I wonder about things… a lot.

I think that this is a great idea, really. As long as people who call you douchbags stay under control I think it will be a kick in the big-girl pants.

Loralees last blog post..Things Loralee needs to have tattooed on her forehead

I want to touch your bewbs.

I won’t talk about sex or my in-laws on mah blawg b/c my husband reads it, and his feelings would get hurt on my take on some things.

And believe me, the world is lacking some funny shit because of me keeping my mouth shut.

Dawns last blog post..To Whom it May Concern

Loralee,

And I like it when there are things in my big-girl pants!

What did I just say? Whoa.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I have never been afraid to say anything on someone else’s blog. I have been afraid to say something like “Mom, you’re pissing me off” on mine because i should really grow a pair (or rather put on my big girl panties) and tell her that myself. i am just one of those people who calls it like it is. I hope that other people do the same, feel free to contribute when they honestly feel like it, and don’t when they don’t have the need. Sort of a modified “if you don’t have anything nice to say” policy.

Mrs. Tantrums last blog post..Happy Monday

Dawn,

Have at it!

I have to admit that I think twice sometimes about posting certain things because I know that my mother-in-law reads this sometimes. But I do have to say that I’ve posted many a thing, thinking… “Well, at least she’ll get to know me better?” Heh.

There are also things about myself, things that really affect me and cause issues for me, that I want to write about here, but I don’t, because they would reveal specific things about John that he would not appreciate me revealing. And I like staying married, and stuff.

It’s hard to have a blog where “you can write whatever you want” but still, to some degree, not feel like you can write whatever you want, isn’t it?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I don’t talk about my DH’s business or his clients, since people do read my blog (imagine that, I forget that I’m not talking to nobody) and my in-laws or his biz partners will randomly refer to something in my blogs or eZine and I remember that oh, yes, I did say that to the world.

Once I said something about the CEO of his client (you would know the name so I cannot tell you or I’ll have to kill you) on my radio show and DH freaked out b/c he was afraid it might get back to the CEO. I was like, I have free speech!! But then I realized that yes, I have free speech, but I also have to deal w/ the ramifications.

Right now we are planning some big stuff but cannot tell everyone b/c it may get back to my DH’s biz partners. But shush, don’t tell them.

~ Elizabeth

You know, I have a big thing with Things That Go In A Comment Box, and Things That Don’t. Like the other day, and the phone. Not a COMMENT BOX conversation. I don’t mean that in a You Offended Me way, more of a sensitive subject away. If the proverbial you offends me, I realize that there are 50 million blogs to chose from, and I click through. You, however, have never come even close to offending me on your blog.

Key word: YOUR blog. Say what you want. I chose to read here, you didn’t require me to.

Mr Ladys last blog post..I Really Think I May Have Actually Left My Heart In San Francisco

On other people’s blogs? Yes, but nothing major. Sometimes I want to call them out for being such a turd to me for no reason, but I refrain. There are two bloggers I can think of. One always gets confrontational with me even if what I’ve said is completely benign. The other repeatedly ignores me even when I ask her a direct question. This would be fine if she never responded to anybody’s comments, but she responds to everyone else. Instead of bringing it up, I have simply removed them from my feed reader. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t REQUIRE responses to my comments in order for me to continue to visit, but if a blog author engages with everybody EXCEPT me, well then, I take issue with that.

On my own blog there are plenty of things I would like to write about that I haven’t (though I think you were talking about comments more than what goes on on our own blogs), but I recently did write about something major (at least to me) and I’m glad that I did. But typically, worries about who in my real life is going to find my blog are what keeps me from writing about something.

Natalies last blog post..A Little Fluff

Mrs. Tantrum,

Very well said, and much agreed!

And OMG I am right with you on the “mommy issue.” That’s actually another place where I am somewhat guarded, because ohhhh, have I wanted to tell you people some stories. Heh.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

There are a ton of things that I don’t put in my blog because they are about my family and they are the majority of my readers.

Here’s a hint, my daughter got married and didn’t tell me TWICE!

Adriennes last blog post..I interrupt your previously scheduled Saga

I really don’t have anything to add other than to say that I really hope this idea works out the way you intended. It sounds like a great way to start awesome adult discussions. Good luck!

As a general rule, if I can’t post anything nice, I don’t post anything.
I would always handle an important concern privately in email rather than call the blog owner a vulgar name in a comment, but that’s just me.

missy wigginss last blog post..I’m Still Learning.
Twitter: molassa

Crap, I forgot to add the first part of your question..

There are some things that seem taboo in the blogging world. I want to ask sometimes, but it very well may be too rude.

Bloggers are very hesitant to discuss actual traffic numbers and stats, how people get the opportunities that they do (Like product review, trips and getting into things like Altop).

I think that some bloggers don’t realize how much bloggers have to work to promote themselves. How much they have to ASK for things and opportunities. Sure, some do have many opportunities fall in their laps but I think a lot of bloggers are thinking they suck because Guy Kawasaki didn’t write them to invite them to Altop (For the record,and as I stated on my blog, I ASKED for review and admission.)

Anyway…It’s really the only thing I can think of right now besides bringing up conservative politics and religon that I don’t peep up about on blogs. I feel it may be too rude? I don’t know.

Loralees last blog post..Things Loralee needs to have tattooed on her forehead

Lets see… yes, I have wanted to say something on a blog and haven’t and the reason was because I just didn’t know how to type out what I was thinking without it sounding offensive or stupid or nonsensical etc.

But no, it hasn’t happened here. I’ve been pretty up front with my comments I think. Perhaps that is because I think my brain may work in similar ways to yours. Oh… wait, I didn’t say everything I wanted to say sometimes when you were hurting because I felt like writing a novel in your comments is lame and you probably didn’t need one more email. So I left the basic points

I can’t talk about all sorts of things on my blog… my church and the stuff that drives me CRAZY about them (because some of them read it faithfully in order to find things to get mad at me about… jerks) and how ridiculous I find it that I, the daughter of a pot smoking hippy, is a pastor’s wife. I can’t talk about my frustrations with my husband and my mother and my in-laws because they all read it. And my tendency would be to blurt stuff out and vent and neither of them are capable of understanding the way my brain works… just because I feel something NOW does not mean I will feel that way forever.

I actually feel quite censored on my blog these days. I have considered starting an anonymous blog that they can’t find but I just don’t think it would work!

I loves a good rant and I hate it when they turn into unnecessary drama. I want to believe that I can disagree with someone and still be their friend and respect the fact that they too are loved by God.

There I go writing a novel again

Tara Rs last blog post..Bloggy Carnival Giveaway #2!

Elizabeth,

Isn’t funny how the one thing we “can’t” talk about is always just screaming to fly past our lips and out of our mouths? (Or, uh fingers?)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Mr. Lady,

Is it bad that I came away from your comment with lots of silly thoughts about “what does and does not go in a box?” Heh.

I <3 you for calling me. I swear, soon, I will tell you to do that, and I will answer. I’m going to MAKE TIME to do that! :-)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I think Loralee nailed it when she talked about the kinds of things that seem verboten to ask about on other people’s blogs.

As for my own blog, I absolutely, positively censor myself. I would tell tale upon tale about my family if they didn’t read my blog, and since my blog functions partially as therapy for me, it’s really hard not to talk about those things. I’ve often wished for a reciprocal agreement for guest posting with a fellow blogger who finds him/herself in a similar situation.

The one time I ventured out and wrote about the trying relationship I have with my mom (just a couple months ago), I got a TON of supportive, very thoughtful comments, but I also got two scathing emails that seared my soul and made me contemplate turning my blog private. Instead, I simply opted to steer clear of the topic again. I wonder sometimes how the big bloggers deal with the criticism, because it can be very, very ugly.

I like this idea you’ve got! Keep it going!

Deb (Missives From Suburbia)s last blog post..Hair of the Dog

Natalie,

I can totally understand and respect that (about expecting a response). I have to admit that I am guilty of answering some people’s emails and comments, but not others. Not on a consisten basis (like, not ignoring a certain person repeatedly) but when I’m crunched for time (lol, aka always) I tend to pick and choose.

I think that really sucks b/c I feel that everyone deserves an answer. I do try to spread it around so that hopefully, eventually I’ll get to everyone. Because, you know, I actually love the things people say to me here. I get so much to think about, and suggestions to use in life that I never would have come up with on my own.

Also, I think that those posts when you write about something major, and are even a little bit nervous about hitting “publish,” usually turn out to be the most therapuetic, and often the best received posts, as well. Because it was really a piece of you! And people appreciate and identify with that.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Adrienne,

Rough when you’d love to get something about your family off your back but they would get offended by reading it, isn’t it? It kind of makes me sad that we can’t be totally honest with the people we should be able to do that most with!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Dani,

It’s working out in quite a lovely manner, in my opinion, so far. Just hope I can keep up!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Missy Wiggins,

But do you ever hold something back that you really want to say that isn’t “not nice” but just b/c you were afraid how it would be received?

And, whatever might you be referring to in that last part? Hehehe.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

The only way I’ve ever had that happen on someone else’s blog was sometimes a post about sensitive subjects shows up (ie a kid that was lost or died) and I want to know more, but feel like I can’t ask.

It’s never happened to me here. For some reason I have always felt like we are old buddies. I don’t know why, maybe it’s just the way you are.

I do hold myself back on my blog. I have family situations that I really would like to write about, but I don’t have a way to put a password on a post and I can’t risk other family members finding out the whole truth since it’s in no way my place to tell them. Other than that, I pretty much write about whatever I want.
Twitter: rachael1013

Loralee,

I think the hesitance in discussing numbers is sometimes also because of the fear that people will take it as bragging, know what I mean? I have whined before about being sad that I lost 60 subscribers in one day (because DUDE that STINGS!) and got some responses that were kind of like, “You have a gazillion readers so STFU.” Like… you can’t care about that stuff anymore. So there’s that.

On the products thing and such, I really do think there should be more sharing of knowledge about that – both to help everyone get a leg up, so to speak, and to break the myths that it’s easy. It takes an assload of work to achieve any of that stuff and lots of time.

For the record, I also wrote to Guy and asked him to include me @ Alltop! You have to be willing to stick your neck out there, and if someone says “No.” what did you lose? Nothing! And you stand to gain. So go for it, right?

On the politics and religion thing, I think it’s harder for lots of people b/c these are very personal things and others tend to freak out if you don’t think the way they do. So it’s a real leap to talk about those things, because you are gambling with getting a backlash you don’t deserve, and who wants that? I really wish it were not that way.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I am pretty new to this community, and sometimes it does feel like my first day at school in a new city. No one knows me except by what I type, and we all know sometimes tone is totally misinterpreted. So sometimes I do find myself with most of a comment typed, and then I read it, and think, hmmmm, that may not come off right, so I just clear it out. I really want to be liked, and I want to be read. I hate that I even care, to be honest, but the more I enjoy other people’s blogs, the more I want people to enjoy mine, ya know?

But I have never, for one second, felt that squirmy scrutiny from you. I believe you are totally sincere, totally natural and thoughtful and so not judgemental that I haven’t ever felt that anxiety over how I present myself here. And I appreciate it very much.

As far as my own blog, I have posted about pretty personal things, like a sexual assault that I seriously never spoke about in detail before, and I was able to talk about it offline with a good friend of mine a few weeks ago. But there are things that I don’t post about, or I think I should say I haven’t yet. I really think that I will post about whatever I want as I get more settled in my own space, because I just need to. Only a handful of people I know in real life even know about this blog, and only two know the title. I’m sure I will be outed eventually..I had a much worse outing at work and I survived, so it’s something I think I can face.

Angel Smiths last blog post..Choke it down, at all costs.

Tara,

Loved your “novel!” Was it therapeutic at all for you?

I know what you mean about not being able to type out exactly what you want to say without it getting.. weird. There have been times when my lack of filter led me to, frankly, being an asshole on other people’s websites, and I really do regret that. Mostly, now, I tell myself that in the grand scheme of things, if I can’t figure out how to say it, maybe it shouldn’t be said. And sometimes I come back later and try again. Or send an email.

I think you definitely might want to start a sideblog or something. Your blog really should be a comfortable place for you, even if you stop yourself from writing about certain things. But if you feel overly censored there, make a place for yourself where you dont! (Says I)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

First off as far as your blog goes, you’re alternatingly hilarious and touching, but never offensive. As far as other people’s blogs, I have walked away from commenting often; sometimes because I think they’ll go “Who the h*** is that?” sometimes because I am feeling a bit snubbed, as Natalie said, and sometimes because I don’t want to get involved in a drama. But I also read yours, and other very honest blogs, sometimes and think, “there is nothing I can write that can soothe that hurt, or sound in any way meaningful, coming from a total stranger.”
In my own blog, the hardest thing not to write about are my experiences as a foster parent (confidentiality rules forbid it), when those experiences are the most dramatic, most funny, and most enormous parts of my life. My blog would be awesome if I could just tell everyone about the character who decided peeing down our heater vent would be the right answer!!!! (oops, I let one slip)

Alicias last blog post..Finally!

Can I jump in and hijack for a moment? Only because I really want to respond to Rachael as a mother who has a deceased child?

As long as your question is in no way accusatory (Why didn’t you just…) or much too personal (What did he look like dead) it is fine.

ASK.

Parents of dead children often NEED to talk about it and people often shy away. Not out of snubbing but hesitancy to make it worse.

Every blogger that I know who has had a child does not mind talking about it. If they are willing to blog about it they are 99% of the time willing to talk more extensively about it.

If they feel they just “Can’t go there” they are usually very kind about refusal because we are people too and know how hard it can be to ask a question regarding that topic.

Loralees last blog post..Things Loralee needs to have tattooed on her forehead

Deb,

It is so rough to feel censored in your own space! I wish it were not like that, but I also have some things I won’t talk about (you can see in previous responses I’ve posted).

I actually like your reciprocal idea… but I am wondering if it would be cool to take that a step further. What if a bunch of us collaborated (in private) on a entirely separate blog? We could have pseudonyms instead of using our real names. I would totally be up for doing this. In essence, no one would really know who’s posting the posts, but they would be good, quality, real, piece of your heart posts that people wanted to get out, but couldn’t do on their own blog, under their own name.

I wonder how many people would be interested in contributing to a blog like that if I set it up?

We could even screen comments and email so that nothing ugly ever reaches the author, so it’s 100% just a release, no ugly feelings.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Oh hell yes. I would *love, love, love* to participate in something like that.

Angel Smiths last blog post..Choke it down, at all costs.

Loralee, thank you for the advice! I really appreciate it.

Lotus, I think that a lot of people would participate in that kind of release/discussion blog. I would!

Rachaels last blog post..An Exciting Blog-Day
Twitter: rachael1013

Rachael,

I know what you mean, it seems like you don’t know how to phrase the inquiry right, or whether it is the wrong thing to say/ask, especially if you have not experienced anything like what they are going through.

In the spirit of total honesty, some of the comments I got on posts about my miscarriage actually hurt me a little, but no one was intentionally nasty, so I was always more buoyed by knowing that they were trying to be helpful. And many comments helped me to heal in a way when I read it that I might now have on my own. Sometimes you have to take the chance just to connect with another person on that level, choose your words as best you can, and hope that they know you meant well, no matter what.

As for the stuff on your own blog, do you think you’d be interested in contributing to a website like the one I mentioned in my comment to Tara? We may actually get something off the ground if enough people are into it.

<3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Angel,

That misinterpreted tone thing gets me so often! It’s why I obsessively overuse smilies. I’m so afraid someone will take me the wrong way! (So instead, I just litter my prose with annoying emoticons, LOL)

And yes, I think we can all totally identify with the feeling of wanting to say how you feel, but also struggling with wanting to say things that will not make people dislike you. Such a human human thing! And yet it binds us! Ack!

It sounds like your personal blog atmosphere is very healthy. Good for you! The more you let yourself be real, I’ve found, the better you will feel in life, in general.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I started doing this on my blog a few weekends ago, for the same reason! Because I DO care what my readers have to say, and the interaction that’s come about — not just between them and me, but between readers themselves — is awesome. Now the weekend is my favorite part of the blog week.

There are things I don’t say to people on their blogs because I wouldn’t say them in real life. Things like “Oh, for the love of all that is HOLY stop blabbering about your cat” or “The last thing I want to see is a picture of your nasty chili with a recipe”. Those things aside, I don’t feel like I am stifled when I comment.

I operate on an if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all kind of vibe most of the time.

Now, there are times when the snark in me comes out in full force. But honestly that ONLY happens with certain friends.

I’m not answering your questions very well. Hmmm. How’s this: I am a wuss. I hate confrontation and I like happy comments. So I give them. I don’t feel like that’s hindering me or my blogging in any way. Its just me. I think my posts reflect that as well. And I am totally okay with that.

Cecilys last blog post..Going Around In Circles and My Examples

Once in a while I’ve wanted to go give advice and held back for fear of coming off as condescending or high and mighty rather than helpful. Sometimes it’s a fine line between Assvice and Advice, ya know? And sometimes that line depends on how well you “know” the blogger.
I’ve never regretted it more than a few moments. The beauty of blogs is that if you wake up the next morning still wanting to make that comment you can go back and leave it. It’s never too late.

As for my own blog? Well, I draw the line at discussing sex, but only because it would KILL me if my mother or mother in law tried to give me advice or feedback. EWWW.

Jessica (aka Rose from It’s my life…)s last blog post..Does the world implode when social networking meets reality TV?

Alicia,

I totally get the things you’re saying. I do want you to know, though, personally, if you have something you wanted to say, but you doubted it would help me? Say it anyway, please. Because you could be, without realizing it, saying the one thing that lifts me up more than anything else that day. OR it could be the thing that lifts up someone else who reads the comment, who you don’t even know needed to see your words. That’s what I love about reader comments. I feel like the thing you guys say here help OTHER people who come across this later! That makes me feel SO proud of having gotten this far and being able to post things that matter to other people.

Gah, I’m crying. Emotional much!?

PS: I’m totally considering now launching a new blog – re: my comment to Tara. Check it out.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Loralee,

BY ALL MEANS! That is EXACTLY the type of thing I would love to see in comments! I want you guys to respond to one another!

How beautiful is this?

Me? I ‘m all emotional in a really good way right now.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

mommypie,

EEEeeek! I’m a total asspants?! I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Outed as not having read! Boooo!

Do you think we can both continue this without stepping on one another’s toes? Because, I have to be honest with you, I am REALLY enjoying it.

Great minds!?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Cecily,

I think the important thing is that you don’t feel like you’re holding back a comment that you really wanted to give. (If I understood you correctly.)

But OMG, are you making fun of the Pork & Beans picture and recipe I posted on my other blog!? *cries*

[Totally just kidding, btw. Though I really DID do that. Heheh.]
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Jessica,

Oh, I totally know that fine line! I’ve given PLENTY of Assvice, because I have a very poor filter. I’ve only just started recently realizing that when I’m reading a blog post, it is not DISHONEST to keep what I’m thinking to myself. I can do that and the universe will still be OK. I tell myself that when I feel a serious violent rant coming on (if I can stop it in time). But I’m still learning and growing, even into my 30s!

Good point about being able to go back later. Taking some time to let things air out in your head is always a good thing.

What, you don’t want to get the best foreplay tips from your momma?

Ewwwwww…..
Twitter: LotusCarroll

SO not asspants — I don’t have ownership on the deal, crazy woman!

I know how you feel — it’s been SO cool seeing the community building that goes on in real time.

Great minds, definitely.

mommypies last blog post..Stupid choices and dumb luck.

Ha, Jessica, you reminded me of something…

The other day I was talking with a friend I’ve had since I was 14 or so that I work with now, and she was venting, and I was encouraging her, and all the sudden I stopped and flat out asked her if I was pushing advice on her. She said no, she wanted my feedback, and I just asked her to please tell me if I get too know-it-all-like. I just want to help, and I am a problem-solver. But I have this social anxiety that makes me doubt myself all the time, so I don’t know if those little flashes of “Shut the fuck up, woman!” that race through my head are valid or just a manifestation of my anxiety.

Thankfully I have friends like her who have known me since before I even knew who I was, ha, and we know each other weel enough to call each other bitches and know it’s a term of endearment, so my assvice isn’t as unwelcome.

Sometimes I want to put a swear word in a comment (but VERY rarely) and I don’t usually feel comfortable doing that, especially if I don’t know the blogger very well. But sometimes I really feel like an “Oh Sh*T” is in order, you know? And I am being totally serious here. : )

And sometimes I just think what I typed came out a little wrong and could be better expressed in person, like maybe the above even! HA!

I like the idea for your new “I wonder” series. It’s already interesting…

Elaines last blog post..It’s Like Going to the Spa… for my Teeth

The only comments I feel like I have to hold back are the ornery snarky ones that don’t help anyone and would (in the end) just make every one feel crummy. The ones we all have from time to time (me more than others lately) but since we are supposed to act like adults, we don’t say. Other than that, I feel like I say what I want to.

Sorry I came out all jumbled. Just got back from the gym and I think the elliptical scrambled my brain.

And no, I was NOT referring to your pork and beans. I was actually referring to a specific post from a friend from long ago. It was NASTY. But I didn’t tell her. Really, what’s the point?

Cecilys last blog post..Going Around In Circles and My Examples

Angel,

I am THE SAME WAY! Sometimes I just want to shove a sock in my mouth.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I think the idea is awesome. And cheaper than therapy, LOL!

Alicias last blog post..Finally!

Elaine,

TOTALLY get that. My poor filter sometimes even has me dropping F BOMBS on other people’s sites. I’m sure I have been well appreciated! (NOT!)

Just FYI, the only thing I don’t want in my comments is hate speech or ridicule. Feel free to Shit It Up!

Ok, that just sounded so wrong….
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Cecily,

I should have known, because my Pork & Beans ARE AWESOME.

I agree though, really no point in spreading negativity.

But I also have to admit that I have left snarky/ugly comments. Still learning & growing!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

There is so much that I don’t say on my blog–my parents and in-laws read it, and I am pretty sure that I don’t want them to know most of what is going on in my head. I am guilty of passive aggressive slips sometimes, where I will write about something that annoys me in general, only I really mean for it to be about something oh-so specific that someone has done. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but usually not.

I think your idea about an anonymous blog is fantastic! That would be such a neat way to get honest feedback without worrying about all the negativity out there.

I’ve never really felt free to comment openly on other blogs, mostly because I assume that they won’t be read if there are many other comments or that I don’t quite fit in with that particular blogger crowd.

Elizabeths last blog post..Home from the hospital

Elizabeth,

I have a pasive aggressive flair. I am mostly quite open, but I have serious issues with things that I DO feel forced to hold back on. I think my really open side pushes hard and then the only thing I can do is eeeek it out ina P/A way. Does that make sense? I am trying REALLY hard to grow out of that and develop better coping tools for those situations.

You know, the thing you mentioned in the last part, about feeling hesitant to comment b/c your comments wouldn’t be read or there are too many other comments is a common feeling, I think. I’ve seen lots of other bloggers/readrs say that before, and I would like to respond to that, but I hope neither you, nor anyone else takes this to be pompous on my part:

It really is true that no matter how many comments someone has, yours still means something. I think there’s something to be said for the possibility that you are unique and may have something to offer that none of the others did, to the writer or even to someone else reading comments. Does that make sense? I can tell you personally that every single comment here gets read, even if it’s a couple days late or something, and every one of them means a lot to me. And I’ve seen other writers say the very same thing. So don’t let that hold you back! You might find you build a lovely relationship with someone.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I almost always say what I want on my own blog and the occasional times I don’t it’s because I know I’m angry and I’ll feel better if I just let it go. I rarely ever leave an angry comment on a blog for the same reason. I can be critival but that’s another story.

will betheboy,

That is a really healthy way to go about things. I’ve found if I’m writing an “angry” post, when I edit later, I feel differently. I can scrap it then, or just revise. It’s a good thing I’m an obsessive editer!

That being said, I have to admit that I’m prone to really angry venon and rants at times. It’s part of what we like to call, “My Mental Health Issues” around here.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

VDog was here. Just sayin’.

Love you. Keep up the good work!

VDogs last blog post..Weekly Winners ~ Last Week of July
Twitter: VDog

VDog,

Thanks, babe!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

As far as not saying something I wanted to on someone else’s blog? There’s been tons of times. Mostly related. But like Mr Lady said, you just click through to the next one. Kinda like ‘Mute’ on plurk.

As far as ever feeling it here? Nope.

I know there’s a subject or two that you don’t talk about that I would love to really converse with you about, but I figure, when, if there’s a time for that, it’ll be then – not in your comments.

Zoeyjanes last blog post..The story of how I got a free laptop.

Hmmm let’s see…
I don’t comment on one blog anymore b/c I once left what was suppose to be a joke and she took it as a personal attack on her hubby. Plus she used to be in my playgroup and no longer is so it feels weird leaving comments for someone I had to “kick out” as an organizer.

Lately I haven’t left comments on blogs that I used to respond to regularly for the main reason that I am a wallflower. When I first started blogging and commenting, the places I commented at were still reasonably small (here included) and now they are gianormous. Sometimes I just don’t want to be the 60th ditto. so I only comment if I have something truely original to say. And yes I read all the other comments to make sure I’m not repeating someone.

As for my own blog, I don’t write about my husband because my mom reads and right now I don’t have anything positive to say and she doesn’t know that yet.

There is a blogger that offers an anonymous blog trade every so often. You sign up and then she assigns someone to post on your blog and you post on someone else’s annonymously. (only the person in charge and the person who’s blog you are posting on know who you are.) If there are over 30 participants, the original blog owner posts a list of participants. Here is a better explaination http://andyouknow.wordpress.com/2008/02/04/blog-share-info/

Kara – down to earth mommys last blog post..An Auction Ebay won’t allow

Zoeyjane,

If there’s anything you really want to talk about, but you think it’s not cool for comments, I hope you know you can e-mail me. If it really is something I don’t want to talk about, I’ll politely tell you so, and have no ill will towards you for asking. Really. So… you know… go for it. <3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Kara,

It makes sense to only comment if you have something to add to a conversation. I applaud you for reading through comments. I have to admit that I do not always do that in my rushrush attitude!

There are things I won’t say about my husband here, either, for similar reasons, sometimes.

The Blog Share was not something I knew existed, and is a cool idea. I think there is still something appealing about having it run as a whole separate blog. That way I would be the ONLY one who ever knew who was writing. I would moderate the website and anyone who wanted to write would be signed up as an author and could write themselves and submit. I think it might actually be an easier way to go? And all the posts would be in one place. I’m really liking that idea. I’m hoping to get it set up this next month. Just need to flesh it out.

Would you be interested in writing… maybe about husband issues, for example?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

ummm yeah sure….to all of the above

Kara – down to earth mommys last blog post..An Auction Ebay won’t allow

I sometimes hold back in my comments
#1 because I don’t want to offend either the blogger or other commenters
#2 I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing if there are other issues the blogger has that led to the post but that I don’t know about.
#3 if I get to a comments section and all the comments are “yeah yeah”, “you go girl”, and other “agree with you”, type stuff and I DON’T agree with the bloggers post or the commenters, I just click away rather than upset someone’s apple cart.

for me, the times when i want to say something and don’t are usually when someone is going through some kind of personal tragedy. if it’s someone i’ve been reading for a long time, someone who knows who i am, who reads me and comments and on whose blog i regularly comment – then yeah, i say what i want to share in the hopes that it will make a difference. but when it’s someone i feel doesn’t know me, i’m always second-guessing. “she doesn’t know me,” “she doen’t want to hear from some random stranger,” “he’ll just wonder why the heck i’m commenting,” etc. i always feel like it just won’t make a difference, or – even more frightening – it’ll make the person feel worse.

i do regret it, but i don’t know how to get better about it. i mean, what it people really DON’T want to hear from some random nobody?

Laras last blog post..Just More Ways to Introduce Myself, Really

You should know that I would say if you had pissed me off.

You’re such a douche.

But no, really, this is a great idea.
And to answer your question(s):
Yes, there are things I want to talk about in my blog sometimes but can’t because my parents, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend’s sister and mom read my blog. I ALWAYS wish I was cool enough to be invited for guest posts because that’s the only place I’m free to write about stuff that those closest to me (as far as daily interaction goes) don’t need to read. If you ever need a guest poster, really, I always need a venue.

Also, I used to only comment if I was leaving positive feedback but yesterday I had the balls to post on a blog in which I strongly disagreed with the author. I left a well thought out, non aggressive but passionate comment against what the blogger had said. She later removed it and one of her readers called me names and told me I was never a true American. I sobbed for almost a half hour and now I’m not very anxious to comment outside of my regular blogging community.

I don’t blog about my parents at all. They read my blog all the time. There are things that I COULD write, believe me.

And on the same hand, I don’t write about my mother-in-law, even though she’s unintentionally hilarious.

I don’t write about some negative things that have happened in my marriage, althought that’s just a respect thing.

I try not to ever write things that might embarrass or hurt my children.

I don’t write about politics because a) mine are all over the place and b) it would alienate people unneccessarily. I do write about my faith on rare occassion.

And I never write about sex. Writing about sex makes me feel yucky.

Becks last blog post..WAITWAITWAIT!

Love your post….you make me laugh!

Lets see….I NEVER comment on the topic of politics….and I RARELY comment on the topic of religion. Mainly because I’m not educated enough on the topic of politics to make a coherent argument or statement and religion is just to touchy of a subject for most people.

And I have to sensor what I write about the in-laws which REALLY sucks because I’ve got some good shit….

Tammys last blog post..Only FIVE summer weekends left!!!

Great thoughts here! I have NEVER, ever felt like I couldn’t comment here. You are probably one of the most welcoming and ‘anything goes’ bloggers out there, and you have treated me, as a new blogger, in a friendly and welcoming manner. So then I’m all like “Wow, Lotus likes ME?!” like I’m in the Cool Kid’s Club or something! LOL

I do censor what I say in my blog to an extent. I try not to tell other’s stories that may not want them told. I try not to say things that I wouldn’t want others to hear. I’m a pretty open person in real life, so this doesn’t censor much! LOL

I love the idea of an anonymous type blog thingy, too!

Christis last blog post..And this little piggy ran weee-wee-wee……

Sometimes, just sometimes, mind you, I say things that are supportive when deep inside what I really want to say is “Buck up and get over it” or “Stop your whining it’s long past time to move on”. Not here, though. Not yet. I want to tell people that life is too fucking short to waste time being lost in ennui and depression. But I can’t do that to people – because the Internet removes a critical factor of communication between people – personal contact. They cannot here my voice – and hear the care there, they cannot see my face – and understand the concern there – they cannot feel my touch and feel the love there. They cannot look me in the eye – and see the truth there.

I know that at times, professional help and medications are required to manage those tough times that people go through. But other times just need a strong pull up of the girly pants and a determined set of chin.

The trick is to know the difference – and it’s hard to know that without that personal contact and all of the stuff that brings to the issue.
Twitter: lceel

You see, this is why I love you.

You ARE honest and REAL and HUMAN and I love that about you.

We all wonder some crazy shit once in a while..(Me more often than humanly possible…) And blogging helps me to see that I am not alone in many aspect of my wonderings.

You are one of the many bloggers that I have ‘met’ who help me to see that we are all in it together and we all have some wonderings…that we feel may be ‘abnormal’ but are really within the realm of sanity.

So thank you for that sister.

The Laundress ~JJ!s last blog post..How we fell in love….part one. Our First Trip.

Hey, I just realized your site shows up on Firefox again. I think it was my old screen resolution that was creating a problem.

I tend to speak before I think on blogs, and recently I’ve made a few comment blunders. Therefore, I like to keep it to a bare minimum when I DO comment because I’m afraid of making the same mistake. I don’t mind making myself look like an ass (I should be paid for it, I’m that good), but I very much dislike to distress the blog owner. Especially if the topic is a blog war and I think the particular blog I’m reading is wrong.

Sues last blog post..Music To Annoy the Masses

I censor my own blog for PC reasons. Because I am totally not PC and can say some stupid things. Like last night, I said in real life, that it sucked that my friend’s dad died on the night we were supposed to go to Fogo de Chao – all you can eat meat – omg – it is orgasmic-ly good – that he had bad timing, was rude and really should have rescheduled. But see, I hide things like that here. But it is funny. In a sick way. Yet, people don’t always see that smirk on my face when it is said/read.

I have never felt like I couldn’t say something here in the comments. I just never do because holy cow, alot of people comment, so I don’t chime in. Kinda like Dooce or Pioneer Woman. You are up there in my mind.

Or it could be just that I am such a lazy douche.

Fiannas last blog post..Girl Schmirl or The Pugilist (Because I Really Wanted to Use That Word Somewhere)

Do I ever not write/post something? No. But there are posts I password-protect, and only give out the password to select people (or to no one at all)… And that’s how I protect my cathartic release of verbal diarrhea …

Do I sometimes come up with posts/rants when I am away from a computer and have them all mentally composed and ready to go, only to forget them when I can actually write them down? Yes. Yes, I do. So those posts get lost in the shuffle, but only because of my sieve-like brain…

As for commenting here – I’m a-OK and totally comfortable with it. Except I’m one of those people who is often too busy to leave any kind of meaningful comment, and so just says “beautiful” or “me too” or what-have-you, which I hate to do (because everyone deserves better comments, but especially you!) but know will continue simply due to time pressure…

I see so many comments from people who say they do not post things on their own blogs for fear of upsetting family, and that’s all well and good if you really have no problem constantly censoring yourself. But it sure can lead to lots of frustration! For me, my blog is my outlet for all things often unpleasant in life and that includes my husband, my kids, and quite often my mother. My family does not read or know anything about how to get to my blog. For the very reason that I figure it keeps me alive one more day… they don’t read something that makes them want to slam a pillow over my face during the night and then sit on it. I *do* also keep a family blog in which I sometimes copy a post over if it’s something I don’t mine them reading, and when I do that, I make sure and remove any identifying info so they can’t use it and search for my *real* blog. I feel it’s MY blog, I can write what I want and if you don’t like it, BITE ME. That being said, you have ti live with your family and put up with them so it’s just easier to keep the peace by not letting them read everything you write. As far as keeping the peace with other bloggers? If you don’t like what I wirte, that’s fine. I had someone take exception to something I wrote about my hubby and she very rudely posted about it on her blog. BAD form.. very bad. I don’t care how much you don’t agree with what someone says, there are ways to disagree that are respectful and constructive and not hurtful. At that point I had been keeping my blog for over two years… her comments on her blog upset me so badly I deleted everything and then ended up starting over. I still rant and rage about my family some times. Like I said, it keeps me sane. My blog friends take it for what it is… my own form of therapy. As for if I disagree with others blogs? Sometimes I do. And depending on what it is, I might or might not comment about it but I always make sure it’s respectful. Unless it’s politics… I just stay the hell out of THOSE discussions!

Flutterbys last blog post..Blog Spam and Sour Grapes

I try to stick with happy supportive comments on blogs, and just don’t say anything if I can’t manage that. Sometimes I refrain from commenting if I can’t think how to phrase myself to convey my tone & feelings correctly. Comments I think are funny have been taken wrong a couple of times & I don’t want to risk it.
I don’t comment on politics or religion because as a Libertarian Pagan I belong to the lunatic fringe of both topics & apart from providing occasional factual information, I keep my mouth shut. Even admitting I am a Libertarian Pagan is a rare occurrence.
I don’t talk about politics on my blog because I am just not that into it. Religion is not a common subject but it comes up. I don’t talk about DH’s job or about sex. To the best of my knowledge, apart from DH my family has no idea I blog but they could come across it at some point, so I filter things I don’t want to become family issues. I don’t see my family much so this really isn’t a problem for me

Staceys last blog post..Let’s play pretend

I have a warped sense of humor and I sometimes edit myself in comments because I’m worried that the person won’t take it in the spirit it was written because they don’t realize I’m not making fun of them.

I don’t curse on my blog (although in real life, I have the mouth of a fishwife) or talk about anything I wouldn’t want my parents to read because there’s always the chance they may come by. I’ve been very open with my family about my blog and I try not to write anything about any of them that might hurt them.

Mary Beths last blog post..LIKE HAIRS THROUGH A COMB, SO GO THE STRANDS OF OUR LIVES

Yes. Once.

I wanted to bitch out my in-laws for making my mom cry last week. But I didn’t, out of respect for my husband because my blog is no longer “anonymous” or even “semi-anonymous”.

Miss Britts last blog post..I am a tool. Seriously.

What a good question…I’ve loved reading the comments too.

On our blogs, I censor myself a lot. But our blogs are more for photo sharing with the entire famdamily, so it’s not as much of an emotional outlet as some blogs are for others.

On our homeschool blog, I censor my homeschool vs. public school opinions mostly. I have many friends who are not homeschoolers, & I’m afraid I would offend them if I said what I really thought. Plus, I always say that homeschooling isn’t for every family, & just because it’s the path we’ve chosen, it doesn’t mean it has to be YOUR path. So although I do have some strong convictions in favor of homeschooling, I would never post them in depth.

HappyCamperss last blog post..How Could I Forget The Fireworks?

Heh. Sometimes I hesitate to comment on others’ blogs because I join in the discussion SO DAMNED LATE.

I hesitate to comment on some of the hard things of life on other peoples’ blogs, mostly because I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to hurt or offend them. L, I hope I never hurt your feelings with anything I said regarding losing your Little One. I just haven’t figured out a way to hug someone through the Internet and just be a listening ear for them, I guess.

It’s also hard to connect my faith in any way to the comments I leave or the posts I write on my own blog, because faith is such a personal thing and hits a lot of people in a raw spot. I think I always fear coming off as Prim, Judgmental Church Lady and alienating other bloggers (whom I love dearly) who are not the church-going type because they think I think they need to be reformed or whatever.

My blog started out anonymous and the perfect place for me to vent my mind, but then my husband linked mine to his (with our unusual, not-common last name splashed EVERYWHERE) and our entire church reads his since he’s in ministry, so now I am no longer anonymous. No longer to freely speak my mind, too, which bothers me. Most of my inner ramblings and thoughts are not exactly PG!

Sigh.

annes last blog post..remembering fred

Hey Lotus, you impress me everyday! Even the poop stories – lol. Keep up the great work.

If I don’t post a comment it is because I am too lazy or someone has already zapped my thoughts and got to the post first (the nerve!) Also, sometimes I don’t create a post of what I really want to say – for example stories about my family or how I am “feeling”, I think about my husband getting upset or my mom calling to see if I’m OK and I just don’t want to deal with it.

Thanks for asking!

Reader forever!
Carrie
Twitter: koehmstedt

Hey Lotus, you impress me everyday! Even the poop stories – lol. Keep up the great work.

If I don’t post a comment it is because I am too lazy or someone has already zapped my thoughts and got to the post first (the nerve!) Also, sometimes I don’t create a post of what I really want to say – for example stories about my family or how I am “feeling”, I think about my husband getting upset or my mom calling to see if I’m OK and I just don’t want to deal with it.

Thanks for asking!

Reader forever!
Carrie

koehmstedts last blog post..Mama Mia!
Twitter: koehmstedt

I would LOVE to gripe about my marriage. But I don’t for two reasons.

1. My husband reads my blog, and he is very sensitive. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He is amazing in very many ways.

2. I don’t want to give people the impression that my marriage is in trouble.

There are many things I’d love to vent about, but I just can’t because people would make false assumptions out of the goodness of their hearts. Sometimes I wish I’d made my blog anonymous for this reason.

I could totally see you as a psychologist. You seem to be very easy to talk to. I mean who else talks about poo and stuff so openly. LOL And no I’ve never really held anything back in comments. I would NEVER be mean to someone in a comment. If I had something to say then I would be kind about it. And I think you are awesome so keep up the great work!

Tiffanys last blog post..I’m Meltiiiing!

Sometimes when I’m really pissed at the hubby (or other members of my fam) I want to vent on my blog but I don’t because I don’t want to hurt feelings. It is usually a very good thing I don’t be I tend to overreact.

Sometimes I do have comments of people’s blogs that I want to write, but I don’t. It is usually just difference of opinion stuff, but I end up not writing it because I don’t want to send a wrong message. Often times it is hard to get across sarcasim (did I spell that wrong??) or get my point across without writing a book. So instead I just don’t write it. Damn, I’m lazy!

Kathryns last blog post..A Wise Decision

Can I just say that I think this idea is fabulous!
I, too, have thought in the past that there ought to be a place where we can blog anon to vent, brag, whine, whatever. I see that others have thought the same. Dude, you set it up, you will have followers….guaranteed.

Mandys last blog post..Luck be a lady…with raging PMS

I normally do not post something if I disagree.. I just don’t need to get into a debate about my views and opinions on the web.. But I will promise you I will do my best to put my two cents in on your blog because I do adore you and all.

Kims last blog post..Leo-Licious Randomness

Yes, there are things I have been wanting to talk about on my blog but refrained. One is sex or anything related to sex, mainly because I am using my real name and kid’s names and I don’t want people from my daughter’s school or my husband’s business to see that kind of stuff. The other is religion. Religious intolerance is rampant so no matter how much you believe in your faith, sometimes I don’t feel comfortable sharing it. But then, I try to mostly keep things light on my blog so those things probably don’t really belong there anyway.

Elisas last blog post..Stella’s productive week (from the "Stella the Charming Terror" series)

River,

All of your numbered points make total sense to me.

I have to admit, that in the case of #3, if you could phrase your opinion in a constructive way (you know, not attack-y, which I wouldn’t expect from you, anyway) I would always actually HIGHLY WELCOME someone with a different viewpoint. Just saying!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Laura,

I think it really is hard to think of what to say to people in times of tragedy. You want to say something that will help, but you never can really tell form your viewpoint. As I mentioned in above comments, sometimes you just have to step forward to make that personal connection and hope for the best, I think.

Also, I’d say don’t worry about the “doesn’t know me thing” if you can help it. They have to get to know you somehow, right? And mostly, I think that no one would think “why is she commenting?” Maybe the best way to think of it (in my opinion) is to imagine if you would feel that way… I don’t think I’d ever dislike any comment from anybody! (Unless it was just plain rude.)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Veronica,

I fully believe you!

In fact, is there anything I can get for you today? You look lovely and your hair is so beautiful!

*tiptoes away*

<3 :-)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Lilacspecs,

I AM such a douche, aren’t I!? Thanks for noticing! Hahaha.

I am really SO very sorry that you had a bad experience. It really upsets me that people out there are that petty. I can never understand why a person would have a blog, open it to public comments, and then only expect to get 100% agreement. And how is getting only 100% agreement even healthy and preferable? I’d rather have the chance to think and grow, I think.

You can always feel free to disagree here. We may end up having to agree to disagree, but there is certainly nothing wrong with that, and we might (all) learn something in the process!

I’m going to start that anonymous blog, btw, and you’ll be hearing more about it. You are heartily welcomed to be an author there.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Beck,

I mentioned in other comments, there are a few things I hold back on, mostly out of respect for the people they are about. But it bothers me sometimes, because there are posts I think would be great that I want to write… but they involve some of that stuff. I want to write about it, but… AHHH.

That being said, I obviously do write about a lot of stuff. I’m working on the whole “embarrass my kid” thing. Oy, vey. Heh.

I think a lot of us are hesitant on politics and/or religion. Those always seem to get people’s panties wadded, and it is such a shame, because they are places where so much growth and opportunity for discussion lie!

Would you be willing to post on my anonymous blog, my lovely?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Tammy,

Thanks, I like to be silly. It’s the only way I don’t go completely nuts.

I mentioned a bit about the politics and religion in my comment to Beck… those are hard for so many people.

I’m hearing you n the in-laws, for me it makes me second think things I say about their son!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Christi,

I am so glad to hear that you feel comfortable here. It means a lot to me, really. But I’m really not a cool kid – I’m a dork! Not to make you feel unspecial, or anything. *snort*

I do try my best not to tell stories about other people that would hurt them, that is one area that I stick to firmly, though I have wanted to break that rule at times.

I’ll be talking more about the Anon Blog, so stay tuned. I think it’ll be great!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Lou,

That is the one thing about the internet that drives me INSANE! There is so much chance for people to take your words incorrectly (and ohhh, they do) JUST because they can’t see your face or hear your words.

On the whiny thing – I have to admit that I have a reeeaaallly whiny streak. While I know that’s annoying, I also just accept it to some degree as part of my personality. Also, I must say that if I post a “depressed” post, I’ve probably already been telling myself for some time “JUST GET OVER IT, LOTUS, SUCK IT UP” and I’m finally at my breaking point. I’m actually really, really bad at asking others for help or admitting really deep problems.

(All that being said, I didn’t think you were attacking me, I just wanted to make the point.)

Twitter: LotusCarroll

Wait. Did I start this? With the whole novel long comments on gratitude journals and feeling your feelings? haha!

I try to always be honest in my comments everywhere, though at times I have to think about how to convey my honesty without coming off as an asshat.

Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..T-Minus 13 Days and Counting

JJ,

Thanks so much. I wish we could all be more “human” with each other and give one another the benefit of the doubt more often! I guess it’s also very human to have some hangups, though, right? Hah.

What you mentioned about feeling un-alone has been one of the great things I’ve come to love about blogging. Not only does it do that for me, but knowing that I help do that for other people? On a day when I might (MIGHT) want to give it all up, it is MORE than enough to make me keep going.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I have wanted to respond to something from this blog and I did not. It wasn’t a BAD thing. Just kind of a some”thing”.
I guess that does not make much sense.

Sue,

So good to know you can see me again!

Sounds like you have the same Low Filter Disease that I have. It takes work to keep that in check, doesn’t it?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Fianna,

Haha, yeah, I can see how people might take that joke badly. Sometimes stuff like that is only humorous to people who are close to you and really really know and understand that you don’t actually feel that way. And facial expressions are the element that lacks on the internet, that, and tone of voice.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I promise you that I read every comment, regardless of how many there are. Sometimes I don’t get it the very first day after it’s made, but I do read them all. Each one comes to my email inbox, so I don’t even miss comments made on old posts. And truly, each one of them means a lot to me.

But really, it probably is because you’re a lazy douch. GAH.

Twitter: LotusCarroll

Z,

Good way of dealing with it and still getting your release! Do you ever crave sharing that touchy work with the public? I think that’s the only thing that’s missing for me. I really enjoy actually releasing my pieces to other eyes, for many reasons. I could write that stuff about John in a journal, for example, but for some reason there is something even more therapeutic for me about sharing it with others. KWIM?

Btw, I appreciate even the “Yo! I was here.” comments, because I know how busy ppl are, and I just like seeing that you wanted to say hi to me. It’s friendly!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I just recently discovered your blog so there hasn’t been a ‘thing’ I wanted to comment on here but didn’t.

But I have had run into that on other blogs. Usually it is something about religion or politics on a blog that I would typically fall under the mommy blog category. I realize that all moms have different political and theological views so I tend to keep my ‘mouth’ shut and move on.

Thus one of the major reasons I keep the religion and politics posts to a minimum at my blog unless it is something I’m very passionate about or is weighing heavily on my mind.

T with Honeys last blog post..A seafood dinner: the unplugged version

Flutterby,

You have things set up really well! I actually didn’t think it all through when I started, and my tendency is to bare all anyway, so I was already waaay out by the time I hit a bump thinking, “Well, I can’t really say THAT now can I?” For the most part, I still do, but there are some areas I still stop myself from entering with the public. I’d totally post about them anon, though.

And I’m really sorry that you had a yucky internet experience. There are so many hurting people out here in BlogLand. Unfortunately, hurting souls often cope by lashing out. I’ve been guilty of it myself at times. I’m not proud of it, but it gives me a perspective on the “trolls” and I try to remind myself to remember that they’re people, too. (Even if they are Asshatians.)

Oh, and I didn’t mean to diminish what happened to you, b/c that really is awful. You should never feel like you have to delete the thing you do for yourself!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Stacey,

I have also tried to make funny comments that were taken in entirely the wrong way, ie: not at all how I meant them. I think ti’s part of the thing about not being able to see someone’s face/hear their voice. It sucks, because it can damage a relationship if either party is stuck behind wanting to be angry about it afterward. Part of the danger of interacting with other humans, though, I guess is chancing discord. And I think it’s ultimately worth it for all the good that can be accomplished!

I said it in other comments, too. Religion/Politics are tough, b/c so many people take those things so personally. It’s hard to have a completely indifferent conversation.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I think the only time I’ve ever censored my comments on anyone’s post was when they miscarried. Here in particular. I’m afraid to write anything for fear it will hurt rather than help or will say something that goes completely against their beliefs. I would rather stay silent than make it worse than it already is.

As for censoring on my own blog, I’ve had to delete posts because of friends back lash and be careful what I talk about because so many people read it. So instead, I created a new secret blog(the one that comes up here) where I can say whatever whenever and no one reads except strangers who stumble across it.

Jessicas last blog post..Moving, I hate moving!

Mary Beth,

Hahah, I definitely understand what it’s like to have a warped sense of humor. Sometimes I wonder why you guys read. LOL

I mentioned it in another response, I’ve tried making jokes that got taken the wrong way and then actually caused a lot of hurt, so I know it’s hard. I’ve tried harder since then to be careful of the feelings of others, but in the end, I still feel I have to be myself with people, or it would be like I wasn’t being genuine, either. Sometimes I guess, you just have to let the opportunity to say something go by if you feel you can’t do it carefully. I’ve learned that the hard way!

I curse here, but I tend to stay away from the “heavier” curse words. You’ll probably never see F, MF, CS, or GD here. In fact, I practically never say GD, just a personal thing. I do, however, drop all manner of F Bombs on Twitter. My website, to me, is just a place where I’d prefer to be a little bit less offensive, in respect of readers.

On Twitter, I have no respect, but I still love everyone. HAHAHA!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Miss Britt,

Holy shit! YOU’VE held back?

*snort*

You know I <3 you, right? :-)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

HappyCampers,

It’s good that you are able to have your opinion, but realize that you might upset others if you were completely out there. I think there are times when we have to say to ourselves, “There really would be nothing gained for me to say that, and something lost.” and then be able to be happy with not saying it.

That has always been HARD for me. I get this icky feeling like I’m actually LYING to someone when I don’t tell them exactly what I think. But I’m learning!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

anne,

There were very, very few comments that hurt me a bit, and I don’t believe they were yours. Even on the once I can remember, it was only slight… and the overwhelming memory/feeling is that the person was trying to support me. And in the end, that is what I have carried with me, so it’s all good. I’ve just had to rant and cope and heal on my own terms.

I understand about the faith thing. I don’t talk about it as often either. I’m not too entirely worried about it, but at the same time, I tend to steer towards other topics. I really should talk about it more, just so I’m “out” about what I think. The thing is, I also change in my faith/belief regularly as I learn/grow/experience, so it would never be at static position.

By the way, you are welcome to post on our AnonyBlog when I get it set up.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Carrie,

It’s good to be in the company of someone who is impressed by poop! Hahaha.

I often don’t comment on sites (YES, I LURK!) when I’m pressed for time. IE: ALMOST ALWAYS Hehe.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Memarie Lane,

I have the same 1 and 2 that you do. I have many things I could say about John, that would actually make really great posts (IMHO) but I hold them back. I like being married! Haha.

I’m thinking this AnonyBlog I’m going to set up is going to be a great thing. Will you post there?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Tiffany,

I’ve always had a great interest in people, how they think, what makes them tick, etc. I have the degrees to prove it, but I don’t officially use them. But I do like to peek into the minds of those I can. I totally appreciate all comments I get, because often, they allow me to do just that.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Kathryn,

I’m also a member of Overreacter’s Anonymous! I also tend to get over things quickly, though, and then I just want to work things out. I’ll admit it, I’m kind of a Ranty Kumbaya Chick.

Leave the “i” out. And YES, you better believe I know about how hard it is to get the sarcasm across and still have people actually get it. Heh.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Mandy,

Why yes, yes you can say that. Feel free to give me other compliments, liberally. *snort*

I’ll let everyone know when it’s ready to launch. Excited to see everyone get their “Anon Posts” out!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

I don’t talk about my parents or my husband (much), though being able to talk about my mother right now sure would be helpful!

I don’t comment here often, but I’ve also never felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t.

It honestly hasn’t happened here but yes on other blogs I have rolled my eyes all the while wanting to write a blunt comment when someone appears judgmental or bragging towards others.I never make the comment but I tend to not continue reading after awhile.

There have been a few times I”ve wanted to comment on someone’s blog and held back for fear of attack. But when they’re obviously doing something to themselves and then complaining about the outcome, it’s hard not to want to point it out. Does that make any sense at all?
As for my own blog, I have my very own personal stalker, my ex-husband’s wife, so I censor myself on there, and I hate it.

dysfunctional moms last blog post..One of the Closest Families I Know.

Let’s see… I don’t talk politics because I don’t need to hear it from my inlaws should they happen to read it. FIL and I have rather opposing views, shall we say.

I don’t discuss family beyond my husband and kids much. I talk a bit about what goes on with my husband and kids though, but not in great depth. There’s only so embarrassed I want my kids to be later on. Then again, my 6 year old daughter asking me how to not have a baby was too funny to not mention. My forum got that one, not the blog.

Then again, I do have blogs that most family don’t know anything about, and I like it that way. A little more freedom there, especially when I do keep it relatively anonymous. Haven’t done that much lately, though. Hubby’s been laid off since January and his computer is next to mine. Talk about making it hard to blog whatever I want! Thank goodness he has a job starting in a couple weeks.

Stephanies last blog post..Is It Really Time for Back to School Shopping Already?

Holy long comments! I thought I’d never get to the end!

I have disagreed with bloggers before about, say, politics or religion, but each to their own- I would never say anything. Mom always said “you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all.” For the most part, though, I comment exactly what I’m thinking because it’s fairly positive.

I have absolutely not had to hold back anything while commenting here. But I wonder, is there a post in paticular, that you thought might stir something up, that didn’t. When I post about my blog being secret, I expect people to criticize that I keep a secret from my husband, but they really never have( OK, one has).

My blog, however, I don’t listen to my mom. I think I’m one of the few that don’t have to sensor. Not a soul that knows me, knows I blog. I have struggled with that decision, but ultimately think that it has helped me get things off of my chest in a ‘no holds barred’ manner. It helps me and seems to be well recieved and I think some appreciate the honesty even though it might not be sunshine and rainbows all the time.

Kim,

I can respect that as well. Sometimes I think the web is really where people go to “relax,” and in that case, I can see how you’d have no desire to debate!

PS: Adoration mutual. I’m a lover!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Elisa,

You are not alone: Sex, Religion, & Politics seem to be high on the list of things people avoid talking about. I guess it makes it easier to avoid unnecessary conflict.

I tend to be a conflict seeker, btw. But also a lover. So I’m full of contradictions.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Queen of Shake-Shake,

Omg, that is so like you – what an asshat thing to say – that this was your idea! BAHAHAHAH! Totally kidding of course.

The post has actually been simmering in me for months, if you can believe that. Brought on and developed by my daydreaming ways and by events and experiences related to this website and its readers.

Also, I can totally tell that you’re a very open and honest person. I like that about you a lot. It’s very apparent in your writing, and endeared me to you very much right away.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Allie,

How about you tell me in email what it was about, if you don’t feel like doing it in comments. I’d be pretty happy to hear what you wanted to say.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

T With Honey,

That makes total sense. Just so you know, you can always feel free to let me know something – and if you don’t feel like doing it in comments, just email me. I can’t promise I respond to 100% of emails, but I do try really hard to respond to them regularly. And by all means, if you really want a response, the best way is to just ask me like, “Hey, I know you’re busy, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d respond to this.” It would get my attention.

Anyway, point being, I welcome discussions, comments, suggestions, and constructive criticism. The only thing I can do without is hatefulness or petty childishness.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Jessica,

I appreciate you caring enough about my feelings (and others’s) that you didn’t want to say something to hurt me (them). I get that it’s hard to say something to someone who’s hurting. I struggle with that, too.

Sounds like you’ve found a good way to post with anonymity. Good for you!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

yes…i want to say something to the other “cheaper than therapy” blogger who has only been blogging for a couple months and has been showing up commenting on blogs that i comment on.

i just don’t want i’d say.
the name isn’t copyrighted or anything.
but i feel like “cheaper than therapy” is ME.

alis last blog post..this week i will…

I don’t talk about sex (usually, I broke that rule a little bit this week) or my crazy inlaws along with several other things because my inlaws all know about it and occasionally read the blog. I also have a prek teacher from our school (she taught two of my kids) who reads and I don’t know if any of the other teachers know about it.

I want to talk about how my mom hates me. But I don’t.

I want to talk about how I get so damned lonely sometimes. But I don’t.

I want to talk about how I am trying to adopt a child and I found a child to adopt but the adoption people won’t let me talk about it.

There is lots I want to talk about but I won’t.

I also won’t ever be intentionally nasty. Life is too damn short. No matter what.

Redneck Mommys last blog post..When Nature Calls
Twitter: talesfromtyahoo.ca

In the past, I’ve not said things that I wanted to, but mostly it was me just feeling snarky that day and I don’t want to hurt people. I try to remind myself that written words have just as much power, if not more than ones said outloud. Online you can’t see people’s faces, so you can misread things.

Now, I start to comment and delete it, thinking, man this person could care less what I say. I do that on Twitter all day long as well. But that’s really my issue.

On my blog….I’ve always said what I wanted. Now and previously. (just started it up again after 18 months)

Issas last blog post..I swear the bitch was judging me

Grr. Submit got hit before I was finished, I was going to say that I really don’t censor myself too much in comments on other blogs though. I try to be honest and share my experience if it is pertinent and if I can’t say something nice at all or at least polite than I don’t say anything. Period.

I will say though that I usually avoid conversations about religion and politics simply because people have difficulty NOT getting upset and things always get heated. I’m not interested in a heated debate so I just avoid it all together. But if it feels like a safe place where fingers won’t start pointing and feelings won’t get hurt than I jump into the conversation as long as I feel like I have something to contribute.

Holy Frick, you have like a bajillion comments. I didn’t read them all…sorry. I can tell you, sometimes that’s why I neglect to comment – I don’t have time to read them all or to collect my thoughts in an intelligent way, so I skip it. And I shouldn’t, because I know how much comments mean to me.

As for what I want to say on a blog – on mine, I’m pretty open. There are a few topics my family has asked me not to discuss. Unfortunately those are some of the topics I’d most like to talk about. But, what can you do? I’m not an anonymous blogger. On other blogs – I won’t use a comment to be insulting or negative. I try to follow the golden rule as far as comments go – I leave the kind I’d be comfortable getting.

(P.S. I have to tell you that I’ve actually titled a post “You May Say I’m A Dreamer.” Perhaps this is why I’m losing readers…)

I think I’ll jump in too, if that’s alright.

I am absolutely censored on my blog. I made the mistake of writing a rant about a member of my husband’s extended family and though I didn’t name names or their relationship to me, it was still obvious who it was about. Obvious enough that the sh$t hit the fan HARD. I switched blogs and identities but it wasn’t enough to sway one particularly crazy person from spending a couple of weeks going insane on the internet and managing to find my new place. (Never, never use the same blog platform if you’re “running away” from someone.) So, I started all over again, new name, new space and severed all ties from my old one. I had a couple of years worth of posts on there that I was proud of and now they’ll never see the light of day again. It sucks. So, I now stay away from any online “tantrums” because it totally screwed me over the one time I gave in. One day, maybe I’ll feel safe enough to write more of what I truly want to write, but not yet. Which is too bad, since I have a lot of pent-up emotion about the whole thing – I’m not angry often but I have been pushed to the brink and no matter how much I try to ignore it, it’s a huge weight on my shoulders. Stupid extended in-laws.

Whew! Sorry. That was an unintelligable mouthful. Carry on, everyone!

Walking With Scissorss last blog post..Wherein I embark on my new career as a head surgeon…

Oh, and I should clarify: they SO started it!! It’s ugly. Really ugly. And absolutely not my fault. (Except for the rant.) So I’m frustrated. Blah!!

Walking With Scissorss last blog post..Wherein I embark on my new career as a head surgeon…

I have not encountered it here. You have a great balance. Some blogs come off as way narcissistic and you can tell they are just constantly one upping to make them feel better about their life. I don’t usually frequent those so if you are on my list, you can consider yourself humble people! HEH!
I like real, non censored blogs. That is the way mine is and that is what I like to read. Those fantasy Mommy blogs freak me out, do they really live like that? Is there life THAT perfect? Probably not and I wish they would say so instead of painting this glorious painting of a non believable life.
I could of made this all shorter.

You are real Lotus!~

Special Ks last blog post..We interupt this blog

Ali, I love your blog design!

I’d like to weigh in on the name issue by talking about something completely unrelated, because I am a douche. Ha!

I used to work with some models, and every other week there was some huge blow out between these girls. A few in particular were very hypersensitive to anyone they felt was “copying.” But sometimes it was blatantly obvious the person in question did copy their ideas without much, if any, modification, and certainly not enough of a “spin” on it to keep it somewhat original. I mean, we all get inspired by things we come into contact with. But they should be launchpads for our own creativity, not looked at as a pattern to copy exactly.

I do totally get why those girls were pissed off. But at the same time, I look at it like I try to look at my relationship:
I am unique, and no one can imitate me better than I can “do” me, without even trying. If my guy finds someone else (who is imitating me) better than me, than it wasn’t *me* he liked so much anyway, so he can go on with himself.

I figure that, using any random blogger as an example, if someone starts copying her after she’s built up her standing in the community, and a reader stumbles across the other one, and likes her style better, than she would have gone anyway since the heart of who Lotus is wasn’t what she was really looking for. Holy crap. That sounds more mixed up than my hubby’s sock drawer. I’m going to take a leap of faith and assume my point came across in all that gobbledy-gook.

I don’t want to downplay the frustration of having your intellectual property rifled through and assimilated into someone else’s without permission. But I think that if we are true to ourselves, our individuality will come through, and the people who appreciate our own specific style will hang tight, no matter how many phonies come through.

Also, it may just be a complete coincidence. When I decided to do this blog, I was thinking of names and came up with several that, once researched, I found other women had already claimed. If I hadn’t researched and had stuck with one of those ideas, I would have still been a butthead for not checking, but I’d be less of a butthead than if I had checked, and went ahead anyway.

Disclaimer: I am not accusing you Ali, or anyone else, of being petty or anything like that. I really do empathize with how it must feel to see your “handle” on a comment you didn’t make, and worrying that other people won’t pick up the difference. This is just a topic I thought about a lot when I worked with the models I mentioned and your dilemma got me pondering the issue again.

Angel Smiths last blog post..Choke it down, at all costs.

Ha, I obviously was going to use Lotus as an example, but wasn’t sure if I should, so I edited it to any random blogger..but I forgot to change the next sentence.

SUCH a douche. *smacks forehead*

Angel Smiths last blog post..Choke it down, at all costs.

Honest? I’ve held back because you have. I don’t think it’s helping either of us. The ladies labeled your true friends have missed you something fierce for a very long time. Come out and play sometime, ya hear?

imaginary binkys last blog post..Loud and bawdy

After almost five years of blogging there is very little that I haven’t discussed.

However, as my anonymity has dried up I have found myself sharing less personal material than I used to.

Some of my early posts were far more raw and honest.

Jacks last blog post..We Still Carry The Pain of Our Past Part II

I have done it once. It was invigorating. It also gave me the most comments and the most two-sided open conversation and discussion on very controversial topics. I wrote my very unpopular conservative beliefs for everyone to see. http://aboneill.blogspot.com/2008/05/post-where-angie-takes-stand-and-loses.html

It was great to see how civil people could be in comments and conversation.

KEEP BELIEVING

Angie @ Keep Believings last blog post..Once there was a little boy….

Ok, I almost didn’t comment simply for the fact of how interesting can comment 140 or whatever I am be?

But…do I ever feel like I can’t comment on something? I hate to say ‘can’t', because I know I can do whatever I want. I do choose not to sometimes, for several reasons (and I would never leave mean comment calling anyone a douche, btw. I’m talking even constructive criticism).

a) I read several mom blogs, and I’m not a mom. So what the hell do I really have to contribute? Me thinks not much. I stay mum on that

2) I’m a wimp. And I don’t like confrontation or drama. I’m getting my PhD in Communication, and I can geek on for hours about how easy it is to mistake what someone is saying on the Internet because you can’t see their face or hear their tone. And if someone’s going to freak out because they misunderstand my sarcasm, or what I’m trying to say…eh. I don’t need the drama. I’d rather stay mum.

c) I’m a newish blogger, trying to build my own site. I’ll admit I’ll step on eggshells and hold back from commenting if I think I might piss someone off because I love when my traffic goes up.

I think, ultimately, people have a hard time finding the line between constructive criticism and being mean. I think we get too afraid to offend people and we keep mum.

Nothing that you have ever written has offended me. Have I always agreed? Nope. But like Mr. Lady said, this is your blog, your place, your space. I make the choice to read you.

And on my own blog? I admit I write under an anonymous name. PhD = teaching job someday teaching about the Internet and such = not wanting to make it that easy for prospective employers to google me and realize what an idiot I am. I don’t put certain things on my own blog because I knowingly put a privacy restriction on me. And I’m fine with that!

Annies last blog post..Countdown Initiated

I don’t write about my marriage, because Hubby reads my blog and is highlty private. I can’t write any negative about my oldest son because he also reads my blog and I don’t want to damage or hurt him. I stay away from specific circumstances with a friend if she reads my blog.

Makes for a lot of censorship. I often wish and desire to write my rants about Hubby or the kids or lame friends, but control those urges.

I guess a blog is not a diary. I try to keep that in mind.

Love yours.

A Serious Attempt at Funs last blog post..What a Terrible Title

I write the truth about me and it’s scary as fucking hell! Wait, how do you fuck hell?! Okay, now I’m a little anxious about swearing on your blog and I’m tempted to go back and erase it. That’s what I do plenty of times: type the truth, erase it, and post the nicer version.

And yeah, I also write the truth about my family, which is one reason why my mom doesn’t like to read my blog. Although now that we’re closer I think she’s less afraid of what I’ll say.

Ultimately, I like that you’ve sparked this dialogue – it’s got me thinking about what I put out there.

You’re cool :~)

Cassandra Raes last blog post..The Breast Spa {part 3}

I don’t talk about anything too personal on my blog b/c my mother and MIL read and I don’t want to upset them if I write something they wouldn’t like.

I SO appreciate all girlies who can write anything and everything, and I’ve even thought about starting a new blog to write about personal stuff.

You know I’m here for ya, chica.

I absolutely want to blog about a whole lotta stuff I end up not blogging about. My top 2:

1. Stuff about my husband, our relationship, and how hard marraige can be at times. But because my friends, family, and my husband read the blog, I’m afraid that venting about that would do more harm than good.

2. Stuff about being a corporate manager in a man’s world – and how HARD that is sometimes. But I’m always afraid my work will find out that I’m Cookiebitch some day … and then I’ll be blogging about how to find the really good scraps in restaurant garbage bins.

Wow, that was liberating. Thanks for giving us a space to vent

cookiebitchs last blog post..SHOE SPIN-OFF

There is something I don’t discuss on my blogs and that is other bloggers (in a negative way).

Just recently I was subjected to a blog being posted about myself on a now ex-friends blog. Whether I have dissolved a friendship or not, I would not go out onto the www and say anything hurtful about somebody else and fuel the fire further by allowing hurtful comments being posted on that blog post. The majority of people who commented didn’t know me and also didn’t know the person who wrote it, they were just a cyber friend and only saw her ‘version’ of the story. I didn’t stoop to that level and post a retaliation on my own blog. It’s childish and ridiculous. However I feel like I’ve now had my vent so I thank you so much for that

I also can’t vent about my husband on my blog because he reads it religiously every single day ha ha. Unfortunately I can’t vent about his mother either for the same reason.

Tonyas last blog post..HERB-ALICIOUS

heels,

I think we all have certain things we don’t blog about, and sometimes it would really help us to get it out! Some bloggers seem to be saying that they have an anonymous “side blog” where they talk about that stuff.

I’m also going to be launching a blog in the coming month that will allow anyone to be an anonymous author and write about things they can’t write about on their blogs. You in?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Kitty,

I guess it’s also kind of like real life, where you have to choose who you really want to hang around and who you’d rather avoid, right? I can totally see that.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

dysfunctional mom,

Yes, it makes total sense! But you know what else, I can think of AT LEAST one time that I’ve done that myself! (done something, then whined about the outcome) I’ve also left really shitty comments for people. But that’s another story!

I think the best way to comment on those kinds of things is to make sure you’re framing your comment in a supportive/suggesting help way, rather than an i’m pointing out how stupid you are way. Hehe.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Stephanie,

Looks like you’re missing your therapy!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

tenakim,

Yeah, I never even thought about anonymity, because I just keep feeling like people should accept me for who I am, know what I mean? I’m finding it’s not always that easy for people to do!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

tenakim,

Oh, and also, no, there was not particular post in mind. I was just wondering, in general.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

ali,

You know what, this is just my opinion, but I’m going to share it with you. Yay! Sharing!

I think that you should just email the person, and in a positive/friendly tone tell them that you’ve been authoring your website for some time, and are not trying to be rude, but that you kind of feel like that’s your web identity, and is there anyway she would be willing to change it up a little, like “Less Expensive Than Meds” or “Like Therapy, But No Couch” or whatever. I mean, maybe you guys can even brainstorm together and come up with a really cute blog name for her that has the same sentiment that she was trying to convey before?

What do you think?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Sleeping Mommy,

You are the more mature way I long to be! I’m learning though. Getting better and better and just letting.things.be if my contribution wouldn’t be positive.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Leslie,

Half of the comments are mine. I’m responding to all of them on this post, for fun.

And I think that’s a great title, actually, but I just got the funny joke in my head to make fun of myself instead of using it.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Walking With Scissors,

Oh, I am so sorry that happened to you. I can’t even imagine losing all the hard work I’ve put in here! You must have been devastated. You are definitely invited to post when I set up the AnonyBlog, if you feel up to it.

Also, it’s my fav that you said they so started it. *snicker*
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Special K,

Well, I really should admit that my rack is really just Beaver Tails photographed well.

<3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Angel,

WHAT A DOUCHE! *guffaw*

Really, excellent points. I WAS a butthead when I started, and DID NOT research my name. I had NO idea how many blogs existed. I guess I got really lucky. Wee!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Imaginary Binky (Sarah),

Hon, I’ve held back because I’m trying to become a new person who doesn’t have to say how they’re feeling all the time. I can’t change the things I think, or how I feel, but I can keep my thoughts to myself. That’s what I’m practicing.

I also try to make it a point to reach out and contact the people I love in small ways on a regular basis. I do feel a little frustrated when it doesn’t seem to be enough. Does that make sense? It doesn’t stop me, but it does hurt me a little.

I <3 you tons, and I’m always ready to play. You know, after the freakin’ diapers, the writing, the dishes, the crying in a corner… oh, and the obsessive Twittering. :-P
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Jack,

I have really wondered about that in my future! I have only had this website for about 10 months now, and I wonder whether, over time, I will feel MORE rather than LESS vulnerable.

I do know that there will come a time when I will say less and less about my son, because his life and its stories belong to him, and in as much as he wants them to be private and his own, I will step back and grant him that.

Regarding personal things about my thoughts and feelings, though, I have a really hard time seeing myself holding back on that stuff. But I suppose only time will tell!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Angie @ KB,

You go girl! That takes balls!
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Redneck Mommy,

I hate censoring myself, don’t you? It makes me feel like I’m being an asshat to MYSELF. Ha!

Would you consider authoring posts on my soon to be AnonyBlog?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Issa,

Is that your real name? I love it.

I try to put myself in the author’s shoes, and then I realize, OMG OF COURSE THEY WANT MY COMMENT! Hah. But, everyone is not me, so who knows? I just find that putting yourself out there often pays off, and sometimes doesn’t. I think you’ll find more pos than neg, though.

Just FYI, I always want your comment.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Annie,

Your comment is so great and well thought out! You have great perspective and rules for yourself. I often wish I had those same rules laid out for me when I started blogging, but I just jumped into the proverbial pool full of acid with all of my wounds still open. DOH!

Your #2: I am SO with you on that. SO, SO, SO. That is all.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

A Serious Attempt At Fun,

That’s a good point – not a diary. If it was, I would TOTALLY be talking about the crush I have on that boy that sits in the third row, 2 seats back. *dreamy sigh*

Would you be interested in writing posts for the AnonyBlog I’m going to launch?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Cassandra Rae,

Don’t you fucking be anxious about swearing on my blog! Hahaha. Really, just be you. I accept that, for whatever it’s worth. Like I’ve said before, only thing I don’t want here his mean/rude/hurtful to others type stuff.

Isn’t the dialogue interesting? I love everyone’s comments. This turned out even better than I could have dreamed.

PS: You’re cool, too.
PPS: You should seriously be honored, because I have NEVER dropped an F-Bomb on my website before.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

A Whole Lot of Nothing,

My whole family, and in-laws know about and read this blog at times. I can’t say I don’t think about it before I write a post. I do avoid certain topics (even if there aren’t many). Some b/c the people they would affect have mental illness, and I just don’t think that’s fair.

As far as my MIL… at this point, I think she’s gotten an eye-full… and she still reads, sends us cards, calls, and wants to visit. Either she’s okay with it, or Braden’s just THAT cute.

Your personal blog? Just send me the link when it’s up.
<3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

cookiebitch,

I get both of those, those 2 is no longer an issue for me, 1 is jumping all over my face all the time!

Say, you want to author some posts when I get my AnonyBlog set up?
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Tonya,

Yeah, it’s rather craptastic to post crude things about other bloggers or people. I totally agree.

You need to get ready to jump on board with my AnonyBlog when I launch it. Then you can get some stuff off your chest.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Hah! I have TOTALLY run into this problem, before I entered the *slightly* larger bloggy world and only blogged on MySpace. I had a HUGE vent regarding an ex of mine (whom I am still VERY good friends with) and some things that were going on regarding the mother of his daughter. He had no idea that my blog even *existed* – however, someone else felt it necessary to run and tattle like a 2-year-old, and we then had an entire bash-session via BOTH of our blogs. Looking back now, it wa unBELIEVABLE nonsense, especially since, well – I was generally UNcandid, and did not even mention specifics. But of course, I got wrapped up in the fact that, well damn! I have the right to say what I want, and well, if you don’t like it DON’T READ!

Ugh. Glad THAT’S over and done with… and now he sees things from my perspective on all fronts. Na na na na naaaa…

On here? I have never felt I had to be censored. And really, it’s just a matter of, well, if someone is offended, they have made the choice to read what offended them, right? Such silliness that people put THEMSELVES through.

Larissas last blog post..Eating on the Run…

I censor because I don’t want my oxygen world to collide with my blog world. It’s happened.

I blogged for years and you probably know me best under another name. I had to close it down due to people in the oxygen world assuming I was venting about them from a generic post of ‘this is how I feel’. I still have a family member that won’t talk to me even after I apologized and explained it wasn’t about them. UG save the drama for your mama.

Now I don’t give out my blog url to family.

I typically comment or blog what I want, with an exception of my religious beliefs. I don’t blog about that only because I feel my opinion/beliefs won’t change anyone’s feelings. Yeah, I’m one of those Bible Beaters….hehe.

As for here, I always feel at ease even if I disagree…cause you are a RAWKSTAR. (did you know this?)

Bee Repartees last blog post..Bee Is Not Shticky Or Boring

I am a lurker. I devour your site daily and never comment. Sometimes I scroll through your comments and feel that those before me have covered anything I wanted to tell you. Thank you for posting. You make me cry somtimes, you make me laugh nearly always. If there was one thing I could offer up to you, as I often find that we are experiencing many of the same things, is to take care of yourself first. No one else knows what you need as well as you do.

Hmmmm. I can’t think of anything I wanted to say and didn’t. I seem to be the type of person that no one ever has to wonder what the hell I’m thinking and believe me that is good and bad.

I love the honesty of your posts and can’t imagine someone not being comfortable saying what they think to you.

Angies last blog post..Fridge Shot

It really pisses me off when you hold the gun to my head and force me to read your Blog. Damn it!

I’ve held back on LOTS of stuff on my blog and I HATE that I do that. I’m just afraid that someone will read it and be irritated by it, or worse. (Yeah, I’m that lame. Give me time and maybe I won’t care anymore.) In one instance I had a whole post composed about a promotion I applied for, didn’t get, but WASN’T EVEN CONTACTED by the person I had apply to work for, even though I work with him on a regular basis on other projects. I mean, c’mon, don’t be a DOUCHE. HR had to call me a MONTH later and tell me I wasn’t being considered for the position any longer, and there was only a lame-ass reason why. OK, sorry…I feel better now.

I can’t say I hold back when I comment on your blog. I only hope you don’t think I’m some sort of weird bloggie stalker girl. :O)
Twitter: mommy_wins

I censor myself more on my own blog than in the comments of other peoples blogs.

Where here I feel we get into Lotus..at my blog you have the surface of me..you are my friend but not my BFF soulmate..you know what I mean..here I feel like you blog like you are blogging to your BFF FOREVER and EVER AMEN..and I can comment back at you like that…

My blog though I know my husband reads it, my in laws my friends IRL and a work friend…they don’t NEED to know everything in my heart and in my head.

IMO I don’t think either way of blogging is better than the other. I like being more ME in comments though.

MPs last blog post..Prayer – Good Wishes Request PLEASE

I would like to be included in that anonymous blog writing that you’re going to start. I have things that I would post about but family or friends might read.

Junebugs last blog post..John Mayer Live

There are subjects I don’t talk about on my blog, but would love to be able to speak freely.

My relatives do some crap that really ticks me off, but the few times I blogged about it, Ed caught all sorts of hell for it. It’s my opinion that if you’ve got a chronic condition, you do everything you can to manage it, instead of vice versa.

Oh well, kinda stuck on that one. I even posted to the blog that if you don’t like what I say, then don’t read. However, that person must not have realized that it was directed at her-she still reads every day. She never comments, though.

Sex is off limits. Family members do read the blog, so it’d be weird to have that out there. Plus, the kids are getting to the point that I suspect they’ll start reading it, too. They don’t need to know what our sex life is!

Dysfunctional, I think it’s a matter of time before my ex and his wife find my blog. We’ve participated in the same message boards, but she doesn’t know who I am. A google hit someday will show their hometown, of that I am sure. It won’t make me censor it, though-they’re a non topic.

I do keep it somewhat anonymous, in that my last name isn’t on it and my kids have nicknames. I got a little bit of grief for participating in a private message board by a former boss. It ends up that the information that I shared with the group (which I’d already shared with my boss, my district manager and regional director), was blab bed by a fellow manager to the rest of my district. My boss was a luddite and feared that my participation would hurt my job.

Funny thing was, I was so positive about the company that it was scary. Since then, though, I don’t mention current employers by name and I try to keep things somewhat vague about where I work. I don’t think it is important to know where I work. The stories I end up telling about it tend to be universal.

Suzannes last blog post..Aquatica, the Sequel

Larissa,

I came from the pit of Myspace hell, too! I cannot properly indicate to you how VERY HAPPY I am to be out.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Bee,

That is totally interested. I am very new to the bloggy world, though… 10 months old. How long ago did you have to make that change? You are a tease, btw. I am longing to know your secret identity now!

On the religious beliefs thing, your point is valid – lots of people seem very rigid with their beliefs. I think that’s sad. But the effect you will have by sharing your beliefs is important when you consider those who aren’t, and those who are still seeking. My religious beliefs are not static, they change as I grow and learn, and listen to other people, then process what they say with what I think. It’s very intriguing, actually. It’s too bad that people are easily offended.

Rawkstar? More like Dorkster.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Ok, so i just read through all of these comments and decided that I don’t need to worry about commenting.

Issa is my nickname, has been since kindergarten when I met a kid (who is a life long friend) who gave everyone he met a nickname. Didn’t matter if you liked it or not, he was going to use it. I love it though. Real name is Melissa.

Issas last blog post..I swear the bitch was judging me

Liz,

That really touched me. Thanks so much for de-lurking today! I’m trying really hard to do just what you said. Sometimes, it’s hard, but I’m getting better at it.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Angie,

We are peas in a pod, then! I know very well how it can be both good and bad!

PS: I know very well what my foot tastes like! Ahhhahaha.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

The Old Broad,

I’m so violent and controlling like that! “Take my bitter medicine and smile, damn you!”

Heh. Thanks for buckling under the pressure.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Colleen,

Ha, I’m glad that made you feel a bit better! You can join in when I launch the AnonyBlog.

And even if I did think of you as some weird stalker girl, it’d be okay, cause I like that kind of thing. <3 :-)
Twitter: LotusCarroll

MP,

I totally get that! There are a few things I hold back on, but they are very specific.

On Twitter, you can get even more of a feel for what a foul-mouthed charlatan I am, no? <3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Junebug,

You’ve got it, Hot Stuff! <3
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Suzanne,

Sometimes I wish I had been more anonymous for Braden’s sake. On the other hand, I’ve never been an anonymous type person… and it might have made me feel wholly uncomfortable, not sure!

It sucks to have to worry about your job… don’t “pull a Dooce,” right? Hah.
Twitter: LotusCarroll

Issa,

I think I love that kid! Where is he now?

Twitter: LotusCarroll

What a great idea. Thanks for this forum. I actually refrained from posting on a mommy-blogger hatefest today by some idiot dude, because there was just so clearly no winning it- I also am so new to this game that I am not comfortable opening myself up to a %^$tstorm on the internet. I like my cozy corner with my friends that I love to read and who like to read me. Know what I mean? But Backpacking Dad went in there with guns blazing, and I felt kind of like a wuss.

Lotus~

I think you have awesome ideas and you’re so funny and your personality totally comes over in your blogging. Thank you for that!

I just started this whole blogging thing. But yes, I think sometimes it’s about walking a fine line. We live in such a PC world, that you can’t say almost anything without first thinking, who will I offend here? Sometimes that’s good and sometimes I think it makes people hold back.

I have to say, like a lot of other people, I wouldn’t discuss sex or my in-laws – which of course, like other people said, I’d have some totally bad-ass stories to share. My mil would probably say something like “blogging is nice, if you can afford it!” Ugh.

I also have the whole Catholic guilt thing going for me. I have a lot of friends who are really, deeply devoted – which I have to say, I’m definitely a more traditional Catholic as well, and I hate to offend that group of my friends with any taboo topics. I have a lot of crazy, liberal friends that I love dearly who don’t judge me for things I might say – like some of my more conservative friends.

I unfortunately swear a lot in my real life and love to call people names and stuff like that. So, that part of my personality doesn’t always come out in my blog. It kinda makes me feel like I’m holding back from the true me. But at any rate, I try to at least remember to be somewhat charitable in my posting – kinda that whole golden rule thing – although sometimes it’s really hard and I totally want to go off.

Okay, that’s it for now. Keep the genius coming.

KimH.s last blog post..Almost Wordless Wednesday….

The reason I have never blogged is I keep thinking “who is going to care what I am thinking”. I follow a lot of people in their blogs, twitter, ect, but never really comment for the same reason. I feel I am a true lurker, but what posting this means that I am not one anymore, oh well, I guess I need baby steps to come out of my shell. Thanks for the blogs, I really enjoy reading them and I will try to continue to comment.

[...] post from the other day (I wonder about stuff… alot.) has provided what I would say is the most fun I’ve had in my own comments section in a very [...]

I can’t believe I read through this all. The only thing that I’m bummed about is that I wasn’t around when you first posted this.

I can’t wait to see what becomes of this discussion . . .

LaskiGals last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: He’s "Talking" Already

I pretty much say what’s on my mind. The only time I don’t is when I figure it would be a waste of my time (the person I’m saying it to is closed-minded). Great post (you sure are loaded with them!)

I can’t believe I missed this post, it’s a great idea!

I don’t think I’ve ever been afraid of saying anything anywhere. Sometimes -a few times- I chose not to say something because I thought it wouldn’t add to the discussion or it would make it go through a more complicated path. But it’s not because I was afraid of speaking my mind.

When an idiot I thought was a friend used me and my family and then dared to say bad things about me in his own blog, I just went there and told him what I thought about him, and I also invited him to discuss the matter in person (he still lived here in Waterloo). I also made sure that everybody who read my blog and knew him, and was wondering what was going on, knew what was going on. It was my most (my only?) violent post ever, and I really showed I wasn’t afraid of saying anything then. I’m a big guy.

But there are exceptions… and there’s one that is painful, because I feel I’m lying to my kids. My father died two years ago; he had cancer and he was in a terrible agony. One day, my wife phone him and then told me he sounded strange. “I know”, I said, “same happened to me last night”. One hour later, he shot himself. That same morning, I had told the kids that their grampa was very sick but we were all hoping he would get well eventually. Then I had to break the news to them… but I never mentioned the way he died.

My kids are getting bigger now, but I didn’t feel they would be able to deal with the idea of something they loved willing to end his own life. I wonder if they are now… Santi is 13, and it’s time I talk to him.

Well, I digress too, but it was just my way to show what is the only thing I have been afraid of talking about in my own blog.

I look forward to your “I wonder” series!

Sorry for the length of this comments, it’s almost a mini ‘guest post’!

Gabriels last blog post..Alone with the kids – Days 05 and 06

Hey. I just started reading so I haven’t had any bad experiences on your site.

But yes, there is a lot of stuff I never write about on my blog because I don’t necessarily want everyone reading it. So I started an anonymous blog of my own under a pseudonym. In fact, because I link to your blog from my real non-anonymous blog I’m not even going to post my anonymous website here because that’s how much I don’t want pretty much anyone who knows me reading it.

It’s sad, right?

Sometimes despite the fact that I have really great supportive friends and family, I feel very very very alone because I seem to be unable to talk about how really sad and miserable I feel about a lot of stuff that’s happened in my life. I’m sure people would want me to talk to them and would try to help. I guess it’s something I have to get over. But I’m not good at talking about the REALLY bad stuff.

Know what I mean? Someone out there probably does.

Anyway, thanks, your anonymous blog that you mediate is a good idea. I hope to participate.

[...] Remember the other day when I got all excited in comments about the idea of starting an Anonymous Blog so that all of us could always have somewhere to go to [...]