And thank YOU – everyone who visited and voted. We’ve raised a nice little chunk for Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, and remember that all July Blogher Ad Revenue will be donated, so keep visiting until the end of the month!

I’d also like to thank our fantastic sponsors:

Lingerie.com, Bare Necessities,  Eden Fantasys and NippleCharms.com

They care enough about bewbies to step up and make Bewb Fest ’10 even more fun and exciting with some great prizes, so please visit them and show them some love.

Our BEWBs Winner is: #33, Diane Bramos / @pilateschik

First Runner Up: #30, Angelia of Mommy Needs Meds

Second Runner Up: #05, Veronica of Veronica Foale

And because all bewbies deserve a chance at a prize for being brave enough to bounce on the web:

Wild-Card Winner: #36, MommyNamedApril of April’s Little Family

Wild Card Winner is drawn using the random integer generator from the pool of those left after Winner, 1st RU & 2nd RU were identified by the results of the poll.

MEWBS Winner is: #04, Coderblues

***

There, now wasn’t that fun?  YES, YES IT WAS.

And please remember that ALL JULY Blogher Ad Revenue will be donated to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, so *please* keep visiting until the end of the month!

And stay tuned for me to talk about how you can be reminded of next year’s Bewb Fest in time to submit your entry, as well as my pledge to raise money and run in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure in Austin, TX this November!

<3BEWBS

What, you think that’s weird? You’re just jealous. You wish your eyeballs were tasty and delicious, like mine.

But guess what? I like you so much I’ll let you lick my eyeballs.
And this is why you should vote for me as Best Eye Candy Blog. Every day even!

Tomorrow, they could taste like Nerds, Smarties, or even Twizzlers.

So vote for me because you love Gobstoppers and Snickers, Sprees, Laffy Taffy, and Blow Pops.

Or because you think this blog is visually appealing?

Or just because you like me.

Dawn is the owner of the Fabulous Rack (BEWBS!) that all of you wonderful readers voted as best.

CONGRATULATIONS, DAWN!

Official Acceptance Speech From Dawn:

I’d like to thank the academy of wonderful Sarcasticmom.com readers who voted for me, my husband for always offering to hold mah bewbs for me when the load is too heavy, my son for encouraging me to carry him all the time to build my arm muscles, I’d like to thank God for um … blessing? …. me with porn star dimensions naturally, I’d like to thank contestant #12 for giving me such a run for my money – I voted for you, you HAWT thing! and finally, (music plays …) I’d like to thank my Panache Tango II Superbra for supporting me all these years! Thank You All!

Let’s not forget our 2 fabulous runners up!  Congratulations, BEWBS Ladies!

Second Place: Nikki, Secrets of a Black Heart

Third Place: Tena, My Therapy

Now, I may be a total assbrain for so many reasons, they would not even fit on this page to think it would be a prize for someone to guest post here.  But I’d love to harass these three fine ladies into guest posting… you know, so that we can get to know them a bit more now that you have all given them accolades for their, um, obvious endowments.

What do you say?  Let’s get to know the BRAINS behind our winning BEWBS!

An honorable mention goes to a sweet, sassy, and silly friend of mine, Angie, who didn’t want to be considered since she’s not officially blogging yet.  Instead, she just wanted to send me her Bouncin’ Preggo BEWBS just for fun.  Everyone needs a friend like that, right?

Here’s her Rack:

On to the next bit of BEWBS Business.  (Have you noticed yet how much I like to type, “BEWBS?”)

There was a slight BEWB Mishap in putting together the Best Chest Voting Post.  EEEEK!

These BEWBS got lost in my inbox!

And these BEWBS got eaten by my website’s Spam Filter!

It is SO very sad when BEWBS lose their way. *sniff*

In order to make it up to these BEWBS, I’m offering “You Didn’t Even Have A Chance, And That’s Not Fair!” consolation prizes to their owners.  Each will receive a Brookstone Floating Photo Frame.

How does it work?

It’s Magic, Dummy. Just like a fine rack.

Last bit of BEWBS Business (for now):

These BEWBS…

…made me laugh so.very.much.

And the fabulous woman (“Mr. Lady“) who owns them has so many creative words of wonderfulness and hilarity on a regular basis that if you’re not subscribed to her website, you are missing out, and should go over there and do that.  Now.

For veritably choking me with laughter when I saw her last minute entry into the Best Chest Contest, I am going to give the owner of those BEWBS what she needs.  A T-Shirt.

A John Carroll T-Shirt.

Kudos to the designer

These are no longer manufactured, baby, so that’s a collectors item.

Thank you again to all the wonderful contestants who were willing to humor me and entertain you by submitting their upper torsos!  You guys rock!

Sleepless Nights
Frog Ponds Rock
Memarie Lane
Growing A Pair
beggar’s shot glass
The Busy Dad Blog
mommycosm
Adam’s Wife’s Weblog
Immoral Matriarch
calicobebop
Special K
Secrets of a Black Heart
Mommy Is Moody
From Here To There
My Therapy
Lilac Colored Glasses
My Life as a Hotfessional
Alex Year Two
Firecracker Mom!
Cyberbones
Draco’s Rose
Knitting Without Needles
Pictures Taken By Me
Welcome to Married Life
shamelessly sassy
Redefining Perfect
Whiskey In My Sippy Cup

Keep yourself abreast (*teehee*) of all that’s happening with The Travelling T-Shirt by subscribing to Lightning Online!

And to the BEWB haters, *gasp!* don’t worry…  I’ll start writing actual non-BEWB posts again soon.

Apparently the answer is, “Yes, yes I am.”

Some time ago (October 17th) Dawn was being all generous and gave me this award:

And I have to say it’s not often I get recognized for anything having to do with BEING NICE.

(Most of the time it’s my ultra anger and quick temper, sarcastic comments and snide remarks, or snarky attitude and violent tendencies that tend to get noticed. In a not good way.)

So, that’s special, and stuff. And it means I have her properly fooled. Perhaps it’s time to get her drunk and really take advantage of her tender feelings towards me? Hm.

I, in turn, am giving the lovely award/button-thingy to:
Amanda, because she is often nice when I couldn’t be,
Karleigh, because she considers it a blessing to know my family! Wow.
Anna, because she always leaves me such sweet comments.

Put these on your myspace blogs or pages or something, or I’ll hunt you down and rip off yer faces.
Oh, that wasn’t very nice, was it? Hm. Well, I already got the award, so HAHA!

*******

In what I can only liken to a drug-dealer feeding a first-timer his first several hits of coke, Veronica keeps giving me BUTTONS!

(Don’t stop, don’t stop… right in that vein, oh yeah….)

This one claims that I’m a Blogging Star. I always knew I was hot stuff!

Check out its shiny-goodness:

Oh, yeah, and this was on Veronica’s post about it, so I’ll put it here as well… don’t want anyone giving me death threats later for not following rules of some sort… or something like that.
The Blogging Star was created by Barb of Skittles’ Place, who says:
This award is for bloggers who shine their light throughout the Blogosphere. Some do it with humor, others with creativity, and others with their kind and thoughtful natures. We all know more than a few of them so why not give them some recognition?
Here’s what to do if you receive this:
* Proudly display it on your blog along with a link to who gave it to you.
* Mention that it originated here at Skittles’ Place so I can follow its journey.
* Pass it on to any blogger(s) you think should have it.


And I’d like to pass this one on to one of my very best friends, Sarah Porter, who has been blogging her freaking heart out since before I ever even knew her.

She started off on her Myspace blog, and now has a lovely blogsite, imaginary binky.

Her posts are funny, intelligent, and always entertaining. Go read her, subscribe to her feeds, and love on her with many comments, please.

Also, apparently, I’m a “Treat!”

What? You didn’t know?

Well, I am. A Sweet, Yummy Treat. So there.

And here’s proof…

WorksForMom went and gave me some bling just for loving on her words.

Now, if I could just be covered in nuts… wait, let’s not finish that thought.

I’ve had so many great new commenters lately, and I freakin’ LOVE all of you, man.

But who’s been ‘treating’ me to LOTS of ego petting lately? The really special kind?

Well, Secret Agent Mama and Heidi Hyde are definitely getting this one.

SAM’s my self-appointed “Stalker McStalkerson” (you crack me up, woman) and HH claims to have a crush on me. Advertises it on her site! I couldn’t be happier.

She recently posted her 100th post! Learn all about her by reading it.

I officially love her all day and night for that.

For all of you out there who may also be really, really ridiculously good looking bloggers, please remember, “Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”

Words to live by.

*******

Who woulda thunk it?

*******

I received this shiny award from Rhonda for being damn funny. Yes, I know it doesn’t say, “damn” anywhere on it. I’m taking creative license.

Thanks, Rhonda! It’s nice to know that nowadays, people aren’t just laughing AT me because I’m a stupid dork, but they are actually sometimes laughing WITH me!

You know who else is damn funny? Bill Gathen has been making me laugh my freaking ass off lately. This guy is hilarious, and his writing is witty and intelligent. Go forth and read him. Subscribe to his words and love them. You will be glad you did.

She gets stuff. You know? I *heart* her, lots.

Can I give this back to you, Dawn? Heh.

I guess not, but the person I would like to give this to is someone else who’s been supporting me ever since I left the HOLE that is the Myspace Blog and come out into the real blog world:

***********

Thanks for all the bling, you amazing, loving folks!

Check out where I store all my bling… BUTTON MADNESS!

*************

And, after all that, You get my list of:

13 Blogs That I Read and You Should, Too:
(I didn’t include those that I have already linked in this post, but those are A GIVEN, PEOPLE)

1. Antique Mommy
2. Attack of the Redneck Mommy
3. Bub and Pie
4. Daring Young Mom
5. Dooce
6. Fabulous Mommy Fussypants
7. Frog and Toad are Still Friends
8. Joy Unexpected
9. Letter9
10. Oh, The Joys
11. Playgroups Are No Place For Children
12. Toddled Dredge
13. Velveteen Mind

Wanna see more Thursday Thirteen?

Only kidding!

But she did give me another button that makes me smile all big and toothy:

If you give me chocolates next, Veronica, I’m going to know something’s up.