Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder, Revealed!

WINNER of the fabulous LTDchix shirt announced at the bottom of the post!

After publishing this post, I’ve had a ton of people:

1)Complimenting my rack and/or lamenting over the loss of their own glorious racks…

2)Asking me what bra I’m wearing in the photos.

As for #1:

Seriously. Socks with oranges in them, they are, when I’m not wearing a bra. Can I still claim a fabulous rack?

Yes. Because I like oranges. And socks. So there.

But thanks for admiring the glorious way that my saggy flesh appears when shoved into an expensive bra! It’s always nice to be net-groped by strangers. My dirty pillows have been all, “Oooh, we are SO HOT RIGHT NOW!” They’re giddy with the heady feeling of being loved by you guys. Really.

Now, what you really want, #2:

The bra I’m wearing in the photos on that post is a Victoria’s Secret “Very Sexy” Push-Up. The kind with gel in the cups. (I swear by those bras, seriously.)

So, in all fairness, it’s really the bra that has the glorious rack. Hah! Should I be ashamed about that? Needing the help? Maybe? I dunno… mostly I don’t care. I shave my legs (sometimes) and so I’m totally mis-representing the natural state of them for all to see when I’m wearing shorts, too.

And does anyone out there own Spanx? Heh. ‘Nuff said.

And now, what you really, really wanted!

The WINNER of the LTDchix Shirt IS… *drumroll please*

Kat from Katstuff!

Congratulations to Kat! She’ll be sporting an ultra-fine shirt from the ladies at LTDchix in no time! We all expect photos, Kat.

Red

Theme for December 1st, 2007: “Red.”

I realized on Friday that I had not yet looked to see what this week’s PhotoHunt theme was… something I usually do mid-week so that I have time to think about it. Didn’t get online and look it up until after Braden was asleep for the night. “Red.” Oddly, I thought of this photo right away.

It was Braden’s first Christmas, almost an entire year ago. Where has the time gone? He was so tiny. His hair was still black! He had just started the Nutramigen and become the more happy baby he was meant to be. Christmas was just another day to him.

Look at his sleepy, little head. That baby is gone. He is a little (BIG!) boy now, about to have his first REAL Christmas, and the tears well up in my eyes.

I hope I can make it magical for him.

Wordless Wednesday #3

Last haircut was June 14.

Needed another one, badly.

BEFORE:

(Before haircut, AND coffee. Ugh.)

Wait. Before Photos are Supposed to Look AWFUL.

There.

AFTER:

Back of cut:

Momma’s happy. Oh yes.

The Ghost of Halloween Past

Yes, that’s right. Just four short years ago, we were this dead sexy. Eat yer hearts out.

And, hey! This kinda qualifies for Wordless Wednesday! (Just ignore the words? Heh.)

Stay tuned… later today you get to see Braden in his Halloween costume.

Make Out Meme

Okay, first of all…

John: Someone else has suggested I do this. It’s an assignment. You may not use this as an excuse to spout off about Terry Hatcher or Rene Zellweger, or any other old or pasty tarts.

*Ahem*

My first ‘Meme’ on Sarcastic Mom!

I’ve been tagged by Dawn, who has been tagged, but is still working on hers….

[You should do this meme: http://toddleddredge.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/that-meme/ I'm tagged for it and won't get it done right away - so I'm tagging you in advance.] -dawn

(there’s my memetag. see, I’m learning the rules!)

“Ten Literary Characters I Would Totally Make Out With”

(If I Were Single and They Were Real, But I’m Not, Single I Mean, I am Real, But I’m Also Happily Married and Want to Stay That Way, So Maybe We Should Forget This….)

1. Louis Creed, from Pet Sematary. Okay, see, I read Stephen King near religiously. And even when I read that book YEARSANDYEARS ago, I thought he was delicious. So naïve to evil, so determined, and dedicated to his family in unimaginably hideous, yet cavalier ways. I mean, he went through hell (almost literally) to bring back his son, and his wife, from death. That’s sexy.
2. Probably because I was just thinking of him the other day, Ponyboy Curtis, from The Outsiders quickly comes to mind. I read this book, upon the urging of a good friend, when I was in the 8th grade. I felt sinful, sitting on the swing of our front porch in the late afternoon sun, wishing I could just kiss away all his sadness when I came to the part where he read the Frost poem. Gaaaahhhh….
3. Captian Ahab from Moby Dick. One word: Obsession.
4. I feel pretty trashy already, and this one will just make it WAY worse… but if I’m going to be honest, I have to mention Lestat from the Vampire Series by Anne Rice. I became incredibly obsessed with these books while I was in high school and college (yes, even before the movie). This guy is deliciously evil… and yet, his heart is tortured by his actions and his past… his very being. *sigh* I thought my mind was going to explode when I read Memnoch the Devil. I wanted to `boingyboingy` away all of Lestat’s pains. And then all of his not pains. And then anything in between.
5. Schroeder in the Charlie Brown Comic Series (do comics count? Haha) Just to get him away from that damn piano, for once.
6. From another high-school read, this one required, let’s go with Mercutio, in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Go ahead, roll your eyes. But look at this guy. There’s the mystery of not having gotten to really know him… and at the same time, just look at what you do know. Fiery, passionate, willing to die for his friend. I’m in. Of course, you’re gonna have to get at him before Tybalt does. Damn you, Tybalt!
7. Hopping back over to King again, I’m going to go for the gritty with Roland Deschain of The Dark Tower Series. This character… well, he could bend a car in half with his teeth while juggling flaming bottles of vodka with his penis, standing barefoot on razor blades. I’m convinced of it. You could drive an axe into his back and then pour acid in the wound, and he’d ask what was tickling his back. I’m going with him just for the Umph.
8. People seem to overlook Samwise Gamgee of J.R.R Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I think this pick is based on desire fueled by dreamy admiration. Sam is unfailingly at the side of his companion. He is loyal to a fault, and a steadfast protector. He is strong whenever his friend is weak. Plus, he cooks. It’s a no-brainer.
9. Is it entirely wrong to say Arthur “Boo” Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird? I always felt, like, this weird desire to know more about him. He was made out to be this silent, heroic figure of misunderstood innocence. Don’t you want to make him all better? Sexual healing? No? Hm.
10. And, since we’re “iffing” it up, anyway… if I were a lesbian, Kay Scarpetta, of the series of books by Patricia Cornwell. Why? Sheesh, have you read any of these? Because she’s intelligent and disarming, has a hot bod, likes wine, and is an all-around badass.

Whew. That was not so easy to do. It proves I have not been reading enough in quite awhile. And that my brain has become somewhat mushy. (What day is it again?)

But I did it.

I’d be more than happy just to make out with my husband, though, if he would JUST COME HOME.

I’m tagging Veronica, Sarah, Amanda, Nicole, and Karleigh.