Gear Woser, Cwis
Recently, Sweetney shared a link on Twitter that made my life complete.
“You Make Me Touch Your Hands For Stupid Reasons”
Please note, you need the sound on, and you should read along for maximum FUNNY AS HELLNESS.
John and I quote this relentlessly around the house now, and the amount of laughter it evokes is off the scale of measurable hilarity.
Seriously, if you don’t think this is funny, I don’t get you. And you definitely don’t get me.
And I might even have to kill you in your sleep.
Indoctrinating Braden into the world of TEH INTERNET CAN HAZ FUNNEH:
PS: He is incapable of sitting still, in case you were wondering.
PPS: My next mission is to train him to use this swiffer thingie I just got to clean the kitchen floor. You can take 2 of the segments out and make it “toddler size.” Best discovery I’ve made all year.
PPPS: I’m all about the child labor.
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Nicole
Um yeah, best break up letter ever. Thanks for the much needed giggles!
Nicoles last blog post..Picture It: A Cold Winter’s Night in Grand Rapids, MI 2009
SingleParentDad
Your such n ass wipe n bastert.
That.Is.Genius.
And as for Braden, just wind him up and let him go.
SingleParentDads last blog post..This Time, Racing For Chocolate
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@SingleParentDad,
Dude, he comes self winded.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
witchypoo
I think Braden’s rendition was better. But maybe because it’s such a sweet visual.
witchypoos last blog post..February Search Terms
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@witchypoo,
It’s totally cute until he smashes his head into the camera.
Seriously. That’s what happened later.
The video footage of it is brutal.
Poor little bugger.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Allyson
I think I’m going to throw up from laughing so hard! The dramatic reading of the break-up letter is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a LONG time! Thank you, thank you for sharing!
Allysons last blog post..Haiku Buckaroo
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Allyson,
Same reaction John and I had! We laughed, gut spewingly, at this for days. And one of us still loads it up every couple of days and then we both crack up laughing again.
Also, we say, “jealouse” “ass wipe n bastert” “WORDDDDDD” etc around here constantly.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Jessica
OMG laughing so hard I can’t hardly breathe. Oh..the teenage angst.
next teach Braden to say “Charlie bit my finger”
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Jessica,
Rather teach him to say he’s gonna kick a monster’s “ask.”
Have you seen that one? I LOOOOOVE (heh) it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMbww-nCVQg
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Sissy
oh yes, I told people if they didn’t think it was funny, they couldn’t read my blog anymore. and who was the one offender? my own mother. I was so ashamed!
Sissys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
B’s rocking and chanting is what I do on a daily basis but for very different reasons. Is this normal?
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]s last blog post..Wordless 2.18.9
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing],
Where do you think he learned it?
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Karen MEG
OMG, that was hilarious. “ass wipe n bastert” and “jeaLOUSE” are classic. I was reading so closely, cracking up, then I put Braden on, and his rocking almost made me yack LOL!!!!!
Karen MEGs last blog post.."Wordless Wednesday" – License to Drive?
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Karen MEG,
And I have to watch that shit in 3D!
You should have seen when he smashed his head into the camera later.
Brutal footage.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Talina
I bet he had a headache after that! Wowie, he has energy!!
Talinas last blog post..Wordless wednesday- things we do without…
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Talina,
They suck the life force out of you to use for their own purposes.
You have been warned.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Domestic Extraordinaire
I have read/listened to that before. Giggles (my 14 year old) didn’t get what B. was saying so I had her listen/read the letter. She cracked up laughing (as did I)
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Experiencing Bliss
Karleigh
“WORLd-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.”
That’s always my favorite part.
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Karleigh,
TOTALLY!
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Karleigh, Also, Kar, look at the photo for Tabitha, comment right below this… doesn’t her photo remind you of Jessie? Or is it just me?
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Tabitha
Hahahahahaha that is so amazing! Your son is freaking hilarious, and that letter was pretty damn funny too.
Tabithas last blog post..Helpless.
Special K
I will have some of what he is drinking please!!!!!!!
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Special K,
It’s called “The Souls of My Parents,” by Braden James.
It’s incredibly exotic, and rare.
There is almost none left.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Texan Mama
I have received this link many times and have yet to get the sound to play. What’s the secret?
Texan Mamas last blog post..What’s In A Name?
Twitter: texmama
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Texan Mama,
It start automatically for me – maybe there’s a setting on your comp/browser that stops auto play? Not sure!
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Sweetney
I exist to make the lives of all you basterts more enjoyable. I can see my work is done here.
Seriously though, it tickles me to no end that you’ve gotten so much enjoyment out of that. I am your most humble and obedient servant. xoxo
Sweetneys last blog post..Hipster Move Checklist
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Sweetney,
You’re the man now, dog.
(I just threw up in my mouth a little, but still, I could not stop myself.)
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Lynn (Walking With Scissors)
You know what? That breakup letter doesn’t get ANY less funny with time. My husband and I were almost crying with laughter the first time we saw it (and the second) (and the third). Thanks for showing it again. Pure awesome.
Braden does a great reenactment as well! His energy reminds me SO MUCH of my boy at that age. Wish I could tell you they calm down but nope. (tee hee)
Lynn (Walking With Scissors)s last blog post..Stars On Ice
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Lynn (Walking With Scissors),
Oh, I KNOW. We’ve been laughing at that damn thing just as much, if not more, every time we load it up.
I didn’t expect the insanity to go anywhere, just become more complex. At least I’m prepared to go entirely batshit nuts.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Rachelskirts
LOVE IT. That has been a favorite link of mine ever since Belinda / Ninjapoodles shared it a year ago or so. The fact that Braden is now trained in the ways of internet awesome has COMPLETELY made my day (and quite possibly my week, for that matter). Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this!
Rachelskirtss last blog post..Second Is the Best
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Rachelskirts,
Your Gravatar just made me die.
LOVE IT.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Megan
That was a good laugh that I really needed. Still laughing, can’t stop laughing. That was awesome.
Megans last blog post..I just realized..
wright
Oh the stuff that’s out there on the internet! Too funny!
wrights last blog post..Escape Into A Good Book
Taz
Tazs last blog post..68 Weeks Old and 10 Weeks Old
lceel
I watched the video of Braden. I need a nap now.
lceels last blog post..Resumption of service and story
Twitter: lceel
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@lceel,
Welcome to my life. lol
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Heidi
so funny. totally needed that.
Heidis last blog post..You are the New Day
perpstu
OMG. That is the funniest thing ever! I am going to giggle all day!
Twitter: perpstu
jennielynn
Does it make me a bad mother that I played this for my 14 year old? We’ve been giggling for an hour now.
jennielynns last blog post..Love Is Spelled D-A-D-D-Y
Stassja
My son is about that energetic. I’m pretty sure it would break the laws of physics for him to hold still for anything but sleep. (And I ponder his sleeping habits as well)
AWESOME ytmnd. Three cheers!
Stassjas last blog post..Holy crap man
Rachael
That video totally cracked me up!
Rachaels last blog post..The Waiting is the Hardest Part
Twitter: rachael1013
Suzanne
that is hilarious!
Now, if you’ve got pre teens and they hear foul language (like my husband’s potty mouth!), then go to you tube and google “pork chop sandwiches” and you’ll laugh your ass off!
Suzannes last blog post..What’s For Dinner Wednesday
Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus
@Suzanne,
LOL My Ex-boyfriend had (has?) that on his myspace page. Love it.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
harmzie
If not for the fact that they look nothing alike (ok, they’re both pasty white little boys with rosy red cheeks) and we have different couches, I would have thought you vidoed my boy.
Does yours spend 99.9% of his time on the couch vertical? 67% upside down and 32.9% on his feet?
I swear there’s some reaction between his butt and my couch that makes it painful for him to sit down on.
harmzies last blog post..25 Things
Melodie
OMG – that is the funniest thing I have ever listened to! Thank you for sharing, I subsequently shared the link with my facebook people! I needed the laugh, thanks again!
Melodies last blog post..What do Americans do without decimals?
Jenn
[First, sorry, my blog is temporarily down. We got new internet service at home and have to change the IP address or whatever for our server...]
Second, yes, since you introduced me to that letter I have enjoyed it more than once and it is pee your pants funny.
And also? Your offspring is fucking HILARIOUS. Hilarious. That is all.