He gives me the best view, even with finger smudges constantly on the lens.
Today’s Photohunt Theme is “View”
How is it that every theme has my mind swirling in so many directions, but I always come back to the littlest man in my life who, somehow, always finds a way to be the biggest part of my heart? I guess I just answered my question, at the same time that I was asking it.
View.
Everything about “my view” is impacted, constantly changing, and challenged daily by my son. This little guy who amazes me, challenges me, tests me…
This whole person in a super small package who believes every word I say, rarely doubts me, looks to me for what to think and feel, who is amazed when I can do something interesting…
This complex work of art that was a tiny helpless infant, is now a little boy, and who will become a grown man (far too quickly, probably in the virtual blink of an eye)… he is my view of the world now.
He is the filter that colors my world. He is the compass that guides my direction.
He makes me rethink all the things I think I think. Sounds weird – but you get it, right?
I’m prompted by him to question the way I have seen, see, and will see everything that passes through my visual, mental, and emotional scope.
I have changed because of him, never in spite of him. I have changed in many ways for myself… in ways that are ultimately so that I will be “better,” for him!
My view of myself has even changed because of him. He’s knocked me down several pegs, for sure (which is really not a bad thing). Kids have a way of making you feel like a complete and utter dumbass laying bare your faults. They have a way of exposing your pride and forcing you to halve it.
But he’s also taught me to love myself more. He’s shown me the parts of me that are good – things I couldn’t see, or maybe wouldn’t see.
Sometimes it’s really deep and complex – quiet moments and warm embraces full of meaning and feeling… Lessons we’re unfolding together between us.
At other times it’s seemingly simple, and on the surface, a casual observer would never notice the depth of the emotional exchange that is occurring between us.
Tonight, as I was combing through Braden’s wet hair after his bath, he was looking at animals in a little book. There he sat, on the top of his dresser, on a well-worn diaper cushion, in his cute little pajamas, just pouring through that book, calling out names of things. I was combing through his hair, questioning him about the sounds animals make after he named each one. He got to “squirrel,” and when I asked, there was a silence. Then he barked like a dog. (snicker)
“No, no,” I said. “A squirrel says *insert chattering little squirrel sound that I can’t figure out how to spell here*.” As I made the sound I moved my face around in front of his, and made eye contact with him and he tilted his head up and looked at me.
If you could have seen the amazement, the adoration, respect, love and awe that his eyes poured into mine… for such a small thing…
Well, you’d know the view from here is more than good enough for me.
And the more I focus on the view right now the less I care about anything else.
18 comments
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Connie
What a special post for photo hunter this week Lotus! I was in tears~because as a mom to 2 precious boys I relate & know exactly what you’re talking about here. You’re such a wonderful Mom to Braden & he’s very lucky!
This makes me want to go & delete my photo hunter post for this week
*Bangs head*
Connies last blog post..Photo Hunter=VIEW
Blithe Revival
seriously.
Blithe Revivals last blog post..Blogger Fan
Blithe Revival
NO, really.
Blithe Revivals last blog post..Stop The Insanity
MacNessa
I love your photos. They’re so different to MUCH of the stuff out there. What a great model you have too
MacNessas last blog post..How Eco-Friendly is Your Business?
Rebecca
So good, Lotus! I went a similar way with my PhotoHunt.
Rebeccas last blog post..PhotoHunt: View
Twitter: ramblingreba
kompostela
It’s amazing how much such little man with a very big heart can can change people around him when they love him. I’ve just read everything you written and I have the feeling that you had a look into my heart because I have the same feelings to my daughter because when you were writiing about yourself at the same time you wrote about all mothers and their feelings. And I think that great that at the age when you begin to doubt if it’s wise to beleave people at all, you receive a knock down and everything change. You start love the world again because you become a mother…
I can write infinitely about this but I have to stop and write that you have great PhotoHunter this week!
kompostelas last blog post..Haiku Friday – Eternal Theme -Love…
Drea
your photos are so sweet…. love hearing you talk about Braden and your love for him. Hes precious.
Dreas last blog post..Wait a sec? What?! no diaper!
Taz
beautiful
Tazs last blog post..48 Weeks Old
Tara R.
beautiful post
Tara R.s last blog post..Thank-you Mrs. Armstrong
Patsy Bain
Children do seem to do that! Capture your heart, your view and all your time and energy. Motherhood has such sweet perks.
Patsy Bains last blog post..Photo Hunt — View and a Meme for Fun
manager mom
What beautiful photos, to match such a lovely celebration of your son.
manager moms last blog post..A Little Help Please…
BlouKous
That was a gorgeous post. I don’t have any kids, but am absolutely in love my sister’s kids. You can get almost get drunk on them they are so fantastic!
BlouKouss last blog post..Photohunt no 129: View
CrAzY Working Mom
The photos are amazing, but your commentary took my breath away. You are such a great mom and it’s hard in our day to day lives to take time and really enjoy our children!
It’s great to have a blog to do that as well. Nice job on this week’s theme. Here is my view.
rachel
Honey, you have the best perspective.
Look at those bewbs
LOL.
Seriously, this was so sweet and it’s going to be a magical thing to share this with him later.
rachels last blog post..She Had Her at ‘My BeBe’
Issa
This is a beautiful post and so true. My son is only days old and even though he’s my third child, he has already changed me for life.
Braden’s eyes are amazing.
Issas last blog post..Small Alex update
Rachael
Tears! You are the best person I know at taking blog carnivals/writing prompy things and turning them into truly AMAZING posts. He is adorable.
Rachaels last blog post..TGIF? More like FTFF.
Twitter: rachael1013
Larry
Your photos certainly provide your viewpoint but your writing gives such emotion to the photos — You certainly have a talent for writing and I applaud you for sharing that – brava!
(PS: are you using the new commentluv 2.1.5 plugin? If not, check it out – there’s some new features.)
Larrys last blog post..Room with a view
Mz. Nesbit
i love the mommy and me pics. those are priceless.
Mz. Nesbits last blog post..Oh Chad, how I love thee! What would I do with out you? Watch the boring ol’ news? blah!