Yup. That’s right. Today, I am going to go all out and show my nipple.
You see, some time ago, I asked everyone around these parts to ask me some questions.
I said that I would answer them all.
You are probably thinking (if you’ve been around awhile, or especially if you asked a question)… “Yeah, Lotus, you sure did SAY you were going to answer them all, but you sure as hell haven’t DONE that.”
I did not say how long I would take to do so, though.
BUT FEAR YE NOT.
Every.Single.One will be answered in due time. And some of them in far too many words, as I am known to over-do everything, especially talking and writing.
Today, I address a question left on that post which seemed quite a lot like a request.
And, boy am I ever eager to please! It must have something to do with my insecure nature.
“karastav” asked, (in Haiku form, even!):
Will we ever see
a photo of your nipple
its such a nice rack?
And like I said, I must be insecure, because I just can’t pass up an opportunity to give my readers what they want.
So, Yes, karastav, you will see a photo of my nipple.
Here it is:
What? I may be insecure from here until infinity, but I’m no Cheap Floosy!
I only show my nipples to my husband.
Oh, and I guess, to my son. He breastfed for awhile, after all.
And my Gynocologist. She even gets to feel them up!
Oh, yeah, and the girls I have slumber parties with, when we’re showering together. That’s before the full-contact pillow fighting. But after the naked JELLO-Wrestling.
But that’s about it, really. Yeah. No Internet Nipples.
Not today, anyways. 
#1 by Gabriel on April 12, 2008 - 12:27 AM
Ha!!! Pure genius…
I guess some of your readers will have to go looking for ‘real’ nipples somewhere else…
Gabriel’s last blog post..We now have Top Commentator prizes!
#2 by Jared on April 12, 2008 - 12:27 AM
Ouch!
Just curious…Slow, Fast, or Tri-Cut? You never cease to make me laugh! 
Jared’s last blog post..I’m Still Alive, But Just In Case…
#3 by Taz on April 12, 2008 - 12:32 AM
hehe..
awesome..
Taz’s last blog post..24 weeks old
#4 by Mackenzie's Momma on April 12, 2008 - 12:34 AM
*snort* hawt nips Lotus!
Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..The “Special” Colorado To Vancouver Road Sign
#5 by Gunfighter on April 12, 2008 - 12:49 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Good one.
Gunfighter’s last blog post..Obama For President
#6 by Assertagirl on April 12, 2008 - 1:13 AM
This won’t affect your spam, no, not at all!
Assertagirl’s last blog post..Friday Flashback: Not so prom.
#7 by Gordo on April 12, 2008 - 1:19 AM
Oh, my sides! That’s excellent, Lotus.
Gordo’s last blog post..Self-imposed exile
#8 by Secret Agent Mama on April 12, 2008 - 2:59 AM
LOL!
You tease!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Photohunt: Twisted
#9 by Shannymar on April 12, 2008 - 3:22 AM
::whistles:: who’d have thought we’d get to see nipples on your blog today?
Shannymar’s last blog post..I see the nuns are gay…
#10 by Xbox4NappyRash on April 12, 2008 - 4:58 AM
I was like, click, no don’t, no click, no don’t…
so I did.
now I feel like a perv.
thanks!
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..24,000,000,000 to 1
#11 by kendra on April 12, 2008 - 5:27 AM
Oh, my goodness, you are hilarious. What a great post. Especially loved the one with the “nipple” twisting.”
kendra’s last blog post..My Namesake
#12 by Veronica on April 12, 2008 - 5:36 AM
Love it!
So what is your favourite flavour for naked jello wrestling?
Veronica’s last blog post..A Follow Up To Yesterday or I Am A Bad Mother
#13 by karastav on April 12, 2008 - 6:14 AM
Sometimes you get more than what you ask for. Thank you for this moment it was funny as hell. It makes me glad to know you exist.
#14 by Law Student Hot Mama on April 12, 2008 - 7:35 AM
That’s HAWT right there. Especially the twisted photo – I wish we could have gotten one of you licking your nipple to match it . . .
Law Student Hot Mama’s last blog post..The Marauding Huns: Aftermath
#15 by Kitty on April 12, 2008 - 7:40 AM
lol
#16 by HappyCampers on April 12, 2008 - 7:51 AM
Always unpredictable. That’s what I love!
HappyCampers’s last blog post..What’s it to ‘ya?
#17 by Donna W on April 12, 2008 - 8:07 AM
Haaaaaaaa!!!! You got me!
Donna W’s last blog post..Look what arrived at my door today
#18 by Suzanne on April 12, 2008 - 8:09 AM
I *knew* what was coming, because you DO have a toddler in the house. However, the Twisted Nipple? That was truly inspired!
One of the few blogs my husband bookmarked is some chick who posts a picture of herself braless each wednesday. She’s wearing a shirt, though.
Suzanne’s last blog post..Quick Updates
#19 by Rebecca on April 12, 2008 - 8:28 AM
You CRACK ME UP!
With apologies to those who have experienced cracked nipples. That’s not what I meant at all.
But HA! This post! HA
Rebecca’s last blog post..An “important” haiku announcement
#20 by katney on April 12, 2008 - 8:35 AM
Well, you have satisfied the Photo Hunt theme and your questioners as weel. I have done so and without being nearly so graphic about it. Dear, Dear, I am surprised you did not get caught in my filters. Bet if I had Net Nanny I would not have gottne to see.
katney’s last blog post..Photo Hunt–Theme: Twisted
#21 by janine on April 12, 2008 - 8:52 AM
nyahahah you are so funny..i love reading your entry..heheheh..it is so nice to smile at this very early part of my morning and thanks to you..hehehe
#22 by Write From Karen on April 12, 2008 - 8:55 AM
LOL! I must admit, I wasn’t sure I wanted to click over or not.
Very clever! Thanks for the chuckle this morning!
#23 by maryt/theteach on April 12, 2008 - 8:57 AM
Did I know that a baby bottle nipple was coming? I sure did! But I read your great funny post anyway!
maryt/theteach’s last blog post..Photo Hunters – twist(ed)
#24 by Frances on April 12, 2008 - 9:01 AM
That is hilarious! Great twist
Frances’s last blog post..Photohunt: Twist(ed)
#25 by Karen on April 12, 2008 - 9:33 AM
Thank you!!! I needed to laugh before I conquered my long list of tasks today.
Karen’s last blog post..PhotoHunt: Twist(ed)
#26 by dorid on April 12, 2008 - 9:57 AM
I really REALLY hesitated before clicking on this link!
ROTFL!
http://theradula.blogspot.com/2008/04/photohunt-twisted.html
dorid’s last blog post..Photohunt: Twisted
#27 by amanda on April 12, 2008 - 10:00 AM
your nipples are long.
amanda’s last blog post..Honey…Put Up the Gun..
#28 by Amy on April 12, 2008 - 10:00 AM
You are definitely certifiable, but in a good way!
Pretty clever.
Amy’s last blog post..PhotoHunt
#29 by Jenty on April 12, 2008 - 10:13 AM
Pure genius! LMAO!!
Jenty’s last blog post..Photohunt: Twisted
#30 by RubiaLala on April 12, 2008 - 10:19 AM
Hee, hee, you’re so funny. I love the “twist” at the end!
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Hallway of Awkwardness
#31 by DeuceMom on April 12, 2008 - 10:37 AM
Your nipples look just like mine! (Avent, right?) You crack me up.
DeuceMom’s last blog post..No tooth today
#32 by nottryingforaboy on April 12, 2008 - 10:39 AM
You’re too funny!
nottryingforaboy’s last blog post..Her first speech/language summary
#33 by nottryingforaboy on April 12, 2008 - 10:41 AM
that’s strange… my last blog post is not right.
nottryingforaboy’s last blog post..Her first speech/language summary
#34 by Maria on April 12, 2008 - 11:09 AM
You got me all excited for nothing. Bleh.
Guess I’d better head over to Xtube. or Redtube.
#35 by Memarie Lane on April 12, 2008 - 11:50 AM
OMG I thought this was a family blog! I’m going to have to wash my eyes out with soap!
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..¡ Caliente !
#36 by Memarie Lane on April 12, 2008 - 11:50 AM
OMG I thought this was a family blog! I’m going to have to wash my eyes out with soap!
#37 by Liza on April 12, 2008 - 12:45 PM
teehee, i love your twisted nipple
i played!
Liza’s last blog post..PhotoHunt: Twist(ed)
#38 by peppylady on April 12, 2008 - 1:14 PM
Your to funny any how if someone twisted my nipple like that I would either punch or kick them.
My photo is up.
peppylady’s last blog post..Photo Hunt (twisted)
#39 by lceel on April 12, 2008 - 1:35 PM
I just KNEW it was too good to be true. *whine* … *whimper* … *feels heartbroken*
Obviously, my wife has taught me how to do Guilt.
lceel’s last blog post..Friday Haiku picture do
#40 by Jientje on April 12, 2008 - 1:53 PM
Yes.
Unpredictable as ever!
Hilarious as ever!
Jientje’s last blog post..Photohunt “Twisted”
#41 by Eve on April 12, 2008 - 2:39 PM
Nice nipple, and so perky, too. The twisting was a stroke of genius. Come on over and see my new mattress.
Eve’s last blog post..New Beginnings
#42 by Karla on April 12, 2008 - 6:44 PM
Sheer Brilliance!
Karla’s last blog post..Antenna
#43 by Elizabeth on April 12, 2008 - 7:36 PM
You are completely awesome.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..GTX-personal GPS technology
#44 by Kat on April 12, 2008 - 7:57 PM
Ha!
#45 by regina on April 12, 2008 - 8:50 PM
You are hilarious!!
regina’s last blog post..If You Do Me, I’ll Do You!
#46 by Kim on April 12, 2008 - 8:51 PM
Brilliant. Again.
Kim’s last blog post..Crayola Two’fers
#47 by AMomTwoBoys on April 12, 2008 - 10:36 PM
Tease…
#48 by Malia on April 12, 2008 - 10:44 PM
I had those nipples once upon time…oh, the good ole days of perky, erect nipples.
Malia’s last blog post..Oreos & Milk
#49 by To Think Is To Create on April 12, 2008 - 10:49 PM
love it
To Think Is To Create’s last blog post..Lovely and Mellow
#50 by tommie on April 12, 2008 - 10:59 PM
you are hilarious! Twist and shout!
tommie’s last blog post..Photohunt: twisted
#51 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:13 PM
ugh
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#52 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:13 PM
that’s
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#53 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:14 PM
it!
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#54 by Colleen on April 12, 2008 - 11:14 PM
Oh, I love it. This was just the thing I needed to read after my own post today. You rock!
Colleen’s last blog post..Dear God…
#55 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:14 PM
must!
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#56 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:14 PM
raise
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#57 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:15 PM
commentator
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#58 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:15 PM
rank!
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#59 by Dawn on April 12, 2008 - 11:17 PM
my favorite card ever said, “I think you are perverted, twisted and sick. When can I see you again.”
fitting!
Dawn’s last blog post..How to Bury a Mortician
#60 by Ashley on April 12, 2008 - 11:21 PM
lol esp liked the “twisting” one.
Ashley’s last blog post..You’d think it was MY birthday!
#61 by VDog on April 13, 2008 - 1:21 AM
LOVE that you actually did it. You go, girl.
VDog’s last blog post..The Day BOSSY Came to Town
#62 by Carolyn on April 13, 2008 - 2:36 AM
The twist made me cringe. Please don’t do that again.
Carolyn’s last blog post..three things i’m loving right now. actually, make that four.
#63 by Becky on April 13, 2008 - 3:30 AM
I saw your Twitter and was, like, oh no…she didn’t! LMAO! You are too funny.
Becky’s last blog post..Teen Hijinx
#64 by Karen Putz / DeafMom on April 13, 2008 - 9:05 AM
Oh my gosh, this cracked me up– hilarious!
#65 by Melinda on April 13, 2008 - 5:41 PM
Too funny. Those silicone ones though can be a little irritating though even when it’s not cold.
Melinda’s last blog post..Ball crazy
#66 by Saltgirl on April 13, 2008 - 8:46 PM
I never figured you for the pierced nipple type.
~
Saltgirl’s last blog post..Husband for sale, cheap
#67 by justmylife on April 14, 2008 - 11:21 AM
LOL. That is too funny.
justmylife’s last blog post..MIL driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!
#68 by ImpostorMom on April 16, 2008 - 2:24 PM
Hahahhahhaha
hysterical and oh the pervy google hits you’ll get
#69 by Drunken Colege Sex on August 4, 2009 - 12:23 AM
emm.. interesting