Officially a Tennesseean? Yee-haw!
(As opposed to “Yippee-Ki-Ay“, which is what I said when I was officially a Texan.)
In case you were wondering what I did to celebrate my birthday yesterday, I’ll give you a hint…
It starts with a “D” and ends with a “V.” There’s an “M” in the middle.
No, I didn’t Dance Most Vigorously. Nor did I Distribute Mono Viciously. I didn’t even Demonstrate Musical Vibrators. (What the?)
I did that other DMV thing.
That’s right, I renewed my license. Why did I do such a foul thing on my special day of days? Well, refer to #1 on yesterday’s list.
Yes, this was the ULTIMATE in Lazy Douchiness. I let my license run ALL THE WAY to its expiration date – and it was still a TX license, so go ahead and throw those rotten tomatoes. Or just call me a dildo, whatever.
Yeah, we moved to TN from TX in May of 2006. So, uh… um… yeah. Still had my TX driver’s license because why?
LAZAY DOOSHAY.
A couple of hours at the DMV never hurt anyone, right? *insert moan*
What really killed me was the poor young woman in line a few people ahead of me – she stood there for at least an hour with an infant. Who, by the way, never cried once, even though he was awake the whole time… what manner of witchcraft is THAT? Oh yeah, some people have CALM babies. But I digress. When she got to the counter there was something wrong with the proof of insurance she brought or something. Basically, she got turned away.
HOLY SHITKNOCKERS. I think I might have cried. And cursed a little.
After waiting in line long enough for the rest of my pubes to turn grey (did I ever mention that’s started happening?) things went easily enough for me. At the picture taking, I asked if they could airbrush out my zits (depressing fact – I am a HIGHLY acne-prone pregnant person). Unfortunately, the woman said no, but she indicated that they didn’t show up in the photo… and she was right.
Insane, really, considering that this is what they really looked like as recently as yesterday (and pretty much exactly what they still look like)…
…but I’m not arguing.
Now if they could just erase my side-saddles, you know, for real.
Then I might just Disco-boogie Most Victoriously.
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kateanon
I feel SO much better about not having mine! Although I think it’s more rebellion on my part than laziness (or so I tell myself)
river
Yippe-Ki-Yay?? What are you telling me? Are you really Lila McCann in disguise?
Veronica
You know, I have done really well with the acne thing this pregnancy (it was terrible with Amy. Don’t believe me? I will email a photo) except the other day my chin and cheeks all broke out with a HUGE GINORMOUS rash. All blotchy and itchy and fun.
But yay for you! sounds like it was riveting fun.
What else did you do? Where are the ‘Lotus smeared with cake’ photos? Oh wait, do I really want to see them?
Hehe.
Veronicas last blog post..Pokey feet, strange weather and spiders
Lisa
I loathe going to the DMV. My renewal picture looks like I have no hair. Dumb ass me decided a ponytail was a good choose in a DL picture. Not that I look back, I’m thinking not so much LOL
Jeanette
Well done! LOL at you asking them to airbrush the photo
Jeanettes last blog post..Balancing on a ball
Twitter: jenty
sherendipity
We’re not allowed to smile when we take license pictures. Apparently it’s an Ontario thing. Or just something else that they can douchecanoe over your head and make your DMV experience even that more hateful. So all of the license pictures that I’ve ever taken have looked like mug shots.
sherendipitys last blog post..Because I’m gross like that.
connie
What a cute license pic! I’m glad I’m not the only one that smiles
Most people I know look like death warmed over for theirs but for some reason, I always smile for mine. Hope you had a great b-day, other than being @ the DMV~you’ll have to post what else you did for your special day 
When I went in last Dec. to renew my license, I opted for the 10-year renewal option~that right there made my wait time completely worth it
connies last blog post..Weekly Winners=October 19-25 2008
Domestic Spaz
That is the best DL picture I’ve seen in a LONG time!
And you totally gave me a blog post idea.
Thanks!
Melizzard
Will you let us know ahead of time before the actual demonstration of musical vibrators? ‘Cause that’s the sort of thing I wouldn’t want to accidentally skip in the feed reader.
Seriously though if Tenn is like Florida that is the picture you’ll be stuck with for the next 20 years. We’ve stopped retaking them here – so in mine I’m forever 30. Sometimes life is good.
Melizzards last blog post..The “Free Taco”
Michelle
I was forced to get mine within a few months of moving here – after a long drama filled visit with the dept of homeland security in the Houston airport because my license was expired which apparently meant I had plutonium in my 1 year old’s diaper. It was 2 hours of hanging out with a 1 year old in the DMV – loads of fun. My husband (who gets to go sans child I might add) still hasn’t done it. His expires in January so he has started making noise about doing it one of these days.
Michelles last blog post..Monday
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
Your DL picture is really cute!
Hope John did something super-nice for you for your birthday!
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..My love affair
Twitter: mommy_wins
Karen
I have been thinking of changing my residency to Arizona from Georgia, but this very thing has stopped me from actually doing it. And my license is good until something like 2015, so i have a loonnng time to decide.
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Miss Britt
OOOOH – your hair is shiny too!
Miss Britts last blog post..Some bloggers are better than others.
perpstu
I hate the DMV! The last time I went in to have my license renewed I thought it was the “odd” renewal – you know the one where you just get the sticker to slap on the back of your existing license – but nooooo. New picture necsessary. Dear God, I had thrown my hair into some fucked up thing resembling a ponytail/bun and barely bothered to slap on mascara.
Worst.DL.picture.Ever. Yours is so much better!
XOXO
perpstus last blog post..I Vant to Suck Your Blood….
Twitter: perpstu
lynette
Well at least you look cute in your DMV pic. I went in to get a new one and they made me take a new pic, which I didn’t know I was gonna have to do…so I’m sunburnt and wearing the most raggedy tank top known to man. Jerks. I hate the DMV. And my license is proof they hate me back.
lynettes last blog post..And this is why I love him
chasingjoy
I may not have time to visit everyday but this is where I always come when I need a laugh. You never fail to provide! Thank you, you Deliriously Mirthful Vixon!
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missy wiggins
Demonstrate Musical Vibrators! Funniest thing I’ve read all day!!!
Happy birthday.
Twitter: molassa
stephanie
Hey, that photo turned out great! Glad you got that done. We wouldn’t want you to go to jail for driving on an expired license. I don’t know if they actually put you in jail for that. But you would probably say something to the cop that would put you in jail….and I don’t think you can blog from there. So….all that to say…congrats on the new license!
Vicky (Secret Mom Thoughts)
Happy birthday. Your new license looks good. Mine expires on Monday and I am also a lazy douche and am not going till then.
Vicky (Secret Mom Thoughts)s last blog post..PIF winnings and new contest
MP
hey, lazy ass.. I have a question for you..or a request. I’d like you to blog about your beautiful name. Lotus..it’s just so floral and asian.. and Siva? WTF is up with that?? Please share.
MPs last blog post..Confessions
Talina
Ha, well at least they didn’t refuse to renew your license because you were blind…
I just went back to the BMV today to take my vision test again after I got glasses, I got my license and man does the photo suck!! You got a really good photo. No fair!
Talinas last blog post..Trying to have a home birth in Evansville, Indiana…
Twitter: TalinaN
A Whole Lot of Nothing
You look like you’re 22 in that pic. Have you been lying to us?
Madness
Oh Oh OH Lotus.. you share the same Birthday as my dad!! WOOHOO! Oh, and .. Madness did the SAME THING .. as in .. let her license run alllll the way to its expiration .. and went to the DMV on her birthday a few weeks ago too! We are one, Lotus, we are one. By the way, AWESOME DL pic! Love it. (Did I mention that I too took a HAWT .. I mean freaking HAWT DL pic this year .. MmmHmmm.. we.are.one. )
Madnesss last blog post..Oh Where oh Where has His Madness Gone? Oh Where oh Where can She be?
Jenny
Gray pubes?? We’re too young for that. I have one white one that grows from my c-section scar. I feel like my own special version of Rogue from X-Men 2. hee hee.
Also, dont feel bad abt the license. I drove around with an expired one for 8 months, got pulled for an expired inspection (BIG shocker there) and got a ticket for the license too. Then, waited until the DAY BEFORE my court date to FINALLY renew that bad boy. So, comparatively, you’re a total over-achiever in my book.
KimH.
cute picture – lucky!
The place I hate worse than the DMV is the post office. Last week some lady wanted to cut in line just to drop off a “mail stop request” and the dork at the counter told her she had to wait in line for an obligatory 10 minutes. She thought he was serious – I kinda did for a minute too – then he tried to sell her property in the everglades. Ooookkkaaaayyyy…..
regina
aaahhhh, what a cute picture!
Happy belated birthday!!
Jennifer
That is THE best DL photo I have ever seen. The TN photographers must be waaaayyyy better than the TX ones.
Jennifers last blog post..About the co-sleeping
Jenny from Mommin' It Up!
Lotus! YOU ARE SO FUNNY! Can’t you PLEASE share a little bit of your funny-ness? dang! I want some. You crack me the heck up girl. AND you take a great driver’s license picture. hmm. I MIGHT have to start hating you.
Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!s last blog post..It is Finished.
Twitter: jennyitup
Junebug
You take a pretty picture.
Junebugs last blog post..Redistribution of Wealth
Eve
I can’t believe you drove on an out-of-state license for two years!!! Dang!!! You must have been driving very carefully so as not to get pulled over. They rather frown on not keeping your license state-current.
Eves last blog post..Birthday Party
Athena
Ug – I need to do this too. My Malaysian drivers license is expired. Just imagine how fun it is to visit the DMV there and then make it all 3rd world dirty and crazy. Yeah, I’m in a major rush to go do it.
Happy Birthday again!
xx
~A
Athenas last blog post..wicked
Karleigh
What a great photo! However, did you forget to mention that the DMV is less than 5 minutes away from your house?
Mary_n_VT
I had to delurk after years….
That license pic is amazing. My license looks like hell..I can’t even describe it. It makes me look 10 years older and 30 pounds heavier. I even have a double chin in it…Too awful for words.
Angela
Honey, I’ve gotcha beat. I moved from Georgia to Florida in May 2006. And until the beginning of October, I still had an ALABAMA license. I moved out of Alabama in May 2003. And I’ll be moving out of Florida (possibly to Tennessee!) in May 2009. lol. I kept my Alabama dual residency until my license expired (for the second time since I moved away) earlier this month. lol
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