Self Portrait

  • to grow freely. like the flowers.

     it is ok
     to let go of anger
     to quietly forgive those 
     who hurt you in the past
     this is a gift -
     for you. not for them.
     to step out of resentment
     to release yourself
     from the shackles
     of disappointment 
     to be alive inside your skin,
     again.
     to grow freely. like the flowers.
     rising up to the sunlight
     stretching out tall
     feeling hope flood in.
     remembering what it feels like
     to move smoothly,
     exist in the world
     without the burden
     of pain riding your shoulders
     to be weightless. in the best way.
     go on. fly free.
     it is ok.

    ©lotuscarroll2013
    Image & Text All Rights Reserved No use allowed without a license. For image licensing inquiries, email me directly. thelotuscarroll@gmail.com
  • quantum heart murmurs

    a few yesterdays ago
    in the hours between the deepest of night
    and the rising warmth of the sun,
    when i was feeling how heavy
    the weight of forgetting is,
    i wrote you a letter.

    it holds all of the secrets
    i wanted you to know about my heart,
    and the way that you left things
    like the scattering of leaves
    after a storm that never
    showed up on anyone’s radar.

    it tells the story of how many nights
    i held your shape in the dark with my soul,
    waiting,
    and the way that i could make my breath
    actually say your name even when i held it.

    i wrote about the way that the moon
    reminds me of the shiniest part inside of me
    that you found and then stole
    but that somehow still lights my way home
    when i feel alone.

    when i was done with the damp pages,
    i folded it into a tiny, star-shaped heart
    and carefully postmarked it
    to a future you, who may or may not
    someday care.

    a few yesterdays ago

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  • silhouette of a young boy's head in profile against the setting sun

    how to: silhouette photography / self portraiture

    a couple in stark silhouette against a black and white horizon over beachSometimes you can say just as much, or even more, with the suggestion of a thing as you can with all of its details. This is true of silhouette photography – a genre that can be alarmingly beautiful and expressive. If you’ve never shot silhouettes, you may be wondering how to achieve this look. It’s fairly simple to get the basics down. From there, you can let your creativity run wild.

    The Basics:

    The most important thing to remember is that your subject should not be well lit from the front. In addition, there should be a significant light source in the background.

    The subject is whatever you want forming the silhouette. In the case of self portraiture, this subject is you. We want to reduce lighting from the front because we want to obscure most of the detail – this is what creates an outline, or silhouette.

    There are many ways to obtain this, from studio lighting to sunlight. Sunsets provide an amazing backdrop for silhouettes. They are pure, simple, and beautiful. Play around to see what you can achieve.

    Once you’ve identified a subject and have a backlight, attend to camera settings. Expose the image for the backlight, rather than the subject. This way, your subject will be very dark, creating an outline with little detail from the front.

    Voila! This is the basic formula for silhouette photography.

    How To: Silhouette Photography / Self Portraits, Lotus Carroll
    Sunsets and sunrises make an absolutely excellent, beautiful light source for silhouettes!

    A few things to remember:

    • create distinct, clean shapes with your silhouette subject(s)
    • try to reduce excessive clutter or multiple other confusing shapes in the image unless they add to the “story” you want it to tell
    • avoid foreground lighting
    • identify or set up a significant source of back lighting
    • no one formula for camera settings is perfect. the strength of your light will dictate what you’ll need, so experiment
    • don’t forget to pay careful attention to scene setting and composition, as with all photos, once you get the technique down
    • for self portrait silhouette photography, you will find the following tools incredibly helpful: remote/intervalometer, tripod

    Here are some examples of silhouette self portraits I’ve created, with some basic information you can review.

    silhouette of a person dancing behind a screen
    You don’t have to have advanced lighting tools – for this image, I literally stood in front of my desk with my computer display on a white screen so it glowed strongly behind me in a dark room. My camera was on the other side of this “room divider” screen shooting towards me as I posed.

    up close silhouette of a woman's face in profile
    Diffused sunlight through a curtain into a dark room provided the backlighting for this face silhouette self portrait. To get the most dramatic shapes, make sure things like a face are turned to show all the important outlining features.

    silhouette of a woman's upper body with arms raised and stretched out to either side above her, in front of window blinds
    Again, window lighting in a dark room is the source of the backlighting here. The blinds also fall into silhouette, creating an interesting pattern in the image.

    Of course, rules are meant to be broken, and you can play around with the basic setup and then go beyond it, tweaking things in so many ways to create different kinds of photos.

    Here, there is obviously a lot going on, so the silhouette is clean, and there is “clutter.” But it’s interesting clutter, and adds to the mood:

    reflective silhouette on glass with dark city beyond, lit by city lights
    A doozy: reflection silhouette self portrait, at night, inside the top of the tallest building in Austin, TX. Lights behind me inside are backlighting my image as I shoot into the glass against the dark (but for city lights) night.

    You can also adjust lighting on the subject to create “near-silhouette” images. Some details of the subject are lit and visible, while others are dark, as with the following self portrait.

    near silhouette of woman from behind with her head turned in profile in front of window blinds, black and white
    The back lighting from the window and relative dark behind me creates silhouetting, while light spill from the downturned blinds gently illuminates the side of my face, arm, and hair.

    Go forth, find the light, and create silhouettes.

    To license images or text commercially, please email.