• Nothing I’ve typed and deleted here sounded quite right, but you are sounding like healing is doing its thing and like you are cooperating with it, not that there won’t always be a scar, but hopefully there will be some peace. And some hope.

    (I’ve never named mine)

    January 12, 2009
  • Davin is a beautiful name, Lotus. Now you have a name for the angel watching over you. I hope he brings you more hope and healing. :)

    Kristas last blog post..CPSIA Issue

    January 12, 2009
  • You choose beautiful name. His little heart loved you too because from the very first second he felt your love

    kompostelas last blog post..10 Things My Toddler Teaches Me Every Day

    January 12, 2009
  • It is a beautiful name.

    My heart aches for you, John and Braden.

    Suzannes last blog post..Suzanne’s Soundtrack Sunday

    January 12, 2009
  • Dammit, woman. You’re inspirational.

    Mr Ladys last blog post..You Will Be Assimilated. Resistance is Futile.

    January 12, 2009
  • Indeed he is beloved.


    Veronicas last blog post..Nope.

    January 12, 2009
  • I just cried. That’s the most perfect name, ever.

    Zoeyjanes last blog post..On Drawing the Line

    January 12, 2009
  • A fitting name :)

    Mistress Bs last blog post..Menu Plan Monday

    January 12, 2009
  • Fe

    a beautiful name for a beautiful boy. his story will be remembered.

    Fes last blog post..Gratitude… the dark side…

    January 12, 2009
  • It is perfect. <3

    January 12, 2009
  • He has a beautiful name and will alway be loved.

    wrights last blog post..

    January 12, 2009
  • I am so sorry you had so little time with Davin. He is too precious to forget. Beloved indeed.

    “though in reality you were hardly there ~ in my heart you were everything”

    Hope is sometimes all we can hold onto –

    Trishs last blog post..Sat Day – did you ?

    January 12, 2009
  • What a beautiful thing to do.

    Nesss last blog post..A Bolt of Inspiration

    January 12, 2009
  • Oh, what a beautiful name. I love it.

    I’m glad you named him. I have an aunt who miscarried at 4 or 5 months… They named him Christopher. About 25 years later, I still think of Christopher, a baby I never met. In fact, I thought about him last week.

    Much love…

    Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)s last blog post..I prefer it this weigh…

    January 12, 2009
  • Taz

    big hugs..

    am thinking of you

    Tazs last blog post..64 Weeks Old and 6 Weeks Old..

    January 12, 2009
  • Oh, honey. If I could reach through this screen and give you a hug, I would.

    That’s a beautiful name you’ve given him.

    You keep hanging in there, you hear?

    Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..Closing in on HER…

    January 12, 2009
  • Michelle

    Davin … Beloved … Hope …

    So beautiful …

    January 12, 2009
  • Vic

    It’s a beautiful name. I’m glad to see your hope getting stronger.

    January 12, 2009
  • It’s a wonderful name, and I’m so sorry that you never got to hold him. Hugs…

    badness jonss last blog post..Livid

    January 12, 2009
  • What a beautiful name for your precious angel.

    (((big hugs)))

    connies last blog post..Weekly Winners=January 4th-10th 2009

    January 12, 2009
  • <3

    lceels last blog post..Questions and Answers

    January 12, 2009
  • Rachel

    It is a very beautiful name. Thanks you for sharing.

    January 12, 2009
  • Lindsay

    That’s a great name :) I hope that you feel hope again very soon :)

    Lindsays last blog post..Lindsay761: Today is Nathan’s birthday!!! 5 yrs old today and He’s so excited! :)

    January 12, 2009
  • i’m glad your hope is getting a little stronger. You are still in my thoughts.

    Vicky (Secret Mom Thoughts)s last blog post..First Sledding Ride By Herself

    January 12, 2009
  • You share your raw feelings so beautifully and perfectly. And you picked the perfect name for your sweet baby. I am praying for you and John and wishing you peace. You are a good Mom.

    Kim H.s last blog post..Who doesn’t love some free stuff?…

    January 12, 2009
  • Wow….ummm…..I really don’t know what to say…..I have no idea…..does having an answer give you peace? Does knowing his gender and giving him a name give you peace? Or is it all the more scary and chaotic in your head now? I would imagine that it would make you miss him even more now.

    It is a scary diagnosis, I know that. I actually hadn’t heard of it until a few months ago when the YouTube video “99 Balloons” was featured on Oprah.

    Stay strong Lotus! Your words pay tribute to him more than you will ever know. Your posts about your babies are just so beautiful and poignant.

    AnnDs last blog post..Still no WW!

    January 12, 2009
  • still here with you… with nothing worthwhile to say.

    January 12, 2009
  • Lotus, Davin is a gorgeous name. He is watching down on you guys, he’s your angel =)

    You guys are still in my thoughts and prayers every day. I know all the words we say can’t make the pain go away but I’m hoping they help just a bit.

    Lisas last blog post..Weekly Winners

    January 12, 2009
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more I could say or do. I’d definitely give you a huge snurfling crying hug if you were right here.

    Marias last blog post..weekly winners – jan 3-10

    January 12, 2009
  • Tranny Head

    What a horrible, cold place medical facilities can be. I’m so sorry. Davin is a beautiful name.

    Tranny Heads last blog post..You Say TomAYto, I Say Tomahto …. Another Post in which I Laugh at Granilla

    January 12, 2009
  • *BIG HUGS* This had to be difficult to share and I thank you for sharing.

    Never doubt for one second that Davin will always be with you and the time you spent with him, though it wasn’t quite the way you hoped, was precious and NOT wasted.

    I hope you have found a support group or someone to help you heal. You will never be the same, but remember that is not always a bad thing.

    Chickadees last blog post..Lessons I Learned This Weekend

    January 12, 2009
  • Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. Davin is a beautiful name and he will be remembered always. *HUGS*

    Tracys last blog post..Soooo…

    January 12, 2009
  • So beautiful, Lotus. A perfect name for one so very, very loved. So many words of encouragement I want to write that are completely stuck in my knuckles, so I’ll just send more online hugs and cry along with you.

    annes last blog post..Fellow Orlandonians, I need your help!

    January 12, 2009
  • Davin is a beautiful name. It’s perfect. (((HUGS)))

    January 12, 2009
  • kerry

    we are greiving with you and send love and strength. it is a beautiful name.

    January 12, 2009
  • Alison

    That is a beautiful name! I love it.

    January 12, 2009
  • Perfect, fitting, beautiful name, Lotus. Praying for you.

    Claire in CA, USAs last blog post..Public Service Announcement

    January 12, 2009
  • *hugs*
    That is a beautiful name, and a perfect choice.

    January 12, 2009
  • Davin is a beautiful, fitting name. May the beauty of his spirit always give you Hope dear one. I know it hurts, this loss I’ve been there myself. Right now it sounds like the pieces of the puzzle are shifting, allowing you room to heal. Your in my thoughts! (Hugs)Indigo

    Indigos last blog post..Laying Amid The Snow And Ice

    January 12, 2009
  • Oh honey, Davin is beautiful. I’m so sorry. I hope it is a comfort to know what happened. Most people never know.


    Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..

    January 12, 2009
  • Beautiful, Lotus. Both the name and your thoughts.

    You hang in there, we (your loyal readers) are taking care of business in the meantime.

    Gabriels last blog post..Top Commentators – December 2008

    January 12, 2009
  • What a perfect name for your son. I’m glad you named him and want to remember him positively. He is yours, always.

    Barb @ getupandplays last blog post..Project 365

    January 12, 2009
  • A beautiful name. I wish you all the best.

    January 12, 2009
  • I really wish I had the perfect thing to say. But I don’t, and nobody does. Except that we love you, you’re special.

    Heidis last blog post..4:00am

    January 12, 2009
  • Davin is a beautiful name. I’m sure he felt your love, for as long as he was here.

    There is nothing I can say that makes any difference, I know, I’ve been there. Mine was named Piper. She only made it too 14 weeks. Just know you have a lot of people out here thinking good thoughts your way.

    Issas last blog post..Breaking news

    January 12, 2009
  • Mary "MauiMary"

    With time comes (sometimes very slowly) healing and with healing the hope will come again. Davin is unique. A unique and special name for a unique and special baby. Y’all are still in my prayers and thoughts. Hugs to you, John and Braden.


    January 12, 2009
  • Such a beautiful name and such a fitting post.


    You’re an amazing, amazing woman!

    sam {temptingmama}s last blog post..Floating Like A Rock

    January 12, 2009
  • gooddog

    thank you for posting.
    what an amazing thing to share. what a dear boy.
    hang in there. maybe it is helpful to know a “why?” (just one of the many “why”s- I know, I’ve been there)
    Thinking of you.

    January 12, 2009
  • T with Honey

    Davin is a wonderful name for him. After reading this post anyone, ANYone would know for sure that he is beloved.
    Thinking of him. Continuing to hug you with prayers.

    January 12, 2009
  • Thank you for sharing that. I needed a good cry anyway. His name is beautiful. And perfect.

    January 12, 2009
  • bawling. that is one of the most beautiful things i have ever read.

    Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!s last blog post..An anatomy lesson, brought to you by Emily and Jenny

    January 12, 2009
  • I keep typing, then deleting, then retyping comments here. There are no words. I am sorry.

    January 12, 2009
  • I’ve only been lurking here a short while but had to delurk to tell you how sorry I am.
    In November 2003, I miscarried my 2nd child at 10 weeks (even though she had died at only 7 weeks gestation) and only have a pregnancy test and some faint memories to remind me of this precious life I knew for too short a time. I also wish I’d asked for an ultrasound picture.

    Davin is a lovely name.

    Amandas last blog post..King Tide

    January 12, 2009
  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss. your post was beautiful!

    Courtney from Mommie Blogss last blog post..double l is sick, mommie is beat and can’t miss out on the delurking totally…

    January 12, 2009
  • Gosh-I dont know what to say…my eyes are filled with tears and my heart hurts for you & the pain that your going through.
    What a beloved name.

    Spoiled Mommys last blog post..Pink and Oh So Pretty!

    January 12, 2009
  • Davin is a beautiful name. I’m glad he taught you that it’s ok to hope. Without that there is very little. Take good care of yourself.

    Barbaras last blog post..12/365 – Show Me The Monet

    January 12, 2009
  • So beautiful, Lotus.

    Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Depression equals self-absorbed asshole?

    January 12, 2009
  • That’s a beautiful name.
    I’m in tears here actually. I lost twins before I fell pregnant with Connor, and the tests revealed that they had Trisomy 18. Hectic how similar our pregnancy struggles have been.

    January 12, 2009
  • This was a beautiful post that both shows hints of closure and also shows that you are celebrating what time you were given with this little one, with Davin.

    It is so great that you are allowing us to share in the grief process as you experience it. I have do doubt that your openness and honesty will help others who are or who have been through the same thing.

    It is also good to know what the cause was and that it was nothing you had any control over.

    Hope is a wonderful thing and it keeps us going, I see your hope in this post and that shows great strength and healing in you. Hugs! You are doing great babe.

    Talinas last blog post..We toured The Farm and are super pleased!

    January 12, 2009
  • (((hugs))) for you and for your beloved..

    frogpondsrocks last blog post..Weeekly Winnners

    January 12, 2009
  • Beautiful, Lotus.
    Just Beautiful.

    {hugs} and love my darling.

    Rachels last blog post..If I Had Known

    January 12, 2009
  • I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I hope that 2009 brings you healing and happiness.

    Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..Flash Me Baby!

    January 12, 2009
  • Kim

    Oh Lotus.. that is a beautiful name..

    oh..and I sending another big big hug..

    Kims last blog post..Weekly Winners

    January 12, 2009
  • Sandi

    A lovely name. Hugs to you!

    January 12, 2009
  • What a beautiful unique name, just like he was!

    January 12, 2009
  • Chibi Jeebs

    New reader who hasn’t made it that far back in your archives, but I wanted to say that I’m very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

    January 12, 2009
  • And Davin Carroll will never be forgotten. I think Mr.Lady said it best “Dammit, woman. You’re inspirational.”

    Yep you are.

    Ashley @ mrs007.coms last blog post..Wii hazards

    January 12, 2009
  • Lotus, that’s so beautiful. I’m grateful you’re sharing this journey with us. Blessings and hugs.

    January 12, 2009
  • Stop freaking making me cry woman. Seriously, I’m still so very sorry and think of you often. Maybe having an answer to the “why” will give you some measure of piece? I never had any testing done to get answers so I don’t know…but regardless it doesn’t stop the pain.

    Michelles last blog post..Preciousssss…*

    January 12, 2009
  • I never know the right words and they aren’t coming around this time either. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss and can’t fathom what you must have felt and are still feeling. I am glad that your hope is growing though. May you find comfort in it and through time may it blossom for you. Hugs!!

    Mel @ A Box of Chocolatess last blog post..Going Back in Time

    January 12, 2009
  • Jessica

    Very beautiful! Many hugs!

    January 12, 2009
  • Very beautifully written. This sounded like a bit of healing is taking place. Davin will live in you heart forever as Grayson (my grandson for 26 weeks) lives in mine.

    Continue to heal and then begin to hope. :)

    Patsys last blog post..100 Word Challenge — March & Unconscious Mutterings

    January 12, 2009
  • I so sorry for your loss of Davin. Truly sorry.

    January 12, 2009
  • what a beautifully written post.
    i’m sorry for your loss.
    it seems so lame, but expresses truly what i feel.
    what else to say? i’m just sorry.
    i wish peaceful healing for you lotus.

    janelles last blog post..Project 365 Update for Weeks 1 and 2

    January 12, 2009
  • Many hugs to you again, Lotus. This was simply beautiful-just as you are.

    Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Haiku Friday

    January 12, 2009
  • Stephanie

    A beautiful name, for a tiny angel. Hugs to you.

    Stephanies last blog post..Of Twitter, eggs and MTV.

    January 12, 2009
  • It’s a good name. Davin. Hope.
    You are in my heart.

    witchypoos last blog post..Nitpicking

    January 12, 2009
  • giving someone a name makes so much difference.

    Tanyas last blog post..2 of the best years of my life…

    January 12, 2009
  • What a beautiful post, and a nice tribute to Davin. He will certainly be able to rest in peace with a loving mother like you to remember him.

    Rachaels last blog post..I Can Hear You Breathing

    January 12, 2009
  • Perfect name. You are amazing.

    Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..A Big Round Of Applause For Wegmans

    January 12, 2009
  • tiff

    Nothing seems right to say. Nothing could tell you how beautiful that name is and how I believe in hope.

    January 12, 2009
  • Hmm, I have no wise words. I have only trite, unamusing quips that provide neither comfort nor knowledge.

    I can cyber-hug ya. Want that?


    Texan Mamas last blog post..Girl Scouts are the Spawn of the Devil

    January 13, 2009
  • I am without words, but yours are so beautiful they say all that needs to be said. Hold on to your hope and your love.

    fruitladys last blog post..Behavin’ like fool

    January 13, 2009
  • Oh Lotus. I am so sad for you. You gave a beautiful name to a precious gift of a child. Until you get there, we will all hope for you.

    Karins last blog post..A walk at the Helderberg Nature Reserve

    January 13, 2009
  • Oh, Lotus. I can only imagine how you must feel going through all of this. I’m so very sorry for the loss of this beautiful, hope-filled, joyous baby. I am so happy to see that there is some hope still in your life, that he has left his angel mark on you. I hope this new year brings you peace and hope.

    Bunnys last blog post..Who Are They?

    January 13, 2009
  • Sarah

    Davin is a great name and he is beloved.

    Sarahs last blog post..12 items or less. Never again. Well, at least not so much.

    January 13, 2009
  • Davin is a lovely name.

    And it’s good to know what happened, even though it doesn’t help at all to take away the hurt. But as you said, hang on to hope.

    Christinas last blog post..How A Bendy Straw Nearly Made Me Cry

    January 13, 2009
  • I’m so sorry for you, Lotus. My heart reaches out to you.

    January 13, 2009
  • I’m crying, Lotus. So beautiful. Your son’s name, perfect.

    Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..Never go bra shopping when you’re famished

    January 13, 2009
  • Such a beautiful tribute – and a most fitting name.

    My wish for you is that you keep hoping… keep believing… I’m proof it can happen even after 2 years of trying, 3 miscarriages, 2 D&C’s, endless bloodtests, 2 surgeries, and now an unbelievable high risk pregnancy in a 3rd world country.

    My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family.

    January 13, 2009
  • Karleigh

    I love you. Yes, keep hoping. I’m hoping for you, too.

    January 13, 2009
  • A perfect name for your wee boy. You’re in my thoughts and hopes!

    mommyknowss last blog post..I’m Keeping Score

    January 13, 2009
  • I did some reading on Trisomy 13 and I just don’t know what to say except that you’re all in my prayers. I don’t know why things happened as they did (and I’m not going to hand you “God’s Will” because that just isn’t cutting it for me, let alone thinking it would cut it for you) but I’m sorry as hell that they did. Hugs and prayers.

    PandoraWildes last blog post..Imported Incense Buy–CANCELLED

    January 13, 2009
  • You have my love, lady.

    imaginary binkys last blog post..Coffee Dude, part deux

    January 13, 2009
  • Anna Ellis

    I agree with everyone here. Davin is a perfect name. I’m always here for you Lotus. Always. Always.

    January 13, 2009
  • Ditto everyone else on the perfect name choice. That love never goes away.

    January 13, 2009
  • The name is beautiful. You will be with your Angel again some day. May you find peace in your heart and strength.

    January 13, 2009
  • I am sorry you ever had to write this post but it is beautiful. What a beautiful name for your little one…

    Elaines last blog post..WW – Lead Me

    January 14, 2009
  • Veronica Mitchell

    I haven’t been around the blogosphere much lately, so I didn’t know. I am so sorry you have gone through this again. This is a beautiful post, and such a loving tribute to little Davin.

    Veronica Mitchells last blog post..Hanging Up My Hat

    January 14, 2009
  • Khryste

    I love reading your blog. You have a great way with words. I am truly sorry for your losses, even though I don’t really know you – heartache is universal.

    Along with a host of other crap last year (that I dub ’08: The Year I Hate) my mother died only 2 weeks after I had my second baby and she never got to meet him.

    Anyway, If you are a reader, try checking out The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. It gave me fresh insight to help my grieving heart.

    January 14, 2009
  • Lotus – I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself.

    magpies last blog post..Fierce

    January 14, 2009
  • I’m so sorry your Beloved Davin is not in your arms, I know how empty they fill. I’ll ask my Jack to show him around the stars and my dad who passed the same day as Davin to watch over him. 😉

    Don’t you let anyone rush your grief, it’s hard and it sucks. Hugs from a stranger!

    Joeys last blog post..Today’s Prompt: Listen: Write about what you hear, right now.

    January 14, 2009
  • Bev

    Another amazing post. I love the name Davin.

    January 16, 2009
  • I’m not sure of your beliefs but these verses have always given me solace.

    “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
    Psalm 139:13-14

    Taras last blog post..Have I Lost My Mind?

    January 16, 2009
  • Amy

    Beautifully written.

    I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers.

    January 18, 2009
  • Oh, no, Lotus, I am a horrible friend. I just read this today. I am so sorry. So sorry. My heart is breaking for you–truly.

    He is certainly watching over you. I know it.

    loveyhs last blog post..My Triumphant 100 Post

    January 19, 2009
  • […] year, I lost a baby (Davin) right at three months into the pregnancy.  It was my second miscarriage of the year and, for many […]

    December 16, 2009
  • […] year ago last Sunday I suffered a miscarriage.  It was the first (but not the last) time I would experience the realized loss of a living being […]

    November 14, 2010

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