Let’s Get Mediocre and Screw. Up.
A couple of months ago I was at a conference with many other women. I sat there listening to the conference speaker in my outfit I had agonized over, with my embarrassing, ponytailed hair that really needed to be cut, and worried about my appearance. (Because really, it IS all about me. All. The. Time.) As I sat there with all the other shiny, pretty mommies, my blood ran cold when I heard the speaker say:
“Pull up your right pantleg.”
Uh-oh.
“Now take your left hand and feel the woman’s leg to your right.”
All the shiny, pretty mommies groaned. We were BUSTED. As I reached over and felt the girl to my right’s hairy calf, and as mine was felt up as well, I thought, “this is kinda hot!” “Yay! I am not the only one who haz ugly!”
The speaker then went on to say that we shiny, hairy mommies had just participated in the “ministry of mediocrity” – helping others by showing our real selves. Wiping off the lip-plumping-diamond-shine-hydra-gloss and puckering up with our skinny, dry, cracked smackers. She said that when we show others our imperfections, they can better accept their own.
The be-atch had a point.
It made me think of a good friend with whom I have playdates. We’ve decided to betrothe our two-year-olds (really, arranged marriages just eliminate so much of the worry!) so we get the kids together so they can start getting to know each other. This girl and I are both terrible housekeepers. I love going over to her house and seeing cheerios and three-day-old shredded cheese on the floor. It’s like Christmas! She’s giving me a gift by being just as bad or worse at housekeeping as I am. And you know what? I am as comfortable in her mess as I am in my own. We can relax, celebrate our epic failure, and have a good time together.
(Exhibit A: the current state of my living room floor)
So do me a favor, blogosphere. When I see you at BlissDom or BlogHer, and I stick my hairy legs in your face and ask you to feel them, will you obligingly do so and then show me a hairy pit or a chin hair? Don’t be a tease, I know you’re not perfect. Let’s compare uglies, get comfy, and party!
Come on, now…I showed you mine. Will you show me yours?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
There has to be some law against being that gorgeous even with a ponytail and hairy legs… anyone? No? Well, it’s a good thing for Jenny, then, because she’d be in the lock-up for sure. When she’s not too busy being so damn cute, she spends her time Mommin It Up! with her cousin Emily. Hop over!
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Mr Lady
Jenny, dude. FABULOUS post.
Mr Ladys last blog post..Handled Delicately
Scout's Honor
Love this! Haven’t plucked my chin hairs in weeks.
Scout’s Honors last blog post..Boil That Hippo
Eve
I’ve known for a very long time that discovering other’s deficiencies made me feel better about my own. Now I know why – the “ministry of mediocrity.”
Eves last blog post..GRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Anissa@hope4peyton
OK. I’m SO going to do it, but no screaming and calling security! You asked for it.
Anissa@hope4peytons last blog post..Should I cut her ear off NOW?
Zoeyjane
I shave my legs, literally, about 4 times a year. You’re cool. And one of my best friends, another single mom to another crazy dramatic f/time effort kiddo who clashes horribly mine when they’re not loving each other? We trade off on who washes whose dishes. Every Single Playdate.
Zoeyjanes last blog post..On Being Too Naked
Special K
Awesome post! My floor will look just like that in 24 hours!
Khryste
Thank you. For this.
Suzanne
I appreciate that someone else says they don’t have a perfect house. Recently, I commented to someone that my kids made some elaborate Brio layouts in my old house. I have not a single picture of these works of engineering. Why? Because I focused more on the fact that the house was messy than in recording the moment they were being kids.
Vic
I love it! makes me feel better that now it’s winter my legs probably resemble big foot’s. At least I can take comfort in the fact that the face is held together (until lunchtime at least).
Ashlie- MommyCosm
Dammit, I knew I should have gone to Blissdom instead of Aruba that week…I could have avoided the whole shaving thing!
Great guest post
Ashlie- MommyCosms last blog post..Haiku Friday: Pictures of mommy
cartoongoddess
I love it! I now know I’m not the only gorilla out there. Thanks!
Mommin’ It Up! » Survivitude
[...] her a couple of weeks ago, and it’s posted today. So for some classic old-time-Jenny-fun, go check it out! Then, you will understand why I’m letting Sophie tear up packing peanuts all over my floor [...]
Photoqueen
I have hairy legs AND shredded cheese on my floor! And I’m so much more comfortable around friends who live in – and accept – the same level of real-ness.
However, all that being said, I would just die (DIE!) if I had to let someone touch my hairy leg. Please, please tell me that won’t be happening at Blissdom!
Photoqueens last blog post..It is I, princess: Carlos the Dwarf.
SECRET AGENT MAMA
I can show you many imperfections, but I’m totally plucking and waxing before I come.
I’ll show you some stretch marks, if you like. LOL
dirt
I love this post because I was feeling down on myself this morning. I haven’t had the greatest week with my weight loss experiment, and I really want to see immediate results. Thanks for reminding me that it’s all good, we don’t have to be perfect.
Peace.
dirts last blog post..Things I Love Thursday – Jan. 15, 2009
The Diaper Diaries
How nice of you to rat me out on SOMEONE ELSE’S BLOG!!! I just want to say for the record that today my legs, pits and chin are hair free. But I do have some gas. Just so you weren’t feeling bad about all my perfection
The Diaper Diariess last blog post..Frugal Friday- Turbo Tax
Malia
I hear you Jenny! I really do. You’d think after all these years I’d be OK with my vast imperfections but it gives me hives to think of someone (other than my family) seeing a dirty floor or feeling my unshaven legs. There’s an embarrassment deep within me that just can’t seem to get over. But admissions like these do help me know that I’m “not the only one”.
Just please don’t ask to use my bathroom! Eeek!
Malias last blog post..I Am Blissfully Domestic
Rachel
Jenny, I love you.
Perfect post.
Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem
Oh so true! I do shave my pits every Friday (that’s today!) but my legs get done every month or so…or longer. Whatever! And I’m the first to admit that I’m a sucky housekeeper.
Jen @ Mommay’s Mayhems last blog post..Bedtime is my nightmare!
awholelotofnothing
I don’t know what you speak of.
Dirty house? Pshaw.
Unshaved legs? Pshaw.
Ponytail? Puh. Shaw.
And now you caught me in my lies. You speaka da truth in my life.
awholelotofnothings last blog post..Somebody’s Got a Case of the Mondays
Kumiko
How great is this!?! and how true it is.
For some reason, I feel like I can go home and justify the 3 day old food on the floor.
Kumikos last blog post..racial profiling… not just for cops anymore?
tracey
My floor looks like that. Only the carpet is a bit more stained. And crunchy.
And my leg is not only HAIRY it is dry and ashy due to the freaking frigid weather.
I sound incredibly hot, don’t I?
traceys last blog post..Some numbers to mull over…
jessie
Dont ever detest your mediocrity. As long as there is no mold or poo, it’s all good. You take care of it when you can.
jessies last blog post..The Kindness Of Minions
Andrea @ Mommy Snacks.net
I will show you all my imperfections, but I was seriously gonna shave before I came because my kids just said my legs were “hairy like daddy’s” so, I didn’t want any women to think I was a dude dressed like a chic! But, it is a good point Jenny, girl!
Andrea @ Mommy Snacks.nets last blog post..Soul Snack: Death of a Plant
The Glamorous Life
Am I the only one that is really really glad I didn’t attend that mommy-blog-conference? EWWWW. I don’t want anyone touching my leg. And I don’t wanna touch theirs either. That is the creepiest thing I have ever heard a conference speaker suggest. I mean I get the friggin point and all. “We are all flawed”…blah, blah, blah…and “none of us are perfect”….blah, blah,blah….but TOUCH MY CALF? EWWW.
And BTW my floor has 3 day old cheese on it. But my legs? I shave them every friggin day, even if some stranger is not gonna touch them.
EWWWWWW.
The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..Are you an OC Blogger?
momranoutscreaming
Now this is what mom blogs are all about. I wish I had known about them when I had my first and really felt (aka smelled) like crap
Kellie
momranoutscreamings last blog post..When I Get That Feelin’
Meredith
Yes, this was a FABULOUS post! Thanks for the gentle reminder.
I always tell people we have cheese on our floor but they never believe me ; )
Merediths last blog post..5 free ways to relieve winter blahs
Jennifer S^N
Absolutely love this post!
Laurel
Hairy legs uh check
cheese and cheerios check
friends who could give a rats ass double check
only way to stay sane
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
Ha ha ha! I love it! I’ll let you (Jenny OR Lotus) rub on my hairy legs anytime!
Twitter: mommy_wins
Elizabeth
I’ll see you in Chicago this summer, and I’ll grow out my chin hairs just for you