I just won’t shut up about it, I know.
Yup, it’s another long one, folks.
While I was writing this post the other day, my thoughts kept reaching further and expanding and dividing and growing.
I want to take a moment, first, to make sure you all realize that I did not mean to put down working parents at all. What they do is just as much their decision about what is right for them/their families as the choice to stay at home is my decision about what is right for myself, Braden, and John, and I really respect that. Hell, sometimes it’s not even their “choice” so much as they just have to do it. What I really wanted to get across in that post was the point that I wish we could sing Kumbaya and just support one another as parents, no matter what the shape of our lives is (or even WHY our lives are that particular shape).
I saw this point made excellently by Miss Britt’s Mother when she said,
“Having been both, I can tell you that SAHM’s suffer pangs of guilt and envy – whether they admit or not – because they’re not “contributing” financially to their families and their lives are “boring” – while working moms experience the agonies of the damned because they “don’t spend enough time” with their kids or “put their kids first”.
What would be better would be for PARENTS to have more compassion for each other, and respect for each other’s decisions for what works in THEIR lives, without justifying those decisions, without bashing the decisions of others.”
(By the way, I just found Miss Britt’s site recently, and if you haven’t read her yet, you really should – she is damn delightful – funny, intelligent, well-written, and real.)
When I read the above quote, I felt like I was nodding my proverbial head so freakin’ hard that it was going to fall off and roll across the room. Because it strikes to the heart of the matter about us all picking and bitching about one another’s choices.
That being said, I wanted to expand on something that hit my brain while I was writing that other post.
In talking about how I may discuss “Mommy” things endlessly here, and kind of defending that, I was also talking about how I am not “just” a mommy. But I started thinking about the women out there who really do define themselves as Moms first and foremost, and care about little else. And I was wondering, why, exactly, do we demonize them for that?
For the record, I do think it is very healthy to have interests in your life that do not involve your spouse or your children. My amateur photography is such a thing for me, and while I definitely take photos of my kid and hubby, it’s not really about them, and I take tons of other photos. And while I post on my website primarily about my family (but not exclusively) the exercise of writing all of this is really for me. (With the added benefit of it all becoming a catalogue of our lives.) I also write poetry and prose in my free time (hahaha, free time, I know) but I don’t share those things, generally. Just a creative outlet. It’s nice to have hobbies and activities that you enjoy to engage in. I feel that it is energizing and fulfilling to leave your house without your children or husband occasionally and do things that you enjoy.
BUT.
I see/hear people refer to women who are “mothers and nothing else” occassionally. And it’s a completely negative tone they are taking when they make that reference. These types of statements usually lead to a stream of insults of those women, and their decisions - complete, judgemental BS about what these people have chosen to do with their lives.
To illustrate why I find this ridiculous, would you say, “She’s just a lawyer. She is totally obsessed with being a really good one, and she doesn’t make time for anything else. Isn’t that just sick?” Probably not. Being a lawyer is something we accept as having an occupation one should be driven to completely master and immerse oneself in. Being a Mommy is often looked at as just this thing we do to keep the species alive (anyone can pop out offspring, right?). Don’t you dare consider it something you must master and immerse yourself in! That’s just sick!
I wanted to say that if there are women out there who choose to identify completely with being a mother, and that is the life that they feel happy living (I think that part is key here), who are any of us to judge them as not having a “real identity?” Mommies who spend “too much” time thinking about their children are just missing out on being well-rounded women, no? They must have it all wrong because they are not living the same lives as others, right? How completely ignorant is that way of thinking, would you say?
If there are women who feel they were born to be “Mommies,” and consequently throw themselves into fulfilling that destiny passionately and completely, do we think they are wasting their time? Do we label them a shell of a person? When their kids grow up, they won’t know what to do with themselves, right?
You wouldn’t say that if I replaced the word “Mommies” with “Teachers,” “Doctors,” or “Chefs.” But, um, these would all retire at some point, too, and have to “figure out what to do with themselves,” right? What’s the difference really, other than monetary payoff?
When a Teacher, Doctor, or Chef retires, we typcially think of them as having time to themselves to pursue some other activity that they may have always wanted to pursue, right? Maybe they travel, learn to play the tuba, or take a pottery class. Whatever. We don’t typically think of them fretting and becoming a complete wreck of a person because all their students, patients, or patrons are “gone.”
When a Mother’s children leave the nest, she may well say, “Well, that station in my life has ended, and I did a damn good job! I am fackin’ proud of what I accomplished, and while I may, at times, miss actively being a Mommy, I have so many excellent memories. Now, I’m going to insert new interest, goal, achievement, desire, hobby, or life’s dream.”
Besides, there are always grandkids, right? And that’s where the real fun starts, isn’t it, ladies? 
So, how about we drink up a dose of respecting the choices others make, even if they’re not the right ones for us? I know I’ve had to do that plenty of times in my life – and, like real medicine, it doesn’t always taste so great, but it will do you good.
We all have the capacity to adapt – to grow and change. Let’s all remember that.
62 comments
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Kay
Damn, I’m not even a mom (yet, God willing) and I still agree whole-heartedly with you! It especially irks me when I say that I’d like to stay home with my kids, if I can. I went to a women’s college and all I heard was how ungrateful I was for the plights of our feminists leaders. HELLO, weren’t they fighting for the chance to CHOOSE??? Anyway, keep up the good work Lotus flower, proud to be one of your readers that actually has been blessed with knowing you, in the flesh (ok that sounded like I knew you biblically, and for the record, I DO NOT.) Although my sister says your feet taste nice. Wow, it’s too late and this is probably completely incoherent. But I refuse to proofread- damn the man!
Connie
I agree 100%~you said it very well
Connie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners~April 6th-12th
the planet of janet
well said, lotus.
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Twitter: planetofjanet
Gabriel
Excellent post, Lotus. I’m amazed that some people can still question things like these…because you’re reacting to those questions, right?
My wife has gone through periods in which she can’t see how much she’s contributing to the family. Of course, the kids don’t help when they say things like “once Florencia turns six and goes to school full day, you will be able to find a REAL job, Mom!”
She’s frustrated sometimes because she worked her entire life and became a SAHM only when we came to Canada. Still, the only reason why we can live the way we do is all the stuff she does (and puts up with).
My wife is a hero. She manages the house, our finances, raises the kids (sometimes, like this week, all by herself), makes some money with her cakes and other dishes and even has time to spend with me every night, when I can’t understand how come she passes out 10 minutes into the show we’re trying to watch.
Gabriel’s last blog post..Where were you? #02
Veronica
Excellently said!
Veronica’s last blog post..Our Wildlife
Suzanne
Very well put! I’ve been both, and each one brings it’s own baggage along for the ride.
Suzanne’s last blog post..Me Me Me Meeeeeeee
Kelley
I would love nothing more than to be a stay at home mum. Alas that is not possible right now. Thankfully I work part time so I get the best and the worst of both worlds!
Kelley’s last blog post..A bit of housekeeping. Or not. But a whole lotta blogrolling.
river
Total agreement from me here.
MizFit
so well said.
to hear it as SO NOT ABOUT ME when people denigrate my lifechoices (from tattoos to mothering).
and I always choose
to see it as stemming from their insecurity about the decisions theyve made.
Im prolly wrong about the whole thing half the time but it makes my weary ass feel better.
MizFit’s last blog post..Tues Tip.
Marylin
I love being a SAHM, I love watching my kids growing up and not missing out. I would love nothing more than to be able to do this until they’re both in the double digits, if we were able to afford it. Only time will tell I suppose!
I also envy part-time and full-time mothers with the adult interaction they are able to get every day – something I do lack and miss. I am amazed at how well a working mommy can find time to do all the kid and house stuff AND hold down a full time job, I don’t think I’d be able to hack that!
I know I’m lucky to be able to stay at home, I feel like when I had my boys I found my calling… I realised what I was put here to do if that makes sense? I definitely don’t look down on those who work, and I know my friends who are in that position don’t look down on me for being a SAHM. If only every parent were the same…
Marylin’s last blog post..Nothing to say…
Sue
You’ve made a lot of excellent points. And got me thinking. Thank you!
Sue’s last blog post..Message In a Bottle
Jacki
As a SAHM who is looking to back to work after four years, I totally agree with you. I’v enjoyed being a SAHM but now it is time for me to go back to work. I miss it. And I really hate it when other mothers make me feel bad for wanting to.
I think there is a total double standard when it comes to men and women. No matter what, women are defined by their children. Like when you read an article about the top 10 CEO’s or whatever, the first thing you’ll read about the women is how many children they have. Then men, not one thing about their children.
Jacki’s last blog post..Tickle Me Tuesday
Kittilicious
Makes a whole lot of sense to me
Well said *applause*
Kittilicious’s last blog post..Manic Monday – another first! *BUD*
Malia
Amen!
Malia’s last blog post..Monday Morning
ALISON
Wow, I never thought that you were in any way knocking working moms- work out of the home moms. I’ve been both, SAHM and WOHM. I’m currently a WOHM and I do it because I have it and partially because I want to. I really agree with what you said, if you are happy with the choice you have made and you have made it freely than why do we feel the need to judge?
You make excellent points and I think it might be more about jealousy and envy. Before I was a SAHM I used to get snippy about it, about the moms who were home all day. Then I got to be one. It’s not for me but I felt like it should have been and I was a little jealous- so I lashed out. I’m a teacher so I get the best of both worlds- I get to be the SAHM during the vacations and summers and then I get to go back to work.
We need to respect the choices that we’ve each made and realize that if others are happy with their choices, that’s all that matters.
Great words!
ALISON’s last blog post..Positive Living
Miss Britt
I had to go back and click the link because I was thinking “what? she insulted working moms? I don’t remember that!”
And, um, no. I still didn’t get that from what you wrote. At. All.
I think you make a good point that we should all just shut up and live and let live and all.
But.. then… what would we talk about?
Miss Britt’s last blog post..In Which I Become The Envy Of The Blogosphere
Russ
Well said, but don’t forget that there are a handful of SAHDs as well. You want to talk about getting looks!
Russ’s last blog post..I have a weird son, by Russ
Kitty
Kudos Lotus!
HRH
Amen sister.
I love that we have choices in this country to do almost anything. EVEN JUST BEING A MOM. I just get annoyed by some that then need further qualifications from me. I have them, but it is non of their damn business. I never ask a lawyer for more credentials or a doctor…
I think you struck a nerve–ha!
HRH’s last blog post..When minivans attack (part II)…
Jeanette
From the perspective of a person who has grown children: I was both a SAHM and a working mom at different times and if I could go back and do it over I would do anything possible to be a full-time SAHM. Especially when the kids get older and involved in sports and school stuff it is so much easier if you don’t have to deal with time off work and stuff. I wish I would have had a home business or something that I could still be doing now!
Jeanette’s last blog post..All and Nothing
Beck
Beautifully written.
I do define myself – before anything else – as being a mother. It is the main thing in my life, what I am good at and what I love doing. My children are my passion, and I love the work of childhood. This does not mean that I plan on vanishing into sad greyness when they grow up, however.
Beck’s last blog post..My Kitchen Party Post Is Up!
Michael Silence
We’ll, you’ve done it now. You showed up on my radar and I just had to add you to my Bloglines. I’m reporting you to BusyMom.
Carry on.
Nanna
Ah my young friend, there is NOTHING more important – or harder – than raising good, resposible, compassionate people to take over the world from us.
The interesting question I always come up with is WHY we – especially as women – feel the need to criticize each other over this. Very very weird. I guess we aren’t comfortable with that our “roles” are supposed to be. But why isn’t it EVERYONE’S job to raise wonderful little people?
Oops – sorry – off my soap box now. I think you are wonderful
Nanna’s last blog post..The Hell With Cars!
MP
You should never say “just a mom”..never. Amen
MP’s last blog post..Why can’t everyone be normal??
justmylife
Well said. I completely agree with you. I am at both ends of the spectrum. Motherhood ending with 2 of my kids and continuing with 1 of them. It is sad to see them grow up and leave me, but I see that I did a great job for the most part in raising them. I have other interest in my life, but my children always come first, well, mostly, I don’t regret one moment I spent raising them. I am a mom and I always will be, even when I am older and grayer. I would never look down on someone for working and leaving their children with sitters, why must people look down on me because I chose to stay home with my children. I agree it is time to grow and change, be more open to other’s ideas of happiness.
justmylife’s last blog post..Another day, another rant.
SherE1
I am a working mom but have a lot of friends who are both working and stay-at-home moms (and DADS, too). I think it’s hard work, no matter what, and I agree wholeheartedly with Ms. Britt’s Mother’s point. I actually think it’s HARDER to be a SAHM/SAHD, just from the time I spent home on maternity leave. I was definitely missing the two 15 minute breaks and hour lunch that I usually got at work. And just because I was home the house was supposed to be clean, food cooked, errands run and laundry done – seriously? The kids were lucky if they got fed on time, let alone that other stuff! And talk about cabin fever in the winter when it’s too cold to take the infant out! Oh, much respect to the SAHM/SAHD. Much respect.
I DO experience that guilt of feeling like I don’t spend enough time with the kids. I sometimes wish I could be a SAHM because the kids will only be young once and I hate missing all the “firsts” when I’m at work. Unfortunately, we need both incomes so I’ve just learned to accept it because it IS what’s best for our family.
Parenting is hard no matter how you do it but as long as our children are growing up in a safe and loving environment, I think that’s all that matters. We just do the best we can.
SherE1′s last blog post..This is why, this is why I’m HOT (hot)!
Maria
I agree and disagree.
Maybe because I’ve said many of things that you disparaged. LOL.
I don’t read many ‘mommy blogs’. They bore me. I have my own kids to ooh and ahh over. To me, it’s about the person.
Ie. You. Redneck Mommy. Girl Gone Child. Oh Mommy. All of your blogs may center around your kids, but you manage to pull me in and make me interested in what’s going on. Most mommy bloggers don’t.
Maria’s last blog post..Move Bitch!
Megan
It’s all part of the self-loathing we do. We hate ourselves for working. We hate ourselves for staying home. We’re too fat, too thin, too boring. NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US!
Megan’s last blog post..No secrets here
Kelsi
Well said Lotus!
Kelsi’s last blog post..Letter to Jack
skiplovey
The “just” part is so true. One would never say “oh she’s just a doctor or just a lawyer”. You’re so right about that. I think many people, especially moms working, recognize how hard it is to be a SAHM, just like SAHM recognize how hard it is to be a working mom.
Respect, the name of the game.
skiplovey’s last blog post..Top 10 things I’d like to do with my tax refund
Law Student Hot Mama
Hmm . . . as a law student, I’d have to disagree that people wouldn’t criticize somebody for just being a lawyer and nothing else and throwing themselves into it wholeheartedly. I’ve worked at lots of Big Law Firms, and there, partners are frequently demonized for being JUST lawyers and having nothing else to do. As in, “If she had a life with a husband and some kids, then she wouldn’t ride us like a beaten mule so hard about getting our work done.”
I think it’s more an issue that women are expected to have a balance and juggle it all. We’re supposed to be mothers and simultaneously supposed to work. And yet we’re criticized if we do both or neither. I think it’s just a “can’t win” situation more than anything else.
Anyway, I respectfully disagree that women are not criticized for being JUST their profession. I know for a fact that they are.
Law Student Hot Mama’s last blog post..Totally Incensed Tuesday: 7th T.I.T. = California
mud mama
Oh this is a WONDERFUL post!!!
On the political side – WHY ISN’T THE S.S. SYSTEM recognizing that SAHM are doing a job and one that needs to be recognized as having been such when we reach retirement age and are going to need a pension?
There’s an attitude out there that SAHMs are economically privileged. Well no, we go without a lot of things because we feel this is important. If I was working we’d be firmly middle class (my partner is a teacher), but the reality is that we aren’t. I’m not bitching about our situation, I just wish that we weren’t looking at being penalized for choosing this JOB when we hit 65. Due to the gap between our kids I will have had a preschooler in the house from the ages of 24-44. I’ll never be able to make that up in CPP payments by the time I’m 65.
mud mama’s last blog post..Since Spring decided to push out Winter yesterday…
Melissa
You are absolutely right. Well said.
Melissa’s last blog post..Binoculars
Kay
I come from both sides of the coin. SAHM and Working Mom and I never heard anything negative either way until I got into the world of internet and message boards.
SAHM are not having the time of their life, working Moms usually WANT to be SAHM. It is always greener…blah blah.
Fact is most working Moms HAVE too and same for SAHM. Have you seen the prices of daycare and gas? More than one child and you better have a degree and/or make some big money to be able to “afford” to work. ( been there too).
Maybe I live in Niceville, I don’t know but it just seems to me that people have no business judging other peoples lives when it doesn’t affect their own or society.
Just sayin’.
Kay’s last blog post..Good news and bad news
Memarie Lane
No matter what a person “does,” if they’re a doctor or a teacher or a grocer, if they make they’re life 100% about that thing I find that very sad. In your example about the lawyer, I was thinking, “well actually, that’s exactly what I’d be thinking about that person!”
I used to think I’d be the kind of mom that was that involved with motherhood. And I was like that for the first two years. But I was depressed that entire time, and I realized it was because I was denying who I am and sacrificing every other aspect of my life, and that such sacrifice was completely unnecessary. I’m still a SAHM, and I’m dedicated to my kids, but I also am careful to retain my own identity. I can’t be happy otherwise.
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Hot Dog on a Schtick
Nikki
Another excellent post!
Nikki’s last blog post..Farm Babies
Lou Lohman
There is no such thing as ‘just a mommy’. There is no higher aspiration, in my mind. The only thing that comes close is to aspire to be a teacher. Be that as it may, the one indispensable thing in anyone’s life is a mother – for without a mother, there is no you, me or anyone else.
Lou Lohman’s last blog post..The Baths at Bath
Twitter: lceel
Maggie
I can tell you right now that if my miracle ever happens so that I can be a mom, that’s exactly the thing I’ll be, a mom, all the way, without reservation, without apology, without giving a flying rats patootie about what any other person has to say about it. Kids get one mom. One. ONE. Ever. Just one. I’d be keeping that in mind as I was shaping the other parts of my life.
Maggie’s last blog post..Free Advice
Eve
Great rant. Full of insight and wisdom. And I say that because you agree completely with my own point of view. I have done both – working mother and stay-at-home mother. My choice is to stay at home. But then, that is the ‘career’ I prepared for all my life. To teach and train, to make birthday cakes and dresses, and to generally take care of my husband and my children. That is what makes me feel fulfilled. But I also enjoy the work force – being paid for my efforts and getting those pats on the back that good bosses pass out freely.
Eve’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Tuesday Edition
Brianne H.
You crack me up! And I love your photos, by the way!! So glad I found your blog.
Brianne H.’s last blog post..[ -March for Babies is coming- ]
Shannymar
I TOTALLY agree with you. No woman should be thought badly upon for their lives choices. That’s what life is about, choices. I often times feel guilty for having hobbies outside of my caring for my children. I feel like my children should be my one and only priorty. But when they go to bed, what does that leave me with? That’s why I have photography and my blog!
Shannymar’s last blog post..Spring Operaton Weight Off
Tara R
preach it sister!
Tara R’s last blog post..Tagged by Dlyn
Jennifer A
I think there is always more to someone that just a mom/dad, no matter if you work outside of the home or not. For people to think that is all there is to life really do not know.
Jennifer A’s last blog post..I guess I’m not winning the Britney Spears Parent of the Year Award
Kecia
well said, the humans on this planet would get along much better if they minded their own bees wax! Live and let live I say…thanks for the reminder Lotus
Kecia’s last blog post..I’m going to jail
Ree
Absolutely! As a working mom (albeit with a stay-at-home-dad keeping the laundry done and getting dinner on the table), I know that my family’s decisions are not like all others. In fact, I would say, this is one place in my life where I am in the minority.
But I would never, ever, judge another’s choice of what is right for them.
Ree’s last blog post..Untitled. It’s The Vodka Talking.
SusanB
Excellent post. I see so much judginess going on in the world of mom-to-mom interactions, and it makes me so sad…actually, I think I’m guilty of judging the judging, so to speak!
But I try to remember that a lot of that judgment might go away if women had more choices–for example, if working part-time was a viable option for someone like me who has a college degree. Or if work-from-home was more widely available in my field. Or if I could bring my child to work with me when he was an infant and then maybe have on-site daycare. I wish I could job share with someone or something, have some benefits, get my time away from the house and The Boy, feel that sense of accomplishment from an “outside” job that you never get with a child because your work is NEVER DONE…but I just can’t do that with the job choices that are out there for me. WE NEED MORE CHOICES!
(I know these choices exist in some places. But not nearly enough. For most women in America today, it’s not yet realistic to expect these options. Just sayin’.)
Thanks again for eloquently expressing something that is often on my mind. Kudos!!
SusanB’s last blog post..Key-Wrap!
Angeline
Absolutely! Agree 100%! Great post!
Angeline’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Weidong!
Beth - Total Mom Haircut
Absolutely. I think a lot of the negative stereotyping about stay at home moms who are “only moms” comes from the fact that it was not so long ago that women couldn’t really be in the workplace. Once that became a possibility it was like women who chose not to utilize our newfound freedom were looked down upon because they weren’t “taking advantage” of what had been accomplished. Unfortunately, instead of everyone celebrating that we can CHOOSE, it still happens, and women who choose to have mothering be their life’s work are looked down upon.
Great post.
Beth – Total Mom Haircut’s last blog post..Innocent Bystander
A Whole Lot of Nothing
Brava!
Brava!!
Brava!!!
What she said.
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Wordless – Oddities: 4.16.8
Sadie
Just like last time, I agree with you 100%. ‘Nuff said
Sadie’s last blog post..Updates – Round 2
Twitter: sadiecass
bits & pieces
Amen!
Kudos to you for saying what needed to be said.
bits & pieces’s last blog post..I Need a Sick Day
Kay
Being a grandma is the best. Even when you have to step in and help your son raise them as I am right now. I wasn’t ready for empty nest and now I am thinking “maybe I was!!” LOL
My “baby” is leaving for the Marines in a week, if I didn’t have his little ones I think I would lose my mind. I guess I am a new breed, the SAHN (stay at home Nana)
I like my title very much thank you and it is noones business but my own!
Kay’s last blog post..First off I apologize for the early 90′s look
Redneck Mommy
I have been both a working mom and a stay at home mom.
Both were hellish.
Both had their own rewards.
Great post darlin.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Tanis Tours Toronto
Twitter: talesfromtyahoo.ca
Tanya
What a fantastic post!
This is very relelvant, I am starting to get to the stage now where I really don’t know whether to become a SAHM or working mum. I really could do both. I just don’t know. I’m at Uni at the moment, so when I start work I will be at the age where I want to start having a family. But it’s nice to know that you have risen the issue of criticism of both sides. It made me feel that I can do either……
Thankyou xxxxxx
(I’ve decided so far that part time work, 2 days a week could be a good balance for me.)
Mrs. F
This is such an excellent post!!!!!!!
Mrs. F’s last blog post..Oh, How Comforting…Not.
Jamie
Awesome post. People are so much more than “parents’ or sisters or brothers or daughters or sons or husbands or wives.
I think we all make decisions based on what is best for our families, too. There is so much more to delve deeper into the reasons we work outside the home or not, etc. We are on my health insurance at my company and that is a big reason why I continue working. Also, my company has been awesome and supportive about me working from home quite a bit.
Any way, it’s all about balance and I know for myself as a mother it’s a constant struggle to feel like I am finding time for myself, and being the best mom/wife I can be.
Preach it sistah!
ByrningBunny
You go girl!
ByrningBunny’s last blog post..Twenty things
cyndy
Excellent post! I too have been both a SAHM and a working mom, and it’s hard both ways. And it’s true……there’s always Mother Guilt, no matter what you do!
cyndy’s last blog post..Get Moving Monday!
Elaine
MIss Britt has got it so right, as do you.
Elaine’s last blog post..Spring Pickin’
Angela
Well as a more than full time working mom, I couldn’t appreciate this post more. Especially since I’ve recently resigned from my position to become an independent consultant….and I’m now realizing that I do feel guilty. I absolutely do. I get it. Totally.
Angela’s last blog post..Oh Yeah and Another Thing
Kat
I definitely chose my current “mom” job. I’m lucky that we don’t need my income, and I also know that I make life a lot easier and more fun for my hubby. If I wasn’t here doing what I do, he couldn’t do as well at what he does. (Plus he’d spend a fortune on restaurants, laundry, and overdraft fees!)
We both agreed when we got married that we personally thought it was best for kids to be with their parents until they’re old enough for school. I’d love to homeschool, but that depends on the kids and what they want.
I completely respect my friends who are working moms, and sometimes I’m jealous! But I know they are also often jealous of us. Its just a choice to work… and like you said, sometimes (often, I find) its a necessity.
Though it is amazing to me that anyone would look down on a SAHM. I have an education, I’ve been a professional artist, a realtor, a CEO, a business owner… among other things, and I’ve never been as happy or as proud of myself in any of those jobs as I am in this job, as Colin’s mom. But that’s me.
jen fos - top banana
This is so dead on accurate. I have seen both sides of this coin and they both hurt. And they are both wonderful. When women stop and think about this dilemna, they are compassionate, however the grind of daily life often lets snide comments about others fly from our bitchy mouths. I must confess to slippinng about SAH moms when I was a “working mama” and visa versa. I just don’t understand why we focus in on each other like this. Is it some underlying unconscious desire to be what we are not? Is it a trained response from the image of motherhood thrown at us from the media? If we could all get along and direct our energies toward solving problems, just imagine what we could do.
jen fos – top banana’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Lazy Mom Costumes for Career Day