in your absence

here one minute
gone the next

did i take for granted
the time we had

there’s an empty spot
on this couch with me

the curve on my side
where your hand likes to be

a record skips in my head
instead of your laughter

there is music far away
it falls from your fingers

still i hear nothing
but the beating of my heart

the only way to stop
the ache in my chest

is to close my eyes
under the stars

and wait for the melody to fade

The moon on my face, your breath at my back.

Always the first to push off from the light
The fastest car, the quickest start
I see them in my rear-view.

I see you
Behind me.

so what is there to rush off to?
what is so important
that I have to be the first one
every time?

why do I have to make sure you are behind me?
why do I have to go first?

must get there.
what is so important?

the moon hangs heavy in the sky tonight
she hangs low
so low
a half moon, like a milky breast
so big, grazing the horizon
tempting, teasing, calling my attention.

against my better judgment
my eyes flick to her
the moon
the heavy, half bust in the sky
over and over again.

as the car pulses onward
every time faster than all of the
rest of you
i steal endless glances
of the moon
calling me to her.

urging me to go faster.

challenging me to get to her first.

instead of watching the things
i should be watching
instead of keeping my eyes on
what is most important

i am making sure I rush onward
i have to get there fast
beat you
beat them
get my prize.

that is what I’m doing, right?
rushing forward because I have something to gain.

or maybe
the truth is that
i am fleeing what lies behind.

the moon is just my scapegoat.
an easy target.
a pleasant distraction.

either way.
I’m fast.

Stripes at my back, my heart on my sleeve.

Today’s Photohunt Theme: “Stripes”

my favorite stripes in a warm time
run up behind me in a line
I lay back and close my eyes
the time of solace and rest flies

quite soon I hear the little feet
marking out a quick-paced beat
a giggling is drawing near
the favorite sound my ears could hear

my eyes open and see his face
filling up my eye-view space
he’s grinning, asking to join me
I reach out, pull him up quickly

now a different kind of peace unfolds
of tickling, laughter, hugs and holds
and just as rest can make me whole
this connection refuels my soul.

Haiku Friday

There’s nothing quite as
crappy as your little one
being really sick.

Crying, whimpering,
headache, fever, pathetic…
a sad little boy.

Sleeping on the hard
floor in his room is no day
at the park either.

We do what me must
to give them comfort, though, right?
Yeah. *hobbles away*

Once more, for good measure.

Long time readers will
remember the story of
our last, moldy house.

What a trial that was!
We have been in this new home
for a whole year now.

I could never say
thank you enough times to those
who helped us get out.

To all of you who
stepped in to help us move then
and are still around

I want you to know
that I think grateful thoughts of
each of you often.

And now we’ve got a
whole year of new memories
in a better home.

So much has happened
in this year that has now passed.
It’s remarkable.

March 2008………………………………………………………………………………………………………….March 2009

So, once more I say
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all
Thanks so very much.

And yes, I can figure out how to make anything into a tribute to him. Neener.

Today’s Photohunt Theme is “Four”

A Braden burrito, one hand sticking out
Just four days old… fuzzy head, little pout
Sleeping so soundly, a thief in the night
Stealing our hearts while we put up no fight

After four weeks of learning, he pursed his lips well
And our stolen hearts continued to swell
Just beginning the journey of parenthood
Much already learned, much still not understood

In four short months time it became very clear
Nothing else had ever been so very dear
Or so frustrating right in the very same minute
Your patience is tested and pushed to the limit!

We have not yet gotten to the next four in line
only half-way there, but there’s plenty of time
No need to rush things or hope time would move fast
I’d rather cling and make each moment last

But by now we’ve learned that it never ends
The journey of parents just stretches and bends
Every challenge is met, then a new one appears
Little victories fade, and there will be new tears

But for every moment that passes a new wonder is born
Your spirit is lifted even as it is torn
The child will bring joy, laughter and mirth
To each piece of your life, every day after birth.

For all the fours had so far
And those still to come
I am blessed and happy
That he is my son.

Clean the shirts on their backs by putting one on yours.

The putrid piles of
clothing in my house are proof
of this one truth: I

hate doing laundry.
But at least I have the means.
Some out there do not.

The term that is used
is “natural disaster.”
I’m sure the victims

feel anything but
natural picking up the
pieces of their lives.

I have not suffered
severe destruction but
just thinking about

the devastation
after floods, hurricanes, and
twisters, I shudder.

At such desperate
times, I can imagine that
all help is welcome.

Tide is offering
practical help to those who
need it in this way:

You buy a shirt here;
proceeds provide clothes cleaning
service for victims.

So now even if
I am not cleaning my own
family’s clothing…

I can take comfort
in knowing that I’m helping
clean laundry elsewhere.

When toddlers pee in anger.

A poem for my living room carpet:

They said you were dirty
but what did they know
I’ve cared for you plenty
and boy does it show

You’re not even black yet
just a dingy grey
I swore that I’d steam you
one of these days

Then a cranky toddler
had fits he did throw
got time out, and got back
at Mom with Pee Shows.

Oh carpet, it soaked in
and I waited too long
I steamed you last night
now you smell like burnt schlong (??? sorry, it rhymed)

Another Mom Lesson
with answers you seek:
don’t let it soak in! when
you do clean, it REEKS.