It says COCK.

Thanks to Books from Birth and Dolly Parton, Braden gets a free book every month, which is all kinds of awesome. Recently, his new book was The House That Jack Built. I was pleased – that’s a cute story!

Then I read it to him at bedtime.

It screamed “COCK!” at us.

No, seriously. Look:

cock

And really, I can’t read this to him a single freaking time without picturing a giant wang all up in Jack’s house.

And yes, I know that a “cock” is a rooster. I also know that “gay” means happy and a “fag” is a cigarette. And yet, I wouldn’t say that a happy farmer smoking a cigarette next to his rooster is a gay dude tokin’ a fag by his cock.

And you probably have a lovely mental image that illustrates exactly why.

So. Thanks for this book selection, Dolly.

(Who, incidentally, I can never think of without picturing… you know damn well what.)

35 comments


  • Fabulous! Well put. And my inner 9yo boy is right there with you.
    .-= mamaspeak´s last blog ..House Keeping, or Why My Back Won’t Heal =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • *snigger*

    cock…

    I am giggling like a 10 year old boy.

    March 3, 2010
  • #snort
    COCK.

    Not going to able to think of that book the same.
    .-= Undercovermama´s last blog ..$&(#*&@(*@^!! <–That’s me trying not to drop an F-bomb at work =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • *Giggle* Somethings just reduce me to the mental level of a 8 year old kid and that is apparently one of them.

    Just for future reference when Braden is older and you decide to read Babe the Pig to him, you should know that it refers to the female dog as the bitch all the way through the book. Now I pre-read all the books BEFORE starting to read them out loud to 4 boys. That was a long ass book!
    .-= shannon´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- Toe Socks! =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • It is so good to read this author has done a good. Article is well prepared. Do keep posting such a good article,I like to read more from you I will come back to read more

    March 3, 2010
  • micha

    hahahahahaha, made me laugh and now my four year old keeps asking me why I was laughing. I used to live in the UK for a few years and believe me, I just couldn’t get used to it (let alone using the word cock in public without having at least a smirk on my face)

    March 3, 2010
  • *giggle* I don’t think I could read that without giggling every time.

    March 3, 2010
  • I would never make it through that book…I can barely say “balls.”
    .-= Rebecca´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • BWAHAHAHA thankies fot the giggle there! :D
    .-= Marylin´s last blog ..Playing with Photoshop… =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • hahaha! That’s like when our book club sent us “The Owl and the Pussy”. Seriously? How can you read something like that without cracking the hell up?
    .-= Bridget´s last blog ..Praying in Color =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • Sounds like a win/win for both of you.
    .-= Tara R.´s last blog ..The depths of her sorrow… =-.
    Twitter:

    March 3, 2010
  • lulz.
    .-= Maria´s last blog ..Hitting Women. =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • Is my husband writing this now? :-)
    .-= Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings´s last blog ..Conversations about death with a 3-year old =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • Allie

    Awesome. I’m getting that book.

    March 3, 2010
  • Too funny. But why does everything else have an illustration while COCK is just blaring? It seems to me the author of the book was maybe throwing a bone out to the parents. Haha.. bone! Get it? Yeah…
    .-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..“Helping” Hand =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • #SNORT
    .-= Linney´s last blog ..I’m Going to #Relevant10 !! =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • oh yeah. i’m a 12-year-old boy fer sure.
    .-= the planet of janet´s last blog ..On the road to discovery — self and otherwise =-.
    Twitter:

    March 3, 2010
  • Um, hilarious.
    .-= jenski´s last blog ..Buttermilk all around =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • Giggling at my desk, because apparently I am channeling my inner 12 year old boy today. But, seriously, how can you not?!?

    #snort
    .-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..ABC’s of my blog life… =-.
    Twitter:

    March 3, 2010
  • Hahaha! Cock.

    I love that we are all so mature. We have books at our house with both questionable wording and pictures that make my husband and I look at each other and giggle like little kids.

    Good stuff.
    .-= Holly {ArtistMotherTeacher}´s last blog ..Sometimes Twitter Looks an Awfully Lot Like High School =-.
    Twitter:

    March 3, 2010
  • Kelli

    You are probably more mature than me. I can’t even say the word “caulk” without giggling…

    March 3, 2010
  • Yep…. I so agree with you on this post…. That is just NOT a word for a mom to read. LOL. I would be changing it to Rooster, except my 4 yo can read and would bust me! Dont authors read this to themselves, alone at night with a glass (or three) of wine to see how the book would be read by a tired mom.
    .-= just sarah´s last blog ..run run as fast as you can… =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • erin

    I am so, so glad that I’m not the only one who thinks of Dolly’s… attributes… when I receive her books in the mail. I love the reading program! I love Dolly! I just… giggle a little, inside. Thanks for making me feel normal!

    March 3, 2010
  • Well, when you put it THAT way

    *snort*
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..Butterflies and Orchids =-.
    Twitter:

    March 3, 2010
  • This is the second blog post I’ve read today about the C word that’s not really the C word. How unbelievably funny, weird, and strange all at the same time. Just Another Mommy Blog wrote about her kids and their Chinese animal designations. One of them is…well, you know. I thought that post was as funny as this one. Thanks for my second C-laugh of the day.

    March 3, 2010
  • I came across a book like that whilst reading to the fours I teach I had to say rooster instead of cock cause I just couldn’t say cock to a room full of four year olds. I would have been laughing and they would not have gotten it or worse they would have.

    March 3, 2010
  • haha…puts me in mind of the trouble I have reading “The Runaway Bunny” by Margaret Wise Brown to my little guy. I totally crack up *every single time* that I get to the line “If you become the wind and blow me…”
    .-= Corrie´s last blog ..The First Days of Spring =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • That’s good stuff. I just shot Diet Mt. Dew out my nose. Really. And it stings… but I’m still laughing.

    -B(Sting)
    .-= B-Sting´s last blog ..Text It and End It! =-.

    March 3, 2010
  • my goodness it does say Cock doesn’t it… heh

    March 3, 2010
  • This just cracked me up. We got the book too!

    March 4, 2010
  • There are lots of hidden meanings in children’s books, this one isn’t so subtle….

    March 4, 2010
  • Hehehe – when I subbed for a 5th grade class years ago I said “wood” (totally seriously in some serious way) and one of the little boys in the back busted out laughing…the farmer in your story could also have some wood…just saying. Gay dude tokin’ a fag by his cock with some wood.
    .-= Janene´s last blog ..Admitting you have a problem – is it the first step? =-.

    March 4, 2010
  • LOL. Just LOL. :-)
    .-= Gabriel´s last blog ..Math War I =-.

    March 4, 2010
  • Haha hilarious. In middle school, I had to help elementary schoolers with their reading. They had this ancient book about animals that had the word “bitch” for a female dog. Because, yeah, that’s what it is. But seriously. I’m sure even back in the 50s it had an alternate meaning. My 7th grade self was beside herself. As was, I’m sure, every other middle schooler who had ran across that. Also: my kiddo has a book that refers to cats as “pussies”. I mean, are editors just old as dirt or does this stuff really seem ok to them?
    .-= Beth in SF´s last blog ..Super Easy Amazingly Dee-lish Pizza =-.

    March 5, 2010

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