• Whoa! Hey, I’ve said most of that this past week too!! Well… not the parts where he has to go to the bathroom and whatnot… my son refuses to potty train still. We’re 3 months away from his 4th birthday, and we’re still changing his diapers. But I definitely found this amusing… almost an echo of our household.

    One particular amusing moment today was when I was nursing the baby, and I look up to my 3 year old, and he’s pulling down the neck of his shirt, and lifting up the inner lining–supposed to resemble an undershirt, but really only a shirt collar sewn in–to expose his chest, and was pulling on his nipple. “Look, Mommy! I have milk too!”
    .-= Kayla´s last blog ..Rockabilly ’40s Pin-Up Look – Entry for BlancheBabcock’s Contest! =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Denise

    “Want the fork” left me rolling. FTW

    September 08, 2009
  • Yeah, have you got bugs in my house?
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..On this day =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Perfect picture for the post! ha ha
    My favorite is “want the fork”.
    .-= dysfunctional mom´s last blog ..The Sun & the sand & a Diet Pepsi in my hand =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • @pilateschik

    You so rawk girl! I did the honking boobies thing and the I am just as frustrated just this past weekend! My kids are a tad older so that is truly sad on my end, especially with honking boobs!!

    September 08, 2009
  • Michelle

    What? That face made you say those things? Surely not.

    Actually, surely yes! I can see that.

    September 08, 2009
  • ya, I think you and I share a vocabulary
    .-= Tarasview´s last blog ..Tegu (press release) =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • I so needed that laugh this morning. WaNt the foRk — *snort* I don’t think that one can be topped.
    .-= Arkie Mama´s last blog ..Arkie Mama: A love story =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • LMAO!

    I’ve said all those too…

    I’ve also said: -get those balls out of your mouth

    September 08, 2009
  • Wat the fok. And that ‘honk the boobies’ thing? Funny, Annie won’t let ME do that either. Don’t you guys know that’s fun?
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Tuesday Tale – Inferno =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • That made me laugh out loud! Thanks for that.

    I’d add:
    – Don’t sit on your brother’s head
    – It’s not about wanting to go potty. If you have go to, go!
    – Sometimes the poopy just takes awhile to come out. Calm down and just relax.
    – Doesn’t pooping make your belly feel better? It always makes my belly feel better.
    – Yes, you can have more tomatoes, but first you have to eat some chicken nuggets (What is wrong w/ that kid?)
    – Really? You’re going to take one bite of that cookie and leave the rest? I’m not sure you’re my kid!
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Trudging Forward =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Awesome list!

    I would have to add:
    – Don’t hit me there! You do want a sibling don’t you?

    .-= Jared´s last blog ..OBX – The Outer Banks =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • LOL *son don’t lick the driveway
    *please don’t put my panties on your head
    *you can’t go outside in a shoe and a coat
    *where are your underwear?
    *please stop tooting on your father
    *we do not eat Barbie’s hair!
    *That’s it, no more silverware you can just pick up your pancake!
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..A Saturday at the coast =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Chibi Jeebs

    Ohhhh, the mischief in those eyes!
    .-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday – Freebie Five =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • I love that! Especially the honking boobies!
    .-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Bunnicide: A Tale of Murder and Mayhem =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • My sons use my boobs as a button of some sort to get my attention.

    Gets my attention alright.

    Also, I think I said about 98% of those things over the weekend.
    .-= pgoodness´s last blog ..The results are in! =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Karleigh Sherer

    No, Daddy doesn’t drive a bus. He RIDES on it.

    That makes me miss “Gite.” He’s growing up so fast!

    September 08, 2009
  • I think I’ve said that stuff today! Well, if you include

    “You may not go outside naked.” &
    “Why did you poop in the frog? Please poop in the toilet from now on”
    .-= Mary´s last blog ..Fancy Fixins! =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Oh fun times. We are getting there.

    Just thought you should know… I had a crazy dream last night where you were the owner of a “romantic” shop. And you were telling me which were the normal underwear and which were the “special” underwear…
    .-= Krista´s last blog ..Book: The Blue Enchantress =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • I can’t tell you how many of these I’ve said myself! LOL.
    This made me grin.

    Thanks, friend :-)
    .-= rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..PMS Crunch =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Stumble, stumble, stumble, LOTUS! Thumbs up. Hi *waves*
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Warmth =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Oh, man. I haven’t laughed this hard in quite some time!!! :-)

    Permission to ‘steal it’? (This means I will post it in Spanish and link here for the English version). It’s just that good!!!
    .-= Gabriel´s last blog ..Silly Monkey Stories #63 – Fossils =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • That was great i have said so many of those things i think tomorrow i will start writing a list of all the things say – gives a good run down of the day lol
    .-= steff´s last blog ..Tuesday 1st was for Spring =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Sometimes it just comes in spurts (I think I was referring to bad luck, or being sad or something). IT COMES IN SPURTS. oh yes it does.
    .-= jenB´s last blog ..Seven Years in Tibet =-.

    September 08, 2009
  • Kat

    Um…yeah. Me too.
    .-= Kat´s last blog ..Handling Poison Oak =-.

    September 09, 2009
  • Love this list, I say all of those things multiple times a day…and I fear my sarcasm is rubbing off on my kids, as they are starting to laugh LOL
    .-= Jazzy´s last blog ..Beatles On iTunes?? Maybe =-.

    September 09, 2009
  • Longy

    And the louder you say those things, the bigger the grin is when they change the subject as soon as you finish what you are saying.

    September 09, 2009
  • LOL! Yep, you’re mother to a boy all right! I think you about covered my list as well.
    .-= Ashlie- Mommycosm´s last blog ..Maxisms =-.

    September 09, 2009
  • HAHA who knew that parenthood was so random!?
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..Excuse me? =-.

    September 09, 2009
  • Laura

    I Love You!!

    September 09, 2009
  • Qua

    Not a mom or anything, just a young girl who was in a sad mood and this actually made me smile. Thanks 😀
    sounds like a real job, but I bet it’s worth it

    September 09, 2009
  • Pro Mom

    My favorite that I have said is
    “Get your elbow out of your sister’s ear!”

    September 09, 2009
  • originality

    It’s like a time machine! Going back and saying everything Erma Bombeck said 35 years ago. Of course she made it sound much more clever.

    September 09, 2009
  • Hilarious! I’ve said a surprising number of those myself in the last week or so, particularly all the ones having to do with hand washing/not licking your hands/putting things in your mouth — with the addition of “don’t lick your sister’s hands” and “don’t put your toes in your mouth.”
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Eighth anniversary: bronze and pottery (or toilet plungers and text messages) =-.

    September 10, 2009
  • I finally stole this post!!!

    You can find it here
    .-= Gabriel´s last blog ..Tell me Thursdays – Back to school =-.

    September 10, 2009
  • Beth in Alabama

    Yes, yes, yes. So good, this. And so eeeerily familiar.

    September 11, 2009
  • Your information help me a lot with my family. Thanks!

    September 12, 2009
  • Love them all but “Seriously, you really did just ask me for this exact thing, why are screaming no when I give you what you wanted?” is a classic!
    .-= Rick´s last blog ..You Tell Us: Are Classic Children’s Books Still on Your Kids’ Reading Lists? =-.

    September 12, 2009
  • ha! man I don’t know why but it just feels good to have someone type it all out 😉

    September 13, 2009
  • che

    in psychology, toddlers tend to be negativistic and will always say NO to the nth time. and yes, this has been proven. the best thing to do is to offer them choices. your child will eventually be introduced to cause and effect rather than keeping them submissive. happy child rearing! :)

    September 14, 2009
  • I am crying with laughter!!! I’m not quite there yet as River is only 10 months but I’m sure I will be soon!

    September 14, 2009
  • How about “No, I will NOT scratch your pee pee for you”? Did you say that one? Because I did. I totally did. Twice. And not to the same person.
    .-= bejewell´s last blog ..But Seriously, What Happened to All the Forks? =-.

    September 20, 2009
  • hahaha, how cool is that. If you can’t get the occasional laugh out of parenting then what is the point? Thanks for sharing
    .-= Parenting Children´s last blog ..Would You Smack Your Child In Public? =-.

    September 24, 2009
  • […] Crazy Crap a Mother Says Out Loud – Funny and completely believable. […]

    November 29, 2009
  • Jen

    The tears of laughter haven’t stopped yet. I’ve said pretty much everything on this list in the last day or so too- even something similar to “want the fork” (although mine had to do with my little guy screaming “sit” in a store). Thanks for the laugh!
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..The best 3 words… =-.

    December 07, 2009
  • Are you kidding? This is SO funny. Would that we could all list the things we say to our kids in one 24 hour period…

    November 14, 2011
  • It’s quite funny to hear all the things that come out of my mouth now that I’m a mom!

    September 10, 2012
  • Monica

    I absolutely love this. Im new to this , and finally I can relate to all of you . Had a great laugh. Thanks!

    April 24, 2013

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