Well, my friends, it looks
like Gastroenteritis
Fest ‘Oh-Eight is done.
I never knew that
my butthole could imitate
a waterfall. Wow.
And did you know that
after forty-eight hours of
nothing but fluids…
Dry toast tastes kind of
like the best gourmet meal that’s
ever been prepared?
And I wanted to
mention to all of you guys
that you should never
post about something
that you “hope doesn’t happen.”
TEMPT YE NOT THE FATES!
Read the last line of
my last post to discover
my last misfortune.
That’s right. You saw it.
I hit “publish,” and then I…
I… sharted. Again.
Yeah. Go Ahead. Laugh.
Really. Laugh. Poop is funny!
Especially sharts.
Seriously though.
Non-stop pooping and farting?
Not my bag, baby.
#1 by Gabriel on April 18, 2008 - 12:12 AM
Scatastrophe for two!
Gabriel’s last blog post..Friday’s feast #18
#2 by Summer on April 18, 2008 - 12:12 AM
LOL Oh I can’t stop laughing! I’m so sorry!
Summer’s last blog post..Pieces Of Me
#3 by mah-meeee on April 18, 2008 - 12:17 AM
i’m so glad that it has left your home.
so glad that braden didn’t catch it. it was brutal when my babies caugth it…esp teh 3 month old.
take care… summer is almost here!
mah-meeee’s last blog post..i miss my kids?
#4 by Hawt & Bothered on April 18, 2008 - 12:19 AM
Ever had a colonoscopy? Cascading poop for hours. Lovely!
Hawt & Bothered’s last blog post..Madonna Is A Naughty Mama
#5 by Walking With Scissors on April 18, 2008 - 12:24 AM
Girl, you kill me. I remember the last time I was *that* sick. (thankfully, it was 13 years ago) I remember alternately praying to God to let me die and praising God for allowing me to be tall enough to have one end reach the toilet while simultaneously throwing up in the sink. Good times. Glad you’re feeling better!
Walking With Scissors’s last blog post..Here I Am
#6 by cyndy on April 18, 2008 - 12:31 AM
I thought you were going to say the baby got it! I’m quite happy to hear that you just sharted.
Glad you’re both feeling better!
cyndy’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen
#7 by Shannymar on April 18, 2008 - 12:40 AM
I hope your next fart is a dry one.
(I don’t think I have ever said that to someone before so you should feel special! Har har)
Shannymar’s last blog post..Happy blogaversary to ME
#8 by Kara - down to earth mommy on April 18, 2008 - 12:45 AM
so glad you are better. The comments tonight are as good as the post. LOL
Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..Must be Mondays
#9 by Taz on April 18, 2008 - 3:29 AM
aww..
gastro sucks..
although i am happy to hear you better..
Taz’s last blog post..25 weeks old
#10 by MizFit on April 18, 2008 - 4:11 AM
and only you could feel, err, shitty and manage to weave in an austin powers reference
MizFit’s last blog post..Link Love and a Friday FREEBIE!
#11 by Sadie on April 18, 2008 - 5:48 AM
Ugh…sucky!! Glad you’re feeling better, though!!!
Sadie’s last blog post..Hai—aw hell, I’m not this clever—ku
#12 by Z on April 18, 2008 - 6:33 AM
Glad it’s over… But I still reserve the right to think sharts (talking about them, at least) are funny
Z’s last blog post..Reminder
#13 by Kathryn on April 18, 2008 - 6:56 AM
Oh dear. That sucks. Hope the waterfall has run dry!
Kathryn’s last blog post..A Time To Cry
#14 by Veronica on April 18, 2008 - 7:04 AM
So glad you’re better!
Veronica’s last blog post..The Deranged Tooth Fairy
#15 by ~JJ! on April 18, 2008 - 7:08 AM
Sharts. Ha.
~JJ!’s last blog post..Memeing and Ku’ing at The Pro
#16 by Lou Lohman on April 18, 2008 - 7:26 AM
I know – isn’t that just the pits. And it kinda makes you just want to take the underwear (provided, of course, you were WEARING underwear), put it in a plastic bag, knot it up and throw it way. Of course, if you were going commando at the time, well, that WOULD exemplify a level of bravery for which you are famous, but it would still have been foolish. And, typically, foolish you are NOT.
Lou Lohman’s last blog post..C Word Challenge PLUS
#17 by Anne on April 18, 2008 - 7:33 AM
Yep, you jinxed yourself! Glad you feel better.
Anne’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Mud Pies
#18 by wright on April 18, 2008 - 8:31 AM
I’m glad you’re feeling better! And I hope to be able to work the owrd SHART into my next conversation!
wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – When I’m Sick
#19 by Beth - Total Mom Haircut on April 18, 2008 - 8:33 AM
Oh, it HAS happened to me. Just a few weeks ago. Ah, I remember it well. Waterfalls at night. It’s the STUFF of true poetry.
Beth – Total Mom Haircut’s last blog post..Wherein I Link All Over My Own Blog
#20 by Junebug on April 18, 2008 - 8:34 AM
It can happen to anyone.
Junebug’s last blog post..Nursing Graduate
#21 by Adrienne on April 18, 2008 - 8:35 AM
HAHAHA! Sharting. Best entry ever! I laughed out loud! A literal LOL. (ALOL) Actually Laughed Out Loud.
Adrienne’s last blog post..Yes it is real marker.
#22 by Secret Agent Mama on April 18, 2008 - 8:37 AM
I love a good series of farts (like from beans), but not sharting!!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Haiku Friday in Photos
#23 by Marylin on April 18, 2008 - 8:46 AM
aww poor thing, I hope you’re back to normal soon!
note to self: Don’t read Lotus’s site while eating…
Marylin’s last blog post..I’m Hai!
#24 by Sarah on April 18, 2008 - 9:08 AM
Our family got that last year. Not a pretty thing!! I was the only one who got it mildly (12 hours).
And I’m with Marylin. I should never read your site when I’m eating or drinking, XD. At least not with the laptop
Sarah’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – It’s a Birthday
#25 by Cassie on April 18, 2008 - 9:25 AM
Oh wow! I am literally laughing out loud! I might have even peed my pants a little! haha.
Cassie’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Furbaby!
#26 by jamie on April 18, 2008 - 9:25 AM
Oh man, been there….$&%$&$! chocolate peanut butter easter bunny some years back … two weeks of well, you know.
Hope all is mucho better soon!
jamie’s last blog post..haiku friday
#27 by Kim on April 18, 2008 - 9:26 AM
YIKEs.. that does not sound like fun at all.. I am so glad your feeling better!!
Kim’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – Lets Get Personal
#28 by Connie on April 18, 2008 - 9:55 AM
Even when you’re “sharting”, you still have your famous humor
Is it possible that Gastro is contagious thru the internet?!? Last nite & so far this morning, my stomach has been all “rumbly & tumbly” & I’ve been pooping some. Possible?!? I’m wondering~LOL! Hope you feel better soon 
Connie’s last blog post..WW #29~~Quack Quack
#29 by alisha on April 18, 2008 - 10:14 AM
too funny!! it’s been a long time since i heard the word “sharted”. great ku and i hope you are off toast and on to better soon!
alisha’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Hail and Hickey’s
#30 by DeuceMom on April 18, 2008 - 10:54 AM
Shannymar – “I hope your next fart is a dry one.”
Is that a missing line from the Irish prayer…
May the road rise to meet you,
and may your next fart be a dry one.
Amen
DeuceMom’s last blog post..#1 reason for the move
#31 by Scylla on April 18, 2008 - 11:27 AM
I am glad you are feeling better…. and yeah, sharting is … well… you put it well.
#32 by justmylife on April 18, 2008 - 12:29 PM
Love the post and the comments. But they stoled all my wonderful comments. Hope you continue to be dry!
justmylife’s last blog post..My husband is special. Part 3
#33 by the planet of janet on April 18, 2008 - 1:16 PM
stop! stop! say no more. the laughing. it hurts!!!!!!
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: the all is reasonably well edition
#34 by Eve on April 18, 2008 - 1:57 PM
I lived with this situation for six months almost every day. I never found that much humor in it. Glad you made me laugh, and double glad you’re better.
Eve’s last blog post..Leo’s Place for Pizza
#35 by Eve on April 18, 2008 - 1:59 PM
I forgot to mention – I’ll be out of town for a few days, so I’m getting some posts ready early. My Weekly Winners is all set to auto-post on Sunday. I’ll try to get back in (borrow my sis’ computer) to get it on the linky list, but if not you can find it here http://adamswife.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/weekly-winners-april-13-19/
Eve’s last blog post..Leo’s Place for Pizza
#36 by Kat on April 18, 2008 - 2:25 PM
Ugh.
#37 by Deb on April 18, 2008 - 3:12 PM
I sharted when I had the bug a couple of months ago. It really is the pits.
Hope Mr. Braden stays in good health!
Deb’s last blog post..Random Thoughts Friday
#38 by Tootsie Farklepants on April 18, 2008 - 3:27 PM
I’d be happy to donate to your new underwear fund!
Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..Tootsie Talks ~ Some People Listen
#39 by Kimberly on April 18, 2008 - 3:45 PM
::i’m not laughing. i’m not laughing::
OK, I’m laughing a little.
Or a lot.
Sorry!
Kimberly’s last blog post..The fullest of threats
#40 by SherE1 on April 18, 2008 - 4:53 PM
I’m sorry -that was so funny! I hope you feel better soon!
SherE1’s last blog post..Be Careful What You Ask For
#41 by HRH on April 18, 2008 - 5:16 PM
Note to self: Learn to not test fate from Lotus.
HRH’s last blog post..I have a winner…
#42 by Kay on April 18, 2008 - 5:29 PM
Try having IBS your whole life…welcome to my world. There is a silver lining I can think of though, fair lotus: bet it helped kill kevin and leroy!! AHAHAHHAHA
#43 by Rebecca on April 18, 2008 - 7:16 PM
I’m glad you’re feeling better. Did Braden manage to avoid the bug?
Rebecca’s last blog post..Project Looking Through (Take 3)
#44 by HappyCampers on April 18, 2008 - 8:13 PM
Ahhhh ha ha ha hah a ha~ that is so funny (not the sick part, but the shart part). Glad you’re better…sorry your underpants took a hit
HappyCampers’s last blog post..Last Week: CoOp at Lanana Gardens
#45 by Hockeyman on April 18, 2008 - 9:31 PM
Poop is hilarious. A nice bathroom reader would e the book Walter the Farting Dog. We just got the stuffed Walter in complete with fart noises from squeezing the tummy! Happy spraying!
Hockeyman’s last blog post..OWWW!!!
#46 by A Whole Lot of Nothing on April 18, 2008 - 9:45 PM
Diarrhea CHA CHA CHA
Diarrhea CHA CHA CHA
Diarrhea CHA CHA CHA
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Flashback Friday aka Mama’s Brain Dead
#47 by janelle on April 18, 2008 - 11:52 PM
gotta love poop and farts and all that is stinky…i blogged about flatulance a couple days ago, it just makes me laugh. glad you’re feeling better!
janelle’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
#48 by Rhea on April 19, 2008 - 11:50 PM
Ok, butthole waterfall I could have done without. Nice imagery!!
Rhea’s last blog post..Photo Texas
#49 by Tara on April 20, 2008 - 7:28 PM
Eeek! Yuck! We were suffering with ya this week, though. I hate the puke/poop combo – you know, holding the garbage can in the lap. Fun fun!
Tara’s last blog post..Happy Anniversary to ME!