I guess I should go look up ole’ Baldie.

When I posted about how Braden ventured to improve the (obviously) drab paintjob in our new rental home yesterday, I got a RESOUNDING response in comments:

“BUY THE FRIGGIN’ MR. CLEAN MAGIC ERASER.  REALLY.  BUY IT OR WE’LL RAPE YOU WITH A BROOM HANDLE, YOU IDIOT!”

Okay, so I added that last thingie.  But just mostly because I’m kind of tired and out of it.  Ok, okay.  It’s because I’m deranged and psychotic.

A couple of you asked me if it came off the wall okay, and I laughed, because I took the time to photograph it, but I haven’t even considered cleaning it.  If you could see how much of our crap is sitting in heaps and piles all over the place, you’d understand that it’s soooo not on the top of my list of things I even give half a flying turd about.

Oh, that and the fact that I’m a pretty crappy cleaningthingstypeperson. 

In fact, I’m much better at things like playing in the yard…
Extra Luck?

…and relaxing in the bath tub.
If Only All Time... Relaxing

These talents take much practice to perfect.  I hone my skills carefully and I refuse to let the perfection I have so carefully developed dull from lack of repetition.

Just sayin.

So, back to the marks on the wall thing.

I do have to mention that Mr. Lady told me to spray hair spray on it and wipe it off.  This did a couple of things for me: reminded me of how practically anything she says makes me laugh (even if she means it) and reminded me that I have no idea where half of my stuff is anymore. 

What box is the hairspray in?  Who the hell knows, people!  It’s probably in the pile of boxes in the garage that are mingling with pieces of upside-down furniture, randomly draped curtains and scattered clothes-hangers.  For all I know, it is procreating with the garden hose.  God help us.

Speaking of, I better find the box with the clean underwear in it or wash the ones I’m currently wearing one of these days.

And NO.  There’s no such thing as TMI at Sarcastic Mom’s Place.

Once I get my unmentionables washed and weave my way through the garage to the car, I’ll look up ole’ Baldie and give him a go, reporting back to all of you on how it went.

And I’ll even buy the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and see if it takes the marks off the wall.


45 comments


  • “For all I know, it is procreating with the garden hose. God help us.” SNORT. You almost made me wake up the baby. Bad Lotus.

    March 27, 2008
  • Yup. That one got me, too. Hey, if that magic eraser thing can take a decade of grime off a canoe, it can take a bit of crayon off the wall. ;-)

    Gordo’s last blog post..YAY! Happy Dance!

    March 27, 2008
  • I thought of Magic Eraser right away but didn’t say anything because I thought everybody knew… ;) Hairspray. Now that’s clever.

    Ah, that bathtub. By the time I came out of there, Braden would have painted the entire house with that block. If it all matched, I’d call it good and get back in for another soak.

    Maggie’s last blog post..Balls. Balance. Rings. Patience.

    March 27, 2008
  • river

    Ole’ Baldie? I’m confused. Please explain.

    March 27, 2008
  • Didn’t take you long to break in that tub..good for you! Branden is going to think that big thing is a swimming pool!

    MP’s last blog post..OK…I think I’m ready

    March 27, 2008
  • Yay for the bath! Boo for the wall! Must. Find. Underwear. Been there. twice in 2 years. Enjoy!

    ‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..Monday Blahs

    March 27, 2008
  • I want that peaceful feeling you are sending me in that bath shot. Peace like that needs time and nurturing.

    Unpacking sucks. It sucks even worse when you don’t know where the crap is you need because people have moved it.

    Sucks more when the person moving things is under 3 ft tall and doesn’t respond to eye rolling and sarcastic comments.

    Veronica’s last blog post..Dear Libido,

    March 27, 2008
  • no such thing as TMI here either.

    3 months and counting and STILL in boxes,

    when can I stop blaming it on the toddler?

    M.

    MizFit’s last blog post..Guest Chef Time.

    March 27, 2008
  • oops

    must take comment hiatus.

    just saw how many I have!

    :)

    M.

    MizFit’s last blog post..Guest Chef Time.

    March 27, 2008
  • Z

    And this post is exactly why I love reading you…

    And, whoo boy, am I jealous of that bath!

    Z’s last blog post..Quote

    March 27, 2008
  • hahahahaa.

    <3 your humor.

    Ree’s last blog post..Stupidity, Personified

    March 27, 2008
  • I’m with you. I would rather be taking a bath! But, those magic erasers are great. It’ll take it right off! I also love cleaning stubborn bathtub stains with it. It truly is magic! Relax girl, you deserve it!

    AnnD’s last blog post..W O R D L E S S W E D N E S D A Y

    March 27, 2008
  • Ali

    Hey girl — I know everyone is in lurv with the magic eraser, but I feel compelled to warn you to not let any chillin”s play with them. I read a post a while back about a mom who was letting her son play with a magic eraser (I think he was pretend cleaning) and he had touched the magic eraser to his cheeks and face, just playing around. Well, the chemicals from those suckers gave him 1st and 2nd degree burns if I remember correctly. She posted pictures of the burns on his face and it was terrible.

    So, anyone buying those things, proceed with caution! Wear gloves and don’t let your kiddos touch them. :O)

    PSA over!

    Ali’s last blog post..Daily Recipe – Old School Tuna Melts

    March 27, 2008
  • Ditto on that last post. I have photos of my kid when I tried to take permanent marker off his face with Magic Eraser. Only, I didn’t know it was a Magic Eraser…thought it was a sponge. It was sad. Maybe I will post it one day, if no one calls CPS on me. Also, there is a product called Goof Off 2 (make sure it has the “2″). It stinks something awful, but works like magic. Good luck with that!!

    Kelly’s last blog post..100 Questions answered

    March 27, 2008
  • Ohhhh….I forgot to suggest the Magic Eraser Sponge! I couldn’t live without them. They clean EVERYTHING of ANYTHING! I’m talking permanent markers off the kitchen floor. They rock. I’ve always got a box of them under my kitchen sink~!

    HappyCampers’s last blog post..Getting From A To B….By Way Of C!

    March 27, 2008
  • 1) Magic Erasers are from God.
    2) Mr. Lady is from God.
    3) Only God knows where your hairspray is.

    I will pray.

    Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (214/365) | Weekend Odyssey

    March 27, 2008
  • 1) Magic Erasers are from God.
    2) Mr. Lady is from God.
    3) Only God knows where your hairspray is.

    I will pray.

    Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen XXIX: 13 Fun Internet Places for Kids!

    March 27, 2008
  • The Magic Eraser only works if your walls are painted in oil based paint (if it’s shiny). If it’s not, it’s more porous, and the only hope is touch-up paint. Sometimes it will come off with lighter fluid, depending on the brand of crayon or marker. So check your walls for shine before you waste your money like I did.

    Memarie Lane’s last blog post..All I Ask of You

    March 27, 2008
  • The Mom Bomb

    I was also unaware of this Magic Eraser thing. It sounds like a recreational drug. Sigh. Yet more evidence of my mediocre domestic skillz.

    The Mom Bomb’s last blog post..Happy Seventh, Kiddos

    March 27, 2008
  • Your description of piles of stuff would normally make me laugh but since I am soon to be in the same predicament, it seems less funny. I’m hoping my nesting instincts kick in otherwise we’ll have boxes in our garage until our next move.

    My husband would marry the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser if he could. The Greek guy and his windex has nothing on my husband and his love of the magic eraser.

    Michelle’s last blog post..Still shaking

    March 27, 2008
  • It’ll be over soon just keep saying that and eventually you might get it done lol I feel for ya girl.

    March 27, 2008
  • Deeg

    Be very careful where you leave the Ole’ Baldies sponge! I’ve heard some horror stories about children who got ahold of them and put nasty chemical burns on their bodies (or mothers who did it because lets face it any dingbat can procreate and have a child)

    no, ive never actually googled these horror stories or checked to make sure they are real….but those sponges work magik i tell you-and im guessing its the amount of magik chemicals within them that make that happen-just sayin

    Deeg’s last blog post..Am I really Gonna YouTube You?

    March 27, 2008
  • LOL…you said pro-creating….( I did that once…no GOD HELP ME…Five times….(Sorry very mature of me i know…I am in therapy.)

    March 27, 2008
  • I have never heard of these before where were they when my picaso was young and using my walls?

    March 27, 2008
  • Be careful with that magic eraser thing. It has caused chemical burns. So wear gloves, IF you use it :)

    Ashley’s last blog post..Almost a year old…

    March 27, 2008
  • Wow, you look serene in that tub. Who would know you have boxes and piles lying around and red marks on your wall?? Just add more bubbles and forget the rest, Girl!

    Lyrics of My Life’s last blog post..The New Girl

    March 27, 2008
  • justmylife

    Another blog with a comment counter. OK, I’m not a stalker, yet…..
    Glad you got to enjoy the tub! The rest, well, it will get done at some point.

    justmylife’s last blog post..Hillary, Obama, and McCain……

    March 27, 2008
  • I’m on the edge of being bi-polor when it comes to my home or I might even be on the edge attention deficits when it come to my home.
    I’m on cleaning break.

    peppylady’s last blog post..Not Any Thrills Around Here.

    March 27, 2008
  • Buy the Eraser, because you should have one, but hairspray takes SHARPIES off a wall. It takes ANYTHING off a wall. I am totally serious. And do you think humor is sexy? Because I’ll totally keep making you laugh until you make out with me if you do.

    Just sayin’.

    Bathtub pictures….f%$&ing TEASE.

    Mr Lady’s last blog post..Steppin’ Out

    March 27, 2008
  • I am with Mr. Lady on that one! ;) (the tease part I know nothing about hairspray working or nay).

    But…

    I covet your bathtub, is that wrong?

    Kay’s last blog post..I think that’s why we had kids

    March 27, 2008
  • oh lordy, i want your bathtub. really.

    now.

    is that too soon, ya think?

    the planet of janet’s last blog post..Yes, Regis, this IS my final answer …
    Twitter:

    March 27, 2008
  • PS: the Magic Eraser is perfectly safe as long as your kids don’t SCRUB themselves with it. My boys use them for chores all the time. They’re just for BIGGER kids, you know? Keep them out of reach of anyone who could mistake them for an ice cream sandwich or a maxipad, and you’ll be just fine.

    Mr Lady’s last blog post..PSA

    March 27, 2008
  • You’re so funny! I love the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. I also love those disposable cleaning wipes – they take TONS off, too, and then I always have an incentive to clean the crud off my stove.

    Beck’s last blog post..Songs They SHOULD Sing On American Idol

    March 27, 2008
  • I’m in the same situation as you except we moved in almost a year ago! I’ve officially earned my masters in Procrastination.

    Joeythegirl’s last blog post..If you..BLANK…You live in Utah!

    March 27, 2008
  • ps Mr. Clean Magic Eraser didn’t work for me. Apparently the ‘Magic’ was missing from mine.

    Joeythegirl’s last blog post..If you..BLANK…You live in Utah!

    March 27, 2008
  • Jerinda

    You make me laugh. Just had to tell you. :0)

    Jerinda’s last blog post..Just a bit of a whine

    March 27, 2008
  • You’re supposed to unpack all the boxes when you move? What am I going to do with all those boxes that have been sitting in my garage these last 13 years? Hope your move is more productive than mine. =)

    Tara R.’s last blog post..I’m no angel
    Twitter:

    March 27, 2008
  • My daughter pulled a similar stunt by drawing in crayon on every glass surface in the house–my coffee table, my TVs, my computer monitor, the fish tank…

    Since it was before the bald dude put out the Magic Eraser, I used Windex All-Surface cleaner and it came off slick as s***.

    PandoraWilde’s last blog post..Inventory This Week

    March 27, 2008
  • Law Student Hot Mama

    Mr. Clean looks like a combination of a motorcycle thug and a skin head. I don’t trust that mofo.

    Law Student Hot Mama’s last blog post..Law School Prom

    March 27, 2008
  • You look like you are truely OUT of this packing-and-unpacking-cleaning-and-not stuff. Envy you, ‘cos I’m that kind of person who simply can’t relax at all when I have a whole list of whatever to do. I make sure I get them all done, even if I need to sleep. Humph! Its time to change me and learn to relax.

    Angeline’s last blog post..Dedicated to my son – Binbin

    March 27, 2008
  • I skimmed over before reading, as any good teacher will tell you is the best way to read important information, and I totally thought you were talking about a one-eyed baldy.

    A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Wordless 3.26.8

    March 27, 2008
  • Okay, girl, email me your address. I’m buying you two weeks worth of undies to give you time to unpack.

    Soaking in the tub is FAR MORE important than doing laundry, but you’ve gotta have clean skivvies for when you get out. So sayeth the woman who’s still got a mountain of boxes, but is bright pink from her tub time! (though my tub isn’t nearly as awesome as yours)

    Suzanne’s last blog post..Searching

    March 27, 2008
  • ooohh, packing that hairspray tidbit away for future use!

    tommie’s last blog post..who knew leaves were so much fun?

    March 27, 2008
  • Ah…always sarcastic…always lovin it!

    Beth_C’s last blog post..We have a guest. And he wasn’t invited.

    March 28, 2008
  • I totally feel for you. I moved 6 months ago with a 2 yo, a 6 mo and a teenager. I STILL don’t have everything unpacked! Good Luck!

    Tracy D’s last blog post..Busy busy busy

    March 28, 2008

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