Future Self. #reverb10

Day 21 – Future Self.

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?
Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?
(Prompt Author: Jenny Blake)

~~~

Dear Year 2011 Lotus:

I have this writing prompt, and I’m supposed to write you a letter from the past giving you advice, after I think about us five yeas from now. This is all kind of weird, because I have no idea what we will be like in five years.

I kind of don’t want to know… isn’t the fun in the journey? And what good does it do to know the end before the actions? It seems more important to take action without knowing the exact outcome; let’s just travel the path, you know?

Maybe this is part of my problem, though. I think this might be an insight into my poor planning and life goal issues. You think? Nah, me either.

Anyway, you are only about 11 days away from already BEING. Writing you a letter with advice is WEIRD.

But I’m a good sport, you know? (You totally know.) So I sat here and daydreamed for a little while about our flying car and the robot who will obviously be cleaning our house. (Isn’t that what happens in the future?) Basically, I just had my head in the clouds about us having our head in the clouds.

So I guess what I want to tell you is that you probably only have, like, 4 more yeas of boring road driving left before you take to the air in 2015.

Wait. Technically you are in the future, too, aren’t you? Whoa. Wait, WAIT. That means in 11 days (when you will be born) FLYING CARS WILL BE AVAILABLE.

I am so excited I could shit.

See you soon! I hope you know how to fly a car.

Love,
Lotus 2010 (squee! omg so excited!)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Year 2011 Lotus,

Crap. I just re-read the prompt and it totally didn’t tell me to write you a letter at all. It told me to give MY CURRENT SELF advice about the year ahead.

Please burn the previous letter I sent you. And have fun in your flying car without me.

Asshole.

(You could have written me a letter to the past and invited me for a ride in your damn fancy flying car. Don’t worry, I know why you didn’t. It still hurts.)

Love,
Highly Disappointed Year 2010 Lotus

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Year 2000 Lotus:

I just got this writing assignment where I’m supposed to draft a letter to you. (Yes, writing assignments. Still.) But I know better. I’ve seen too many movies and shows that outilne, detail, and show explicit examples of the folly of talking to anyone from the past, especially oneself! I am thinking, perhaps, that the author of this prompt is unaware of the DANGER that lies in constructing notes to the past, or having any contact with it at all, and that makes me sad.

Somebody hasn’t seen Back to the Future.

For shame.

So, basically, I refuse to tell you anything, but don’t worry. Everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to. And you will become the you that is me now. (Duh.) Which really isn’t so bad, anyway.

There are hurts to come, sure. But isn’t that, well, life? And all the good and the bad have had equal hand in making you the you that is me, and the one that will be us later, too.

I’m going with the idea that it’s going to be okay in the end. Remember all the pretty and ugly things come together to make the what is, and we can’t do much better than just appreciating that fabulous dichotomy.

PS: It’s better to look to the future anyway. I hear cars will fly there. (Shit, forget I said that!)

Love,
Lotus 2010

~~~~~~~~~~

Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to
reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.
Use the end of your year as an opportunity to
reflect on what’s happened, and to send out
reverberations for the year ahead.

~~~

Haiku Assvice.

Scraping the barrel
like never before these days.
Weak, and yes, ashamed.

I know it takes time.
Am no stranger to symptoms;
it is depression.

From this low vantage
I can look up and see those
who are still moving.

Hear what they say, watch
what they do, and be amazed
at what’s important.

Be amazed at what
some find worthy of energy.
Anger. Ugliness.

It is so easy
to become ensnared in that.
Don’t let it happen.

With experience
comes perspective, and when it’s
shared, take what you can.

Try not to jump so
quickly to offense, anger…
do you benefit?

It is not easy
to step back and remain calm
with little practice.

I say this because
I know. I’m quick to anger,
easily annoyed.

And so often quite
the righteous rebel. And what
have I gained from this?

Drama is pointless.
Time passes by and I am
wasting my focus.

Have always found it
easy to see negatives.
Overlook the good.

Life is rich, complex.
Try to remind yourselves of
of this and do your best

to just ignore the
insignificant bumps and
enjoy all the rest.

I Wonder… best and worst advice you’ve ever received?

In my post last Thursday I shared an email from a friend about remembering to be grateful for the blessings we have in our lives. I do try to practice that on a regular basis – likely, you can see how well I notice the beauty around me in the photographs I have shared with you. Sometimes, though, I get very emotional and wrapped up in myself, worrying about finding a happiness I haven’t even got a definition for – chasing after something imagined that I think I’m supposed to be able to close my hands around to make everything better. In chasing that mentally, I can lose sight of blessings in my immediate view. This is (I believe) what Jenny was warning against. Her email was a reminder not to chase after that imagined thing, but to revel in the beauty your life already holds.

In a past email Jenny sent, she also mentioned that the best thing she did to help her heal was to let herself feel all the emotions that resulted from the heartbreak of her miscarriages. I think that’s important to mention, too. And this applies to any kind of heartache or grief, any emotionally tumultuous experience you might have. I think tempering yourself between these pieces of advice – fully experiencing the pain while still remembering your blessings – is the best place to be.

We can’t push down the painful feelings and just wash, rinse, and repeat the “be grateful for what you have, be grateful for what you have” to ourselves over and over again, as if validating the painful emotions would be a sign that we’re not grateful for what we have. (I know that Jenny understands that, because she shared with me that allowing herself to experience those emotions fully was the only way she’d be sure she would actually really heal in the long run.) But I wanted to make the point here, too. Because I think allowing yourself to be in pain when you are in pain is just as important to remember as consciously taking note of your blessings and being grateful for what you have.

Obviously, I feel that these are good pieces of advice – some of it is Jenny’s (that I agree with) and some of it is my own. And I clearly wouldn’t pass it on to you if I didn’t think it would do someone some good.

So, for today’s installment of “I Wonder…”

What’s the best piece of unsolicited advice you’ve ever gotten?

What’s the worst piece of unsolicited advice you’ve ever gotten?

Age of Aquarius

Hey there, remember me? I’m Dawn from Alex Year Two.

No?

Let me remind you:

Riiight. Now you remember them me.

I am in desperate need of your help. It’s vital people. VITAL.

It’s even more important than (then?) when I asked for advice about what color to paint my toenails.

This is about hair.

Once upon a time, I was featured on Hair Thursday. (You’ll have to click over for this – kinda like a scavenger hunt – I’m on the bottom.)

Now the beautiful Sarah gave me great advice, then my life blew up and I am just now ready to tackle this here hair situation.

Kicked in the ass by this photo taken by my husband, Scout.

 

I’ve worked on taking better care of it so it looks less frizzola.

(hotel wallpaper – NOT my own bathroom.)

 

Sarah gave me conservative cutting advice (because I came off like a chicken shizzle in my email) – and I totally trust her. But then I found out about Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths …. 8 inches off my hair …. hm ….

I found someone to cut my hair, she’s never touched my hair before. This makes me a little nervous.

I’m committed to coloring my hair – it’s a good change. I’m waffling on whether or not I should follow my Hair Thursday advice to the letter or if I should chop off a big ole pony tail for the greater good.

First 100 voters get a chance to control my destiny! Big reveal will be at BlogHer!

 
When Dawn isn’t flashing her BEWBS over here, she struts her stuff over at Alex Year Two. After you vote about her hair, hop over there and read her adventures with Alex, Scout, and… drunk santa?  Hm….
 

Help A Sister Out, Ya’ll

I started my blogging career off over at Myspace (*throws up in mouth a little*). Over there, I have a relatively new myspace friend named Tina (screen-name is Yabbo).

She recently posted a blog asking for help. She has a ten-month old cutie named Mikey, and a silly, kind hubby named Joe.

She is having sleepy-time troubles with Mikey and would really like to hear the opinions, advice, and experiences of other mommies.

Now, you KNOW that when I said “sleepy-time troubles” a special string in your heart twitched. And probably, it felt nostalgic… and maybe it made you a little sick to your stomach.

The following is the content of her recent post (with her permission):

[PARENTS PLEASE READ - I NEED HELP!

No, not MY parents...

Anybody who has kids, I need your help. I don't care if you're an old pro or a rookie mommy like me. Mikey is driving me crazy with his fighting of sleep. When I tell people that my boy fights sleep or doesn't sleep well, I just get that ,"Yeaaaah, I know," reaction. It's the same thing I got when I first had Mikey and I would tell people that I was having a hard time and couldn't stop crying. I really needed help, somebody to talk to, and it was like nobody understood where I was coming from. Well, except Joe, but I needed womanly help. Joe really couldn't identify what was going on with my body.

So, mommies and daddies, I need help. Not a reassuring nod or smile (I can't see you, so it won't help anyway), I need stories and ideas. I want to know if your kid(s) has/had sleep issues. What did you do to help them sleep independently? How did they learn to just go to sleep by themselves?? It upsets me that something that seems to simple is the most difficult and aggrivating thing in my life.

Here's my story.

So at first Mikey wouldn't sleep alone. So we started co-sleeping. Dr.Sears said it was great. And it was. I say again, it WAS. Mikey is 10 months old now, and I would like to share my bed with my husband ONLY. My shoulders hurt from the way I have to sleep every night with a baby next to me. Don't get me wrong, it is wonderful seeing his one-toothed grin in the morning, but I really need time alone with Joe, you know? It is interesting that the websites I listened to that told me co-sleeping is so great have no ideas for getting the kid out of your bed. No exit strategy. Does George Bush run these sites?? I have been getting Mikey to sleep in his crib for naps, but they only last for half the time they do when I hold him or sleep beside him. And then he's grumpy and generally unpleasant. I'm planning on doing cry-it-out for night time soon. I just want him to get used to sleeping in his crib a little longer, thinking maybe it will help.

So, now your turn. I need ideas, people. And since the co-sleeping people think I should sleep with my son until he's 30, I'm not turning to them. Besides, they're strangers. I need help from people that know me and my family.

Thanks alot!]

So… can ya help a sister out, ya’ll? It would be REALLY nice if you, Dear Reader, would comment here and offer your words of kindness, advice, experience, and wisdom!

Don’t worry about writing “too much” or “too little,” in fact, don’t worry – just write!

Us mommies (and daddies) should always try our best to help out other Parental Units in need.

And if anyone out there is currently feeling the same woes as Tina, comment that, too! Hey, you might get some ideas from the comments here….

And if you don’t have kids, you can always offer a kind word… and direct your friends/family with kids to this page.