That’s what they say. Today, I had a first time. And it led me pondering along a time-line of them.
There’s a first time to realize that you can find someone else in the world you love more than you thought was possible, even when they piss you off, and you are willing to be there for them forever.
There’s a first time to realize that you’re ready for something completely different, and brave enough to let it grow.
There’s a first time to realize that you are not the most important person in your own life. And it’s okay with you.
There’s a second time to realize that you can find someone else in the world you love more than you thought was possible, even when they piss you off, and you are willing to be there for them forever.
You’d do anything to take their pain.
Their joy is your joy.
There’s a first time to realize that it’s possible to love the hardest thing you’ve ever done (or will do) more than anything else you’ve ever done (or will do).
There are many times in your life when your heart does flip flops and your chest gets tight…. And it’s good.
There are many times in your life when your heart does flip flops and your chest gets tight…. And it’s bad.
And then there are those times when you find out that those two things can occur simultaneously.
Today, my heart did flip-flops and my chest got tight. And it was good because I am excited about doing something I haven’t done in a long time; I’m excited to travel and have some time to myself.
Today, my heart did flip-flops and my chest got tight. And it was bad, because I left my little boy with someone else for the first time in our lives.
I know it is not a bad thing. I know he is safe, happy, and loved where he is right now. But my heart will do some funky flip flops until I see him again.
This first time smiling at him while I waved goodbye, knowing I would not see him for days was hard. This first time driving away from him on purpose for so long and so far was not easy.
These first tears once he was out of sight were quite effortless.
He is my littlest bff and I’m absolutely ready for our first time saying hello again. I may just kiss all the skin off of his face.
I’m sure when his first tantrum after I return rings in my head with its usual intensity, I’ll have my first time wondering what the hell was so bad about traveling without him. But then we’ll find something to laugh about, have some tickles and make some fart noises. And we’ll get right back to our same old, usual routine of mommy and son.
I can’t wait. Because the well-worn, happy non-firsts that we take for granted together every day are the blessings of my life.
Now, Chicago? Get ready. Thanks to the awesometastic entities you can view at the footer of my website, me and my bewbs are traveling to this conference together this year. And tight chest or not, It’s On.
I wrote a very, very short and moody, desperate and pathetic post a few weeks ago about getting hit upside the heart again by the desire for my lost babies.
It really never goes away. It just hides a little sometimes, lurking; waiting for the right time to shit on your world. Or mine. Guess I can’t really speak for others.
Or yours, maybe, is true, since I’m publishing this crap.
I thought about sharing that post with you now that the bewbs of BEWB Fest 09 have been filed away… because really? Sharing it with you right at the same time as going, “OMG LOOK! IT’S BEWBS!” just didn’t feel right. And everything about bewbs generally feels good, so why ruin that? I mean. Really.
So I thought about sharing it with you now, in all of its deep and philosophical questioning glory (read: whiny and pathetic yearning-filled, demanding inquisitiveness). I thought about making you read trite crap like, “I’m stuck whining the same things, being the same pathetic empty, yearning bag over and over again.”
“When will it get so old that my heart just implodes from feeling the same tortured longing one.more.time?”
And the rest of it, too. But no, I saved it as a text file entitled, “baby nonsense.”
I did make you read part of it, now, didn’t I? Manipulative, emotional arse, I am. But you’ll not have to read that in its entirety.
Instead, please enjoy looking at this cute puppy.
I like puppies.
They are way, way better than fetuses that are ripped out of your uterus.
Of course, then they grow up and pee on your baseboards and shit on the kitchen floor.
I have such a positive outlook.
I could use a few glitter coated unicorns flying out of my ass on rainbows during times like this.
July 12th – 18th
Canon Powershot G9
Not sure what’s going on this time, but the Mr. Linky widgets won’t appear on my site anymore. I’ve had so much trouble with them in recent times that I want to pull my hair out. I don’t really know what to do at this point other than to ask you to leave your links in comments. So sorry for any inconvenience!
Update: Have submitted a help desk and it is being worked on. Hopefully it won’t take long.
FIXED! You can all add your link to the widget at the end of the post now. Thanks for moving me to the new server and solving the problemf or me, Mr. Linky!
To view all my photos, visit my Flickr Photostream
A post with swag. And bewbs. Everyone should really be happy. What more is there?
News from Room 704 and Me:
Not attending Blogher 09, and bummed about it? Blogher@Home is hosting posts and giveaways to keep you entertained and get you in on the fun, even if you can’t attend! Check them out.
Friends of Maddie is kicking off a charity that will support families and babies by raffling a Netbook. Your donation will honor Maddie, help families and babies who need it, and enter you for a chance to win. Trifecta.
Sitting at home, but you still want swag?
Click the appropriate link below, pay flat rate shipping, and get entered to win swag collected for you from fabulous merchants/companies by The Purveyors of Swag (Room 704).
For $10.00, anyone in the USA and Canada can buy a ticket.
For $20.00, everyone else in the WORLD can buy a ticket.
Click to pay your shipping/buy your swag ticket:
One swag ticket = One piece of swag.
Who wins? EVERYONE who has a ticket.
You buy a ticket = You win swag.
We have LOTS of swag. The more tickets sell, the more we show you.
Swag Teaser List so far:
Elf Makeup Sets/Products & Accessories
Jewelry from RBH Designs
Assorted Children’s Books
Reusable Shopping Bags
$50 Crocs Gift Certificates
$50 Monkey Toes Gift Certificate
Nava Atlas’s Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife
Eden Fantasys Bullet Vibe
More to be revealed as tickets sell… so, so much more. Buy your ticket!
Still bummed you’re not attending Blogher 09, even though we’re throwing swag at you?
at least your bewbs aren’t going w/o you. like mine did last year.
If you’re STILL bummed… Dude. I can’t help you.
I mean. Bewbs. ^ At least smile. Sheesh.
And if you’re not attending the conference? Scroll to the bottom – there’s a special message for you there from me.
THE OFFICIAL ROOM 704 PARTY PIMPAGE POST (in its full glory):
DRINKS sponsored by:
And of course, drinks paid for by YOU!!!
AWESOME swag from:
Here’s how it’s going to go down – as best as we can tell anyway. Remember – we’re as transparent as saran wrap. No, we will not model the saran wrap for you.
10:30pm you will begin leaving the awesome People’s Party and making your way to “Java East.” Now, we are not encouraging you to dump another party for ours, NAY, we are encouraging you to make your way to us so the faboo ladies hosting the People’s Party can head on up to us as well, take a sigh of relief, relax, put their feet up and revel in a job well done; a party well thrown.
About the location – “Java East”….. oh Java East. Through a series of … interesting communications we have a very casual layout. We have easy accessibility, we have comfy couches…. we have a section of the first floor lobby. We feel for the people who decided *this* was a great idea, they’ll learn. They should consider themselves fortunate we are not decorating with inflatable penises …. Anyway. We will be very easy to find. Want to see it? Java East/Lobby Level/Sheraton Chicago. When it starts the 360 sweep and you see the fountain, hit pause. There is our area.
Hour One – 10:30pm-11:30pm
About the drinks: The first 200 people to make it to the bar at our party will get a tasty vodka drink on us. No tickets, no bracelets, whatever Hotel pricing for drinks is … WOW. So ask for your drinks without ice, and be sure to say big fat THANK YOUS to sponsors of *all* the parties at BlogHer. If you are potential sponsor reading this who would like to buy a round of drinks? Feel free to reach out to us at contact at room704 dot us. If you are still thirsty after our drinks run out, head to the ChiBar right next to us, get a drink and come back out to the party (yes, we’ve cleared that with the Sheraton big wigs, and yes, you can get “light fare” there too (aka FOOD) FYI).
About the swag: As a great big thank you to those who purchased ads from us — we are putting a sticker on a swag bag with your name on it. One bag per person, so yes, even if you ordered multiple ads/spots, it’s still gonna be one bag. Since we can’t figure out a good way to make sure you get a drink, we’ll make sure you get a swag bag. (We will also be posting the catalog at Room704 so everyone can see the awesome.) The rest of the bags will go out on a first come first served basis. If you would like a “vanilla” bag (i.e., one that doesn’t go “buzz” in the night) – be sure to grab one of the ‘ProtectABed’ bags and not the brown bags
Hour Two – 11:30pm-12:30am
You can continue to get drinks from the ChiBar – and we will begin our giveaways. We have a LOT to giveaway. A LOT. So be sure to drop us your card when you get to the party so you are entered! We plan to have a place set up between the columns in front of the fountains. We’ll be the ones in the purple feather boas.
At some point we will be pimping and honoring our special guests — Stefania Pomponi Butler, a “Very Clever Girl(tm),” aka CityMama, and Michelle Lamar, aka White Trash Mom, who will be selling & signing copies of her book, The White Trash Mom’s Handbook. So don’t forget to bring some cash money for your book (and to buy something from ANOTHER special guest, yet to be announced!).
Last but not least, if you would like the latest in the series of buttons for the party – here it is!
Editor’s Note: And for those of you not attending the Blogher Conference – we have not forgotten you! Blogher@Home has been set up to be chock full of giveaway sand fun times for those NOT attending the conference. And Room 704 (Purveyors of Swag!) has been putting together a very lovely Swag Opp for all the fabulous At Homes! So get in on the fun. Go here and sign up for your chance to win some awesome swag that we’ve rounded up from some amazing sponsors who care about you even if you can’t attend a conference.
Peace, beeshes. <3Lotus
July 5th – 11th
Canon Powershot G9
To view all my photos, visit my Flickr Photostream
Yes, you forget things *cough* occasionally. Your knees are bad (snap, crackle, pop!). You tell Braden it’s time for his bath when it’s time for his nap. You tell him it’s time for his nap when it’s time for his bath. (By the way, he doesn’t even notice – I’m the only one who does. And I’m required to make fun of you for it, so just get used to it.)
Don’t even think about sharing that pudding with him – you know it will go right to your old gut.
Your hair might be thinning… don’t worry, you’re going to get more and more of it in your nose and ears to make up for this. Your back hurts, but I’m here to distract you from that by demanding that you rub mine (and don’t forget my feet)! I am just that loving.
And yes, I might feel the need to make endless jokes about you being old just because you turn 40 today.
It’s because I love you. And I’m glad you’ve been around for this long, and I’m hoping to make fun of how freaking old you are for so very much longer.
You are a wonderful (old ass) daddy and fabulous (decrepit, aging) husband. Hey – look at it this way: When men age, society kindly chooses to say that they are developing a bald head and a fat gut character and charm. Women? Get slow, fat and grow a beard. Maybe don’t worry so much about your aging – it’s mine you might want to start being concerned about. *wink*
Be careful on the road and hobble home as soon as you can. I will miss your old ass from afar for now, you wonderful, old fart.
Happy 40th Birthday!
Your hot, young wife.
Even though we took these photos over a month ago (dude, who keeps letting time move by SO FAST?) I thought I’d share them with you, because they kind of crack me up.
This was a Saturday morning Mac Photo Booth play session with Braden (hence the fabulous photo quality, *snort*). He is both silly and fun as well as intensely moody, whiny, and dramatic.
I really have no idea whose child this is. *wink*
I adore hanging out with him and being silly. He is displaying such a fabulous sense of humor these days, which makes it even more fun.
And by sense of humor, I mean that he is cracking me up by replicating my incorrigible taste for fart jokes, with indelible favorites like:
*the sound of fireworks outside*
Him: “Ooooooh, Farter!”
Me: “No, silly, you know those are fireworks!”
Him: Pause. *giggle* “Oooooooh, FARTER-WORKS!” *raucous laughter*
Gotta love havin’ a little boy. Especially when you are secretly one, too.