He doesn’t need rose-colored glasses yet; they’re built in.
These sunglasses have brought Braden great joy for the past few months.
When he first started playing with them, he was a little unsure of what to do with himself. He’d hold them up to his face, turn them, flip them.
Open. Close. Open. Close.
He would wear them on his belly. His navel was protected from the sun’s harsh rays as he spun in circles around our living room, singing.
More and more he put them on his face. Showing them off to everyone. Smiling, laughing. So proud of having them there.
Recently, he broke them.
An accident, really. He dropped them and immediately stepped on them before he could still his forward motion. I saw it happen. One of the supports snapped right off.
I wailed inside. My whole body simultaneously tightened and melted for him. I just knew there would be a complete meltdown.
I was wrong.
He sat down on the floor and delicately picked up the two distinct pieces. He was quiet. His mouth was a tiny, slighty open “o” as he sat there, brow furrowed.
He held them in his hands, looking at them, his face full of questions. *melting*
I bit my lip and I told him that I was so sorry, but there was no way to fix them. *tightness*
He just stared at me with his big, blue eyes. *melting*
I told him that they were broken, forever. *tightness*
He kept trying to piece them back together anyway. *melting*
There he sat, holding them up against one another… over and over again, because he just knew that eventually they’d be fixed again.
That is him right now.
The beautiful, innocent child, blissfully unaware that some things can never be fixed after they’re broken, no matter how hard you try to put them back together.
In my heart, I know that my jaded view is not the one I want.
I want to believe, like he does.
Moreover, I never want him to stop believing that.
Oh world, please don’t take this from him for a long, long time.
Maybe there’s time for me to learn to believe again, through him.
26 comments
Leave a comment
Show Sponsors
The Awesome
Maggie's Mind
Beautiful bittersweet post. Sometimes it’s what happens after something is irretrievably broken that is the most amazing.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Weekly Winners 2/8/09
Suzanne
It is amazing how the optimism of children can bring us through the dark times.
How sweet to see him growing and maturing, yet helping you heal.
Suzannes last blog post..Suzanne’s Soundtrack Sunday
Ness
Oh that innocence. The lack of jadedness. I know what you mean. I hope they keep it for as long as possible.
Nesss last blog post..The People, The Animals, The Fire, The Trees.
Twitter: droversrunness
Athena
You never know – they may be even MORE fun now with one side broken off. Sometimes what you get after a break is better than what you had before. Life can be funny and sweet like that if you let it.
xxxooo
~A
Athenas last blog post..mind the gap
Lilacspecs
As usual you’ve turned something potentially sad into an exploration of the beauty of human nature.
Bravo.
Lilacspecss last blog post..Weekly Winners – A More Poetic Look at Gent
pgoodness
SIGH. This is some fabulous writing, my friend. Brought tears to me eyes.
pgoodnesss last blog post..Bad massage or screwed up neck?
Twitter: Pgoodness
Lea
awww, poor little guy… you can find them pretty cheap, maybe you can get a few pair for him, so when he breaks another pair, you can give him a new one… some varity?
kompostela
I’m sure you can lean how to believe. You have to. And you will do.
lceel
It’s in there, Lotus – and it will come back. If there is anything I have learned about women in the last year and a half or so, it’s that they have this incredible ability to endure – and to rise above. And if you are anything, Lotus, you are Woman.
lceels last blog post..They can get their own
Twitter: lceel
Barbara
*sniff*. I can see the Braden bit of the story so clearly as something similar happened with my 3 year old recently (she tore a book by mistake and was devasted that even though I could fix it with sellotape it would never be the same as it was before).
I hope you do learn to believe again – how can you not, with such a wonderful teacher?
Barbaras last blog post..39/365 – Flower Power
Rhea - Experiencing Motherhood
What a sweet, sweet story. I too hope that he will retain that optimism for a long time.
Rhea – Experiencing Motherhoods last blog post..Scheduled C-Section
Ashley @ mrs007.com
God Lotus…this made me cry…and smile….my favorite emotion by the way. I wish I would have had the opportunity to talk to you more this weekend. I did so enjoy hearing Braden’s sweet sounds at the table behind me though
Ashley @ mrs007.coms last blog post..Wii have a winner!
Junebug
Sweet! How about a little duct tape? Would he mind? He could be a nerd.
Junebugs last blog post..Fun Monday-Landmarks
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas
I so get this whole thing. Sweet pics!
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..Blissdom 09: Nashville Shopping
Twitter: amy2boys
Lindsay
Thank you so much Lotus. I needed that today. Isn’t it amazing how the tiniest of us can be so wise? What beautiful hearts you both have.
Love and hugs to you and your sweet boy.
Lindsay
P.S. I’ve found that metaphoric duct tape works on hearts too
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
Nicely said.
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..When worlds collide
Twitter: mommy_wins
Rachel
One of the highlights of Rachel’s weekend: Meeting Lotus, hugging Lotus and adoring B
Sorry, I was so crazy busy and didn’t get to spend more time with you.
HUGS and I’m not even commenting on this post because my heart is all puddly right now.
Rachels last blog post..Keep Believing
Cameron
Quick fix, ma. Get your ass in that car and get him a new pair ASAP
Camerons last blog post..Local Author Gives An Interesting Perspective
bejewell
There’s always superglue, sweetie. They might not ever be perfect again, but they could still make him happy.
bejewells last blog post..Just as Confused as I Was When I Started
Tranny Head
I hope he *never* learns. Ever. Even if he lives to be 140. Ever ever ever ever. Never.
Tranny Heads last blog post..Sunday Mornings and Beer Are Meant to Go Together
He’s not losing sleep over the sunglasses. |
[...] myself. I beg that no one gets offended, but I feel like I have to say, as per some comments on yesterday’s post, that Braden actually has not only 2 pair of sunglasses made to actually fit his face, but he has [...]
Junebug
I also would like to say that the title to this post and the photo underneath could be award-winning.
Junebugs last blog post..Fun Monday-Landmarks
Jennifer
I think this is one of the reasons that we have kids, to remind us how things were when they were new.
Jennifers last blog post..Weekly Winners, 2/1 – 7
Amanda
Gah, as they get older, it’s so much harder to shelter them from that, I’m afraid.
Each time that Neilen is faced with disappointment, as his mommy, I just want to rewind and avoid whatever situation brought us to it. I never want him to suffer, ever.
It’s harder still to not let them see you cry when you think your world is falling apart some days.
Unlike sunglasses, some things you can’t just replace by “buying a new one.” I understand what you meant, and I’m sorry that anyone at any age has to cope with what you’ve experienced in the last year.
Love you.
Karleigh
Aww, your sentiment is wonderful, Loafie.