Hidden treasures in my phone.
- At July 25, 2008
- By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
- In Haiku, Love, My Son, Parenting, Poetry
41
Was actually
thinking about not posting
at all on Friday.
Just not feeling like
it really. I vomited
my soul yesterday.
So what’s left today?
Then browsing my phone’s photos…
felt compelled to share.
Here are some photos
taken with my phone since B
was born. Such treasures.
In the hospital, day after birth. (10.17.06)
Grin
March 30, 2007
Cutesie
Just like Momma.
Just like Daddy. (04.28.07)
Lookin’ good together. (10.21.07)
Baring it all. (11.14.07)
Jammin’ a nanner. (11.18.07)
Bathing with a buddy. (12.05.07)
Evil car nap. (12.18.07)
Being his silly self. Such long hair! (02.09.08)
There are many more,
to be sure, but I will spare
you further photos.
These hidden treasures
are there to be found when we
seem to need them most.
My Wiggle Bean
- At December 15, 2007
- By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
- In Love, My Son, Parenting, Photohunt, Pregnancy
- 25
Theme for December 15th, 2007: “Small”
March, 21 2006. The first time we ever saw Braden James Carroll. And he was, indeed, very small – about an inch long. The picture says,”9 weeks, 2 days.” That is actually the time since the start of the last period I had had at the time. It had actually been 7 weeks and 2 days since Braden had been conceived.
He was not even a full 2 months old. Just 7 weeks. And his little heart was beating. I saw it.
Seeing my son for the first time since I had learned that he was alive inside of me was an experience which sparked a feeling in me that I cannot find the words to describe. Such emotion washed over me as to literally take my breath away. It was something like having a part of your brain and your soul that was dead for your whole life just suddenly awakening and coming to life.
He did a little wiggly, squirmy dance for us while we were looking at him. From that day on, we called him “Wiggle Bean.”
I thank God for my Wiggle Bean. No matter how big he gets, I will always remember how he was once so small, and yet he was more important to me than the whole world. And always will be.
Photo Hunt, #3: I Love _______
Theme for November 17th, 2007: “I Love _______.”
I think the answer here is obvious. Cheese.
Haha, just kidding. It’s John & Braden, of course.
This photo holds the 2 most important parts of my life. These guys are the reason why I get up in the morning, and they keep me going every day (boy, do they ever). They both make me laugh even when I think there’s no laughter left. Each of them can push my buttons and frustrate me like no other: A sign of true love. I dream of them while I slumber, and when I’m awake in the middle of the night, alone, I miss them both.
Cheese was a close second, though.
Wanna see more Photo Hunt?
The Best Gig
Nothing else from the day, or any past day was in my heart. Nothing else danced through my mind. Complete solace, and the feeling of tender love and total rightness of being just sat with me.
My eyes were closed and I could feel Braden’s sweet baby breath on my neck. His little arm was wrapped firmly around my neck, making me feel loved and important. As the sounds of his breathing and the soft, sweet murmurs of baby sleep drifted up to my ears, I opened my eyes and looked down at his sleepy little head.
One of those big, fat boulders of emotion that you never see coming before it’s too late rolled and crashed right into my face.
My heart swelled. My mind tripped over itself. My chin trembled a little. And my eyes got teary.
I was thinking of something John said to me weeks ago. When he said it, I really understood. But when I thought of it in that situation, I really felt it, too.
He came out of Braden’s room, after putting him down for the night. He said, “I just looked down at him, while he was sleeping in my arms, and I felt so much love for him. I thought all of a sudden that God must have held Jesus like this once, before He gave him up for us. I couldn’t do that! I couldn’t give Braden up. I love him too much. That’s how much He loves us.”
It was very poignant.
And I sat in that dark room and thought about this warm body I held to my chest. I thought of the blessing of this child in my life, and of the many others I am allowed to experience daily. And I felt humbled, and grateful.
I often write about the aggravations of motherhood. Mostly, I’m just trying to vent about the reality of being a parent, and hope that I’m putting enough of a humorous spin on things to get some laughs. I hope you’re laughing… and if you’re a parent, that you’re nodding.
Don’t let any of it fool you, though.
This is the best gig I’ve ever been lucky enough to land.
The Boys Are Back In Town
And do you know how freaking happy I am about that?
John’s been gone since October 28th, and it has SUCKED. He is regularly out and about in the country with Chris Cagle, so it’s not like I’m not used to this sort of thing (being used to it doesn’t mean I ever have to like it).
This stint apart was just pretty poopariffic, because he had just gotten home from a trip where he missed my birthday (damnit!) and then he had to leave on the very same day to go galavanting around the country again, playing his funky music, white boy.
Show up and then leave on the same day? Can you say TEASER? Ugh.
At least we got to have a family fun day @ Honeysuckle Hill Farm. A place I highly recommend you visit if you live in or around the Nashville, TN area, btw. (There’s some more stalker info for you depraved lunatics. But it’s not like it’s not on my profile anyway. Okay, so that was more stalker info for the LAZY, depraved lunatics.)
By the way, if you also missed my birthday (October 27), it’s not too late to send chocolates and flowers, and any money you find lying around. And mark your calendars for next year, so you can throw me a big party like you meant to this year. It’s okay, I can wait another year. Just make it good.
As for my “wahwaahhh, I miss my husband” whining – I know there are ladies out there who have to miss their Loves for much longer at a time than I do… but I’m being self-centered here (haha, when am I not? This entire PAGE IS ABOUT ME).
This man does things like send me this:
For no reason at all. The note said, “Just thought this would brighten your day.”
!!!!!
And he rubs my feet at least once a day when he’s home. HE RUBS THEM AND DOESN’T COMPLAIN. I don’t know about you, but that’s GOLD to me.
And he’s patient. And funny. And he thinks I’M funny.
And he changes all the diapers, and does bath and bedtime when he’s home.
And, you know… there are other things. *blush* We won’t talk about that. I may have mentioned before that “enigma” is a favorite word of mine. 
Speaking of favorite words…
When I so unexpectedly stumbled across this man 6 years ago, I had no idea what a blessing he’d be in my life. I had no idea how much I’d enjoy torturing him with my maddening, evil, depricating humor… and that he’d just smile and laugh. (He just looks at me and says, “You’re sick.” *pause* “I like you.”) What the heck is wrong with him?
I had no idea that we would begin a journey of winding roads and valleys together… there have been bumps in the road, and the valleys get deep sometimes… but they make the smooth roads and the mountain peaks so much more fulfilling and noticeable. So much more alive.
I had no idea that he’d be the person I could be more compassionate to than I ever imagined I could be, and all because he himself has made me want to be a better person, lover, wife, and mother so many times.
When I was a little girl, I had a favorite book, “Serendipity.”
The book introduced me to the word, and I thought it sounded magical, and I felt powerful in secret ways when I would whisper it quietly in an empty room. It would almost tickle my tongue, and give me this little trembling feeling in my soul. I loved that word, and I never really knew why.
Waking for Braden
Last night I awoke, at about 4:30 am, to mildly-annoyed-baby-whine sounds. Listening to the monitor intently for a moment, tapping into that special Baby Sound Meanings-Deciphering Super Power us mommies have, I decided Braden must be half asleep, but missing his paci.Sometimes, the sounds say, “I miss my paci… but it’s not a big deal, and in a few seconds, I’m gonna murmur off, back into deep sleep without it.” When they say that, I roll over and go back to sleep.
Sometimes the sleepy sounds say, “Uh-oh. I miss my paci. While I sound pretty deep asleep still, right now, if it doesn’t jump in my mouth soon, things are going to change pretty quickly.” When they say that, I’ve learned to get up quickly, walk quietly, search furtively, find the paci and plug the hole.
Of course, sometimes they say, “OMG, I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE QUIET, SLEEPY SOUNDS AT ALL! I JUST WOKE UP, MY PACI IS GONE, AND WE’RE GOING STRAIGHT INTO DEFCON-5! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are the nights when I really, really wish I hadn’t given up the sweet, sweet alcohol. (Because getting drunk while rocking a child back to sleep for the next seventy-eleven hours is a good idea. ? )
So, anyway, while I was standing by his crib reaching into the corner to retrieve The Paci, the soft glow of his crib-side light gave me one of those sweet glimpses of my Nighttime Braden. He was nestled near the corner of the crib right next to me, on his back, sleepily rubbing at one eye, with both eyes still shut. His blonde hair was falling back softly from his forehead. He had that, “I’m an angel in dinosaur pajamas” look. I sighed as I put the paci back into his little mouth, and listened to his sleepy, happy sucking sounds.
Back in bed, I spoke to him in my head for a few minutes.
“Braden, you have amazed me just recently.
I can’t believe how much you JUST changed on me again. I can’t believe how often you are talking to me, and that you’re asking me QUESTIONS!
I can’t believe that you can RUN and point at things and ask me, “Ish?” (this?) and “Wah-DAHT?”
I can’t believe that you spit out large paragraphs of garbled baby-language about the things I identify for you.
Braden, I’m just amazed by you and I don’t know how to tell you that. I still can’t believe that God decided to let you live with me.
But, you know what, Braden?
I hope He never changes His mind.”
Because He Rocks
- At October 3, 2007
- By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
- In Husband, Love, Marriage
- 2
Just felt like throwing this picture on the proverbial table.
It’s an old favorite of mine. He rocks.
6 Years
- At October 2, 2007
- By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
- In Husband, Love, Relationships
- 1
Yesterday was the 6 year anniversary of the day my husband and I saw one another, in person, for the first time. We still celebrate that day, even though we’ve been married for over 3 years, because it was the real beginning to our romantic relationship.When I see a Ferris Wheel, fireworks, leather pants, or smell raspberry bath ‘n body works body spray, I think of that day.
That is the day I met the man I would, one day, marry. I met a person who would come to know and understand me like no other on earth. I met a man who would take me on a journey of emotion, Love being the greatest. I met the father of my children.
For that, I am grateful beyond words.
November, 2001:
Yesterday – October 1st, 2007:
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