Saturday, August 4th was an incredibly fun day for me at the conference. I was still riding the high of having presented at the Photography ROYO the day before. I got up and enjoyed the Photo Editing ROYO with Amy, Pauline, and Ryan, and then slipped away to chill out before a photo walk with Mishelle.
Mishelle is a very special person to me, and I was so happy that we had the chance to carve out a little time to walk together and take photographs. I forgot what it was like to walk around near Central Park in NYC – there is no shortage of dudes wanting to take you on carriage tours or bike rides.
DO YOU WANT TO TOUR THE CITY, HUH HUH DO YA DO YA?
Tour the city by carriage, the best way to see everything and not get tired!
Come on, best tour available!
Special rate, just for you!
Hahahaha. Blow me, dude, I said no, I meant no, and now, I’m walking away.
Special saunter, just for you.
After the walk we came back to the hotel and hit the keynote, cleaned up, and then (with the help of Twitter to choose a restaurant) Dawn, Mishelle, Rachel and I walked to (the fabulous) Pazza Notte for dinner.
This photo montage shows you my photos from the day, our photo walk, and dinner shots.
Oh, by the way… did you know that your Central Park experience is totally enhanced by doing pilates moves? Really.
Yup, you’re going to have to go back now.
Tomorrow? SPARKLECORN AND CHEESEBURGHER! Woot.
Today, please enjoy viewing two more video montages. These are both from August 6th, the first full conference day.
This video gives you a glance at our Photography ROYO attendees (mad love!), and then goes straight into eventing affairs, with the Blogher Voices of the Year Gala. Please don’t miss the hotness that is Jenny (onthespot) kicking Karaoke’s ass with “Ice, Ice Baby” (the inspiration for the soundtrack here).
And please excuse the fact that ONCE AGAIN I felt the need to take a photo of myself in a bathroom mirror. I really should just have a category on my website called “Dorky Bathroom Photos of Loter”
(sorry about the skipping, apparently I suck.)
Did you notice how the hotel converted men’s bathrooms into women’s bathrooms, since there was so much estrogen up in that muthatrucka? Lemme tell ya, it’s quite enchanting to pull back a shimmery, royal blue curtain in the bathroom and discover mystical porcelain framed waterfalls! Oooooh. Ahhhhh.
On a related note, I want to formally apologize to Jenny (thebloggess) for getting urinal water on her right after this shot (of us with our favorite blogging friend, I. Holden Pee). I swear I don’t make a point of splashing water that flows from pee receptacles on people I like. Well, unless they say something totally assholish to me. While I’m near a pee receptacle. But she didn’t. So, I’m sorry.
The next video makes me so very happy when I watch it. Maria and her husband and friends arranged a crazy Karaoke party at this place called Duets. I had no idea places like this existed, but it was some kind of insane joint filled with rooms people can geek out in with their friends, Karaoke style.
Also, alcohol. So, you know, perfect storm.
Stay tuned for more! Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing shots from the second conference day, my photo walk with Mishelle, and dinner before the parties.
On Friday, I’ll be sharing the Big Kahuna – shots from The Sparklecorn and Cheeseburgher parties. Holy Slammin’ Party Shots, Batman!
**holy shit at all the Jennies in this post.
I arrived in New York on Wednesday, August 4th, and was uber pleased to meet Dawn and Adam at the airport. The rest of the afternoon/evening/night was random hanging out with various people, such as Jenny and Jules. And fun times. Fueled, of course, by alcohol.
And here are photos from my first full day in New York – Thursday, August 5th. A lot of randomness, Dawn, Aiming Low Gals, way too many photos of me in the mirror (somebody stop me from taking photos in bathrooms, please?) and then the Social Luxe Lounge and Nikon Night Out Parties. Whew!
*Firemen courtesy of Nikon. Thank you Nikon. Lawdy.
(By the way, the videos don’t stutter or skip once locally on my computer. Thank YouTube for any craptastic viewing issues. Grrr. And Argh.)
Stay tuned! Tomorrow I’ll slap down photos from August 6th, the first full day of the conference, plus the Blogher Voices of the Year Gala, The Aiming Low EZPZ Party, and a badass Karaoke party at Duets! *insert drunken wooooo! sound here*
One of the things I was hugely excited about this year at the conference was being on a panel of photographers presenting a ROYO (“Room of Your Own” Session) about how to take great photos. Rachel and Mishelle are both amazing artists in their trade and I was so honored to be there with them. Beside the fact that they are both huge inspirations to me, I absolutely adore both of these women on a very personal level too. What a gift to connect with them for this event!
We worked hard for weeks to get our presentation just right, hoping we could fit the best information into the time and medium allotted. I’ll leave it to you all to decide if we were truly successful, but I have to tell you that it felt right and I got a sense that it went very well. (Squee.)
Here you will find the slideshow we used during our presentation, as well as the audio from the actual session right below it. You can listen and go along with the presentation. You’re only missing seeing us sit behind a desk full of wires and cameras and laptops, with microphones pinned to our bewbie areas. (Also, if anyone tries to pass on a rumor that I picked my nose during the presentation, that is a lie. I repeat, a filthy lie.)
I hope you enjoy! And if you have any questions, feel free to hit me up.
Click to play audio:
During the time that I’ve been blogging and utilizing social media networking sites, I’ve virtually met quite a lot of people. Many of them have impacted me in some profound way without even realizing it. I’ve been hurt a few times, moved to laughter as well as tears, and been inspired and humbled.
I’ve made some wicked good friends. I’ve been reminded of how many amazing people exist out there, if only you look… kind, caring, generous people. The sort of folks you love to see in the world.
If you’ve ever seen Piper, you’ll know that she shines like the sun and you can’t miss her.
And then you can’t stop yourself from doing a double-take and a triple-take. And when you get to know her, you realize that her beauty starts from the inside and radiates outward. She’s one of those people.
A group of her friends online want to help her. She needs funds for a new car, and to pick herself up and move on with her two sweet boys. So a giveaway of sorts has been thrown together by several of us and Adam was awesome enough to get it organized and posted on his site.
Basically, you donate $10 to the pot to help Piper back to her feet, and you get a chance at winning a prize. The Grand Prize is an 8GB Ipod Touch, but there are several others.
I donated handmade paper as one of the items:
You can head over to Adam’s Post to see the specifics and the rest of the items you could win. Please make your $10 donation and stay tuned! (And if you’d like to donate an item, he has instructions on how to do so there, as well.)
Help us get the word out by sharing this giveaway on Twitter, Facebook, and wherever else you can.
Let’s pick her up, guys. Let’s each be one more of those people we love to see in the world.
<rambling post of awesomeness>
I have had way too much fun lately. In fact, I told John that I was pretty sure I’m going to die soon and this is The Universe’s way of saying, “Oh, hey, sorry about that…” ahead of time. A lot of times The Universe is a total dickhead, but I can imagine that maybe sometimes it gets bummed out about what a shit it is and tries to be cool to you to make up for it.
It’s kind of like how I pretend to be nice to John every once in a while when I realize I’ve been a total hole for months on end. Cause, you know, a few hours of not actually saying anything derogatory and smiling a lot can make up for endless weeks of torture and passive aggressive quips blended with just out and out aggressive combativeness and demanding, controlling, and manipulative domestic behavior.
God help him if he complains though; then I’m all, “DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE TIME THAT I HANDED YOU A NAPKIN WHEN YOUR FACE WAS DIRTY? I BLEED FOR YOU, INGRATE.”
Or something. But, basically, I know not to push The Universe and all, because it’s just doing the best it can, damnit. Ya dig?
So. Yeah. The Universe is clearly trying to be nice to me because it feels bad about my impending doom.
Either that or it is going to plan such a fiery, explosive and painful ending for me that getting me all complacent and mellow first will make things that much funnier for the bastard when it all goes down. The Universe is probably sitting in a dark room rubbing his hands together, and he’s all, “This stupid bitch has NO IDEA what’s in store for her, man. It.is.going.to.be.EPIC. I am totally going to photograph the look on her face and Twitpic it when she gets hers. MUAHAHAHAH.”
Um. Wow, The Universe just went from being a maybe, kind-of dickhead to a completely sadistic psychopath in my mind. I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve been into the caffeine again. Also the wine. Maybe a little of the blow powdered sugar.
What the hell was the point of this post? Oh, yeah. I’ve been having fun lately – making new friends in our neighborhood, going out with girls I actually like, and generally, well, not being locked in my house like a socially inept, loser ho-bag.
That is, I’ve been pretending I’m not a socially inept, loser ho-bag, and nobody is on to the deception yet, so clearly I am up for the next Academy Award. (note to self: do not marry Jesse James any time soon)
Last Wednesday, in another installment of Happy Fun Times I Should Feel Guilty About (don’t worry, I got mine) I went to an Open House at Beleza Medspa with some lady friends: Blythe (Aka @Bejewell) and Leigh. We needed to learn about ways you can change what nature does to your body, and instead, make it all fake and HOT.
Apparently, Blythe and Leigh were getting drunk for free while they were waiting for me to arrive late (people start drinking to cope with the fact that they miss me, I’m that awesome) (either that or they drink to cope with the fact that I’m about to arrive) and once I got there, we went to a back room to find out about the process of having your facial skin turned from haggarific to Goddess Sheen of Awesometasticness.
This process is also known, to lesser degree, as Let’s Burn Your Ugly Face Off. You’ll only have to hide in a cave for about 4-6 days while all the skin flakes off as if you have some horrible and contagious disease. But after that? YOU WILL BE BEAUTIFUL. It’s a metamorphosis. You have to let your inner butterfly out… by KILLING THE SHIT OUT OF THAT CATERPILLAR we like to call your real face.
I kind of started getting scared as we were led down a hallway to a back room. Partly because we were walking in the opposite direction of the free wine, but also because I was worried about what was really about to happen. What if we ended up in a deep well being told “it puts the lotion on its skin?” IS THIS HOW THEY REALLY GET THE NEW SKIN THEY PROMISE TO PEOPLE?
It turns out we were just going to hang out with Nathan in a small room, drink, act like complete morons and listen to him tell us about all the products he could sell to us that are totally made of Fairy Dust and Unicorn Shit, and will therefore MAGICALLY MAKE YOU PRETTY. The before and after photos were really impressive, especially the one where the woman was definitely dead in the before photo and was just about to receive the crown for Miss America in the after photo.
What I’m saying is that this stuff that comes in a 1oz bottle and costs only slightly more than a new car (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating JUST A LITTLE BIT) will totally bring you back from the dead.
I bet Jesus used it. I mean, have you seen photos of him? His skin was far too lovely for a 30 something who was out in the raging sun without SPF all the time. Also, you know damn well that he was wearing color contacts – blue eyes, MY ASS. Easter should really be celebrated by rubbing expensive liquid shit on your face. (Or hiding colored eggs, maybe, because we all understand how that has anything to do with Jesus.)
After we annoyed Nathan for some time by making sex jokes, asking if he could just make us pretty and skip all the intelligent, scientific explanations and photos, and just all around being obnoxiously hilarious, Nathan rubbed random products on us. I’m not sure exactly why, maybe to prove that it wouldn’t melt our skin on contact? We giggled a lot and then smelled it. Don’t you smell everything that a strange man rubs on your skin in the back room of a place where they ply you with alcohol and ask you for your personal information the moment you arrive? No?
Well, I don’t get you at all.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that we were the most awesome people who were there that night, as evidenced by:
- our inability to just listen to Nathan, rather, interrupting every few seconds to make drunken jokes
- Blythe making her fingers kiss and say “I do” when Nathan put eye cream on them
- Leigh commenting about the hookers we were going to pick up later (what?)
- my responding to Nathan’s question about our lifestyle habits by saying (in a very charming manner, I’ll have you know) “I don’t smoke, my diet is good, I use SPF, but I drink LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!!!, is that bad?”
- the fact that we considered just shoving the product in our purses and RUNNING LIKE HELL
- our inability to get more than 2 feet away from the place without loudly proclaiming over the Size XXL lips on Mega Procedures Woman (I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. I mean, really, your lips are NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LARGER THAN YOUR ASS.)
Of course, then we went to a restaurant and ordered more drinks, because we were clearly far too sober to exist and more alcohol was necessary. Of course, just as we were all having the best time EVER I got this image as a text message from John:
at which time I immediately starting crying right into the nachos and possibly Blythe’s Margarita as well. There may have been snot on the fried green beans when it was all over. In case you were wondering, being notified of your child bashing his head apart all over your favorite Chik-Fil-A is just about the best way you can SOBER YOUR ASS RIGHT UP.
Leigh was all, “Uh, uh, I have to go pee!” and almost knocked the table over as she ran uncomfortably away, and Blythe was mostly like, “OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.” Later, we all decided that John was a total shit for sending me that image with no text attached, and we all plotted his death.
[Watch your back, dude. These bitches don't play.]
Have I mentioned that I love Blythe and Leigh? No? Well, I do. They’re beyond awesome.
As we were leaving the restaurant, Blythe was all “I know you bitches are tipsy, neither of you has any kind of sense of direction, and you don’t really know where you are, but I hope you get home somehow, love ya, mean it” and dumped us in the parking lot and took off laughing. I was totally feeling like I might want to marry her right in that moment, and I’m sure you can understand those deep feelings.
And when Leigh was taking me home and suddenly said, “OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, A PEACOCK?!” I knew that she is just classy enough to be my new crush. (But yes, it was a fucking peacock. Have I not told you about the peacocks that live right by us? No? Well, guess what. Peacocks. Right across the street. And they are LOUD. There. Now you know.)
I am a little pissed off, in retrospect, because the whole reason I went to Burn Your Facial Skin Off So You Can Be Prettier Palace was so I could learn about having lasers shot at my armpits and vaginal area. And NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT LASER BOMBING MY HAYHAY.
So, in summation:
- The Universe is a dick but at least it throws you a bone every now and then.
- The Universe is a dick and it will smash your kid’s head in while you’re having fun.
- Your lips should never be larger than your ass. NO, REALLY. (If they are, I DEMAND you start sitting on your face.)
- My cooter is still in need of laser action.
- Jesus wore color contacts and used skin care products.
- My blood is probably at least 90 Proof.
- John should really be sleeping with his pistol under his pillow.
- Blythe and Leigh = awesome and I might have sex with them some day while a peacock watches.
So, how have you all been lately?
</rambling post of awesomeness>
While enjoying a sunshiny day at a local Texas park last week, I made a tragic discovery. Like a train wreck, it both repulsed and attracted me.
We have a Peep down, people.
I repeat, PEEP DOWN.
Oh, the humanity.
The mushy, sticky, crunchy sweet goodness of this Peep will never be enjoyed by one of its many adoring fans. A moment of silence, please.
This post is dedicated, with love and gentle solace, to Megan, who may be the world’s greatest champion of Peeps and the first person I thought of when I made this tragic discovery. I know she will weep at this injustice.
Every purplish flower I see makes me think of her.
I seem to see them all nowadays.
She just can’t stop making the world brighter, no matter what. This website is purple for her during April.
We remember you, Maddie.
Lotus, John, & Braden