So, there are clearly plenty of posts on this website where I whine and complain about the things that Braden does that drive me nuts. Heck, he even stepped in and gave you his outline of The Plan, and anyone reading that can see that the first couple of years can be just a little bit stressful on a parent at times.
And, well, it may even seem like I complain about stupid things, like when I said that some days he seems to pee on every inch of carpet, and it makes me tired… but, um. I’m the one who lets him run around naked, right? I mean, if you scan comments on that post, you can even see how well some unknown, uncuntactable, I mean, uncontactable ”momma” set me straight on that. (Me still not know how use diapers. What diapers are? Diapers food? *bangs rocks together*)
But, as per all the complaining, do I mean to dissuade others who have not yet reproduced from doing so?
That depends. If you’re the idiot who cut me off in traffic the other day, then YES.
Yes, AND? You should experiment with juggling sharp knives near your crotch. Just to make sure.
(Honestly, I could probably give you a long list of people who I think shouldn’t reproduce, but for the sake of time, we’ll call that a post for another day, right?)
For EVERY thing that Braden does that makes me want to run straight off the edge of a cliff (while stabbling myself repeatedly), there are about, ohhh, eleventy-fafillion (and that’s a damn lot) things about him, and being a parent in general, that simultaneously make me sad I waited so long to be one and multiply my joy by infinity.
Infinity is more than eleventy-fafillion, just in case anyone’s counting.
He makes me LAUGH. More than anyone else I know!
He TEACHES me things. More than anyone else I know!
He makes me feel SPECIAL. You got it. More than anyone else I know!
I am both loved and needed.
He AWES me. MTAEIK!
I have never wanted to be a better person more than I have since becoming his mother.
Every single day, I look forward to what he will do that day to inspire and revitalize me.
Of course, it would still be really nice to be able to go take a dump without someone crying about it.
Just sayin’. 
#1 by Kelley on March 31, 2008 - 12:48 AM
and you know they still freaking bug you when they are teens! Can’t you see I need a bit of private time?!?!
Bite that gorgeous little toushie for me will ya?
Kelley’s last blog post..I am such a blog whore
#2 by Tootsie Farklepants on March 31, 2008 - 1:18 AM
That naked butt picture is a gem! Pinkie swear that you’ll show it to his girlfriend someday?
Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..A Well Seasoned Handbag but is it Worth the Salt?
#3 by Taz on March 31, 2008 - 2:57 AM
aww..
Taz’s last blog post..23 Weeks Old
#4 by frogpondsrock on March 31, 2008 - 4:01 AM
I am so going to stealuncuntactable.. Lotus You are a gem..
And when you come to Tasmania I will feed you and pet you and and and..
cheers kim xxxx
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Weekly Winners.. WooHoo!!!!
#5 by river on March 31, 2008 - 4:09 AM
Oh my gosh, the love in those big blue eyes brought tears to mine. The love between you two is so thick a chain saw couldn’t sever it. What’s a few pee puddles compared to that?
#6 by MizFit on March 31, 2008 - 4:38 AM
amen to all that!
mamahood is fab.
and, at times, the snarking about it is just as fabfun, but mainly I wouldnt trade the MAMA POO POO shrieks at inopportune times for ANYTHING.
M.
MizFit’s last blog post..Monday Facetime.
#7 by Beth_C on March 31, 2008 - 5:12 AM
You know I love me some sumo-wrestler heiny cheeks! That should get me through for the week!
But those eyes! His eyes are absolutely gorgeous and the picture of the two of you together will be one that you look fondly on forever.
Great post!
Beth_C’s last blog post..Miracle Monday
#8 by cynematic on March 31, 2008 - 5:37 AM
Those eyelashes! I luuuuurve them! Bat-bat, bat-bat.
#9 by Jacki on March 31, 2008 - 6:11 AM
LOL…I haven’t been able to use the bathroom by myself in nearly 4 years!
He is adorable.
Jacki’s last blog post..Our Love is No Longer Conditional
#10 by Veronica on March 31, 2008 - 6:11 AM
Did frogpondsrock say you were coming to Tasmania? DID I MISS SOMETHING?
No? Sigh. And we could have so much fun eating cheese and letting them destroy my loungeroom.
Veronica’s last blog post..Weekly Winners/Rant About Wordpress Edition
#11 by Sue on March 31, 2008 - 6:31 AM
I had to go back to that post, as I’m new. There were two of them that suggested the diaper. I had to stop reading to laugh, hard, because they actually seemed convinced that you didn’t know how to use one.
And one said “Recipe for turning readers away”…. I was bawling at that. People like your blog, pee and all. I do.
Sue’s last blog post..What I Say When Nobody is Listening
#12 by Alison on March 31, 2008 - 7:09 AM
I agree!
I don’t remember the last time I used the bathroom by myself or uninterrupted.
Alison’s last blog post..Animal Magnetism
#13 by Michelle on March 31, 2008 - 7:42 AM
Awwww…a nice reminder for all of us (especially this momma who has been up since 5 am and wishes her toddler could be quieter in the morning…but how dull would my life be then?)
Michelle’s last blog post..Tolerance
#14 by nottryingforaboy on March 31, 2008 - 8:16 AM
I just started occasionally using the bathroom alone within the last year or so, and then I had to go and have another kid.
It’s all worth it though.
And it makes me giggle a little bit when LushMan gets annoyed when the girls walk in on him when he’s in there. Welcome to my world, honey, welcome to my world.
nottryingforaboy’s last blog post..Her first speech/language summary
#15 by cyndy on March 31, 2008 - 8:29 AM
Your adoration for him shows in every one of your posts where he is mentioned. I love reading your blog!
cyndy’s last blog post..On Birth, and 15 Years, and more…
#16 by TEOM? on March 31, 2008 - 8:45 AM
There really is nothing better than being – for such a brief while – the sun around which they revolve – nothing better in the wide, wide universe.
TEOM?’s last blog post..Filch It Friday: Bedtime Rituals
#17 by AmyM on March 31, 2008 - 8:54 AM
Aren’t you glad you have the internet to tell you that ‘if you put diapers on your kid… he wouldn’t pee on the floor all the time?’ I dunno about you, but I NEVER would’ve figured that one out on my own.
The Internet: raising a better, smarter generation, one assvice comment at a time.
AmyM’s last blog post..Sunday Seventy-Eight
#18 by Kitty on March 31, 2008 - 8:56 AM
I hear dat’ mama!
#19 by Don Mills Diva on March 31, 2008 - 9:46 AM
Aww – one day he’ll be old enough to be repulsed by you sitting on the toilet, don’t you worry!
Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..She wore a hijab
#20 by Sadie on March 31, 2008 - 9:51 AM
And so is the truth of motherhood…we love it AND hate it. It’s everything rolled into one!!
Sadie’s last blog post..Help me Help THEM!!
#21 by Law Student Hot Mama on March 31, 2008 - 9:54 AM
Don’t you love how everybody else knows so much better than you? I just did a post on how obnoxious it is when other people that I don’t know touch my kid, and some uncuntactable loser wrote about how I clearly didn’t understand how diseases are spread and apparently they cannot be spread by touching. *sigh* EVERYBODY’s a critic.
I wish I could run around my house naked from the waist down!
Law Student Hot Mama’s last blog post..Anonymous is Synonymous with Loser!
#22 by Secret Agent Mama on March 31, 2008 - 10:07 AM
I gushed on my baby and my big boy today. These boys are just gushable—plain and simple!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Weekend Update
#23 by Marye~ on March 31, 2008 - 11:00 AM
When I get overwhelmed by all the kid crap, it’s nice to remember all the sweet moment of hugs and kisses.
Marye~’s last blog post..Thinness?
#24 by justmylife on March 31, 2008 - 11:04 AM
Remember this when he fails to come home one night and forgets all about calling Momma, who by the way, does need sleep occasionally. It is the only reason The Boy is still breathing today! The thoughts of when he was young and I controlled his every move! hehe!
justmylife’s last blog post..The new Buns of Steel Exercise!!!!
#25 by Mama DB on March 31, 2008 - 11:06 AM
what a doll! (is it okay to call a little boy a doll?). My word, that little naked tushie. I laughed as well.
Uncuntacable. Brilliant. People always post their sh*t with no way to contact them because they know it is just that, sh*tting on someone else because they’re having a bad day. Gotta love those folks.
Mama DB’s last blog post..I’m a safety girl.
#26 by Kay on March 31, 2008 - 11:20 AM
Ah man! I totally thought you were finally going to make a post that would make me NOT want to have kids. Way to go.
#27 by Ree on March 31, 2008 - 11:34 AM
nom, nom, nom.
Yep, what Kelley said. Even then.
Ree’s last blog post..Opening Day
#28 by Hydes Like Us on March 31, 2008 - 11:51 AM
Wouldn’t it though? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to dump without having to hire a babysitter?
Hydes Like Us’s last blog post..Because I’m the Mom.
#29 by Kay on March 31, 2008 - 12:15 PM
I feel ya sister. At one point this weekend I had a dog and 2 kids watching me pee.
It was the highlight of my weekend sadly.
Kay’s last blog post..Whore-ton hears a poo
#30 by Kat on March 31, 2008 - 12:53 PM
DITTO.
#31 by Lisa- Domestic Accident on March 31, 2008 - 1:20 PM
Oh, my. Those eyes. Does he make you want him eat him up too or is that just me?
#32 by Joe on March 31, 2008 - 2:04 PM
Hey, don’t do that cliff thing, ok? That is a funny post that I totally feel. That being said, I am currently out of the sh-it. No diapers, no mo! I just had to say that because it is AWESOME! Soon, this post will be a memory, but a good one you’ll want back. Peace out yo!
#33 by Jenty on March 31, 2008 - 2:50 PM
Wait til he talks and he asks questions about what you’re doing
Jenty’s last blog post..Weekly Winners #12
#34 by *pixie* on March 31, 2008 - 2:56 PM
My son makes me a better person too. I love being a Mom. It’s awesome to infinity fafillion (that’s a lot).
*pixie*’s last blog post..mmm…cake
#35 by zoeyjane on March 31, 2008 - 3:04 PM
mine had decided that the toilet is HERS. does braden ever try to push you off, mid-stream? it’s a battle I never knew I’d have to fight!
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Spent, Just Spent.
#36 by peppylady on March 31, 2008 - 4:43 PM
Majority of the time Motherhood is well worth it.
So far I have a lot more joy being a mom then not.
It simple things that happen that makes it worth it.
peppylady’s last blog post..Life Question # 3
#37 by the planet of janet on March 31, 2008 - 5:03 PM
oh that butt. how can you not love that nekkie butt hangin’ out?
even if it means peed-on (and other’d-on) carpets.
you have your priorities straight, my sweet!
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday: the words to live by edition
#38 by Tracy D on March 31, 2008 - 5:42 PM
Enjoy the unadultarated love and need while you can. Once they become teens you end up being the uncool mom and embarassing them. And while that is pretty fun in and of itself (I try my hardest to make her go “MMMoooooooooommmmmm” whenever her friends are over) it still makes me sigh that I don’t get that same look and hug and feeling from her anymore. At least not as often!
Love this post!
Tracy D’s last blog post..Meme #1 and Menu Planning Monday
#39 by Rebecca on March 31, 2008 - 7:31 PM
Swoon!
Rebecca’s last blog post..Lungs “no good”
#40 by regina on March 31, 2008 - 7:38 PM
Simply beautiful! What an awesome post!
regina’s last blog post..Recap Of My “Blog Of The Week” #7
#41 by Christie on March 31, 2008 - 9:32 PM
I love the hiney picture, he looks like he is about to pounce!
Christie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners 1st Edition
#42 by Jerseygirl89 on March 31, 2008 - 9:41 PM
He is SO cute. And there may come a day when you get privacy, as I did when my daughter discovered that she wanted “private-cy” in the bathroom and we made a deal: I would keep the little one out of the bathroom when she was going if she would do the same for me. So far it’s working better for her, but it worked for me once. And then I felt kinda lonely.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Porn Checker
#43 by janethesane on March 31, 2008 - 9:43 PM
Shout it out Sistah!
janethesane’s last blog post..CycleBeads – Natural Birth Control
#44 by McKenna Gordon on March 31, 2008 - 10:41 PM
So sweet. But I completely agree. Mine’s 2 weeks shy of one year and just yesterday I forgot to shut the door behind me when I left the bathroom and not 5 seconds later I turned around to catch him standing at the throne, dipping his hand in and then licking it over and over. I immediately thought of YOU because I had been thinking of your “if it’s yellow let it mellow” water-saving trick and it’s a damn good thing I hadn’t implemented it yet!!!
McKenna Gordon’s last blog post..Mr. Peeper Man
#45 by Marketing Mama on March 31, 2008 - 10:53 PM
What a sweet post! I have two kiddos and never get a private bathroom moment unless everyone is sleeping or I’m at work!!!
#46 by Summer on April 1, 2008 - 12:33 AM
Awwwww! He’s adorable. Not that you don’t already know that.
Kids have to be adorable and sweet and charming and wonderful. It’s the only way we don’t eat them when they drive us nuts. Nothing calms me faster than “You’re pretty mama”
*sigh*
Summer’s last blog post..Me? Attached?
#47 by Gabriel on April 1, 2008 - 2:28 AM
That face… I’m dying of love here.
What a beautiful, beautiful little child.
Sigh. I miss my kids. I better go to bed now. Two more days…
Gabriel’s last blog post..This is what I do
#48 by Shannymar on April 1, 2008 - 3:26 AM
Hahaha, that last part. Man, I love being a mom. But agree with the cry-less dumping… teehee.
Shannymar’s last blog post..Blah, blah, blah…
#49 by Eve on April 1, 2008 - 11:35 AM
My daughter is nearly 35. For 35 years I have been ready to be invaded in the bathroom at any moment. If it’s not your kid, it’s someone else’s. And then there are the grandchildren. When my oldest granddaughter was about 3 she discovered that grandma took a shower, put on makeup, and did her hair every morning. She decided she needed to get in on that. So she started joining me half-way through my shower and staying for the curls and makeup. THEN she thought it would be even more fun if her brother joined us. He was 1. So my showers were invaded by two children every morning, both of whom also wanted some make-up and hair care. The hugs and kisses and adoring looks make it all worth while. After all – privacy is just a step away from loneliness.
Eve’s last blog post..A Short Hello
#50 by Becky on April 1, 2008 - 2:23 PM
*snort* Someone actually blamed YOU for the pee on the rug thing? lol it bugs the crap out of me when people point out the obvious, but I love your cave-woman response.
Becky’s last blog post..Tyler wants…
#51 by Suzanne on April 1, 2008 - 8:12 PM
They drive us crazy, they make us laugh, they make us cry. Our hearts, walking around outside our bodies.
Great post!
Suzanne’s last blog post..Better Late Than Never: The Story about Transferring Schools
#52 by melissa on April 2, 2008 - 12:04 PM
Be careful. My one-year-old decided to eat his own poop this morning while diaper free.
melissa’s last blog post..Potty Mouth