival!
#11 by Veronica on March 11, 2008 - 5:12 AM
This made me all teary again reading it. I count myself so lucky that Amy’s milk protein allergy was never as bad as Bradens. Although, I still have to be careful of what I eat.
Veronica’s last blog post..I’m Back!
#12 by FireMom on March 11, 2008 - 6:06 AM
I think it’s sad that most mothers wouldn’t dream of posting this on TEH INTERNETZ for fear of being flamed.
Thank you for sharing.
FireMom’s last blog post..The Key to the Terrible Twos: Positive Thinking
#13 by Lou Lohman on March 11, 2008 - 6:10 AM
After having fed two boys successfully, we went through the same colic thing for three months before we put Zach on formula. THAt was what he needed. He’s been a strange kid ever since. Well … different, anyway.
Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Work, work, work
#14 by Rebecca on March 11, 2008 - 6:45 AM
I am not a mom, so I’ve not breastfed. But I WAS breastfed.
My husband and I don’t plan on having any children, so I’ll never get to experience the joy (and, perhaps, heartache, of breastfeeding). However, I will be a breastfeeding advocate forever. That said, there ARE situations in which it’s better for Mom and for Baby to formula feed. Your story is DEFINITELY one of them.
I am looking forward to reading everyone’s feeding stories, breast, bottle, or a combination of the two…
Rebecca’s last blog post..I’ve moved!
#15 by Rebecca on March 11, 2008 - 6:46 AM
Why is CommentLuv picking up my “I’ve moved!” post? That’s the second time that’s happened from this site. Weird… (At least everyone will know I’ve moved.
)
Rebecca’s last blog post..I’ve moved!
#16 by TX Poppet on March 11, 2008 - 7:05 AM
Love this post, Lotus. You did such a great job of capturing new mommy angst without being whiney or flippant. Thanks for hosting this! My post is here.
TX Poppet’s last blog post..A Tale of Two Ti++ies
#17 by Babyamore (Trish) on March 11, 2008 - 7:23 AM
thanks for sharing your story Lotus – you are exceptional in that you tried.
I hope we can all just learn to support to each other in our choices.
Mothering those first few week is so hard I am glad Braden’s health problems were finally sorted out,then he thrived and grew into the most gorgeous little boy.
Babyamore (Trish)’s last blog post..Happy Multiple Birth …
#18 by Baby Mama aka Tamra on March 11, 2008 - 7:24 AM
Wow, thanks for sharing your story. I cried a little. You so obviously love your little munchkin. Nursing my first baby was difficult and nothing at all like I had imagined. I don’t know if i could have done it without the help of my Mom. Now I’ve nursed 5 babies (soon 6), and I’m still amazed at how each one is different. It’s always a journey.
Baby Mama aka Tamra’s last blog post..Live Music
#19 by Rachel on March 11, 2008 - 8:27 AM
Awesome post! I feel like I went through the same thing with my oldest. I tried and tried and tried my hardest to breastfeed. But, not only was she not able to digest milk, I barely produced any. I was devastated that I could not feed my own child. I cried alot too.
When my second daughter was born, I was prepared for the same thing to happen, but still hopeful. Then, she was a month early, emergency c-section. She just couldn’t latch on very well and again, I was barely producing any milk. She ended up on Similac Alimentum and finally began to thrive.
#20 by Michelle on March 11, 2008 - 8:37 AM
I want to try breast feeding but I hear so many stories like yours…I don’t know if I could stick it out that long. I don’t want my struggle to breast feed to rob me of the joy of the first few weeks/months with our new baby. But then again I’ll probably be so tired it won’t matter. Heh. Breast feeding scares the crap out of me – if it is so natural why do so many women struggle with it so much?
Michelle’s last blog post..Unscathed
#21 by Sarcastic Mom on March 11, 2008 - 9:06 AM
Michelle – Please don’t let my story (or those of others) dissuade you from trying to breastfeed. Mother’s milk is SO good for a child that it’s always worth a try, no matter what. Part of the problem is that everyone thinks “It’s natural, so if there are problems, I should stop, because I just can’t do it.” And the truth is, NOTHING about raising a child is easy. Ever. (you know that already, though!)
So please just go at it in the same way you go at everything else about your baby’s life – trying to do what is absolutely best for the baby, no matter what.
I’m going to try all over again with the next baby, you better believe it, sister!
(and yes, you are going to be TIRED AS HELL no matter what, too)
And if you ever need support, there are lots of us out here who are willing to give it to you while you’re in the thick of things (both online and right here in Nashville, baby!). Just reach out!
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..(Breast)feeding Carnival
#22 by Ann on March 11, 2008 - 9:07 AM
You are amazing. I seriously think that this should be published to ease the guilt of mom’s who can’t breastfeed who have their heart set on it. Truly a great post and one of my favorites of your thus far.
Man…mine seems terrible compared to yours now! But, I posted my feeding story too. I would feel honored if you read it!
http://anndaniel.blogspot.com
Ann’s last blog post..Breastfeeding adventures.
#23 by justmylife on March 11, 2008 - 9:13 AM
Thanks for sharing, I thought I was the only one that had those kinds of trouble when I breastfed. No blood in the stool but the screaming for 12 hours a day 7 days a week for 3 1/2 months! I wish I would have known about blogging then. Of course I don’t even remember cooking during those months, so I guess I wouldn’t have remembered to blog or read about others going through the same thing.
justmylife’s last blog post..It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood!
#24 by alejna on March 11, 2008 - 9:17 AM
Thanks for sharing your story. What an ordeal. I’m so glad that you found a way to get your baby boy happy and healthy.
It’s great that you are putting this carnival together. A lot of women have stories to share.
I had a lot of breastfeeding problems, too. (I don’t see myself writing a post just now, though.) My main problem was low supply, but there were loads of other problems, too. I worked closely with a lactation consultant, but later found a website that I found extremely helpful: Mothers Overcoming Breastfeeding Issues (or MOBI).
I really wished that I’d found the site earlier, as it had huge amounts of information, personal stories, as well as an associated online support group. I cried when I first found the site, because it was so validating for me.
alejna’s last blog post..allow me to bore you
#25 by Junebug on March 11, 2008 - 9:18 AM
Great story. I was able to breast feed my three children. The first daughter for 10 months, my son for 13 months (had to quit ’cause I was pregnant with number three) and my youngest daughter for only 3 months. I got very sick, had a fever of 104 for 10 days and just couldn’t do it anymore. It made me sad to quit. Guilty too. But that’s how it worked out and I could do nothing to change it. I highly recommend breast feeding.
Junebug’s last blog post..American Idol-Hallelejah
#26 by Hot Librarian on March 11, 2008 - 9:20 AM
Hi, newish reader here. Thanks for reposting this, you are a rockstar.
Hot Librarian’s last blog post..Because my head is in a vise grip…
#27 by emma on March 11, 2008 - 9:22 AM
Wat is it about breast -feeding that is so hard. Honestly, in retrospect I had quite an easy time of it. But I rememeber that first week of utter fatigue nd worry and confusion, convinced I was doing everything wrong and my breasts hurt and my daughter cried – it just l felt so hard. Then I talk to people who REALLY had it hard. And I know my experience was cake.
emma’s last blog post..Party
#28 by emma on March 11, 2008 - 9:22 AM
What is it about breast -feeding that is so hard. Honestly, in retrospect I had quite an easy time of it. But I rememeber that first week of utter fatigue nd worry and confusion, convinced I was doing everything wrong and my breasts hurt and my daughter cried – it just l felt so hard. Then I talk to people who REALLY had it hard. And I know my experience was cake.
emma’s last blog post..Party
#29 by missy wiggins on March 11, 2008 - 9:54 AM
what a great post! this basically happened with my daughter. we had to buy the liquid gold too and it was hard to not beat myself up about it.
besides the milk protein allergy i also contracted a blood infection that nearly killed me due to a terrible case of mastitis!
missy wiggins’s last blog post..recycling 101
#30 by Sadie on March 11, 2008 - 10:31 AM
Wonderful post, Lotus!! I love reading these stories as much as birth stories!! I think uniting women instead of dividing them over this debate is so important!! Whether you BF or not, you’re STILL a mother…and we all need to stick together! I gladly put up all three of my experiences at my blog. As I said there the birth story day will be infinitely more difficult as each child deserves their own post…*lol*
Sadie’s last blog post..It’s B**by day!!!
#31 by daysgoby on March 11, 2008 - 10:41 AM
What still makes me angry is the lack of preparation that most women receive. We’re taught that it’s natural, that everyone should do it, but no one mentions that it doesn’t always work, that sometimes it just isn’t the right thing. (And I do NOT mean to turn your comment section into a warground and this is JUST MY OPINION, but the women that came from La Leche made me feel worthless and inadequate because I couldn’t get my body to work. And I still resent that.)
daysgoby’s last blog post..(not) (breast) feeding carnival post
#32 by Crunchy Domestic Goddess on March 11, 2008 - 10:48 AM
thanks for sharing your story, lotus. that must have been so difficult to go through. kudos to you for doing what is best for your son, even if it was so hard for you.
hugs, mama!
Crunchy Domestic Goddess’s last blog post..Best Shot Monday – 3/10/08 – Hanging out
#33 by Heather.PNR on March 11, 2008 - 10:57 AM
Fantastic post.
Like you, I never considered anything but breastfeeding for my future children. I was the daughter of a LLL leader, for pete’s sake. Then we adopted. Even though bottlefeeding was the only workable option for us, it took me a long time to get over the guilt–I felt it just standing in the bottle aisle at the store.
Thank you for not only hosting the carnival, but making it so inclusive.
Heather.PNR’s last blog post..Say Anything Else
#34 by Mr Lady on March 11, 2008 - 11:00 AM
Doing this…right after gymnastics.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Just Another Memey Monday
#35 by rachel on March 11, 2008 - 11:50 AM
amazing post. you are a rock star.
rachel’s last blog post..Wam-Whosa?
#36 by Kim on March 11, 2008 - 12:03 PM
Lotus.. what a wonderful post and idea.. so thank you!!!
I just recently put my stories up.. and I will say that breastfeeding was the most challenging thing and rewarding thing I have ever done in my life.. I was just not strong enough mentally to do it twice..
Much love you.. and the little boy is too cute for words!!!!
Kim’s last blog post..BreastFeeding/BottleFeeding Carnival
#37 by Suzanne on March 11, 2008 - 1:04 PM
Thanks for sharing this. I’ll probably add my stories later tonight. My older son had 7 weeks of nursing until I had a health emergency and was hospitalized for 9 days.
I made it up with my younger son. Twenty months, until I needed an MRI with a radioactive dye.
When you want to nurse, but can’t, it’s easy to feel like a failure. However, having a happy, healthy child trumps all else.
On that front, it’s easy to see in those pictures that you’ve succeeded in having a happy healthy Braden. That’s what matters!
Suzanne’s last blog post..Party Time!
#38 by RubiaLala on March 11, 2008 - 1:16 PM
I totally feel for you and understand. I could cry right now because I can just feel your heart wrenching, mine is wrenched.
Somehow, they still grow up to be healthy smart kids without our breast milk. I think it’s God’s way of blessing us for wanting to breastfeed them so badly!
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Do You Want Milk or Juice?
#39 by Makeshift Mama on March 11, 2008 - 1:23 PM
I can totally related, except that, for me, I was blessed with the exclusion diet actually working. We just got through over 4 months of absolutely no milk or soy for this mama, and she outgrew the allergies at 6 1/2 months, which was such a blessing. It’s amazing to be able to eat those things again (I’m also a cheese addict). There were times when I thought about weaning her because it was so hard for me to find enough to eat and not be depressed over my restricted diet, but I kept going because I wanted to give her the best chance I could at avoiding future allergies, and I knew that many other moms, like you, would kill for the chance to be able to continue nursing despite such problems. With Felicity, too, the change was immediate – from a cranky, miserable baby that had to be held constantly to a smiling little bundle of joy. I am so glad that you guys finally figured out how to care for him best and bring out that sweet grin, and I’m so sorry that your dreams of breastfeeding had to die in the process. You are a very strong woman, and an amazing mother, to go through all of that for your son. He is one lucky boy.
Makeshift Mama’s last blog post..Just when you thought you were rid of me…
#40 by cj on March 11, 2008 - 1:27 PM
I can totally feel your emotion within this post. You wrote very clearly and I can picture it all. Exhaustion is an understatement. Learning to breastfeed is hard enough without all the confusion and stress of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong.
I cried a lot with my first daughter, and we had no “real” problems…La Leche never tells the truth. And no one in my family breastfed their babies, so I finally turned to the support of a breastfeeding group at the hospital I delivered in. THANK GOD I did. I nursed my daughter for 2 and a half years. The second baby was WAY easier. WAY!! Good on you for getting through such a tough time.
#41 by Anglophile Football Fanatic on March 11, 2008 - 1:38 PM
It’s funny how similar our boys were…course I never thought about the elimination diet. I couldn’t do it. You rock for sticking with it. And, yes. with 7 weeks of only pumping! I agree it sucks big hairy, donkey balls.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Tit for Tot
#42 by Punk Rock Mom on March 11, 2008 - 1:54 PM
Thanks for sharing this. I had a horrible time trying to breastfeed my little one. I gave up after 3 months and have alwyas felt horrible about it. These stories finally made me realize that I am not alone and there are many women (and beautiful healthy babies) out there that could not breastfeed for many different reasons!
Punk Rock Mom’s last blog post..Dr Nina Wins An Award
#43 by Mrs. F on March 11, 2008 - 2:15 PM
What a beautiful story!
Mrs. F’s last blog post..To Say Hello or Not?
#44 by Dawn on March 11, 2008 - 2:19 PM
wurd.
Dawn’s last blog post..Talkin’ About My Boobies!
#45 by Caroline Bingham on March 11, 2008 - 2:19 PM
Awww, another case of best intentions. Crazy baby allergies.
Caroline Bingham’s last blog post..If this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right….
#46 by Beck on March 11, 2008 - 2:21 PM
You poor girl – what a hard time!
I had a rough, rough time with my first munchkin – she couldn’t nurse for reasons that took us a long time to figure out, and she couldn’t digest formula. So I pumped milk for six months and she was exclusively breastmilk-fed for seven months, thanks to my astonishing milk supply.
My next baby? Latched on in the delivery room and didn’t unlatch until he was 2. So one baby does NOT determine the nursing path for the rest!
Beck’s last blog post..Here’s a title for ya.
#47 by Jenty on March 11, 2008 - 3:09 PM
You did amazingly well, sticking to it for as long as you did!! This was an amazing carnival idea, thanks.
Jenty’s last blog post..(Bottle) Feeding Carnival
#48 by Corey on March 11, 2008 - 3:11 PM
wow! what a story. Thanks for sharing it. I will share mine someday….but not yet. My journey is still in progress.
I will say here though….I have felt the pain of elimination diet. I ate NO dairy (not even minute dairy in things like bread or pasta), no chocolate, no tomato, no nuts, or gassy veggies for 9 monhts. I am really not sure what I ate….it is a distant memory.
Corey’s last blog post..Just Kidding Around
#49 by Mel on March 11, 2008 - 3:28 PM
Fantastic post – thanks! I got a comment on my blog from baby~amore about a breastfeeding related post i had written saying i should submit it here – so heres the link: http://www.melinanutshell.com/2008/03/breastfeeding-in-literature.html
mel
Mel’s last blog post..Breastfeeding in Literature
#50 by Karen MEG on March 11, 2008 - 3:34 PM
What a wonderful blog carnival Lotus! I’m loving reading everyone’s stories… I think I may have to add my own, because I went through similar trials and tribulations, especially with my boy.
Look at your Braden now! Obviously Mommy has been doing something right all along.
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Close Encounters of the Suburban Kind
#51 by donna on March 11, 2008 - 4:18 PM
Thanks for sharing your story. Mine is up now too!
donna’s last blog post..Who Doesn’t Love a Carnival?
#52 by Kitty on March 11, 2008 - 4:38 PM
Loved your post! I can so relate especially to the fact that I hated pumping,hated it,learned to loathe the word pump.When they say it isn’t easy to BF in the beginning that’s an understatement for sure.
#53 by Karen MEG on March 11, 2008 - 4:50 PM
Mine’s up now too, BTW. Gawd, I’m longwinded !!!
Karen MEG’s last blog post..They did what they’re supposed to do … sort of
#54 by Suzanne on March 11, 2008 - 5:48 PM
My story is up, but the post it brings you to is party time. Please click on “The Nursing Diaries” in the sidebar to get to my story.
Cool idea, Lotus. It was great to have something to do while waiting at Chef’s cooking class today without bandwidth.
Suzanne’s last blog post..Party Time!
#55 by CableGirl on March 11, 2008 - 5:50 PM
What an incredible story.
I want to thank you for hosting this carnival. I was late to the game, but I’ve found posting about this an incredibly cathartic experience.
CableGirl’s last blog post..You can’t always get what you want.
#56 by wright on March 11, 2008 - 5:57 PM
Thanks for sharing! It’s so good to hear other stories and know that we all go through something when trying to breastfeed.
wright’s last blog post..Helping Out
#57 by Fern on March 11, 2008 - 6:12 PM
Good story! Glad they figured out the problem!
I had to do a 3-part post because of my kajillion kids, and because I have SO MUCH to say about (breast)feeding them. So much wisdom dripping from these milky hooters, you know.
Fern’s last blog post..my femoustache, the third part
#58 by Mommyca on March 11, 2008 - 6:27 PM
Aww, great post, made me all teary eyed. I too could not BF, but I tired and I cried, the I tried somemore, but ended up crying again. It’s nice to know that there are some mommies out there that support all ways of feeding your kids, because really all that matters is that they are getting fed and are happy:o)
Mommyca’s last blog post..Who has two thumbs……
#59 by Burgh Baby's Mom on March 11, 2008 - 6:43 PM
I NEVER play along with these kinds of things. You, SM, must be very special. I was able to BF, but no thanks to the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
#60 by *pixie* on March 11, 2008 - 7:22 PM
Gah…I so wanted to participate in this. But, alas, today is my long day at work. Perhaps another time.
*pixie*’s last blog post..11 months
#61 by Melessa on March 11, 2008 - 7:22 PM
I loved reading this! And, being relatively new to your blog, I really loved the baby pics. Fussy and otherwise.
Melessa’s last blog post..My First Bloggy Carnival
#62 by stephanie on March 11, 2008 - 8:01 PM
Thanks so much for your honest and heartfelt telling of your story. When I have kids I’d *like* to BF, but it’s good to know it’s not always easy. Thanks for the heads up!
#63 by Robinella on March 11, 2008 - 8:22 PM
Wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.
Robinella’s last blog post..Boob Stories Carnival
#64 by janethesane on March 11, 2008 - 9:01 PM
Ugh…how did I miss this coming up? I would love to get my story off my chest (ha ha). This phrase summed up my experience:
“I love your booby, NO I HATE YOUR BOOBY, IT MAKES ME CRY… wait, I love it, I love it… NO I HATE IT!!!”
I did everything wrong too and that didn’t help.
janethesane’s last blog post..Wow, how boring
#65 by Marketing Mama on March 11, 2008 - 10:00 PM
Thanks for sharing your story. I found your blog from NaBloPoMo and like your carnival ideas… very cool! I’m so sorry to hear how stressful breastfeeding was for you and your son. He looks so cute and happy!
Marketing Mama’s last blog post..(Breast)Feeding Carnival
#66 by Summer on March 11, 2008 - 10:08 PM
We moms are pretty amazing people.
Summer’s last blog post..My Breastfeeding Story
#67 by Elizabeth on March 11, 2008 - 10:12 PM
I adored breastfeeding my girls. *Adored It* So much so that I considered having another baby just to do it again.
I had a helluva time breastfeeding in the beginning. Like you I was stubborn as hell… only it was MY boobs that were the issue, not Emily’s digestive system. Through 2 weeks of near torture I suffered through until one day… everything fell into place. And it was amazing after that. *sigh*
Elizabeth’s last blog post..This is what happens when I am left alone with nothing better to do.
#68 by Latte Mommy on March 11, 2008 - 10:40 PM
I’m late to this party, but I’m loving reading everyone’s posts. Thanks for getting this started!
I’ll have my post up ASAP…
Latte Mommy’s last blog post..Take That, McDreamy…
#69 by Erika on March 11, 2008 - 11:52 PM
Your story is amazing, and what an awesome mama you are for trying, you have a beautiful boy!!!!
Erika’s last blog post..My relationship with breastfeeding
#70 by Melissa on March 12, 2008 - 6:30 AM
Wow…
Ditto what “Ann // Mar 11, 2008 at 9:07 am” said.
This should totally be publised in every baby mag.
#71 by Ree on March 12, 2008 - 7:46 AM
Thanks for sharing this again with all of us. Lovingly told.
Ree’s last blog post..For LOLCats Fans
#72 by Angie on March 12, 2008 - 8:49 AM
Great story, Lotus. Thanks for sharing.
Angie’s last blog post..Back to Life
#73 by Susan on March 12, 2008 - 9:40 AM
Aw…that made me cry
. You did the best for your baby that you could, and for that you’re a great mama.
#74 by Karmyn R on March 12, 2008 - 9:59 AM
You are the second person I’ve heard who had a baby allergic to their breast milk. I am just amazed and stunned, really. Because something that is suppose to be sooooo natural could be so painful to the baby. It makes me sad – AND, I also wonder about all those babies in the “old days” who probably had the same problem, but the mom’s didn’t know or understand. Maybe they used goat’s milk. who knows.
We can be thankful for formula now days!!!!
Karmyn R’s last blog post..Life is Cruel
#75 by A Jill of All Trades on March 12, 2008 - 10:27 AM
I went through the exact same thing with Aidan as far as the meconium goes.
I wanted to breastfeed right off, but it wasn’t happening. That and I was exhausted after being in the hospital in labor for 5 days.
My milk supply was too low to even give him what he needed.
A Jill of All Trades’s last blog post..Target, Target you’re the one! You make shopping lots of fun!!
#76 by DeuceMom on March 12, 2008 - 11:03 AM
I’m so glad to see a celebration of all our happy babies – breastfed or otherwise. I can relate to the “need” to breastfeed, along with a lot of other difficult/impossible things about parenthood. Happy healthy baby is most important, but it’s NOT easy!
DeuceMom’s last blog post..Letters and Titles and Die Cuts, Oh My!
#77 by amy on March 12, 2008 - 11:21 AM
Wow, Lotus! What a great post! I am so sorry that it did not work out for you, but man you are amazing. You kept trying when so many others would have quit and I truly admire you for that!
amy’s last blog post..If moms made appliances
#78 by Kathryn on March 12, 2008 - 2:09 PM
Egad. What you went through! Sheesh! I give you so much credit for trying as hard as you did. And I’m so sorry this is such a heartbreaking topic for you. But you should be proud of yourself. You did everything you could and your boy is healthy and beautiful! Well done!
Kathryn’s last blog post..WW- Rub-A-Dub Dub
#79 by NotJustBarbra on March 12, 2008 - 6:27 PM
Thanks for sharing your story! All parents are to be commended. We all make tough choices and don’t need any guilt!
I shared mine, too!
NotJustBarbra’s last blog post..I made dinner
#80 by Deb (Missives From Suburbia) on March 12, 2008 - 7:10 PM
Ohh, Lotus! I am crying. You brought back so many memories.
Am I too late to join the carnival? I want to share!!!
Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..My Theory On the Common Cold
#81 by cesmathair on March 12, 2008 - 7:21 PM
Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your experience.
#82 by clickmom on March 13, 2008 - 5:17 AM
I hear you lotus- my Josh was born with food sensitivities and for a year I had to avoid at all costs, dairy, wheat, soy, pineapple, and of all things, rice! (Rice was an “irritant” to him) Even a touch of any of these foods and he was a crampy irritable mess with frightening vile poopies. (no blood though, that may have done me in)
I had a neighbor who had the same bleeding problem as you did and she had no problems with her second.
clickmom’s last blog post..not what it seemed
#83 by Hydes Like Us on March 13, 2008 - 8:42 AM
*sniff.
Hydes Like Us’s last blog post..The MTV Lifestyle
#84 by MyLifeasMomma on March 13, 2008 - 8:56 AM
wow. Your story was so heartbreaking. It really was. I am so glad I read it. I thought I was a failure and now I know that I was not alone. Breastfeding is hard and your story is so inspiring! Kudos to you!
Love your blog!
MyLifeasMomma’s last blog post..Can I just say I am SICK of politics?
#85 by Colleen on March 13, 2008 - 2:06 PM
just stopped over from Burgh Baby and Karen’s rocking pony…I was too lazy to re-post, but here’s a link to my story from October. The only follow-up was that I was half-forced into weaning Cooper last month when he had the flu and couldn’t breathe while he nursed…and screamed hysterically while trying to drink…only to pop off and scream hysterically again. I gave him a bottle and cried that his weaning wasn’t something a bit less anxiety-ridden.
here’s my post.
Colleen’s last blog post..Cooper’s 8-Month Birthday
#86 by Colleen on March 13, 2008 - 2:09 PM
oh, forgot to add…especially for any of those ladies out there who might now be afraid to BF:
I actually miss nursing my son. It was a nice calm time for us at the beginning and end of the day…I don’t get the same kind of calming hormones now and he doesn’t settle as easily as he did with breastmilk at bedtime. Plus, it was sure nice to not have to pay much for formula for a while.
Colleen’s last blog post..Cooper’s 8-Month Birthday
#87 by ame i on March 13, 2008 - 5:15 PM
My late husband was all for breast feeding (less work for him) but I was hesitant. The epidural failed right as my c-section was started (ouch in the nth degree!) and I was pumped full of so much morphine afterwards that I didn’t know my own name. The nurse came back to my room and said my baby was hungry, did I want to try to breast feed or should they give her a bottle. I told them to give her a bottle, more than half hoping that would keep her from wanting to breast feed. Nope! She took to the boob like a fish to water. She CRIED every time we tried to introduce a bottle, for 4 months!
My second daughter was wisked away from me (after VBAC delivery) because she had fluid in her lungs. After waiting a couple of hours for her to be returned to her rightful owner, I was informed that they had put an i.v. in her head (!) because her blood sugar was low. Of course it was. “We” missed our daily Hershey bar and Sprite because I was in labor.
I was afraid she wouldn’t want to nurse, but, like her sister, latched on right away. Unlike her sister, she took to the bottle very quickly, so I stopped giving one to her. My boobs were as big as my head, someone had to empty those things!
My girls are 8 and 10 and my boobs are saggy, but with a good Victoria’s bra, they are darn impressive if I do say so myself
#88 by coffeeyogurt on March 13, 2008 - 9:26 PM
What a heroic group of moms, here! And quite a heartwarming stroll down memory lane for me. I hope I manage to link correctly and I hope you all believe in “better late than never.” My story is that of a determined-to-breastfeed mom who reluctantly became a proud and proficient pumper and finally a rested, grateful formula feeding mom.
coffeeyogurt’s last blog post..four horsemen of marriage
#89 by RC on March 14, 2008 - 1:26 AM
I love this post, and really need to do my own of a similar nature one of these days.
I was fortunate that my Little Dude’s allergy did not cause blood in his stool, and that he gained weight beautifully, but it was also the reason he didn’t get diagnosed with his severe milk protein allergy until he was six months old.
Yes – for six months, I had been causing discomfort and pain to my Little Dude, through my love of cheese – something I thought was a good thing to have in my diet while I was breastfeeding.
I went dairy free after his diagnoses, but eventually, when we realized how much of a difference the soy formula made in his personality (and we just thought we had a slightly fussy baby, who didn’t like to sleep, and spit up a lot – we were even treating him for reflux, thinking the spitting up had to do with that), I gave up.
I’m thrilled that I had the six months of breastfeeding, plus the two additional months of breastfeeding/formual feeding before switching to formula alone, but at the same time, I feel a huge amount of guilt for having put him through pain his first six months.
I’m an advocate for breastfeeding, but at the same time, I’m very open-minded. It is more important that mom and baby be happy and healthy – if that comes through formula feeding, so be it.
RC’s last blog post..The Sick Report
#90 by HappyCampers on March 14, 2008 - 3:39 PM
While my bf story is textbook-easy and not much worth reading, THANK YOU for sharing your story & encouraging others to share theirs. Lactation consultants should share THESE stories…about the reality of breastfeeding, & I think the false expectations that new moms have, & the disapointment when it’s not PERFECT will be shattered. Give everyone a dose of reality, and we’ll know what we’re up against!!
HappyCampers’s last blog post..There Are Just Some Things That Can’t Be Done Alone!
#91 by HM on March 15, 2008 - 7:31 PM
Wow, what a difficult thing to go through.
Let me just say that I was VERY blessed in the breastfeeding department. Everything went beautifully- I had a week or so of sore nipples till I was brave enough to break suction to get him latched correctly, and I had to tickle his feet cause he kept falling asleep too quickly, but beautifully none the less. Plenty of milk, and a long happy breastfeeding relationship.
This story serves to reinforce to me just how blessed I was to be able to succeed at something that I took for granted at the time.
#92 by Tara on March 15, 2008 - 9:47 PM
I could’ve written your post myself after the birth of my first daughter. For different reasons, I couldn’t nurse her.
Her suck sucked (ha!…) and I had a terrible infection after delivery that just completely zapped me. After ten days of fighting tooth and nail to rid myself of infection and feeling like it was an uphill battle with her sucking with her tongue on the roof of her mouth, I finally gave up.
I pumped for awhile, but I hadn’t been at it awhile to establish much of a supply. And the time that I had been pumping, my system had been so compromised because of the infection I had that I just wasn’t able to give it my all.
I cried and cried…..More because I felt like I was failing her as a mother than because of all the other things going on.
I remember when I found out about my second pregnancy, one of the things I was most excited about was that I could give nursing another go! It went perfectly and we nursed for 22 months.
I just found your blog and love it!
~Tara
Tara’s last blog post..Random Thoughts
#93 by el-e-e on March 18, 2008 - 8:21 AM
You are so wonderful — thanks for posting your very encouraging story. I’m in the midst of nipple soreness right now and I just LOVE people who will support HOWEVER moms decide to feed their babies. Thank you!
el-e-e’s last blog post..Oh gosh, yes, we’re FINE
#94 by Kelly on March 24, 2008 - 11:09 AM
I know the story all too well. All I ever wanted to do was breastfeed my children. It took until my 3rd for it to finally “work.” And I bf’ed her until she told me “no more” at 2 years old. I’d do it again, too, if I were crazy enough to have another kid!
Kelly’s last blog post..Help…I need somebody…Help!
#95 by Joanne on April 6, 2008 - 10:13 PM
I just submitted a post on adoption and breastfeeding. Thank you.
Joanne’s last blog post..The Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act (FAFSA)
#96 by Sandy (Momisodes) on April 8, 2008 - 1:36 PM
I’m so glad you decided to re-post and do this carnival
I’m a big fat loser and didn’t prepare a post. But I did post a breastfeeding ‘moment’ of mine that I will always remember.
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..The Dairy Queen
#97 by Veronica on July 13, 2008 - 11:47 PM
Stumble stumble stumble….. OH WAIT! It’s Lotus!
Hehe, I always like to let people know when I get to their blog via stumbleupon.
Veronica’s last blog post..Articulation
#98 by Kate on July 16, 2008 - 4:00 PM
When I was pregnant with my first son, I really wanted to breastfeed. I had read lots of horror stories about bleeding nipples, pain, hunger, etc. I was a little nervous. He was born at 36 weeks and weighed 5lbs 2oz. He was fine…no breathing issues from being a little early. I started breastfeeding him when we got to our recovery room and it seemed easy enough and I was glad.
…Then came the lactation consultant. She was a girl about my age. She had never set eyes on Jacob or watched us breastfeed. However, she informed me that because he was so small he would not be able to breastfeed exclusively. I would have to pump every other feeding and give it to him in a bottle. I told her she could bring the pump but that I was not going to use it yet because he seemed fine. When she came back with the pump I was feeding him and she admired our latch. I still refused to use the pump.
Apparently this borders on abuse in their eyes? They sent me a much older lactation consultant. Her first words to me were, “Now, I know you think you know how to take care of your baby…” Without so much as glancing at my son she told me how I was going to starve him to death as a result of “non-nutritive sucking” At this point he was a day and half old and still seeming pretty ok to me. I listened patiently and told her that he started to seem uncomfortable I would consider the pump/bottle method but that for now I was going to continue breastfeeding. She left me to think on it.
The next time she came back she told me that I wasn’t allowed to leave until I agreed to her plan. Excuse me? Excuse me?! I managed to maintain some control but I was angry. I went through the following points with her:
1. You haven’t looked at my son or watched us breastfeed. So how can you claim to know anything about him?
2. He has the requisite number of wet and dirty diapers.
3. If he were going to suddenly die from this evil “non-nutritive sucking” then why would the pediatrician send him back to me with a pacifier?? Is the doctor trying to kill my son?
4. I will tell you what you need to hear to fill out whatever form you need to fill out but I am going to do things my way for as long as that works.
Long story short: Jacob was fine. We had a wonderful, easy breastfeeding relationship (until I went back to work) and he never starved to death. In fact by three months he was just below the 50th percentile for weight and remains there to this day (two years later).
#99 by Anon on July 28, 2008 - 9:49 AM
tl:dr
wow, you and your son/daughter are ugly
#100 by December on August 8, 2008 - 3:38 PM
Thank you for sharing the struggle. Your son is healthy and beautiful, and that is what matters.
#101 by MadameMeow on August 10, 2008 - 3:07 PM
Seriously… OMG… Anon is Anass….
There’s nothing ugly about either one of you! You are gorgeous, and your son is positively adorable! Borderline edible! ((Thank goodness I’m not a cannibal!))
I’m so sorry you had to go through so many breastfeeding issues…
It just goes to show how strong you really are…
#102 by Redneck Mommy on August 10, 2008 - 3:15 PM
Breastfeeding sucked for me. My daughter was a cannibal, more interested in chewing off my nipples than gently sucking. After a month, I gave up.
The second go round was much easier, it was so easy. I was looking forward to nursing the third time around, but that pesky little problem of a baby with a giant hole in the roof of the mouth as well as no swallow or sucky abilities just kinda killed that dream. So I pumped for nine months and pretended I was a jersey cow in a barn.
The things we go through for our children.
And Anon: You can suck my big hairy toe. There is nothing ugly about Lotus or Braden. Why don’t you try removing your head from your ass and you’ll find you see things much more clearly.
Redneck Mommys last blog post..Rubbing the Crystal Ball
#103 by missy wiggins on August 10, 2008 - 3:36 PM
Pardon my french anon but you are an effing dummy.
Get a life. It’s fun.
missy wigginss last blog post..Weekly Winners 8/3-8/9
#104 by chasingjoy on August 10, 2008 - 5:16 PM
“Ha! By that day, I didn’t give half a rat’s ass who saw my knockers.”
I’m a major prude myself but this is a great description of me at that time too. I probably had 5 different women squeezing my ta-tas at different times. On one occasion I had one LC on each side of me both touching the ta-tas at the same time with a squalling resistant infant in the middle. God that sucked, um, well, I guess that’s what it wasn’t doing!
I’m happy to report that we breastfed for 13 months with super easy weaning and I look forward to bfing Madilynn when she comes into the world in Oct.
Oh yeah, btw, you and your baby boy are gorgeous!
chasingjoys last blog post..16 Months Old Today
#105 by Rachael on January 1, 2009 - 3:15 PM
I just re-read this, and even though my son is now 2.5 years old, it still had me crying. I wasn’t able to breastfeed. My milk just never came in. Yet, giving up trying was so, so hard. I remember the heartache and the grief. Thanks for sharing yours.
Rachaels last blog post..Hopes, Wishes & Resolutions for the New Year