I like banana wheat, with syrup.
Fat floats.
We all know this, right? Fat, a lipid, is less dense than water… so it floats.
I know this. I really do.
But I was still excited at the astonishing sight I beheld in the bathtub Sunday night.
I filled the tub higher than usual, and sunk myself all the way in, hoping that the water would wash away all the deadlines I’ve been facing lately…
Or maybe just drown me so I didn’t have to meet them? 
I had my eyes closed… and when I opened them, I saw that part of my body was not submersed entirely.
Two parts, to be exact.
AND THE HEAVENS PARTED AND A GLORIOUS LIGHT SHONE UPON THE EARTH, AS THE ANGELS SANG!
What a vision to behold! It was like seeing my perky, 2005 BEWBS! I wanted to say to them… “Oh, 2005 bewbs, how I have missed you! The way you didn’t drag on the floor and bump against my ankles, it was like magic. You knew how to make a girl feel young… with your distinct ability to not have gross stretch marks and your complete lack of loud, slapping noises when I ran or jumped without a bra on.
Oh, pre-pregnant, pre-nursing 2005 BEWBS! Where have you been all this time!?”
But it was just a façade.
Please, make sure you try this yourself. But don’t be the fool that I was.
DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE FREE-HANGING-MEAT AS YOU’RE GETTING OUT OF THE TUB.
Just hold onto the vision, the memory… the floaty, fake-perky boobies. It’s okay to pretend.
Ah. Think I’ll make pancakes for breakfast… for some reason I can’t get the thought of flapjacks out of my head.
What I’m doing right now instead of writing posts…
What I’ll be doing after that…
I can’t wait until everything is all sorted, and I can take you guys on a tour of the new house!
Haik’ewww…
I have already
shared the fact that my dog is
absolutely gross.
We all got a laugh
when I told you how he ate
Braden’s turds with glee.
The Mexican stunk.
So, yesterday we gave him
a bath in the tub.
It is fun to laugh
and torment the dog while he
is in the water.
See how he is so
dumb that he chases his own
tail in the bath tub?
Or maybe he is
Trying to sniff his own butt,
because he likes that.
Indeed, we would be
washing his beloved stink
off and down the drain.
And, apparently,
he needed to let us know
How that made him feel.
This only made us
laugh at him even more, and
he vowed his revenge.
He was not joking.
Not long after he was out,
He peed on our couch.
*Insert 5 7 5 of swear-words here.*
Is it too late to
Nuke The Mexican and then
burn our microwave?
Hai’kould I be any more grateful?
Learning to brush teeth -
Who knew it could be so cute?
Just look at that face.
Remember that they
Are tiny packets of joy.
As is my Braden.
No him? and life sucks
He renews what was old and
keeps this heart young.
Dis, Dat, & De’Uddah.
Today I have for you…a few ramblings/odds and ends. What, you were expecting genius?
First off, I’m setting this post to publish right after midnight… so as I write this it’s Sunday night, and I’m excited and somewhat giggly about fun times to be had on Monday morning. With any luck there will be some fun pictures to show you later. 
Also, some things I wanted to mention:
On my old (Blogger) site, I removed the “nofollow” code from the template in order to give my commenters linky love whenever they commented. To learn more about the “DoFollow” Movement, click on the “You Comment, I Follow” button on the left sidebar. Many thanks to Dawn for pointing me to this post so that I could install a plugin to do the same here. So, it’s official, mah peeps. If you comment here regularly, you’ll get yourself some Google Juice for your own site. Now, isn’t that just peachy? And, if you haven’t noticed yet, I also use the CommentLuv plugin, which gives everyone a link to your most recent post – and according to Feedburner Stats, those babies do be gettin’ some clicks! See, I really do loves you guys.
Next, since moving over here to my lovely new place at WordPress, I’ve gotten behind on updating the Weekly Winners Blogroll. I have every intention of keeping that blogroll updated at all times. As such, I’d love for you guys to whip my ass into shape help get me back on track. If you have participated in Weekly Winners, could you please click over to the blogroll and make sure your link appears there?
If it is NOT there:
1) Please forgive me! I suck giant, hairy, donkey balls! (But I’m trying to quit – do they make a patch for that?)
2) Let me know so that I can remedy the problem. 
Also, I’ve been throwing around some ideas for actually creating and manufacturing some funny t-shirts, and possibly calendars and coffee mugs, to sell. What I’m looking for from all of you is some input on whether it’s worth it or not. I’m thinking silly pictures of Zack (aka The Mexican, our chihuahua) (and yes, I know this other person who does something similar – so sue me) or possibly some of my favorite nature shots in a yearly calendar. You guys have seen my shots (and if you haven’t, you can hop over to my flickr account and peruse). Would you buy a calendar of this stuff? Would you buy a shirt advertising my site if it said something funny? Or just a funny shirt? Framed prints of my best photographs? How about a dog turd with my autograph on it? Ok, ok, I realize I just went a little too far. But how about if Braden signed it?
Seriously, though, what do you think?
For your efforts, I leave you with this video, which might just make your day. Trust me.
The Nightly Poop
Last night was lovely again. Much playing with boats, turtles and bubbles was had. There was splashie and kicking in the suds. My baby loves bathie.
Then bedtime. I’ve been blowdrying his hair lately, and he seems to like it. Last night he giggled as the warm air rushed over him.
We sat in the glider, and I read him the book, “Mommy Hugs,” and then he read it to me. For the record, his version was much more exciting. Squeals just liven up a tale, I find.
Then it was lights out, and rocking to sleep in the glider time.
But ohhhh, Braden decided that it was one of those special nights when he will snuggle in deeply to my chest, but NOT go right to sleep.
Instead, it was time for another episode of “Mommy’s Face: A Journey of Pain.” This is basically where Braden decideds to reach up and start performing exploratory surgery on my face with his sweet little chubby hands, surprisingly strong fingers, and razor-like nails.
The Surgeon’s Obvious Plans:
First part of the procedure for this episode: Hook finger upon Mommy’s Nose Stud and YANK LIKE HELL. This will widen the hole, allowing Mommy to explore larger gauge nose studs. She will enjoy the prospect.
Second Foray: Reach up quickly with index finger extended, jamming it straight up into Mommy’s nose. The sweet spot has been reached if Mommy’s eyes well up with tears, and a gasp of pain is uttered.
Next stop, Mommy’s Lip. Grab lip with Death Grip From Hades and yank. Repeat until hand is firmly, but lovingly, removed. Repeat again.
Do not close the surgery without tracing new and exciting trails into Mommy’s gums with the sharpest fingernail imaginable.
And somehow, I call these the best years of my life.
Oh, and lest you think I have forgotten to liven up your lives with poop, here’s the latest Poop Report.
Poo will creep in early in the evening. Well-formed chunks of a deep brown color will be seen moving through the area. Some will float, others will sink.
Proceed with extreme caution. An area that seems safe to cross, as it is only inhabited by a toddler this cute:
Can quickly become A Poop Flood Zone:
Stay tuned for further Poop Updates.
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