So, why the hell is it that there is ALWAYS more to pack than I think there is going to be ahead of time? Ugh. I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off here. Speaking of that – does anyone else say that? I think I picked it up from my parents… who did actually keep and slaughter chickens for food when I was a kid. Which leads me to remember a time when my dad actually chased me around the yard with a chicken-head on a stick. I was about 4. He thought it was hilarious. I? Was terrified. Just another look into what made me into the fine woman I am today!
On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to rant for a minute about something that seriously peeves me. I HATE IT when people in a parking lot sit in their cars behind someone else who is planning on leaving soon. HATE WITH A PASSION. These asshats feel that their inability to drive around and find a different space – one which they may actually have to WALK A BIT from – is reason enough to make the people leaving feel rushed. Not to mention the people trying to use the damn parking lot aisle to drive somewhere else – oh hell no! If you want to go anywhere on that aisle now, you’re just going to have to queue up behind Mr. or Mrs. ASSHAT and wait until they park their lazy, fat ass in their most desired parking spot.
And I’m sorry if you are one of the people in question here, but, seriously, if you do this, look at your head… you are NO DOUBT wearing your ass for a hat.
And this is not because I don’t like helping people – I used to flag down people in the parking lot when I was about to leave work and had parked in a desirable spot. It’s about the huge sense of entitlement and disgusting laziness I see displayed in the people who do this. The only reason I can think of that excuses this behavior is a need to park close because of some type of physical illness/infirmity/handicap. But, most often, when I see them park and get out they are all perky and youthful, and clearly not handicapped.
Not physically, anyway.
#1 by Spoiled Mommy on November 25, 2008 - 6:01 AM
I agree with you!!!
I cant stand that either…another parking lot thing that drives me crazy, is when you stop to let someone walk past and they just mozy along…like bit a little jump in your step…can we not talk all day, walk!!
The chicken thing-too funny you said that because Samantha Who’s episode last night was about that….hahhaaa, too funny…sorry, that I found the humor in it.
Spoiled Mommys last blog post..She’s at it again!
#2 by 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why on November 25, 2008 - 6:40 AM
I call them parking lot vultures. I also like to move rally slow or wave them past like I’m going back in…but I have a mean streak when it comes to asshats.
‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s whys last blog post..Ever Have One of Those Days?
#3 by Angie on November 25, 2008 - 7:30 AM
I don’t move until they give up. If is looks as if they are not going to budge, I get back out of my car like I have forgotten something!
#4 by Chris on November 25, 2008 - 8:19 AM
The only possible exception to asshatedness is on a college campus. If you actually waited for an open spot, you’d never park. Other than that….BRAVO!!!!
Chicken head on a stick…that explains soooooo much.
#5 by lceel on November 25, 2008 - 8:52 AM
If that’s where you are already, wait until Friday. The day after Turkey Day. When everybody and his brother is out there running around like a chicken with its head cut off from store to store looking for this, that and the other bargain.
There will be much aisle sitting and honking of the horns of impatience.
I recommend a Netflix day involving several ‘chick flicks’ and a large vat of hot chocolate. Let the girls out, put your feet up and firmly plant your ass in the most comfortable chair in the house.
lceels last blog post..Back to being me
#6 by Mary on November 25, 2008 - 9:06 AM
My pet peeve is massive generalizations, so I thought I’d comment
Lots of people are entitled for sure; but not everyone who waits for a parking spot is necessarily being lazy.
Also, just because someone looks “perky and youthful” doesn’t mean that they don’t have a legit reason for parking close. They could be picking someone up who might appreciate a short walk, or anticipating needing to come back to the car frequently for some reason. Some people get really tired walking around in a mall. If parking closer buys an extra 15 minutes and you can’t manage more than an hour, why should you have to make multiple trips if that extra time is going to make the difference?
I’m not even going to get into invisible handicaps, but honestly – if you are someone who has trouble getting around but look healthy, it seems to me that you already have enough on your plate without being negatively judged by the rest of the world.
Assuming that the people waiting for your spot are not being rude about it, the fact that you personally feel pressured by them waiting doesn’t mean that they are trying to drive you crazy, nor does it make them “asshats”. Personally, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and just do what I was going to do anyway.
I think the person above who pretends that they weren’t going to leave – even to the point of getting out of the car (!) is the one really in the wrong. I mean seriously – what is that going to accomplish? Even in the cases where the person is just being lazy, all it will do is cause them to keep cruising around.
You end up acting like a dick, it takes you longer to leave your car, they keep idling and probably get a bit more aggressive and the end result is not that they change their behaviour. And in the end, you justify your behaviour by saying that THEY inconvenienced you? Yikes. I hope kids aren’t in the car when you pull this kind of stunt, because instead of teaching them how to be polite and how to share (even with people who don’t always deserve it) you are actually teaching them that the person in possession of a desired resource is entitled to hold on to it simply to “show” the other person that you can’t be pushed around.
So that got more ranty than I intended, but I am so tired of people feeling they are entitled to prevent others from waiting for a parking space that is about to be vacated.
Oh – and fwiw, I rarely wait for a parking space; as someone with a healthy lazy streak I’ll grab the first open space I see because I am too impatient to wait.
#7 by Texan Mama on November 25, 2008 - 9:10 AM
Okay, note to self: if I see a pregnant lady, with rack, also with a noticeable fear of chicken heads, DO NOT BLOCK THE PARKING ROW. Got it.
Also? Am I just too old to be hip? When did everyone start saying asshat? I just say asshole.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Creative Things to do with Poo
#8 by ~Ashley on November 25, 2008 - 9:56 AM
I know exactly what you mean. After I leave class at night, people will slowly drive behind you while you are WALKING. Lots of times, I will walk down the first isle, then cut through and you should see them RACE around to catch me…then I walk a little ways farther, then cut through again….its hilarious to me because I hate it so much.
I am so pissed off by people who do this that I will sit in my car for about 5 mintues doing “stuff” before I pull out and lots of times, the people will actually wait for me. Its rediculous…if they just park a ways out and walk they could have been inside by now.
I’ve also had people drive up to me when I’m walking and say “are you parked close?” and my response is always “yeah, i’m just in the next parking lot across the street” and that gets them out of my ass.
I’m glad to see someone else shares this feeling of hatred for the “asshats” as you call them.
~Ashleys last blog post..And They’re Off
#9 by Colleen - Mommy Always Wins on November 25, 2008 - 10:06 AM
Yeah, I call those people “parking lot vultures”. BAH!
And I remember slaughtering chickens with my aunt & uncle when I was a kid – the dogs would eat the heads while they were still clucking and the bodies would flap around spurting blood everywhere…ah, good times.
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..How to completely trash your house while trying to do something productive
#10 by Rachel on November 25, 2008 - 10:09 AM
I am totally jumping on that rantwagon!
I despise when people do this, especially when two spaces down, there’s an empty space but heaven forbid you walk the extra 10 feet!! GAH!
thankyouhaveaniceday
Rachels last blog post..Mouthwatering Loaded Potato Soup
#11 by tena on November 25, 2008 - 10:17 AM
I say “like a chicken with its head cutt off” but then again I use every goofy cliche known to man!
#12 by Busy Mom on November 25, 2008 - 10:32 AM
You can have a legitimate reason for parking close, but if the space is not empty, or someone is not actively, as in, in motion with reverse lights on, MOVE. ON.
Busy Moms last blog post..Share the LOVE Scavenger Hunt – Stop 1
#13 by Michelle on November 25, 2008 - 10:38 AM
Random rant from me about parking lots – I despise people who feel the need to BACK INTO their space regardless of how many people it inconveniences while they do it. And I also hate when someone sits and waits on me…they see me with 2 small children and a 50 lb double stroller to fold and heave into the car so unless they are going to get out and help me they can damn well wait until I am good and ready to depart from my space.
#14 by Kat on November 25, 2008 - 10:39 AM
I admit I have done this when I thought the person was leaving right away. Especially if the spot is really close and I have three little boys to try and herd through a busy parking lot. Then yes, I’ve done it. But if I realize that person may not be ready to leave right away I move along.
So I guess SOMETIMES I wear my ass for a hat. But only some of the time.
Kats last blog post..WW- Follow Me
#15 by Michelle on November 25, 2008 - 10:42 AM
Another pet peeve – people who leave comments and obviously can’t take things with the humor they were intended.
And I too say chicken with head cut off. Yet I have never actually witnessed said chicken having said head cut off.
Michelles last blog post..The Peanut and the Pill
#16 by Mz. Nesbit on November 25, 2008 - 11:01 AM
that used to bug me too, but then i realized where people got it from. College! following someone and waiting was the only way to get a parking spot! i felt so awful stalking people with my car but i needed a spot! lol
Mz. Nesbits last blog post..Fun Fact Friday
#17 by Suzanne on November 25, 2008 - 11:11 AM
When I was younger, I used to torture them.
I worked in on of the busiest malls in the US. I had to leave work (Gimbel’s) and walk across a huge parking lot to the bank that cashed our checks.
Each payday, a parking lot vulture would see me exit the breezeway and start following me (I did nothing to indicate that I was actually walking to a car). So I’d walk further and further out this huge parking lot, with a car following me.
Sometimes, for sport, I’d cut through the row of cars, effectively making this person think that they lost the cushy, non existent parking space!
Suzannes last blog post..Utterli…SuzanneSez?
#18 by Memarie Lane on November 25, 2008 - 11:18 AM
brad does that in parking lots and it drives me nuts! i make him let me out before he parks so i don’t have to sit there and be the asshole with him.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..The Stuff of Dreams
#19 by Katie Ann on November 25, 2008 - 12:12 PM
Gah, I was walking from my spot (in the boonies of the parking lot) at the mall yesterday, when I saw a couple of parents who had just gotten to their car and were struggling to maneuver a baby and toddler out of a double stroller and into their van. And then just past this was some twenty-something in her SUV lurking, waiting for their spot, though it looked like she was in for quite a wait.
DH also hates people that wait for spots like that, I’ll only do it if I can see that their brake lights are already on, or if they’re actually moving.
#20 by dcokequeen on November 25, 2008 - 12:25 PM
I hate it when people pull their car behind me waiting for me to leave. So when they do, I try to take as long as possible just to piss them off as much as I can. Oh, what’s that? I need to brush my hair and re-do my makeup? Well, this parking spot is the perfect place to do it!! Oh, look at that!! I need to balance my checkbook. Well, I’ll just sit here and take care of that as well! These people tend to get so irritated with me, it’s quite a fun game!
#21 by Rachael on November 25, 2008 - 1:22 PM
I hate the waiters too. Sometimes, I sit in my car for longer just to annoy them.
Rachaels last blog post..Star Wars Like Never Before
#22 by Special K on November 25, 2008 - 1:32 PM
OMG I love you! This is one of the very things I blogged about yesterday! And I recently had a chicken head on a stick only because my neighbor dog decided to gift us with it on the front steps and it was the only way I was picking it up to throw it away!
I didn’t scare any 4 year olds with it though and the nearly 3 year old thought it was “cool!”
He’s so hardcore!
#23 by Claire in CA, USA on November 25, 2008 - 1:59 PM
Ah yes. This is why I rarely go to the mall (or any busy venue) here in *lovely* So Cal. It has gotten so I practically have a stroke while trying to park, and it’s just not worth it. If I do go to the mall, it’s on a weekday, early.
FYI, Southern California is OVERFLOWING with asshats, and not just in parking lots.
#24 by Claire in CA, USA on November 25, 2008 - 2:00 PM
Ah yes. This is why I rarely go to the mall (or any busy venue) here in *lovely* So Cal. It has gotten so I practically have a stroke while trying to park, and it’s just not worth it. If I do go to the mall, it’s on a weekday, early.
FYI, Southern California is OVERFLOWING with asshats, and not just in parking lots. Ick.
Claire in CA, USAs last blog post..Praying for the President-elect
#25 by Claire in CA, USA on November 25, 2008 - 2:00 PM
Oops, sorry for the double (now triple) comment. Duh.
Claire in CA, USAs last blog post..Praying for the President-elect
#26 by jill on November 25, 2008 - 2:29 PM
no matter how prepared i am, it still takes forever to get out of the house with an infant. also agree, hate the parking lot people, especially when they’re behind me, because it makes me nervous like i’m going to back up into them. i’ve literally waited until someone went on before backing up. really pissed them off, but i had things to do while sitting there.
oh and i DO say chicken with their head cut off because my parents used to butcher chickens and i was not quite old enough to know better but found it hysterical that they were still able to run around without a brain, or head. never got CHASED by one on a stick though, that might be a tad bit scarring. but people do find it odd that i found it so funny, but then again, when you grow up knowing animals equal food and that they must die, and not just show up vacuum sealed in a supermarket, then its not quite as tough on you, i dont think.
jills last blog post..Re: the blue jeans post…
#27 by Margot on November 25, 2008 - 3:02 PM
(1) I say the chicken thing ALL the time. And do it a lot too.
(2) I despise those nimrods in the parking lot. But then I despise almost everything driving- and parking-related; the people who park giant SUVs in the compact spaces, the people who suddenly decide to clean their windshield on the freeway and speckle mine with their stoopid wiper-fluid-sprayer-on-steroids, the ones who feel it’s necessary to step on the brakes in order to read a freeway sign…
:ermm: I’m actually considering braving Black Friday in order to get a good deal on a laptop. I’m in big trouble if my road rage is flaring up just sitting here at my desk…
#28 by harmzie on November 25, 2008 - 3:36 PM
(in no particular order: 1) I just started saying “asshat” and I’m very pleased with it. I even used it IRL the other day. Three people gave me ??? looks, but the fellow I used it on said he heard it when he was a kid from his old red-neck dad! What’s old is new again…
(2) I grew up with chickens sans heads flopping around in the (farm) yard. It wasn’t until I was appreciably older that I considered that maybe all the city-folk who also used the expression may not have a hot-clue what they were referring to!
AAANNND (3) I don’t care whether people wait for a parking spot. I’m not hurrying for them (or dragging my butt). Unless they’re blocking the row & I’m trying to get through. Or out. Asshats… (I can even say it in front of my kids! They can’t in front of me. I love the parenting double-standard.)
#29 by big papa on November 25, 2008 - 4:50 PM
Another thing that sucks is people who pass a parking spot and then put their car in reverse once they see someone leaving.
No, buddy, you passed it. It’s mine.
Because my car’s older than yours so if you hit me it’s your loss.
I love my old car.
big papas last blog post..Blood Sausage
#30 by OHmommy on November 25, 2008 - 7:16 PM
LOL. I am sooooooooo one of those people that waits.
There is no way in hell I am walking across the Target parking lot with 3 kids in the midst of a blizzard, like today. I don’t even have enough hands to keep track of whom goes where and what puddle they jump in.
So, I am totally that person that waits and waits behind cars that are ready to leave. Next time I see a sassy pregnant brunette I am soooooooo ducking.
Which. Brings me to the point that they should totally make parking spaces for women w/babies. No? I think so.
OHmommys last blog post..Investing in YOU
#31 by river on November 26, 2008 - 2:54 AM
My first hubby was one of those who didn’t like to walk even one step more than he had to. So he would drive around the parking lot looking or waiting for a spot as close to the shopping entrance as possible. We would get so sick and tired of driving around and around, I once suggested that he let us out and we’d get the shopping done while he kept driving around and he could pick us up again as he passed the entrance. Now, when my daughter goes grocery shopping (or any other kind of shopping) she parks in the any available space, often at the furthest end from the shops and they all walk across the parking lot. She says it saves time and makes it easier to find the car again after as it is sometimes the only car out there in the far corners.
#32 by Tanya on November 26, 2008 - 6:49 AM
I.KNOW.WHAT.YOU.MEAN
I purposely climb into the car and sit and suddenly find a catalogue to read or I need to write an urgent text on my phone. I used to think it was funny until I sat for 20 minutes and lost track of time, then realised that the same person was still sitting and waiting for me…
I also put the car into reverse so the reverse lights are on, then sit there for a minute and turn the car off again.
Or the best one? Walk over to the car with your shopping while someone stalks you all the way there, then put your shopping in the car boot and walk back into the shop. Hilarious!
I’m so evil.
#33 by Tanya on November 26, 2008 - 6:50 AM
P.S I dont EVER do this to old people or parents.
#34 by stephanie on November 26, 2008 - 3:45 PM
I don’t know how that packing thing happens, but it happens to me too. Every. Single. Time. There’s always way more to do before you leave than you’d think. Not sure why.
My parents kept chickens too, when I was really little (under 3). I don’t know if they usually slaughtered them. I do know that one time a rooster came after me, and they slaughtered that sucka.
One more thing: Just ‘cuz someone’s sitting behind you with their blinker on, doesn’t mean you have to rush. I take my sweet time. If they really love my parking spot, they’ll wait for it.
#35 by Jennifer on November 26, 2008 - 10:23 PM
I don’t understand how people have the time to wait for the spot. I’m always in a hurry.
Jennifers last blog post..Losing it
#36 by Mrs. F on November 27, 2008 - 12:45 AM
I used to live in a small town that hosted an annual “Chicken-Choking contest”. I vividly remember being chased around at the age of 7, by a cute boy with a chicken head. Ugh!
Waiting for a parking spot is perfectly acceptable in the college lots where there is not ONE single spot, isn’t it?
Mrs. Fs last blog post..You Are A Boob
#37 by Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus on November 28, 2008 - 1:02 PM
Mary,
The most important thing I think you’re missing here is that I write comedy. While it’s based on my actual thoughts and experiences, I think you’re taking this whole thing just a LITTLE too seriously and letting it bother you. Please don’t let my intended to be humorous posts get you that upset. I think your comment was as long, if not longer, than my post!
Regarding your thoughts, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, as am I, but there is really no reason I can see that makes it okay for someone to hold up everyone else behind them who is also trying to find a parking space. I think that’s the height of selfish behavior, and to me, that’s being an asshat. Part of your comment said “Assuming that the people waiting for your spot are not being rude about it” – and that actually made me laugh because I find the very act rude!
(You wouldn’t do the same thing in other situations, right? In the foodcourt waiting for a table you want for whatever reason? Would you go stand next to someone’s table towards the end of their meal and stare at them until they’re done? I mean, even if they’re not trying to drive you crazy, would that make you feel pressured to hurry up, or annoy you?)
I’ve had people follow me with their car to see where I’m parked when I’m leaving – do you know how unsafe that makes a mother alone with her child feel? Then they sit behind my car while traffic builds up in the parking lot BEHIND them – so those other people can’t get where they’re trying to go either. That is DEFINITELY rude. I don’t have a problem with people trying to find a close parking space, but engaging in behavior that clearly indicates you think you’re more important than others trying to use the same parking lot is selfish and rude. Circle around until someone leaves – you don’t need to sit behind them blocking the area. It’s just plain rude. And yes, I’m irritated by rude behavior – even if the person is blissfully unaware that they are rude, even if they’re not trying to drive me crazy, if they are rude, I am irritated. I suppose that’s a flaw in my own character – that it bothers me. But that’s me, and it’s okay. I don’t make them wait longer, I don’t cuss them out or flip them off, I don’t go back inside. I don’t rant and slam doors, or whatever. That’s what my website it for, see?
That’s how I feel about it. That’s why I wrote the post – and it’s written in my usual style – I’m crass, sarcastic, and my humor is almost always written in an extreme fashion. It’s just entertainment, after all, right?
Lotus:)
#38 by Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus on November 28, 2008 - 1:31 PM
OHMommy,
You bitch! Hahaha!
I always love seeing the “pregnant lady” parking spots at the front of the parking lot at Babies R Us – even when I’m not pregnant, because it’s so nice.
Lotus:)
#39 by Patst on November 28, 2008 - 5:12 PM
I agree about the people who wait, and wait, and wait for a parking space just because they are too lazy to walk a few feet more to get in the store to buy their beer — or whatever.
*Running around like a chicken with your head cut off* is one of my favorite over used experssions. My family also had chickens back in the day and when daddy would ring their necks — popping the head off, the body would run around all crazy like with blood squirting out the top. It was a hilarious sight if not just way scary when one of them was actually chasing you.
Patsts last blog post..Day 28 Haiku Friday
#40 by Christina on December 2, 2008 - 12:07 AM
I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one who likes to sit in their car and screw off when these people are sitting and waiting on me. With groceries and 5 kids to wrangle into the car, do they really think their parking space is my biggest priority?
#41 by Barbara on December 2, 2008 - 4:55 PM
You see, you’re not such a lazy douche bag after all – we took the phrase “running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off” and shortened it to “running around like a headless chicken” because we can’t even be bothered to use the whole phrase!
I do get very irritated by those people in the parking lots. It’s pure selfishness for the most part and it does make you feel very insecure when you’re trying to get two small children to your car while being stalked by someone.
Do you think I’ll be the first person to introduce the term “asshats” to the UK? I’ve never heard it before but am totally planning to use it as part of my day to day vocabulary.
Barbaras last blog post..336/366 – Best Friends