First, I totally bore you with the medical stuff… then, Pee Pee!

I also had trouble with depression on the pill. Stopped taking it. Do you take B vitamins? A B complex can really help too. When I forget to take mine there is a noticeable difference in my mood. Sometimes when I’m cranky, my husband (when he’s feeling brave) will say, “Did you take your vitamins today?”

Groovy Mom’s last blog post..My Most Embarrassing Moment

I am with you 110% on the pill theory but you knew that already. Being on the tri-phasic pill was horrible. I don’t ever want to go back to it again.

The monophasic pill was better, but I have only been feeling ‘better’ since stopping completely. And this is me! Who isn’t really prone to depression at all! If it can do it to me, I have no idea what it has been doing to you!

Doctors need to talk more about the bad side effects of the pill.

Veronica’s last blog post..Sleep Wars by Amy

I had no idea that the pill could /would do that. Makes sense when I think about it as I always felt like crap while taking it. I got so bad last year while on it, that one of my kids ran away one afternoon (to nans) cos I was yelling at everyone all the time. Not good. Not good at all. I ditched the pill and started taking B6/mag/zinc supplements – made a HUGE difference. I don’t yell much at all usually.

Bettina’s last blog post..Menu Plan Monday (on monday!)

I’m proud of you for taking charge and doing something to try to help your depression. I have been suffering some “ugly thoughts” myself, and the mood swings have caused me to be banished to midnight shift to “limit my contact with other employees & the public because I’m bad for morale” Yes, they actually said that. I feel your pain (figuratively and literally) Hang in there, We love you!
email if you ever just need to let loose!

‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..Housekeeping

yay, lotus. i’m glad you have taken action on your own — it sounds like you are on the way back.

but even on your dark days, your friends in the computer are here for you. and i’m proud to consider myself one of those.

hugs

janet’s last blog post..It’s 3:30 in the morning … do you know where your children are?
Twitter: planetofjanet

I noticed crazy terrible PMS when I was on the pill in the form of being weepy, sensitive and bitchy, but that was only for about a week out of each month.

Most importantly, you are grabbing hold of your own health and trying to find out what’s going on, and if this is it, it would sure be a cheaper and easier treatment than something else. It aggravates me that as a patient I feel I must remain so damn vigilant and aware and do my own research, only to have my asshat doctors roll their eyes at me for caring enough about my own health to Google stuff. Sadly, sometimes you have to do just that. Thankfully, we are savvy enough to do that kind of thing. I worry about when I am too old, and I can only hope that by then I have an actual doctor that I can trust to really pay attention to the stuff I tell them and truly work with me to figure things out and address issues appropriately. Maybe by then people will be able to see a doctor when they need medical care in our country without worrying about bankrupting their hardworking selves, too – how amazing would that be? Sorry, once I get going…

Whether it turns out that cutting out the pill is the answer or something else, my heart goes out to you, and I do hope you find the solution.

I noticed crazy terrible PMS when I was on the pill in the form of being weepy, sensitive and bitchy, but that was only for about a week out of each month.

Most importantly, you are grabbing hold of your own health and trying to find out what’s going on, and if this is it, it would sure be a cheaper and easier treatment than something else. It aggravates me that as a patient I feel I must remain so damn vigilant and aware and do my own research, only to have my asshat doctors roll their eyes at me for caring enough about my own health to Google stuff. Sadly, sometimes you have to do just that. Thankfully, we are savvy enough to do that kind of thing. I worry about when I am too old, and I can only hope that by then I have an actual doctor that I can trust to really pay attention to the stuff I tell them and truly work with me to figure things out and address issues appropriately. Maybe by then people will be able to see a doctor when they need medical care in our country without worrying about bankrupting their hardworking selves, too – how amazing would that be? Sorry, once I get going…

Whether it turns out that cutting out the pill is the answer or something else, my heart goes out to you, and I do hope you find the solution.

Maggie’s last blog post..Chantix / FDA – Do Be Careful Part 3

Oh, sweetie boo! I feel your pain, I do!

When I went off the pill after being on it for 8 years, at first I went bat shit crazy. no joke. Then, I felt FAN-F*CKING-TASTIC (I know you’re on bluehost, heh).

I won’t do it again, ever.

Wish I could write more now, but it’s bedtime!

You know my thyroid and I are right there with you, girl!

muah!

VDog’s last blog post..What Did I Do To The Poor Boy?
Twitter: VDog

For me, I noticed a pronounced different between my moods and PMS symptoms on a variety of low-estrogen pills, nothing and Depo. Depo being the worst, which does support the theories you’re outlining. But, I’ve been diagnosed with a variety of mental ills including OCD, ADD and Cyclothymia. So, I suppose I’m not a “pure” lab rat.

And, if it makes you feel better, I got pooped on today. For the first time, ever. I’ve decided to buy a potty for every room in my 1 bedroom apartment.

zoeyjane’s last blog post..But I’m Feeling Much Better, Now

i read through all of it but i don’t feel qualified to comment on your mental health. instead i’l like to point out that your son pee’d a boogie man on your sweatshirt.

Wow, lovely Lo!

You know, I really admire you. I know it hasn’t been easy, with the depression and the thyroid crap. And yet here you are, making people laugh and making the world a more funner place to be — for me, at least.

I never knew that about the pill!!! I was on it for the 5 most tumultuous years of my life, went off for a while, then back on and I noticed then that it made me feel like TOTAL CRAP! I went off and never looked back. I just knew that I felt better OFF it.

I’m SO GLAD you are feeling better!!!! Seriously. Releived. You DESERVE TO FEEL FAN-FREAKIN’-TASTIC already.

Damn. I wish you were here so I could wisk you off to my natural Doc.

“Dr. Clayton-Murnan addresses the body by handling the structural and chemical imbalances through precise chiropractic and nutritional programs, based on computerized health analysis, consultation, hair analysis and lab tests. ” – from her site. And I tell you. She is AH. MAY. ZING.

Well, if you ever want to come visit…

Kat’s last blog post..More Weird Behavior

Hello lovely Lotus,

I, too, have had that struggle, and they were dark days indeed. I am convinced that the Pill had a great deal to do with my downward spiral and like you, I am horrified that not one of the many doctors I saw ever identified that as a potential contributing factor.

For some women, the Pill is safe, effective contraception. Some are lucky enough that it smooths away serious mood swings that would be part of their regular cycle without it. I am not one of those women. It makes me fat, bitchy and constantly menstruating.

Hey, guess what else? Kevin and Leroy could be brought to you by the Pill. Thanks for coming!

I look forward to hearing the long term outcome of your decision to stop taking it. I am willing to bet life is going to get a lot better for you.

Thanks for your words – you are a great writer and a brilliant photographer and I am so glad you do what you do. Keep up the good work!

Stella’s last blog post..A toast

Oh sweety (((hugs))) now let me whisper the Magic words..

Evening Primrose Oil..

2x 1000mg capsules a day and voila My son is still alive…and I am a much much nicer person.. Trust me honey..

glucosamine for your arthritis, fish oil for your skin and your arthritis and evening primrose oil for mood swings.
xxxxxx kim

frogpondsrock’s last blog post..*Doh*

I’ve been struggling with a lot of moodiness lately and it’s totally random. I’ve also been having some very clear dreams and that is pretty unusual for me. I’ve been on Yaz and then Yasmin since July of ’07. But I’ve also stopped working, immigrated, begun living in a half finished partially renovated house, and started living with a man for the first time ever. So I doubt seriously if it’s just being on the pill in my case.
Point is, I’m sorry for how you’ve been feeling and that no one has been vigilant enough to look at some of the other reasons for your mood and state of mind. Doctors can be really blind sometimes. I hope you continue to feel better and that things in your life get brighter soon.

lilacspecs’s last blog post..Sleepy Sunday

It makes me so sad that you are sad. Your blog is a source of happiness for me. I get excited when I see that you have a new post up.

I hope not being on the pill continues to help with your depression. I hope you can find the right doctor to help you with your thyroid problems. I am praying for you.

And don’t ever worry about not being funny. We like you, through the good times and the bad!

Beth_C’s last blog post..100 Things About Me…Part 3

I never felt right when I was on the Pill. I took it at 17 for 3+ years and wow, what an angry girl. I stopped and felt so much better. I tried again after Dylan was born but I just hated it. I knew it was the pill making me into this easily angered woman.
Your post was an a-ha moment for me. Although I don’t need BC anymore, it’s a relief to know this could be why I was the way I was for certain times in my life.
I sure hope this works for you sweetie – keep the lines of communication open – it’s a tough road but with the right support, you will succeed.
xo

Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Is This Even Healthy?

I’m vehemently AGAINST chemical contraceptives. Seriously, your putting a chemical in your body to stop something that isn’t meant to be stopped. That effs with your levels, all sorts of ways and back. I’m glad you have stopped taking them.

I’m here for you, my friend. You know that. And, when I get my new vehicle, I’m paying you a visit. We’re gonna make out like school kids….errrr… we’re gonna make dinner like school kids. …errr..we’re gonna have a blast! <3

Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..And The “Eyes” Have It

Lotus, Precious,

Don’t you know the nondisclosure of evidence proving birth control pills cause depression is one of many planks of the left wing conspiracy to protect what is left of feminism? Because we little ladies are way too stupid (to practice birth control or not) to make that decision on our own when we have all the information needed to make our own decisions.

Okay, so I made that up, but it does kind of seem like the original feminists really just wanted to decide what women should and shouldn’t be and weren’t really fighting for us at all, but just to take the control away from the men. Aristocratic feminism is what I call it.

So your post got me thinking. There are a ton of other points, and I’m half joking, but I am open to other conspiracy theories here.

Most of all, I’m sorry you’re experiencing this all but VERY GLAD you are noticing results so soon after getting off the pill.

I don’t take the pill because I am an even bigger witch when I do. And I gain weight, which of course makes me even witchier. We don’t use any form of protection (we’re married), so we have this cycle of anxiety wondering if I am pregnant, which I prefer to the craziness of the pill and other protection alternatives.

Well, I’ll wrap up this essay now.

TTYL, the Texican

Dre the Texican’s last blog post..Yes, People, I’ve Always Been Extraordinary

oh honey I’m so sorry you’ve been put through all this ((((huge cyber hugs)))) for you. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling a lil better since having come off the pill – fingers crossed things keep on getting better for ya.
Ya know you could always emmigrate to the UK and get free treatment

Marylin’s last blog post..Ten on Tuesday #7

Typically, I’m not into herbal or natural remedies. Give me the harsh chemicals all the way. However, I’m a depressive, too, and have been since I was in about the second grade. It’s all chemical imbalance stuff.

Since money’s tight the world over, a cheap thing you can try is to get cod liver oil pills. They have Omega-3s in them that are proven to help with chemical depression. They helped me back when I took them, and they don’t have a lot of the harsh side effects of the anti-depressants. Also, they’ll make your hair shinier, so hey, whacha got to lose?

*e-hugs* I won’t tell you that everything will be OK because I can’t know that, but what I can tell you is you’re a strong-willed individual, and that you’ve got a husband who’s there to support you, and you’ve got friends who’re there to support you, and we’ll all work through this with you step by step.

Thursday’s Child’s last blog post..Help a Sistah Out!

The internet has been a life saver (literally) for my husband. Docs kept ignoring his symptoms & pains, and in the end he finally diagnosed himself through online research, with a confirmation later by docs.

Your birth control story is SO interesting. Thank you for sharing…”grex” is the ONE are in my marriage that could be better, and it was awesome when I was OFF the pill trying to get pregnant with our son. I never connected the two…

Sending hugs your way

HappyCampers’s last blog post..Feelin’ The Luv

I too am also off the pill and so much happier, a better mama and a better wife. (the zoloft helps too)

Good for you for taking control of your health and well being. Thinking of you….

kara’s last blog post..sweet beautiful love

Oh sweetie. We had no idea what you were going through and how bad it has been/ is on you. We deal with Dad’s Bipolar everyday, so anytime you need to vent swing over to myspace or shoot me an email. No need for funnies either. If you email me I’ll hook you up with John’s email and you can vent at him too.

((Hugs))

Go ahead and add me to the list of women who have been depressed on the pill. Ironically, it took a while. I started my period in 4th grade when I was 10 and during my first period, I was plagued by the most debilitating cramps that I vomited and passed out. So I was promptly put on the the pill. Over the years, I’ve been on everything but the shot and an IUD. The patch kind of sucked. Anyway, during my sophomore year, i was on the pill that you take for four months and then have your period. It was awesome because I didn’t have periods. But it was a major contributor to my depression. There was never a release of those hormones- they just stocked up in my body for four months! PLenty of people don’t have problems on the pill, but if you do, there are easy fixes. You should think about an IUD, but I know you and John want to have another baby sometime in the near future. Anyway, it sounds like there are a lot of your readers who’ve experienced depression, but if you every need another perspective, I’m here.
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

Well, Im glad you were able to find a solution to your problem! And I feel you on not being able to afford another doctor. I sadly am without health insurance right now, my parents insurance dropped me cuz i am no longer in school, and I have yet to find one i can afford… it recently cost me $180 to check out what i though might be strep throat! The health care system is a ridiculous rip off! It shouldn’t cost $180 to have someone shine a light down my throat and write a prescription…. But, enough about me! hope this works out for you! good luck with it!

irunwithscissors’s last blog post..long day, short post

I’m supposed to get tested for hypo-thyroid-sometime or-another in a couple of weeks. But I’ve been struggling with this-might-be-because-of-the-pill idea.

Since I’ve gone back on the pill, I have been through 2 depression/anxiety meds and I feel like I’m going to lose it…. about 90% of the time. I don’t know that it’s worth it.

So, in other words, I might be with ya on this one sista.

I feel like I’ve been figthing an uphill battle since I’ve been back on it and I don’t think I like how my side of the fight is going.

I really, really hope this works out for you, cause I know how bad it can suck. Your hubby loves you, and I’m sure that helps to get through the craziness (I say in love, of course).

If BF winds up talking to me again after last nights Autumn-freakout-a-palooza, I might run the idea past him.

Ok, to the funny. The no dipey is quite the double edged sword, no? On one hand, Autumn loves baby butts.. so no dipey gives me the giggle for the day. Other hand, you get the pee-pee hugs. But when it comes down to it, you do get a hug out of it, and a handful of dimple cheek. Soggy or no soggy.

Like how the non-soggy girl says that? .

Autumn Dahlia’s last blog post..Manic Monday

I’ve been off the pill since before I was pregnant with Cordy, and I will never go back on the pill again. I spent the better part of my early and mid-twenties depressed with practically no libido. Aaron and I nearly split up before we were married because it was such an issue. Oh, and weight gain. LOTS of weight gain. It sucked.

Staying off the pill has helped me a lot. I had more libido after having Cordy, and now after having Mira it’s completely back. Birth control is more tricky when not using the pill (since the two main non-hormonal options are either condoms or an IUD). I’m probably going to get an IUD until we’re 100% sure we’re done having kids, at which time Aaron will be going for a vasectomy.

If the pill is screwing with your emotional well-being, you’ve done the right thing by going off it. A doctor might suggest trying other types of the pill (that’s what they did with me), but none of them ever really got rid of all of the negative side effects.

I tried and tried to take the pill, how convenient it all seemed, but every kind of pill made me an emotional void, depressed (pre-disposed to that one) or angry, have no interest in the sex I could have been having every minute if I wasn’t so angry all the time and they all made me dry as a bone anyway so even if I did have sex I might have ignited from all the friction. I had to find alternate methods. Having three kids helps, you definately don’t need birth control as often as you used to when you only had one!

clickmom’s last blog post..cat devil burglar

Hey Darlin. We do love you and we understand. It’s one of the good things about being able to blog, eh? Get things out without being within range of things being thrown (I kid.)

You are a nice person. It’s important to understand yourself and your motivation – and it helps that you’re always so honest with your writing. If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to come by. We’re family by choice, not by blood.

And I love the pee pee picture! It looks like a reverse picture of Casper the Friendly Ghost!

Ree’s last blog post..Rock Wars

ugh – I went off it too – I’ll bring you my book next week and we’ll have a reading session.

while getting peed on.

Dawn’s last blog post..Constant Comment

I was never successful with the pill…not for depression reasons, for other reasons. I was medically SUPPOSED to take it for cystic reasons…but I never did. Except for maybe 6 months. I hadn’t heard about the link between depression and the pill…but kudos to you for doing your own research. It’s what I’ve had to do many times.

I wish you the best in this attmpt!! I live with one who is depressed and I know the hell it can be. I hope this helps you find your peace!!

Oh and…thanks for the giggle at the end. Yikes….

Sadie’s last blog post..“Snuggle Me” Contest re-post!!
Twitter: sadiecass

I’m sorry you’re going through so much crap in your life. It’s so not fun being a woman and dealing with all the many things that can go wrong.

I noticed weird things happening with my moods when I was on birth control and without talking to anyone (medical) about it decided on my own that the birth control pills were causing it. I went off them and was amazed at how different (normal) I felt.

Hopefully now that you’re off them your mood continues to improve.

Ariana’s last blog post..More from yesterday

Oh and do you use disposable diapers?
My youngest daughter is insanely prone to diaper rash so I started using cloth diapers. She hasn’t had one diaper rash since!
Not to mention the lovely money I’m saving every month.

Ariana’s last blog post..More from yesterday

As one who felt like she was walking through syrup while on the pill and who also suffered from post-partum depression after her second son’s birth, just wanted to say that I hear you and wish you luck on this journey. I’ve been living what I call “above the line” for four years now, and I cannot begin to tell you what a different world it is after getting help (a combo of talk therapy, a brief time on antidepressants–I became pg again and didn’t want to be on them–and natural remedies like fish oil & exercise & continued talk therapy–which worked for me in part b/c I didn’t have major depression but a hormonal roller coaster + major life stressors). I think talking about it is a huge, courageous step, fwiw, and I hope you’re able to get the help you need and that being off the pill helps, too.

Toni’s last blog post..January Weight Loss – What’s Working, Part 2

Thank you SO much for talking about this. It’s so important that we all understand what we are doing to ourselves and our family.

Thank you thank you thank you!

Good start! When you have had all the babies you want, just get the hubby snipped.
Simple math: tubal ligations=6 weeks without sex
vasectomy=48 hours without sex.
You have to talk to them in terms they understand

witchypoo’s last blog post..Knudsen Award for 2008 and a shop

First off-the pee, BTDT. MANY times! Kids are a mess.

I’ve been off BC since, oh 1996. Once I found out exactly how they worked, I just couldn’t do that to myself again. Not to mention the weight gain I suffered from while on it. Bleck! Like I need more help in that area.

It’ll probably take about 4 months for the hormones to completely be out of your body. Maybe less, maybe more. I know you’ll be 100% better feeling when they’re all gone.

I have been.

Smoochiefrog’s last blog post..I Wish This Were Happy Birthday

The amazing thing to me, about you, is that you’ve established yourself in the hearts and minds of all of us out here as an incredibly witty, sarcastic (duh?), and loving mother/person/wife/(did I mention Mother?).

And did you notice that the puddle on your sweatshirt looks like one of the guys that Casper the Friendly Ghost hangs around with? Or is it just me?

p.s. He kinda looks like he’s holding a sandwich.

Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Back in the water
Twitter: lceel

Stupid Hashimoto’s. Stupid birth control pill. Stupid patriarchy.

I *heart* my Mirena. Except I think that’s how Mothergoosemouse got herself all knocked up.

Big hugs from Kansas. And squishy baby cheeks, too. (I don’t mind getting peed on as much as I hate when someone drops a deuce in the tub. Ew.)

The Other Dawn’s last blog post..Also…

Kudos to you for writing about the pill. Two very good friends of mine have had combinations of the side affects you describe while taking bc over the past several years and neither’s doc has ever suggested the pill could be the culprit. (One was on the shot and that was thought to have cause *some* of the problems for one, but the solution was to put her on the pill instead.) I was not one who noticed symptoms while taking the pill, but four years ago, went off it, knowing we wanted a family. I was STUNNED at how much more positive and less tired I felt after going off the pill. STUNNED. Knowing what I know now I will never take the pill again. (OK, I say that now…)

And your pee pee pic? Priceless…same thing happened to me. But on Christmas Eve, after I was all dressed cute and our family was due at our house in 15 minutes. Silly mommy…

Colleen’s last blog post..Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow…

My suggestion is a follows:

As much as possible, avoid ingesting, smearing, or otherwise coming in contact with any chemicals that we aren’t meant to come in contact with.

Scientist are great about finding chemical fixes to alter specific things. They are shitty about realizing how interconnected the different systems are. This is true with the human body, an ecosystem, a cow, a farm, or any other complex system. There is a reason that a scientist can’t create an artificial system that is anywhere near as good as the original.

Ok, so I am a dirty hippie at heart.

(please note: not taking some medications may result in serious problems, including death)

Josh’s last blog post..3006 words

Lotus- I am happy that you are finally starting to feel some relief. I hope that the light continues, and that you just keep getting better and better. I don’t think I’ll ever go on the Pill again, not necessarily because of the negative side effects- but primarily because of the one side effect that I certainly didn’t intend : pregnancy. Why put extra hormones and such in my body if I’m just going to end up pregnant anyway?

Again, take it easy. I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. Don’t worry about the bills, a way will be made.

Hydes

Hydes Like Us’s last blog post..“Hai” there… “Ku”ld you help me?

ok, first of all I ALSO have a screwed up thyroid and have spent the past 5 years trying to get it sorted out… but thankfully I live in Canada and health care is free here. So it doesn’t cost me anything it just takes forever to get in to SEE anyone.
I also went for thyroid scans to see if my nodules were cancerous… they are not.
The doctor told me “the good news is you don’t have cancer. The bad news is that your body is attacking your thyroid and it will eventually just die”. um… ok.
The pill made me psychotic. Seriously. I was a mess. I was very lucky to have a doctor tell me it could do that. So I quit the pill. Now I have 3 kids and have moved on to post partum depression… but it is still better than pill-induced psychosis depression.
Anyway, my point in all this is that I am sorry you are going through this. It sucks. I understand.

Tara’s last blog post..Look at me!

I think the birth control pill is DANGEROUS. Of course, my current method (called “hoping for the best”) has its risks, too, but at least I’m not on the freaking pill.

Beck’s last blog post..Shriven

The latest issue of the Journal of Endocrinology details studies correlating the the incidence of depression with the consumption of cheese.

As someone who has suffered from clinical depression I know how horrible it can feel. I’m glad you are feeling better now and I hope your depression goes completely away and stays away!

Jeanette’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday

I was on the pill for about nine years before my first child and after I had her I tried to go back on a different type of pill. I couldn’t handle it. It made me so depressed and moody. I quit taking it too. We tried other methods for BC but eventually I did get pregnant. But we wanted more children. And then one more. And then I got my tubes tied.

Junebug’s last blog post..Fun Monday-The Bucket List

I hate the female body. There’s too much shit to figure out. And too much that these doctors can’t explain. So I get depressed too, I have hyperglycemia and recently I had to undergo a hysteroscopy and D&C only to be told afterwards that ‘nothing’s really wrong’ with me.

I want to be a dog. They’re simple enough.

Maria’s last blog post..I’ve come to realize…[Semi-Photo Blog]

Virtually every member of my immediate family has suffered from clinical depression at one time or another. It is a horrible, dehabilitating illness – I hope you continue to get some relief…

Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Art school in Paris? Mais oui!

Oh- so THAT’s how the pill works??? It kills your libido- it has nothing to do with ovulation after all!!! hee hee.

Thanks for the informative post- I love to learn about the medically obscure and unusual since I am medically obscure and unusual myself. And I had actually not ever heard of a possible link btw. the pill and depression before. (No, I don’t live under a rock.)

Seriously, I’m glad you’ve had a better week. I hope it continues to be better.

Also, Matt will feel much better when he sees your shirt- he has been on the receiving end of quite a lot of pee lately. I think hr’ll be glad to know he’s not the only one.

I just found you this morning.

I have also been depressed on the pill and once I stopped taking it, felt so much better. But still not GREAT!

I recently read about Vitamin D deficiency. I have been taking Vitamin D for 10 days now and I have noticed a huge improvement in my mood, energy level and sleep. I do not get outside much. I live in Utah and there are snowbanks taller than my 21 month old so we have not been out.

Now, because I am not taking BCP, and due to a bottle of red wine, I am getting ready to POAS because I have no self control!! LOL! But, if given the choice, I would rather be pregnant than depressed.

Have a great day!!

Connie’s last blog post..Menu Plan Monday ~ Feb 4th

My only experience with the Pill was in college. The side effects weren’t worth it for me. Luckily the guy I was dating thought that – and I quote – “You have enough hormornes floating around in there, you don’t need any more.” Can you see why he’s now my husband?

I hope thinks continue to get better for you!

Gretchen’s last blog post..Fresh Snow

This really helps explain my early 20s. Thank you for sharing your experience. It could help a lot of people.
And for what it’s worth, I think no pill is a good thing. The only way to know what’s going on with your body is to get rid of the chemicals.

Tonya’s last blog post..Heavy Metal Flashback

come by and get some stuff that will make you happy – i’m sure of it. if you want it. hang in there.

Paying it Forward
Paying it Forward Continued

chuck’s last blog post..Paying It Forward…Continued

I am slowly turning into a tree hugging, natural and homeopathic freak. I’m seeing huge results in my own family.

I strongly believe that putting chemicals into our bodies is never the right “fix”. The BC pill is a perfect example. They change your hormone levels. This can wreak havoc, depression being one example. Traditional doctors will see depression and try to give you another pill to “fix” it. The new pill will give you another unwelcome side effect which they will follow with another magic pill…and so on, and so on. The only ones benefiting are the doctors and the drug companies.

I’m proud of you for listening to your body and taking control of your health. I strongly recommend finding a Network Spinal Analysis Chiropractor. Email me for more info.

Mommycosm’s last blog post..This is just me, venting.

Kay’s story is true. I can verify. All I remember when I was in third grade was Kay puking on the toilet, then passing out because of her cramps. *cringe*

**gives virtual hug**

I know that is doesn’t really help, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I know that I know nothing about birth control pills, but doesn’t Yaz have a different kind of hormone that doesn’t make you moody? Check in to it.

Good for you for doing research and taking control of your life! I can only imagine how many people you may have helped because you shared your story! Thank you and hang in there!

Barb’s last blog post..Miss Utah 2008

Lotus love I wish would have caught onto this sooner. Years ago in order to regulate my PCOS and periods they put me on continuos bc, and I went into continuos hell.

While I am technically clinically depressed and suffer anxiety disorder, at the time I fought that diagnosis because I knew it was the bc they were pushing. It made a huge change.

One thing, when you can afford to see your PCP, do see them for depression, it is a silent, dangerous illness…trust me on that please. Mine got much worse the older my kids got.

Love you and you know if you need to talk, there are people who will listen….like me.

Penelope Anne’s last blog post..The Taxman Will Not Cometh

Hey there…this is a great post. It’s wonderful when people are honest and willing to share. I deal with severe depressive episodes as well (post partum depression had me hospitalized). I haven’t needed to take medication in a couple of years now, but I did for a long while, and I believe it saved my life. I cannot take birth control pills. Tried them all, it seems, and OTC was THE WORST. Hoped the NuvoRing would be better. Not. Synthetic hormones can really mess with anyone’s system, and for people who deal with even mild depression, it can make things so much worse. Good for you for doing your homework, and for writing about it here.

Angela’s last blog post..Warm Fuzzies

I’m glad you took the initiative to research and come up with a plan of your own. Sometimes the Dr.s get so hyper focused that they forget about other outside contributing factors. I hope you feel much much much better soon. *HUGS* from a complete stranger, makes ya feel good huh?

I feel like the pee stain is an ink blot…is there a right answer? Because I am 100% sure that it is the Marshmallow man destroying the city. and the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater in the background.

Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..Atta Boy

Lotus,
Wow. It’s so frustrating.
I hope you continue to see/feel improvement now that your off BC. I hope the Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis gets resolved for you soon. I went off Ortho-Tri-Cyclen b/c I was having menstrual migraines. Not only have my migraines ceased, I also noticed that I’ve been much less moody, less prone to anger, and have had more of a sex drive.

Who knew? For 2 years I’ve gone to my PCP and my Gyn (who’s an endocrinologist) and neither one ever suggested it might be the pill that was causing my headaches. Moral of the story – do your research and take charge of your own healthcare.

Best,
Kelsi

Kelsi’s last blog post..Dear Dean Letter

I, too, have experienced the extreme loss of libido and energy and the equally extreme gain of depression and bitchiness. I was starting to link it to the pill (Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo) in my case, also. A week ago I just stopped taking them. I can’t stand it anymore. ALREADY I feel a lot more forgiving, generous, and kind toward my husband. Hormones are potent, potentially dangerous bitches, man, and I have taken more than enough. Time to investigate hormone-free options.

You could have taken that picture of me just about a week ago! The things that just aren’t so gross anymore after you have kids… Amazing, isn’t it?!

Been so out of it lately FH.
Been thinking of you though…I mean come on…you are going to be my prom date.
I’m relieved you’re feeling better Lotus

Bill’s last blog post..It Takes More Than Wet Naps to Baby Proof Your Home

Oh, hon…so sorry you had to deal w/ the depression on top of all of the other medical stuffs…I have FINALLY broken the depressions cycle… I have never been on the pill…refused despite heavy pressure from hubby, because I KNOW I’m sensitive to those hormones…I finally changed to ORGANIC MILK, which has also helped the mood swings, etc. that go with PMS and depression. Amazing the difference.

Laura’s last blog post..What does community look like, to you?

I promise I read all the way through. You know, I’m not on the pill anymore, but you’ve made me think back to when I was, and I wonder now how much the pill contributed to my state of mind then.

I’m glad you’ve found some answers for yourself. I hope the good changes continue and that you and your family all enjoy those benefits.

Love reading your blog. BTW, the stain on your shirt looks like a ghost. Am I the only one who saw that? (nope, I just scrolled up and found that I’m not!)

Jennifer’s last blog post..Stitches

I definitely didn’t skip your medical stuff, but the end is just so perfect I had to ask, this couldn’t have been the first time that has happened could it? I’ve been an Uncle since I was in Kindergarten (I’m 20 now) and have been peed on through diapers even at least 6 times.

Aggort’s last blog post..Keepin’ With the Trend

I don’t take anything..nada.. I haven’t taken the pill in a million years.. I am what I am I guess. I get really moody when I’m ovulating.I can tell. Hubby can tell. Oh well.

I bet you that the combinations of a million different percreptions is what makes my mother a bit wackadoodle (clinical term). Since I can remember she takes hormones, blood pressure meds, and I don’t even know what the rest of them are..for a few years in the 80′s she couldn’t/wouldn’t get out of bed. That was fun, let me tell you.

It’s 2008 though and you would think that your doctor..and not the internet would be able to help with all the shit going on. But I guess not..My face becomes paralyzed (almost) and the hospital tells me I have a virus.. It’s back to normal..but they don’t know. I think if you want to take control of your health it’s a full time fricking job. Don’t you think?

..so yeah, I didn’t just skip to the funny..but OMG that is a big stain. Thank you for NOT showing me a hiney photo…they are just TOO cute…

MP’s last blog post..MP Book Review

Hi there,

Love your blog. I haven’t posted before but thought I would share with you. I am being treated for depression and anxiety, and I know firsthand that it is a rough road. Please see your doctor, there is much that can be done. Also, if insurance is an issue, many doctors have tons of samples of the drugs, and generally will give them to you if expense is a concern. Also, it can give you an opportunity to test them before you have to shell out money for something you don’t know will work or not. I happen to be on Wellbutrin, and the one major great side effect of it is that your libido gets majorly jump started on it. In fact, it kind of takes things to a new all time high. Hey, there has to be an upside when you’re dealing with major mental issues! I wish you all the best and would be happy to try to answer any questions you might have about the meds, etc. feel free to email me. – Deb

My uncle, the pharmacist, always used to tell us doctors don’t really know much when it comes to drugs. If you want information as a pharmacist. This is REALLY good advice.

Eve’s last blog post..A Brief Political Announcement

Oops! That should say “ask a pharmacist.”

Eve’s last blog post..A Brief Political Announcement

I never had any problems with The Pill…well other than that teeny tiny little GETTING KNOCKED UP WHILE ON IT thing. I just tell Dylan that he was very much MEANT to be. I did find after we had Noah and I got the big snip that NOT being on some form of birth control has been weird. My periods are from hell now. I’m not 100% sure if this is from no BC or from getting older (we go thru menopause really really early in my family.)

I hope you find that your GP can help you. I had some depression/anxiety problems about 10 years ago and it was horrible. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s terrible the things our own minds can do to us.

Tasina’s last blog post..Say it with cats

I was never really aware of that effect of birth control! That is wonderful that in as little as a week you feel better and others notice a positive difference in you. Here’s to feeling better!

And before I read the funny at the end and realized what the picture was, I was thinking, “How can a purple ghost sweatshirt be funny?” Braden peed a ghost on your shirt!

Jenski’s last blog post..I wouldn’t want to cheat

I think the medical profession can be awfully cavalier about something only women ingest on a daily basis that fucks with their hormones. As if it’s no big deal. For me, it wasn’t. But it isn’t true of a lot of women, and I don’t remember anyone ever asking me if I was having any emotional side effects from the Pill when I was on it for…oh…12 years.

I’m sorry you had to find this out on your own. It sucks that your doctors didn’t help you, and that mine probably wouldn’t help me either. In this world of the co-pay, doctors just want you out the door so the next $20 can come in.

Candy’s last blog post..Sufragette City

I am so glad you have some relief. The thyroid crap is confusing as it is, don’t want to treat you, do want to treat you, cancerous nodules. Been there done all of that. I have had friends get rid of their depression just taking themselves off the pill. Now they are depressed because they are pregnant (JUST KIDDING!!)

The picture just made me laugh. I think I have had more urine and poop on me the past year than in my whole life and that is after raising a child of my own. Yes I am the proud owner of 2 in sync grandpissers!

Kay’s last blog post..You tell ‘em buddy

Hey there sweetie! I hope you continue to feel better.

I am Catholic and my best friend and her husband teach the local Natural Family Planning classes. Many non-Catholics take the class (it is NOT the rhythm method!!) because they are natural/organic types who don’t want to put more chemicals in their bodies and often also because of this exact type of side effect of the pill.

It’s something to consider. It also comes in handy when you want to conceive – it’s how we got Honey Bear without intervention.

Love ya!!

Amy

amy’s last blog post..Just Don’t Barf On The Suede
Twitter: amy2boys

I don’t do well on the pill either, but surprisingly I do ok on the patch.
I really hope that stopping the pill will have a good effect on you! and that the good feelings last!

Jenty’s last blog post..What’s on my mind
Twitter: jenty

Another thing I just thought of is that girls on Accutane are supposed to take birth control. Some people say–I don’t know if it’s been proven and don’t have time to look it up now–that their is an Accutane / depression correlation. I’m sure the OTC I was taking while on Accutane wasn’t making me my happiest. Come to think of it, I think that’s when I was on Zoloft, too. Hmmm.

Dre the Texican’s last blog post..Yes, People, I’ve Always Been Extraordinary

YOU GO LOTUS! I am right there with you. only 8 more days till i get to meet my endo. *crosses fingers* i hope they can do something for me as you know i’m in the same boat as you.

I have no idea how/if the pill would affect me since I have never taken it. I would write more but i have to go chase down the dog and give him his benadryl.. *sighs* back to the trenches

Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..Cat Snuggles

Sounds like you may have found the culprit! Good for you! Just be careful that while you are off the pill that you use another form of birth control, unless you are ready for another baby…Just a caution.

Adena’s last blog post..Nervous

Unfortunately, over the years, I have found if I’m not an advocate for my or my kids health care, I’ll slip through the over booked, routine, pigeoned-holed, health care system. I know not ALL in the medical profession is like this. But my experience has been more are than not.

Why did you have to figure out to try getting off the pill? You researched it and saw your symptoms and gave it a shot. So far, so good and I hope it is a BIG part of good. But why didn’t your doctor listen to what you have been saying and know this? Suggest this?

Grrrr, the crappiest , most expensive health care system and it appears the only thing we are guaranteed is it will most likely fail us.

(((hugs))) sending good wishes.

Nancy’s last blog post..FAT Tuesday

Wow Lotus.
I mean it.
Firstly, I don’t even know if you will make it to the end of all these comments…comment jealousy much?

Anyway, if you do, I’m sorry it cost you all that money to get jack.
I think that sucks and I feel very very strongly about paying money for nothing.

I am glad that you are feeling a bit better though and I hope that continues.

For me, your blog was never about the funny. it was about you. just as you are.

In regards to your depression and what appears to be a lack of insurance, if stopping the pill doesn’t help enough, try going to your county’s health dept. They offer counseling and can often prescribe medication for free or a much reduced charge.

I stopped taking the pill because I had zero sex drive and noticed my depression(which is also treated by Prozac) is less of a problem. Wish someone would have shared that with me since I’ve been on the pill for 10 years and struggled with depression that entire time.

Best of luck.

I’m sure you’ve looked into every possible treatment…

but, just in case…

have you looked into holistic measures of treatment?

what about dietary treatments?

Sometimes a simple change in the way you eat can do wonders to heal the body.

Just a thought.

Hope you feel better!

LunaNik’s last blog post..Lonely Girl

Hi. New-ish to your blog. Haven’t read ALL the comments so pardon if I’m repeating. I appreciate your candor (as well as your humor in other posts). I, too, suffered from depression, mine post partum, and hashimotos. I’m sure I’m missing info from previous posts but why is no doctor putting you on Synthroid or the like? I have been on meds for the thyroid for about 15 years and it has been great. One reader is right, B complex does help with depression but if you can afford to see a doctor who can prescribe an anti-depressant, I’d recommend it. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one. I tried the natural ways but ultimately the meds can really help. I am a different person now than I have been since in my teens. Much lighter, happier, funnier. Dark times before. Good luck.

you have so many comments i couldnt possibly get through them. maybe i should blog about it and link back to you hmmm?

jill’s last blog post..Super Tuesday/Negative Campaigning Humor

hey Lotus – I hope not taking the pills works for you! I can’t even imagine. I am the opposite of you though. Since having babies, my PMS was unbearable. Migraines, vomiting..etc I finally got back on the pill (Mircette) and I have been 100% better! Good luck girl!

Karen’s last blog post..Relay for Life

thank you for your honest and poignant post. Hopefully this will work for you….it sounds like it already is!!

Alison’s last blog post..Awards…Awards!!!!

Some day I will take the time to expand on this but for now just wanted to say this was an excellent post!!!! Not because your misery is my entertainment but that this post is filled with information, much of what I personally related to, but also because this shows how human and willing to put yourself out there you are!! I used to be on several antidepressents,different birth control pills and was diagnosed for years with high anxiety and clinical depression.Since I stopped breastfeeding 5 months ago, stopped taking the anti depressents and finally stopped the pill I feel like a new happy person…go figure……………..

Alright, I’ve been lurking around here for a lil’ bit but now I have to get in on the action. I have Hashimoto’s too. and am super sensitive to hormone fulctuations. BAH. And I just saw my endo this week and now to top it off, I’m diabetic.

Anyhow. I KNOW what you’re going through. Down to the sad, sorry depressed bit. I’ve been there. I’m doing it.

And in my own experiences, you HAVE to do the research. I spent so many years going to doctors who would blow me off, I’m just lucky to finally have found 2 I LOVE that actually really listen to me and believe me.

and this comment is hella long. anyways ~hugs~

Oh, and did you know that instead of taking synthroid or levoxyl or whatever for the thyroid, that you can actually get the 2 pure hormones of T3 and T4?

Cause you can. I’m just saying.

Oh, and did you know that instead of taking synthroid or levoxyl or whatever for the thyroid, that you can actually get the 2 pure hormones of T3 and T4?

Then you can adjust either one instead of having to up both. I’m just saying…..

Oh sweetie. I’m so very sorry you’re having to go through all of this. I do hope that stopping the pill will at least helps with the effects of depression. I can attest that I definitely felt many of those symptoms that you mentioned while on Ortho-tri-cyclen. I was never able to stay on it for very long because I just felt so awful. In fact, most brands of birth control did. Just be careful….it was while I was switching birth control that we created a baby

Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Thank You and Proper Comment Etiquette…

I totally called that! Remember when I said that it would be funny if he peed on you while you were exercizing? Well it’s funny!

Your depression however is not funny. I hope you continue to feel better.

mamafabulosity’s last blog post..I’m in love!

I had terrible mood swings when I was on the pill (I tried several different kinds) and I switched to the Nuva Ring a few years ago. My libido still sucks (boo!) but my mood is MUCH better (although not perfect) so I know what you’re going through. You’re making me consider trying to get off it to see what happens so please keep us updated!

Lottifish’s last blog post..Boo on Me!

Two people very close to me have been struggling with depression lately and both are on the pill. I just emailed them your link.

I have not been on the pill since 2002. In between kids I charted my cycle. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler is an AMAZING book.

Taking Charge Of Your Fertility.

All women should read it, if only to better understand our bodies.

xo

Angella’s last blog post..Get Dirty And Get Clean

Dang you get lots of blog love.

You know I’m on your side with this whole HT crapola. Wish I had bucket loads of $$$$ to send so you wouldn’t have to worry about the finances on top of all the other stress.

You know drs. love it when you self diagnose. What the hell are we supposed to do when they treat us like we are crazy and don’t have time to listen?

I read someone’s post about Evening primrose oil. Might have to give that looksy myself.

take care:)

oliveoyl64′s last blog post..Thrifted goodies

Sounds like you’ve been doing it rough….I know how it feels. I hope you continue to find an improvement.

LOL at your picture. Now you’re a REAL mum!!!

Lightening’s last blog post..How Egg-Citing!!!!

I don’t have many wise words for you, just words of support. Hormomes are a b_tch, believe me, I know. And although there are many benefits to taking The Pill, as I have for so many years, there are also benefits NOT taking it. Nobody knows your body better than you. You are your own best advocate.

Good luck, sweetie.

Carrie’s last blog post..All Signs Say “Mom Needs a Vacation!”

If you want something done, you do it yourself.

I have googled vaginismus and irritable bowel syndrome, because I have been told by my doctor that I have been diagnosed with both of these.

when I googled vaginimus, apart from all the facts, it told me how to CURE it, what to do and what not to do. I tried this and was fine A MONTH later. I actually found that my partner at the time had performance anxiety which triggered it for me. There were step by step instructions on how to fix it (which coincidently have somethign to do with Veronica’s post) and I fixed it.

When I googled IBS, there were also instructions on what to avoid eating to help it. Guess who hasn’t had killer pains for about 3 months? All I have to do is avoid a lot of wheat and dairy. Easy.

So looking up info is good.

As to the pill. I was a healthy (skinny!!!!) girl before I started. I went on a ‘normal’ one (cheapo) and put on weight which to this day I cannot shift. I went on another which was supposed to suppress my apetite, didn’t work. Then after 6 months when I was huge, I was prescribed a different one. I cant actually remember what it has in it, but have written down what you have written to have a look tonight.

It is excellent, and I feel myself. I have stopped gaining weight, have lost a little and now feel a lot more ‘normal.’ The thing with this is that at different times of the month I feel different, I get my libido after my period and lose it I week before. I get emotional the week I get my period but apart from that everything is normal. I feel good and dont feel like I did before. I also take vitamins.

Thankyou for that interesting post because, quite frankly, every woman/girl needs to know about their options for birth control.

I never felt right/normal when on BC and refused to go back on after any of my pregnancies because suddenly I felt good. It always messed with my sleep which then causes all sorts of pain because your body never has a chance to fully heal. I would end up with fibromyalgia type symptoms due to poor sleep and not feeling like myself. Getting off BC, getting good sleep and systematic regular very gentle exercise like walking ( you get extra points for if it is outside in the sunshine) is what helped me. Good luck…we are cheering ya on.

HRH’s last blog post..Freely giving away priceless advice…

I just wanted to say thank you for this post. Ortho-Tri-Cyclen was the nightmare Pill I was on between Miss Lyss and Jake… hence, Jake. It was horrible. Horrible doesn’t cover it- I was a trainwreck . Severely depressed, angry… it was ugly in my head too, and there was no barrier between head and mouth. You are super courageous to blog about this, and definitely not alone. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this, but it WILL get better!!!

Autumn’s last blog post..Featured Article

How in God’s green earth can you read/respond to 93 comments???? Now allow me to make it 94.

Doctors seem to LOVE the pill. I was on the pill for 19 years when I talked to my doctor about going off of it to see how that would effect my chemistry. She suggested I change pills instead. I didn’t have bad side-effects, I just wanted to know what I’d feel like clean of chemicals. I mean I’d spent the vast majority of my sexual maturity with artificial hormones circulating through my system. I let her talk me into trying a different pill which also caused no aparrent bad side effects but made my boobs humongous and swollen (there are worse things)

Finally I did go off the pill and it makes me really happy. Every night I joyfully remember that I don’t have to take it! One less responsibility, one less thing to remember though I still do. I LOVE being off the pill.

Now here’s something you might not want to hear: regular exercise really helps head off depression. I see no reason why blasting your awesomest music and dancing your Kevin and Leroys off for half an hour every other day wouldn’t count. Braden would probably enjoy it too.

If you want something more structured and you have an old xbox (not the new 360) or a playstation 2 you could try yourselffitness:
http://www.amazon.com/RESPONDESIGN-30002-Yourself-Fitness/dp/B0007PNEGA/ref=pd_sim_vg?ie=UTF8&qid=1202255322&sr=8-1

I’ve been using it for three-and-a-half years and I love it. It’s an interactive game. It evaluates where you are and goes at your pace. It’s never the same workout twice and you earn different environments and music as you go along so it doesn’t get boring. It’s the best $35 I ever spent. You can get it for under $20 used. Added bonuses – no going to a gym and waiting around for other people, no commute, you do it on your schedule, wear what you want, shower/don’t shower… I could go on.

Of course if you tell anyone that’s what you’re doing for exercise they laugh their asses off at you. Jerks!

Now that it took me an hour to write that I’m sure you’re up to 112 comments.

I hope you continue to feel better!

Melissa’s last blog post..Here I Am At Precinct 3

Dude! The pill messed me UP!!! We are done having babies so I had an IUD put in and it’s awesome!! If you get the book “Taking charge of your fertility” you’ll be able to do your own birth control by taking your temperature everyday. Then, if you decide on more babies – you’ll know when your best chance for conception is.

Melodie’s last blog post..Score!!!! A lenghty tale of success at the thrift store!

I am blown away at the response to this post, guys!

I am so sorry for any of you that have had to experience anything similar – but thank you so much for saying so here. I hope that women who haven’t yet thought of this connection will stumble across our words here and that it will make a difference!

Thank you ALL SO MUCH for your support, stories, words of encouragement and loving kindness.

It means so much to me! Keep it coming!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

DAMN!!! 96 comments!! You are popular!

I’ve been rethinking my birth control. I was never on it until after I had Aidan and I feel like a maniac. I have the IUC, Mirena, inserted that’s good for 5 years.

I’m thinking about having it removed.

Good for you feeling better!!

A Jill of All Trades’s last blog post..Basketball, tattoos and a new car.

You know, it’s funny, I went on the pill to help with crippling cramps and other fun period stuff. And then I started getting depressed and my sex drive went in the toilet.

Even after I stopped taking the pill, I still had tendencies toward depression and sex? Well, if I have to, I guess. (I characterized my interest in sex to my OB as one step above mentally composing a grocery list while doing the deed.)

I decided to get an IUD (Mirena) in November while we make sure that Lucy is our last baby.

WOW! What a difference. Suddenly, I have a sex drive again. Not only that, but I’m HORNY! (Yeah, I know you all wanted to know that about me!) And I’m not (as much of) a crank, too.

I hope that you can find a solution that works for you. Keep at it!

And, from the tax advisor side of me, you can write off a lot of the medical bills (if you itemize deductions and if they exceed a certain portion of your income). I know that doesn’t make paying the bills any easier, but you at least get some of that money back. Feel free to email me if you need/want help with that part of it.

Big hugs to you!

Erin’s last blog post..Shhhhhhhhh!!

ok I don’t have much time now so I have to go back to read the medical stuff… but as for the pee part… is it just me, or does it totally look like the Bogeyman from Nightmare Before Christmas?

sugarplumsmom’s last blog post..I’m In My House, Spying on Your Backyard

I was on the pill for a total of 5 weeks and I stopped taking it because I felt “wrong” somehow. I just didn’t feel like myself at all. Now I look back on it and I realize I probably saved myself a lot of misery. I have had terrible bouts of depression in my adult life, but I believe my natural hormone cycles help more than anything. Anyway, my point was if you feel better, stay off the pill. There are alternatives. Hope you feel better soon!

Nina’s last blog post..$1384

That’s one of the reasons I never considered birth control. I’m with Jenni (just above me). And, I am a good example of NFP who has been married 9 years with 1 child.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC’s last blog post..I’m Fat & It’s Tuesday…Happy Mardi Gras!

I so don’t have the energy to read 108 previous comments, but I just wanted to say, “Good for you!”

And if Braden the second is not in the plans, you can always try Natural Family Planning. It may seem weird or gross, but once you get the hang of it, it is so easy.

We have been using it our entire marriage. OK, maybe I’m not the best example, because we do have 4 kids in 5 1/2 years, but they were planned.

Jenni’s last blog post..I’ll Get Down Now

first: I love the picture! eww! 2nd: i agree 100% about the birth control. (which is also why i have 4 kids). i too struggle with depression and i know how difficult it can be to “fake nice”. hang in there girl!

You have a ton of comments, but I’ll still comment anyway. I had terrible horrible depression when I got on the pill. I was on it for many years. And, like you, not a single doctor suggested it could be the pill. I got put on anti-depressants (which further fucked up the libido (pun intended) completely destroying it.) I got off of the anti-depressants (because they didn’t do a whole lot) and I got off the pill because I was not in a relationship and got happier and got in another relationship and got back on the pill and got depressed again. I realized that it was just messing with me too much (I also had HORRIBLE TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD HEADACHES as well) – and oops! Once I was off, I got pregnant! So, there is that side effect of getting off of it.

I never went back on the pill after child #1 was born, and oops! Got pregnant again! Go figure! I finally figured out what caused pregnancy. I got an IUD – and had 15 day periods on a 24 day cycle, which was terrible. I then got on the Mirena IUD, I was concerned because it has hormones in it. But, apparently it’s so little that it doesn’t absorbe too much into the body. This has been the best birth control ever (FOR ME). I only have very very very light periods now, I don’t have headaches or depression. I still get cramps, but that’s ok. It took about 6 months to regulate with it.

So, now, I’m not getting pregnant. I’m happily married. My libido is normal for a 35 year old and I’m not crushed with horrible depression.

Sorry the comment was so long. It’s good to hear an update from you though.

Hecticmom Undone’s last blog post..Dinner Conversation

It’s unfortunate that appropriate medical care isn’t accessible to everyone in need, when they need it.

Good luck, Lotus. I’m glad you’ve seen a difference since you stopped the pill. I hope things keep looking up!

Leslie’s last blog post..The Bratz Bathroom Bummer

I have to hop in at the end of all these massive comments! First, many hugs to you. I hope you can find something that helps you soon. Second – I think Dr.’s can be really stupid when it comes to the pill. 8 years ago we found out my dad had a blood clotting disorder, which is hereditary and I’m now being monitored for…in all of 7 years, not one Dr. ever made the connection between the pill increasing a woman’s blood clotting chances and this blood disorder I’m at risk for. Add in another blood disorder that we found out my mom and I had, and finally (after 7 years and about 4 docs), my new ob/gyn said “Wait a minute…”

Now, I’m no longer on the pill, and she was quite furious at how many Dr.’s missed this apparently obvious thing.

Sheesh.

(But that last picture is why I have an IUD in for now – eyew!!!!!)

I was on the pill for 13 years. During that time I had lots of health problems, and I had some serious mood issues, too. I never really made the connection until I went off the pill, but once I stopped, I started to feel so much better. I have since vowed to myself that I will never go back to hormonal birth control methods.

I hope you continue to feel improvements.

I’m glad you’re sharing your story on this. Clearly you’ve struck a chord with a lot of women.

alejna’s last blog post..family outing

Well, first and foremost….you have 112 comments and I don’t know if you will even have time to read this! You are a super popular chick!

I think the pill is certainly a huge possibility. I had a hysterectomy 2yrs ago (at the ripe ole’ age of 31). I am on no hormone replacement due to aggravations that were to steep to handle. So, I have no hormones. My point??? I am now suffering serious bouts of anxiety and panic attacks. I’m pretty sure I was close to being depressed. My family suffers as well as my mood swings are impossible to live with at times! Thank God I have a supportive family, hubby and friends! I think that either side of the spectrum (too many raging hormones or no hormones to speak of) gives you serious mental illnesses. I am now on effexor (check with your insurance before even consulting with a dr as it is very expensive) and it is working okay! The side effects are diarreah (sp?) and serious stomach problems but it’s so much better then being hindered by panic attacks! If just going off of the pill doesn’t work, then make one appointment with a family dr and insist on either effexor or zoloft! Both are non-addictive!

I’m sighing a big breathe of relief right now! Finally, Finally, someone out there feels my pains!!! I wish you didn’t however, it doesn’t make me feel so secluded! I hope you can say the same! :0)

Keep your chin up!!!!

Krissy’s last blog post..I’m a killing machine!!!

Wow. What a story. I’m so sorry for you, Lotus, but I’m also happy you have started to feel better already.

As Krissy just said, who knows if you will have time to read this, but in case you don’t, I will make sure to try again in a couple days.

I have left something for you in my blog… you’ll probably be surprised, but I do read your blog and like it very much.

Cheers!

Gabriel’s last blog post..Another recognition

I have long since decided that a) God is a man (because only a man would have set things up this way) and b) He messed up with us women (the new and improved version of man, of course) in that he got our reproductive system backwards!

In His defense, I guess it was the only way to do it back then, as I guess the Garden of Eden, lovely though it must have been, was probably pretty slim pickin’s for the medical facilities this would require:

WHY can’t we women just go have a uterus and ovaries implanted when we want to have children, and then, when we’re done, have them taken out again? WTF is the big idea with a period, anyway?? (And for those who wanna tell me that it’s our ‘punishment’ for eating the apple, are you also then telling me God had some other plan for reproduction of the human species before Eve took that fateful bite? Come on now…)

Of course, back then, Adam and Eve’s primary purpose was to reproduce (how come we only read about Cain and Abel?) and populate the Earth, so I’m thinkin’ Eve musta needed her uterus a whole damn lot more than I have.

See…if we didn’t have this friggin’ equipment from birth, then we wouldn’t have PMS, we wouldn’t need BC Pills and the side effects they cause, we wouldn’t have TSS or monthly cramps…and I wouldn’t be about to become a grandma!

I mean – isn’t it a much better plan to have to go get some parts to reproduce? Then the ill-prepared and unthinking among us (a.k.a. Oldest Son and girlfriend) would not become parents 20 light years before they’re ready.

At the very least, can’t we just go sign up for elective hysterectomies when we’re done with our parts? Or how about uterus/ovary transplants? I’d give my parts to someone whose parts aren’t cooperating…in a heartbeat.

I know I’ve blythely tromped over about a hundred serious issues in this comment (that is now approaching War and Peace length), but seriously, girl, this shit is backwards.

But then, I think too that it ought to be next to freakin’ impossible to get married and a piece o’ cake to get divorced – that shit is backwards, too.

Just sayin’…

All this to say I hope getting off the pill brightens your life and the lives of those you love. Life’s too short to spend it miserable, girl, so GOOD.ON.YOU for taking charge of a shitty situation, doing your own research, and making the decision to give it a try. You ROCK!

Suzanne Says…’s last blog post..We Are What We Do

hope things work out ok for you..

i am glad i am not the only one who has been peed on..

I was one of the lucky ones who never suffered depression with or without the pill, which I stayed on since I got pregnant at the drop of a hat the minute I stopped taking it. I haven’t taken it since 1990 (hysterectomy) and didn’t notice any difference in my life until a few months after I married my second hubby. He suffers from chronic clinical depression, also reactive psychotic depression, also several other things, lately I find that I am “down” a lot and just don’t feel like myself. I cheer myself up by coming here and reading about Braden and your day to day life, so thanks for helping me.

I haven’t known you for very long, but you seem like a woman who brings happy to a lot of people. I hope that you can find your happy too, because YOU SO DESERVE IT

cookiebitch’s last blog post..MY APOLOGIES TO THE COWS

I did not read all the comments.. umm because you had a billion of them.. LOL plus I did not want to take away what I felt from reading this.. which was PURE.. pure emotion that you posted beautifully. You are an amazingly talented, beautiful, TALENTED, funny, heart warming mom, wife, daughter.. Have I mentioned talented. Your blog puts a smile on my face daily.. and I did not even cruise to find the funny part of this post. I hope your journey to a new you is full of healthy light and love.

Kim’s last blog post..No Cheese for Mommy?

You now officially rival The Pioneer Woman for most comments. At least, according to me.

I was on the pill for about 15 years. Since trying to conceive Son, I’ve stayed off. I’m so much happier. Thinner. Nicer. Husband is so much more nervous. But I’m done with hormones that my own body didn’t make. I say, YOU GO, GIRL! Good for you. I hope you continue to feel better and better.

Sending much lurv…

MommyTime’s last blog post..8pm. Lights Out.

Really great post & no need for funny. This should be less about entertaining the silent masses (incl. me) and should actually be something useful for you–even on shitty days. Many good thoughts going your way. Thanks again for blogging your world

the fruitfemme’s last blog post..Theory & Practice

[...] inserted this into my post on Tuesday, thinking it was funny.  Several of you pointed out that it looks like [...]

I haven’t read through all the comments, but I wanted to let you know that I had many of the same issues and doctors who thought I was crazy when I complained about pills (both Triphasal and TriLevlen which are supposed to be the same, but reacted differently in my body and both of which are no longer available). I’ve tried everything to no avail (after being happy on TriLevlen for 10 years, it turned on me and I went through every other pill plus the ring). And now I have a diaphragm. The ladies at the Dr.’s office laughed at me, but you gotta do what you gotta do and I don’t want any more fake hormones!

I ran into the EXACT same issues when I was on the Pill and then the Depo shot – depression (adding on the depression and PPD I already was dealing with) and total lack of sex drive.

I got off both forms of birth control and onto Cymbalta and I feel much better.

Christine’s last blog post..There’s a New Sheriff in Town – Izea Ranks!

Great post!!! I have been struggling with depression and anxieity and moodiness basically since I was pregnant with my youngest, who is now 25 months old. I have tried around 4 different meds for it. After I gave birth, I started using the shot for bc. It KILLED what libido I had left! After a year, I got off of it and onto the pill. I stopped taking the pill back in August or so. No reason, we weren’t trying to conceive, I just stopped. I am just now starting to get a little bit of that libido back. Very little. WHY is this not more widely known!!!!!!! Thank you for posting about this and spreading the word!

Wow. Thinking of you and wishing you well. I appreciate your sense of humor despite all that is crushing down on you. I had hypothyroidism and 1/2 of my thyroid removed due to a tumor (not cancer thankfully) – got sick a lot and was constantly tired. Really sucks when you have kids to care for. And, I do think hormones mess us up and play a huge factor in our well being. Just realize that it’s your body and not you!

Michelle’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to Me And My Drum

I could write a book about my experiences with hypothyroidism and birth control. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and put on .1 mg of Synthoid, and I finally had energy. While in college I had to switch doctors because of insurance and they slowly lowered my dose to the point I wasn’t taking any at all. By the time I graduated from college I was really sick- pain allover my body, no energy, but couldn’t sleep- I was so bad that after being accepted into grad school I just couldn’t go. The doctors said I had fibromyalgia, and tried all sorts of medications, which didn’t help. I was living at home with my folks and couldn’t work. I finally went to my doctor(who had been my highschool sunday school teacher) and told him I felt like Shit and please give me synthroid again. He finally decided to give me one months prescription, and the very next day I felt like my old self. I promptly found a new doctor, and have been very adamant with him that I must stay on Synthroid. He has tried to raise and lower the dose, but we always come back to .1mg.
My experience with birth control was terrible, and it has made it difficult for me to get insurance. Just before I got married I went on the pill, and also developed severe migraines. Since my job was really stressful, and we planed the wedding in three months it didn’t even occur to me that it could be due to BC. I went to a couple of doctors and finally had a preventative medication prescribed that really helped for awhile, but the side effects were terrible. In all my doctors visits they never even mentioned that BC could be a factor. I eventually had a MRI to rule out brain tumors(my face had been numb for 3 weeks, and I had a constant headache), and then my husband was doing research online and saw all this stuff about BC and the other med I was on. We decided to go that I would go off everything but the synthroid and my symptoms went away within a couple of days.
It is amazing how great I feel now– please try and find a different doctor, and if you want to come to Atlanta I’ll give you the name of my guy.

I didn’t fast forward at all because I too suffer from clinical depression and have for over 20 years. In recent years I have had two terrifying episodes of “medically recalcitrant major depression.” I am currently undergoing ECT which has been miraculously successful in treating my condition.

On my blog you can click on the category depression and it will take you to the posts in which I discuss my experiences or review books. The one I would most highly recommend is Tracy Thompson’s The Ghost in the House.

Di’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 67)

It is so ironic that you have depression. I visit your blog to brighten my mood because I am dealing with debilitating depression (I write about it in my blog…it has been quite therapeutic).

I had no idea that we were on the same journey.

Well, if you are along with me for the ride, I feel more hopeful.

*hugs* my friend.

Catherine’s last blog post..MeMe of The Ominous Comma

Oh Lotus, I know your pain. BC pills, even the lowest dose, always activated my depression into high gear and from my dr. visits always thought it was just something weird with me that I couldn’t take BCs. Haven’t taken BCs in years because my mental health takes precedence. You’ll be feeling much better before long xoxo

Patsy’s last blog post..Leap of Faith

I was on Ortho Tri for 5 years after the birth of my son. I changed insurance and they stuck me on the generic version. My lebido SKYROCKETED! I’ve been back on Ortho Tri for 2 months and the sex drive is down the drain once more. I cant get back on the generic until April. Thank you for this post, I know I’m not alone now.

Miss’s last blog post..And it begins

Lotus!!!!!

Have finally caught up with you after NaBloPoMoFo and changed my blogroll accordingly.

Just wanted to say that my mom has struggled with hypothyroidism for over 40 years (and is currently not at the optimum dosage of medication, trying to get back in balance). So I feel you, girl.

Big-time kudos to you for taking your health into your own hands and doing the research on BC pills. I’m hoping everything works out soon. It’s a good sign Missy Libido is back in tha house, yo!

BTW, don’t know if you and Mr. Lotus were thinking of baking another one anytime soon, but low thyroid can also affect fertility. (I know this because I wondered if I was slow to conceive because of any thyroid imbalance I possibly inherited from my mom. Turns out no and no.) Just thought I’d throw that in the mix.

Take good care of yourself and that yummy little doughboy,
Cynematic

I suffered debilitating depression while on depo-provera, another form of hormonal bc. I didn’t return a single phone call from even my best friends for almost a year. I hear where you’re coming from. I hope that you will keep feeling better and better.

badness jones’s last blog post..Too Much Information – My 101st Post!

I loved your honesty in this post, thank you.

Completely random coincidence: I was reading another blog this morning and came across a post by another gal with Hashimoto disease, and I wasn’t sure if you knew other people who had it. Sometimes it’s good to share experiences. Anyhow, here’s the post:

http://www.awildride.net/blog/2008/02/what_really_helped_me_early.html

Jen Zug’s last blog post..A Wild Ride: muddling through expectations.

Dear Lotus,

Dooce recommended “The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children, and Struggling with Depression” in an article she wrote somewhere on the internet, and when i got it out from the library, i absolutely couldn’t stop reading it.

i know that “maternal depression” isn’t really what’s going on with you, but Tracy Thompson describes in several chapters what is going on with the chemistry and neurology of depression, and it’s very illuminating.

i didn’t read the 137 comments to see whether someone has already mentioned this book, but i really, REALLY recommend it even if you’re just looking to inform yourself about WHAT THE EFF MIGHT BE GOING ON.

i’m sorry you’re doing poorly. i really am. depression is high on my list of LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS TO DO IN MY SPARE TIME. but you bring so much joy and delight to so many people on the internet, you know.

what a lovely family you are.

love, from leila

leila’s last blog post..the news i’m crying about

Wow Lotus, I’m glad you opened yourself up to share this article. I have some of those symptoms, as I also take birth control. I’m going to speak to my doctor about this on my next visit. Thanks again, and I’m here to brighten your day whenever you need it! Much Love!

I can identify with you all the way on this.

I can’t take the pill because I literally am a lunatic while on it. I have tried 4 different types and none worked. I am currently using the nuva ring and I have to say that has worked the best so far in terms of my hormones and me not carrying around baseball bat while crying uncontrollably. The hormone is lower than most pills and it doesn’t travel through your blood (body) which makes a real difference in me. I wish I would have realized all this 10 years ago but I do feel better than ever.

I love your blog by the way.

lyndsey’s last blog post..V-DAY should be EVERYday!!

[...] one month now since I quit taking The Pill. I am healing [...]

Thank you so, so much for sharing your story. A few weeks after going on Ortho-Tri-Cyclen, I was so deeply depressed I could barely get out of bed…then I just happened to read your blog. The lightbulb went off, and I stopped taking the bc immediately – within 24 hours, I felt better.

Two weeks later, I feel like a human being again. I am truly grateful to you – you can’t imagine how much your post helped me.

And BTW, you’re an amazing writer – thanks for sharing your life and your talent with all of us!

Mistie’s last blog post..I’m Baaaaack!

[...] Mom is in the mood … to share. I’ve been off The Pill since January 28th.  It did not take all that long for me to feel much better.  The heavy [...]

[...] this is kind of like an update to let you all know that getting off The Pill really improved my depression and gave me back my libido, but it has done nothing for the fact that [...]

[...] Well, this was basically trying the relaxed way.  As in, I stopped taking The Pill at the end of January to regain my libido and shrug off the worst of my depression.  (And it [...]