“I Need To Ask You About A Part Of My Body I Don’t Know About”
- At February 16, 2012
- By Lotus Carroll
- In Humor, My Son, Parenting
23
So when Braden made this announcement, I marched right in there and told him to go for it. He was sitting there looking very calm and relaxed, and at my arrival he stood up. With a glorious erection. If that wasn’t enough (it really, really was enough. no. really.) then he yanked at his testicle skin and demanded, “What. is. THIS?”
“Testicles.”
“But what’s INSIDE there?”
“It’s skin on the outside, and on the inside those are your testicles.”
“Okay. But what happens if I… SQUISH THEM?”
“Um. Well. They are very delicate and if you hit, yank, smash, or SQUISH them, it will probably hurt very bad. So be careful with them, okay?”
>pause. pensive look.<
“Okay, Mommy.”
>sits back down in bath. more pensive look<
“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“Actually? It feels very nice when I squish my testicles with my fingers. I like that. I like it very much.”
“Braden?”
“Yes, Mommy?”
“I’m happy for you. I’m going to leave the room now.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
>quiet moment<
From the bathroom:
“MY TESTICLES LOOK LIKE ALMONDS!”
“MOMMY? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?”
23 comments
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The Awesome
the planet of janet
ok. really. you can’t do this to me while i’m drinking diet coke.
this, my friend, is a FAR CRY from baby toes.
just sayin’
Twitter: planetofjanet
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Here is my apology to you: http://goo.gl/0rXzM
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Andrew
Kids are hilarious, my wife and I have also taken the tact that you learn the actual names for those things. My oldest 3.5 yrs has come to ask me terrible questions like ” Daddy why is it hard” at which point I put his underwear on to his response of ” It is too big, it’s bigger than yours” Who knew that phallic competition and shaming was innate.
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
SNORT!
Twitter: LotusCarroll
David LaSpina
Hahahaha
Twitter: dbooster
lceel
Ha, ha, ha. Wait until the Nocturnal Emissions start.
Twitter: lceel
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
I seriously considered deleting your comment as part of a strategy to pretend that I don’t know that will ever happen.
Joking, of course.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Lori Zambito
Funny! My testicles look like almonds. I agree about the correct terminology too. We say penis, vagina, etc.
Al_Pal
Oh Em Gee! Too funny.
Twitter: Al_Pal
Pgoodness
Bwahahaha!!! Love that kid!!!
Twitter: Pgoodness
Tara R.
Your kid is awesome. The questions will just keep coming.
Twitter: Tara_R
Jessi
Ah boys! I recently got the question, yelled from the bathroom first thing in the morning, “Mom! I can’t pee pee cause my penis is sticking up!! What do I do?”
To which I answered “Daddy!! Your son needs your help!”
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Oh, yeah. The penis talk comes at you early and often and in so many different ways. One of my favorite things has been when Braden tells us “Something is WRONG. My penis is on BACKWARDS.” Hahahaha. Ahhh. Lovely.
Here’s a funny FB status of mine from a recent similar episode: http://www.facebook.com/lotuscarroll/posts/10150475996476803
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Keely
We’re still working on potty training our Finn so I sit with him while he’s on the toilet and give him tips. Recently: “Point your penis down, into the bowl.” So he gives me this mischievous look and says “It goes any way I want.” The next thing I know, he’s making laser “pew!” noises and pointing it at me and all around the room (not peeing, thank goodness). He laughed and laughed while I tried to be serious (and failed).
Twitter: Keely
Brigid
Bwahahahaha. Loved this! One of my favorite memories was seeing my 5YO daughter’s face when she first saw her 3YO brother with an erection. Priceless.
Roberto G.
That was hilarious !
Unfortunately I was drinking coffee, so now I need a new keyboard.
Mark Esguerra
Such an awesome/funny story. I’m glad he likes it. he he. ;-P
Twitter: TheMarke
Averagemissy
I remember when my now four year old asked me what his were.
“Mom, what are these?”
Me yelling into our bedroom: “Dad, what are we going to call those?”
Dad yelling back: “Those are your balls, son.”
“Oh.”
I’ll never forget it.
Debbie
Thank you SO much for that Lotus – I have a 5 yr old boy who I’m sure will be presenting me with a similar situation very soon indeed.
I too employ and honest and upfront approach to our bodies. He asks – I show or tell, simple.
We all walk around naked in the house, we shower and bathe together when needed, we are just relaxed.
Totally different from my childhood household, images of my mother scuttling from the bathroom to her bedroom swathed head to toe in towels.
Rachael
Isn’t having a little boy just DE-lightful!? My son asked what they were FOR when he finally found them. I sort of tried to explain, but he lost interest after a couple of words.
Twitter: rachael1013
Anne
Very cute! What a lovely photo too xx
Jamie
This actually made me laugh out loud. I am one of “those” moms who uses the word, “pee-pee,” because somehow the thought of saying “penis” scares the crap out of me. Well, saying it to my son. Because I can only imagine that he will go to preschool and continuously share this word with anyone, and everyone. Wonderful blog, wonderful post!
Cam
LOL conversations i’m looking forward to with my son especially since i’ve never had brothers and know nothing about the male anatomy …