This week’s Showin’ Off On Saturday Challenge is brought to you by The Hawtalucion - the movement to become “uninvisible.”
Dawn has challenged us all to put together one outfit from clothes we already own that makes us feel good. We are to “step away from the sweatpants” and Get.Hawt.
Hm. Okay. Go into my closet. Find something to wear… that makes me look good. I may have forgotten how to do this.
I mean. Um. This is what I look like on any given day:
Except I put on a bra for you, to take this picture. You.Do.Not. want to see The Rack unfettered. Trust me. I mean – if you were to do something awesome while I was sans bra, and my hands were full? I could STILL get a nice clapping sound going for you just by jumping up and down. Let that mull for a minute. Wait for it… wait for it… there’s the look of disgust I was expecting. Alright!
Okay… going into the closet… be right back…
I did it! Got clothes from the closet! How do I look!?
What’s that you say? Ohhh. They have to be MY clothes? I can’t choose from John’s side of the closet? Darn. Ok.
So. I guess these are out of the question, then, too?
Darn! I was having so much fun doing this….
Going back to the closet…
Ok! I have got to be looking hot by now! And these are all MY clothes! What do you think???
No way. This isn’t flattering? Hm. I have clearly forgotten how to put an outfit together.
Sexy… I’m trying to look sexy, right?
So, should I wear one of these? Which one?
OH. WAIT. NONE OF THESE FIT ME ANYMORE. Thanks, Kevin&Leroy and Pattie.
Ok, let me try one more time.
I went into the bedroom looking for these GREAT polka dotted pants I have… but I tripped and fell and this mess got on me:
And somehow, I think this may be what we were going for?
Wait! Let’s see…Oh. Yes. The Rack approves.
And The Arse doesn’t look half bad!
And the shoes? Come on, baby. Yeah.
It’s a winner!
#1 by Veronica on January 26, 2008 - 2:52 AM
You look fantastic! I had to laugh at the finger in the boxer shorts. does that make me juvenile? Yeah, I thought so too.
My post will be up in a bit.
Veronica’s last blog post..My Australia
#2 by river on January 26, 2008 - 4:05 AM
Wow! Just—wow!. Very classy. Love that top and the necklace sets it off perfectly. And shoes to die for.
Laughed out loud at the finger in the shorts, got “the look” from grumblebum who likes SILENCE while he’s watching tv.
#3 by frogpondsrock on January 26, 2008 - 4:54 AM
Brilliant .. Sweetheart.. Totally brilliant.. hehehehe
kim
frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Favourite Photo Friday (on Saturday) #2
#4 by Sister Honey Bunch on January 26, 2008 - 5:55 AM
You are smokin’ hot!
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..The Postman Always Poops Once and other ramblings
#5 by Secret Agent Mama on January 26, 2008 - 6:01 AM
1) The everyday clothes: Show me a mom that doesn’t have them.
2) Not soooooo bad, but the penis is kinda small. Motion in the ocean, maybe?
3) HAWT! I have those Sketchers. I’ll a picture of them showcased in my WW tomorrow!
4) That read number looks bangin’.
5) Eff you, dude. You are not. You are not in a bad way. Leroy-shmeroy. I think you look damn fine, Lotus!
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (156/365)
#6 by Jenty on January 26, 2008 - 6:39 AM
Oh LOL! You’re a nut!
That outfit looks absolutely fab though! Even the butt looks good in it, so it must be a fantastic outfit!
Jenty’s last blog post..Our anniversary
#7 by Gordo on January 26, 2008 - 6:52 AM
Yep, definitely a winner. My sides are killing me from the laughing, though …
Gordo’s last blog post..W00t!
#8 by Tasina on January 26, 2008 - 7:04 AM
You look great. And there’s no way I’m doing this challenge. It’s freakin’ Saturday and I’ve made myself purdy all week – slobbo time here baby.
I tagged you with some bling – then I saw you already have that particular bling. But I saved the receipt so you should be able to return it for something you really want.
Cheers!
Tasina’s last blog post..Bling me baby
#9 by Rachel on January 26, 2008 - 7:12 AM
I love the green top and jeans! What kind of jeans are those?
Do you have any idea what kind of treasure you are? You are such a brilliant light and always make my day brighter
Thank you for putting a smile on my face and making me laugh, you cute little thing you! 
Rachel’s last blog post..Haiku Friday
#10 by HRH on January 26, 2008 - 7:25 AM
What not to wear doesn’t have anything on you sexy girl. And about the boxers–Oh no you didn’t! OMG…I may have nightmares tonight.
HRH’s last blog post..Throwing my fellow Texans under the sliding bus…
#11 by Angela on January 26, 2008 - 7:29 AM
Love that shirt (the last one! Yeah. That one)…giggling…
Angela’s last blog post..Shameless Plug and a Bit of Begging to Boot
#12 by Mrs Fussypants on January 26, 2008 - 7:39 AM
Oh Lotus!
The green top….I’m stealing it.
The boots….do we wear the same size? please?
The boxers…I’m putting you in time in, young lady!
love you, Alli
Mrs Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy’s Surprise Jewelry Giveaway!
#13 by Mrs Fussypants on January 26, 2008 - 7:40 AM
I haz no spellcheckz before I drink mah Java.
I’m putting you in time-out!
Iz to lazy 2 proofread.
Mrs Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy’s Surprise Jewelry Giveaway!
#14 by Dawn on January 26, 2008 - 8:17 AM
WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Swinging my arms around and making a scene .. WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Dawn’s last blog post..You say you want a Hawtalucion … yeah … you know …
#15 by Michelle on January 26, 2008 - 8:49 AM
What a fun post – love it! I was worried about you for a minute, but the end result is stunning. Well played.
Michelle’s last blog post..Friday Q&A – Help For Beanpoles
#16 by CableGirl on January 26, 2008 - 8:54 AM
Ok, I nearly peed myself a little reading that post. Thanks for that. Now *I* have to go search my closet. lol
CableGirl’s last blog post..How I feel after a baby free night
#17 by MommyTime on January 26, 2008 - 9:04 AM
You are freakin’ hilarious. You are the only person I can imagine who could put together a post about looking HOT and come off as both hot and humble at the same time. And did I mention hilarious? Quite impressive. Also intimidating for those of us who are less hot/hilarious.
In honor of Lotus and her incredible facility at inventing new words, I would like to offer the following totally new word that I think describes you perfectly: hotlarious. Feel free to use it however you like, like, say on a bumper sticker or t-shirt. When you make a million dollars, I won’t even ask for a commission. Unless the title of your first book is Hotlarious: The Best of Sarcastic Mom or some such…
MommyTime’s last blog post..Kew Gardens, all the hot July afternoons (PhotoHunt: Old-Fashioned)
#18 by Kitty on January 26, 2008 - 9:05 AM
So hawt…….. Not sure about the penis but hey I don’t have one so at least u got one ha ha The rack is nice..wishin’ I had one of those too!
#19 by Lilacspecs on January 26, 2008 - 9:25 AM
You look good! My rack looks good in NOTHING! When your body is a large and your boobies are an XXL it’s impossible to find balance, I swear.
Lilacspecs’s last blog post..Kit n Kaboodle
#20 by HappyCampers on January 26, 2008 - 9:40 AM
I love the black shirt…awesome! You are just plain funny girlie!
You always manage to tell a funny story with your posts. Always one of the first blogs I check daily for updates!
HappyCampers’s last blog post..Lost: Arms, heads, legs, hands, body…
#21 by Making My Own Fun on January 26, 2008 - 9:41 AM
I know that we just met and all, but I think I want to have your babies. Wait, are you telling me that the boxer thing isn’t real? Aw. Ew! Did I just say that?
Oh, and are you trying to say that Sketchers aren’t sexah? I have those babies. They look real good when I wear them on the elliptical trainer…
Making My Own Fun’s last blog post..Too Much Sitting Around
#22 by Rebecca on January 26, 2008 - 9:59 AM
You go, girl!
You are a riot.
Rebecca’s last blog post..Photo Hunt: Old-Fashioned
#23 by Z on January 26, 2008 - 10:02 AM
While that last outfit may be HAWT, I’m with you on loving (and playing with) the boxers!
Z’s last blog post..Rhetorical Question
#24 by Suzanne on January 26, 2008 - 10:08 AM
The shirt is great! Like the whole outfit.
Let’s see, my closet has 19 of the same style shirt in different colors and sleeve lengths. Some clothes that haven’t been worn since the first Bush administration and several Hawaiian dresses. Not nearly as much fun, but hey, I fit into the smallest hawaiian dress now. Woohoo!
Suzanne’s last blog post..The Rock Star Meme
#25 by Maggie on January 26, 2008 - 10:19 AM
You are just too cute and fun! And I do love the hawt outfit.
Maggie’s last blog post..Haiku Friday 1/25/08
#26 by Makeshift Mama on January 26, 2008 - 10:20 AM
Lookin’ sexy! That is SUCH a cute shirt – I love it! Can I borrow it sometime?
Makeshift Mama’s last blog post..A Mysterious Arrival
#27 by Kara - down to earth mommy on January 26, 2008 - 10:27 AM
awwww Viva Le Hawtolution! you have managed to keep it alive. Love love love that shirt, and so do all your named extras, the roushing or whatever its called is perfect and now I must find one like that for myself! Now you need to go somewere in that outfit with your hubby.
Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..Alternate sleeping arrangements
#28 by Sarah on January 26, 2008 - 10:42 AM
The actual outfit you chose is perfect for you. And man, I love those boots.
Gotta say, though, I’ve got the “Cute Chick” PJ set,
, but mine’s the pants version 
Sarah’s last blog post..Showin’ Off On Saturday
#29 by Marie on January 26, 2008 - 10:47 AM
I thought about doing this but the only pants that fit me right now are my jammy bottoms.
Marie’s last blog post..My Journey to Hell and Back, or: How to Potty Train a Stubborn Child
#30 by zoeyjane on January 26, 2008 - 10:50 AM
gorgeous. (but you know, i love the boxers so much more)
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Back to the 60s
#31 by Stacey on January 26, 2008 - 11:32 AM
LMAO! I sooo enjoyed this! And ya do look mighty hawt!
#32 by Jennifer H on January 26, 2008 - 11:37 AM
So friggin’ funny. Loved the boxers. Hawt, indeed.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..Bugs, bats and other animals
#33 by Beck on January 26, 2008 - 11:37 AM
You, my friend, are a beautiful woman.
I dress like a moron most of the time. A moron who dresses in the dark.
Beck’s last blog post..Another Update
#34 by regina on January 26, 2008 - 11:53 AM
You are certifiably a nut! I love it! You look great, those boots are awesome!
regina’s last blog post..More Awards To Pass On! Bare with me…
#35 by Eve on January 26, 2008 - 12:28 PM
Oh, yeah. I’m into wearing the pj’s both day and night. I’m so ashamed. *hangdog expression*
I love the hearts on the boxers. Looked for a pair of those once many years ago. However, that finger shocked my old grandma sensibilities. *shaking finger in your face* That lasted almost half a second.
Love the final outfit, but my favorite is the one with the baseball cap, the windbreaker, and the blue shorts over black pants. Classic look!
Eve’s last blog post..Photo Hunt 2: Old Fashioned
#36 by MadameMeow on January 26, 2008 - 12:51 PM
ROFL! You are too funny! I’m sure you’ve heard it tons of times now, but the finger killed me! Caught me by surprise, and I laughed too hard!
I may do something like this… but it may not be today, haha. That would require actually taking that shower… and wearing something besides my pajamas and bathrobe…
Or maybe I will. I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess!
MadameMeow’s last blog post..Elmo’s Potty Time… extended
#37 by Junebug on January 26, 2008 - 1:07 PM
That is a very flattering shirt. Is it from Express? I like it. I have been having trouble getting your page to load lately. Has anything changed?
Junebug’s last blog post..Blast from the Past-Mode-o-Day
#38 by Mackenzie's Momma on January 26, 2008 - 1:27 PM
Oh, Lotus i love the outfit. If only i could get my camera to work half decently i’d participate maybe i’ll join later. I love the dresses I used to have a few of those layin around here but no more. no more.
Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..THE Scrapbook
#39 by Jamie on January 26, 2008 - 1:27 PM
You look hawt! I love the boots, top, and jeans. Totally something I would wear and damn I am hot. (she types wearing stained jeans, a sweater and some sort of fugly geriatric warm slipper socks with dog hair on them)
That penis finger in the Valentine’s boxer shot?
Hawt.
Jamie’s last blog post..You Are Getting Very, Very Smelly, I Mean Sleepy
#40 by Manda on January 26, 2008 - 3:07 PM
Love the finger out the boxer hole…so priceless.
Manda’s last blog post..Random Confessions About Myself (Read ‘em and Weep)
#41 by LunaNik on January 26, 2008 - 3:22 PM
You are just…hilarious. Brilliant post. The finger thing…OMG!!! Love it.
LunaNik’s last blog post..In honor of Blog Hoppers Weekend…
#42 by Dana on January 26, 2008 - 4:53 PM
I LOOOOOVE this post! And that top is awesome. Anything ruched works for me. I have to hide the mummy tummy.
Dana’s last blog post..At War
#43 by Marlee on January 26, 2008 - 5:15 PM
OMG, your wardrobe is WAY better than mine!!!
#44 by Nancy on January 26, 2008 - 5:26 PM
As hilarious as the post is …. I love your shirt!
Please tell … where did you buy it?
(I have been stalking, pilfering through your archives … and damn near peeing my pasts with laughter)
#45 by Taz on January 26, 2008 - 5:26 PM
the last outfit was definatly a winner..
#46 by Tracy D on January 26, 2008 - 5:51 PM
Dayum! You are Hawt!!! Love the outfit. I almost snorted rootbeer all over my monitor at the finger in the boxers pic!
Tracy D’s last blog post..Speaking Of Speech…
#47 by Bonnie on January 26, 2008 - 5:52 PM
I’m glad you said the jersey was John’s …
Bonnie’s last blog post..I want to kung-fu him
#48 by Laura on January 26, 2008 - 5:59 PM
Lotsa fun! You look awesome! LOVE the shoes!!!!
Laura’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday, Edition 3
#49 by Jerseygirl89 on January 26, 2008 - 6:07 PM
Great photo journey! I think I have the same boots (I can’t quite remember since I can’t remember the last time I tried for “hawt”) and I LOVE your top.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Revenge of the Trashy
#50 by Sandy (Momisodes) on January 26, 2008 - 6:20 PM
LMAO at the finger! Da-yum girl! You look HAWT in those jeans!
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Holey Goodness
#51 by Maria on January 26, 2008 - 6:58 PM
Whoa – hotness!!
Love the finger bit.
Maria’s last blog post..Mi Pobrecita
#52 by Elizabeth Coplan on January 26, 2008 - 7:31 PM
Personally, I like the Dallas Cowboys jersey.
P.S. I voted for you!
#53 by bred on January 26, 2008 - 8:16 PM
oh my god… you’re too cute. i love the finger-weenie, sticking out of your boxers.
lmao over here, thanks!! 
bred’s last blog post..PhotoHunt 94: Old-Fashioned
#54 by tommie on January 26, 2008 - 8:28 PM
You are too cute! I should have taken a pic of me in my date outfit tonight….oh well.
tommie’s last blog post..Paying it forward
#55 by Ree on January 26, 2008 - 8:33 PM
It is soooo hot.
Ree’s last blog post..Showin’ Off Saturday
#56 by HappyCampers on January 26, 2008 - 9:06 PM
And the pink socks…and pj(?) pants…That’s MY work/Mommy/homeschool teacher/maid outfit. Did you raid my closet? I even have a pair of pink stripey socks I love!
HappyCampers’s last blog post..Saturday Quote
#57 by Karen MEG on January 26, 2008 - 10:06 PM
Smokin’ hawt boxers, I like the appendage…
but seriously, the last top and jeans, hot stylin’ mama Lotus.
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Look who’s moved in with us
#58 by Karen Sugarpants on January 26, 2008 - 10:11 PM
Dear God woman, you are hysterically funny and absolutely the cutest!
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Mini Complaint Letters & A Record Album
#59 by bmgmom on January 26, 2008 - 10:12 PM
Too fun!! You rock, Lotus!!
bmgmom’s last blog post..Free Rice – A Site with a Purpose
#60 by BookMamma Buys the Next Round on January 26, 2008 - 10:32 PM
Yay, YAY! I’ve found another loverly favorite blog thanks to Weekend Bloghopping!!
BookMamma Buys the Next Round’s last blog post..From Curly Top to Cue Ball
#61 by Hookin' Angel on January 26, 2008 - 10:34 PM
You are too sweet. You’re going to be a favorite of the bloggin’ daddy’s this weekend.
Sorry, no post love today. I’m so tired because I was up so late last night with this….
I’m going to bed soon
I’d do this if I could find the camera, but I’d probably just take 15 pictures of my awesome dress shoes that I bought a while ago and just found TODAY! Woo hoo, church is tomorrow! I LOVE MY SHOES!!! Even my new pair of gym shoes are awesome
Happy Hoppin’!
Hookin’ Angel
Hookin’ Angel’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #3 – First in 5 Years!
#62 by Karen on January 26, 2008 - 10:50 PM
New goal: lose 100 frickin’ pounds and go shopping.
I am jealous.
Karen’s last blog post..Busy Day
#63 by MamaWise on January 26, 2008 - 10:53 PM
WOOHOO – love the pics!!! I think I inadvertently did a “showing off Saturday” post on my blog tonight. But it’s me from 4 years ago LOL.
Oh yeah, your page loads fine for me
MamaWise’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday Scaries
#64 by Jenn on January 26, 2008 - 11:18 PM
Woman, you are hilarious! Following you on Twitter is not enough. Now I have found a new blog obsession.
The outfits? All of them? Rock ‘em!
#65 by julie on January 26, 2008 - 11:36 PM
Wow. You look terrific! And this is very very funny!
I didn’t put together an outfit, but I did choose green frames when I got much needed new glasses this past week — very uninvisible frames.
julie’s last blog post..Favorite Photo Friday. On Saturday. The Abe version.
#66 by Just a mom on January 27, 2008 - 12:06 AM
#67 like you care BUT YOU LOOK GREAT
Just a mom’s last blog post..ALL DONE I LOVE IT,,,,,
#67 by Kat on January 27, 2008 - 2:19 AM
Pritttty!
And there’s that rack again!
HAWT!
Kat’s last blog post..Small Male Instrument Isn’t a Problem
#68 by imaginary sarah on January 27, 2008 - 3:18 AM
I love it when you rock out with your cock out.
Why haven’t we been naked together yet? It’s really perplexing.
imaginary sarah’s last blog post..I will beet you
#69 by lceel on January 27, 2008 - 12:20 PM
Absolutely no comment. At least, none I can make in mixed company. Except, perhaps, W.O.W.
lceel’s last blog post..Sunday’s good boy
#70 by Khurt L Williams on January 27, 2008 - 12:22 PM
This is too funny. You crack me up. No. Rreally. I think I split my pants.
Khurt L Williams’s last blog post..Stop the Spying
#71 by oliveoyl64 on January 27, 2008 - 4:37 PM
Good lordy… I have got to remember to go pee-pee before I read your blog. or wear a depends.
The finger and the boxers is fuuuuuuny!
oliveoyl64’s last blog post..WAAAHHHHH!!!!!
#72 by Irene on January 27, 2008 - 6:33 PM
That was so funny! And yes, that outfit is hawt. I love the shirt!! Did you tell where it came from? Although I am not sure it would work for me, because, yeah, the rack situation is quite different over here.
Yes, my bra size is now smaller than my 14 yo niece. Sad.
Irene’s last blog post..Mornings, kids, sleeping in?
#73 by shanel on January 27, 2008 - 6:59 PM
Ok, you definitely did the damn thang!
Perfect outfit and the end and shoes are fabulous.
#74 by amy on January 27, 2008 - 7:37 PM
OMG, freakin’ hilarious!! The finger in the boxer, funniest damn thing I’ve seen all day! Thanks for the laugh. Well you always make me laugh!
amy’s last blog post..I should listen to myself more often
#75 by Jenni on January 27, 2008 - 8:05 PM
In the words of my 2 year old, “Mommy, you’re bootiful”
OK, but not the mommy part
Jenni’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday- Modest New Mom, Oxymoron?
#76 by Kim on January 27, 2008 - 8:20 PM
Freaking brilliant.. The boxer short pic is classic and you are so right about your arse..LOL
Hope you had a great weekend!!
Kim’s last blog post..Babble Babble Babble
#77 by Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven on January 27, 2008 - 8:49 PM
whew! it took me forever to scroll to the bottom of your comments! ;0)
I am soooo lovin’ that green top. GORGEOUS! And SO flattering!
Must. Have.
Blessings,
K
ps – I’ve been emailing you, but I just realized I’m using the wrong address; your gmail… oops!
#78 by JK on January 27, 2008 - 11:18 PM
You are hilarious! And we do the same thing with the hole in front of our boxers…
JK’s last blog post..Tombstone ideas?
#79 by Autumn Dahlia on January 28, 2008 - 9:12 AM
The finger in the boxers made me shoot Diet Coke from my nose.
Or maybe I had to say that to prove that I am actually drinking a DIET beverage.
I had to skip the pic in the Cowboys jersey though (twitch, twitch, cringe).
You cleaned up right fine there, little missy!
Autumn Dahlia’s last blog post..Just another manic Monday.
#80 by justmylife on January 28, 2008 - 10:20 AM
I have to say finger in the boxer hole, LOL!!!! Outfi looked great.
justmylife’s last blog post..I’m alive and giving Thanks!
#81 by A Lil' Irish Lass on January 28, 2008 - 12:04 PM
Sarcastic Mom, I’m in love with you.
A Lil’ Irish Lass’s last blog post..Don’t Look Now, But I Think It Verged On Perfect