I know that Braden
really loves me when he makes
the special effort
to work up a crap
in the middle of the night.
Then he screams for me.
Have you ever crapped
just because you missed someone?
I am so fla-turd.
(insert eye roll here)
On the serious? Stop it, Braden.
you said
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#1 by janelle on July 11, 2008 - 12:15 AM
tee hee hee!!!
janelle’s last blog post..Three Cups of Tea (and another giveaway to visit)
#2 by Rachel on July 11, 2008 - 12:17 AM
Holy Shit Lotus.
(sorry,couldn’t resist)
Did you actually go there? You said Fla-turd?!
i’m so impressed/proud/amused.
Ha ha.
Happy HF.
Rachel’s last blog post..Bright Lights, Late Nights
#3 by Cyndi on July 11, 2008 - 12:32 AM
I rarely comment but still read ya everyday. You so killed me with the “fla-turd” that I spit my lemonade all over the laptop!!!!!! Yet another reason why I love you so
#4 by Maggie's Mind on July 11, 2008 - 12:32 AM
Hahahahahaha, only you, Lotus, would come up with fla-turd. You are awesome and loved much by a little boy.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Haiku (Bike-ku) Friday 7/11/08
#5 by missy wiggins on July 11, 2008 - 12:36 AM
Well that’s how I show people I love them…
missy wiggins’s last blog post..Tales from the dentist: Part 1
#6 by Krista on July 11, 2008 - 12:42 AM
Ah the joys. We don’t get much of those in the middle of the night right now thankfully… let’s hope the cory boy doesn’t learn from Braden!
Krista’s last blog post..Smoke on the Water (and fire in my yard)
#7 by Lisa C. on July 11, 2008 - 1:07 AM
By far the best haiku EVER!!!
#8 by dysfunctional mom on July 11, 2008 - 1:09 AM
OK, the line about have you ever crapped because you missed someone? Nearly made me choke on my chicken.
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ This Is My Life.
#9 by flickrlovr on July 11, 2008 - 1:10 AM
Ditto on the “fla-turd.” Made me giggle. But not for the shitz in the middle of the night. NICE, B.
flickrlovr’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Oh, Jealousy!
#10 by Sandy (Momisodes) on July 11, 2008 - 1:14 AM
Fo shit’zle!
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Reaching
#11 by shannymar on July 11, 2008 - 1:22 AM
At least he didn’t make a pretty finger painting on the walls just for you…don’t think you would have been as fla-turd, then!
shannymar’s last blog post..And now for my grand Re-entry…
#12 by Zoeyjane on July 11, 2008 - 1:43 AM
Just wait until he yells at you to leave him alone so he can crap. That’s TRUE love.
Zoeyjane’s last blog post..Meh, Wah and Yeah!
#13 by Veronica on July 11, 2008 - 4:56 AM
Been there. And I swear Amy does it for an excuse not to fall back asleep.
Veronica’s last blog post..Results
#14 by MizFit on July 11, 2008 - 5:12 AM
laugh out loud.
needed that…..
MizFit’s last blog post..link love.
#15 by Cathy on July 11, 2008 - 6:35 AM
Oh he loves you soooo much!
Cathy’s last blog post..Will We Survive? Haiku Style
#16 by Alisha on July 11, 2008 - 7:05 AM
Hilarious! Great Ku!
#17 by ~JJ! on July 11, 2008 - 7:34 AM
Fla-turd.
Ha.
My very very new favorite word.
~JJ!’s last blog post..Snore ‘Ku
#18 by Secret Agent Mama on July 11, 2008 - 8:05 AM
Best haiku ever!! LOL
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (322/365)
#19 by lceel on July 11, 2008 - 8:11 AM
Ha! Now that’s funny. I wonder what the monologue is, in his mind, when he does that. Let’s see ….
“Mommy. I miss Mommy. What can I do? …. I can’t just yell for no reason – she’ll catch on to that in a hurry – Mommy Lotus is no dummy – let’s check resources … barf? … no, nuthin’ there. Bladder? … nah, that’s empty,too. She got that before we went down. Poop chute? … Ah, there ya go. Now we got some AMMO!” and the rest, of course, you know.
lceel’s last blog post..The Next 100 Words
#20 by Kelley on July 11, 2008 - 9:09 AM
‘I am so fla-turd’
I am so using that. I will do the copyright thing in my head but not out loud though OK? Cause people think I am scary enough as it is.
Kelley’s last blog post..‘Drop in’ at your peril
#21 by Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas on July 11, 2008 - 9:30 AM
OK, that’s just damn funny. (big smile here)
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s last blog post..Wife Swap
#22 by Donna on July 11, 2008 - 9:34 AM
Just wait until there are no more diapers and he’s all potty trained… except for the screaming from the bathroom in the middle of a dinner party or when friends are over… “Mommy, come wipe my butt…”
(true story)
Donna’s last blog post..Time to give me a little TLC
#23 by melissaz on July 11, 2008 - 10:50 AM
Ah yes. True luv. Only from the male of the species.
melissaz’s last blog post..Friday Haiku 7/11/08
#24 by Karen of Sillymonkeez on July 11, 2008 - 11:26 AM
LOL at “fla-turd!”
Karen of Sillymonkeez’s last blog post..Hip Hippo Hooray!
#25 by Manic Mom on July 11, 2008 - 12:09 PM
My little guy must love me tons. How turd-tastic is that!
Manic Mom’s last blog post..Purpose
#26 by Kelly on July 11, 2008 - 12:21 PM
OMG You are hysterical!
Kelly’s last blog post..FFF: Red,White,and Blue
#27 by Condo Blues on July 11, 2008 - 1:54 PM
Does it count if it’s your dog who barks in the middle of the night because he needs to go outside (even though he went outside to potty before the household went to bed) and then takes -forever to find the perfect poo spot in the yard to do his buisiness, epecially if it’s in the middle of the night during a rainstorm?
If that counts, then my dog loves me loads.
Condo Blues’s last blog post..Fabulous Flamingo Front Porch
#28 by Marylin on July 11, 2008 - 3:17 PM
Hehehe that gave me a great wee giggle, thanks!
Night poops are the worst aren’t they? >_<
Marylin’s last blog post..9 Month Haiku.
#29 by MP on July 11, 2008 - 3:21 PM
major eyeroll…groan…and snicker..
MP’s last blog post..De Lurk Dis Weekend
#30 by Cassandra Rae on July 11, 2008 - 4:20 PM
Okay, you are one talented writer….anyone who can turn poo into poetry is top notch in my blogroll!
Cassandra Rae’s last blog post..My TeenView
#31 by Taz on July 11, 2008 - 5:31 PM
heh..
i know where ya coming from..
Maddi does that on the rare occasion.. lol
Taz’s last blog post..How Cute..
#32 by Elizabeth on July 11, 2008 - 7:07 PM
Have you ever loved
Someone so much that you made
Yourself puke in bed?
Gosh Kaitlyn, I know
You miss me when you’re sleeping,
But cut that shit OUT.
love ya, Lotus!
Elizabeth’s last blog post..California Dreamin’-of the BlogHer Anxiety Variety
#33 by A Whole Lot of Nothing on July 11, 2008 - 7:26 PM
It’s a love/hate when I hear, “Maaaaamaaaaaaa!!!! I need you to wipe my buuuuuuutttttt!!!!”
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Peep Show
#34 by Coast Rat on July 11, 2008 - 7:44 PM
HOLY SHIT! That Bowel Movement stuff in the middle of the night is a bunch of Crap! A bunch of manure, I say! Holy Excrement, Batman, watch your step, Human Waste Matter ahead; like maybe a Dump, Defecation in progress! This could get Messy! For me, I’m not going near that boy, I’m scared Shit-less!
Coast Rat’s last blog post..FUN AT THE ‘CRAB FEST’ IN THE BAY!
#35 by Stephanie on July 11, 2008 - 7:49 PM
Oh lovely! Our son does the same thing during naps!
Stephanie’s last blog post..Haiku Friday- Food
#36 by Hockeyman on July 11, 2008 - 8:52 PM
I do it all the time, but the Mrs. gets real pissed off when she rolls over into the steamer. Oh well….someday she will appreciate my flattery.
Hockeyman’s last blog post..Daddy Date Night Thursday
#37 by Mom24 on July 11, 2008 - 10:45 PM
Ahhh that is so ’sweet’ of him. The things we go through for our kids, huh?
Mom24’s last blog post..Help!
#38 by Jennifer on July 12, 2008 - 3:52 PM
Good one! I feel lucky in that my kids aren’t “sleep poopers.”
Jennifer’s last blog post..In Your Face Gymboree
#39 by Rachael on July 14, 2008 - 2:00 AM
OMG, great haikus this week. Or should I say hai-poos?
#40 by Christina on July 14, 2008 - 9:03 PM
Been there. Cordy seems to poop about a half hour after we put her to bed now, meaning we have to do twilight poop changes. No fun.
Christina’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Test Time
#41 by Queen of Shake Shake on July 16, 2008 - 5:33 AM
Funniest Haiku I’ve read in quite a while!
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Does This Outfit Make Me Look Fat?