Posts Tagged blogger’s choice awards
It seems like a raw deal, but don’t worry – I hit like a girl.
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Uncategorized on May 29, 2008
I finally posted Braden’s 18-Month Update.
Yes, I know he’s over 19-months old now. I have been pretty good this year about writing His Updates, but I fell way behind on the last two. I know, I know, excuses are like a-holes, yadda yadda yadda. If you can find me, you can write “SLACKER” on my forehead with black permanent marker.
But I get to punch you in the face afterwards.
Sorry, them’s the rules, pardner.
Soon, I’ll even be actually writing his 19-Month Update. If I’m feeling particularly nutty, it might even get finished, oh, I don’t know, before he turns 20-Months old? I know! You can’t believe the insanity! Who would actually do this sort of thing on time?
Oh! Someone who’s not Terminally Behind In Life? I’ll have to remember that.
Anyway, go over and read it. Please? I back-dated it to the proper date, and now it’s really lonely out there in “Old Posts Land.” You don’t want Braden to one day view it and think everyone hated him when he was 18-Months old, do you? Of course not! Only a cold, heartless bastard would let that happen! And you are not that. You are wonderful people!
Btw, I’m thinking this post clearly shows what a good parent I am, and what an amazing parenting blogsite this is. Don’t you agree? You do!? Why, I am so incredibly flattered and taken by surprise!
Of course, just to make it official, you should go vote this site as Best Parenting Blog.
<3
Get your Wednesday here, on Thursdays!
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Uncategorized on January 17, 2008
So, here at SarcasticMom.com, Sarcastic Mom makes the rules. And if her little boy has his 15 month birthday on Wordless Wednesday, Wednesday isn’t going to be all wordless, and stuff. But I have a Wordless Wednesday picture that was totally inspired via this post by Jamie.
So, I’m making the rules. I’m saying, HEY! It’s (kinda, but not so much, Wordless) Wednesday on Thursday here at SarcasticMom.com! Woo! Another day of humping, I mean a second chance at hump day. Or something.
“Honey! Where are there some clean socks for Braden?”
“Check The Pile.”
“Okay!”
See, at least I wash it and dry it. I’m just not so good at that whole “fold and put away” thing.
That’s why I wear this proudly:

And that’s why you should vote for me:

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PS: Many of you have already voted for me, and I LOVE YOU. Please allow me to show you how much I love you! If your link is not already on my sidebar, EMAIL ME (thelotuscarroll@hotmail.com) your URL and the name you want listed, and I’m gonna throw ya up there.
Please don’t make a tired Sarcastic Mom hunt you down….
A Whole Lotta Hodge Podge, Yo.
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Body/Health, Depression, Parenting, Thyroid on January 15, 2008
So, for today, you get a hodge-podge of totally random crap, just because it’s floating around in my head. Aren’t you lucky!?
Why yes, yes you are. (Just smile and nod in agreement. Don’t disagree with the crazy lady.)
So, first off, when I did the post with the video of Braden and the Bubble Machine, several of you asked about the bubble machine. IT IS AWESOME. Just my humble opinion. Braden has loved it from the very first time we used it, and, I will childishly admit that so have I. I’m a sucker for a bubble – that’s why I call them tiny packages of happy – and a machine that spits them out non-stop is a machine Momma likes.
It’s from Summer Infant. I first saw it from OneStepAhead, but you can buy it cheaper at Walmart. (Those last 2 links go right to the product, btw.) I picked ours up at a local Walmart, so no shipping and the base price was lower. I made sure to tell you about both, though: for the cheapies (like me) and the Walmart Haters (like me, but who aren’t cheapies).
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Next up, I wanted to mention that “Operation Potty Familiarize” has begun. No, we aren’t exactly expecting Braden to be Potty Trained at 15 months. What we do expect is that familiarizing him with it now will make things much easier in the future. And? He has peed a nice long pee in the potty twice this week. YAY!
(And do you care? I dunno. But I like to talk about poop and pee, so there you have it.)
We have this Baby Björn potty:
given to us by my sister (the one he’s peed in twice), and we just bought this Graco potty:
for its many cool features (like cushioned seat, easy to clean collection bowl, and removeable ring for use on toilet) and b/c Veronica at Toddled Dredge said good things about it in her potty review.
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For those of you who are following my Hashimotos Thyroiditis Escapades from me revealing my problems to the lab work and how my vagina fell off, and then on to finally hearing back on my tests… the latest news is that:
1) I still haven’t paid my lab bill of $387. Better pay it. We’re about to incur even MORE expenses…
2) I FINALLY heard back on an appointment with the Endocrinologist (after waiting for only a week and a half – yay for prompt medical attention!) and I have an appointment scheduled for January 28th.
I would like to mention that neither my doctor, nor any of the nurses, have decided to give a shit that I walked into that office and told them that I have been feeling very depressed lately. I was told that I would not be receiving an anti-depressant to help with that since the underlying medical problem could be the cause. Of course, they didn’t refer me to a therapist or counselor of any kind either. Just have to wait over a month to even have an appointment to get that checked is all… sure hope you don’t kill yourself or anything in the meanwhile… Is that responsible patient care? Just wondering.
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While responding in e-mail to comments left on the Screamie McGee post on Monday, I found myself sharing a gem with a couple of folks (MP and Bill), and I decided I’d pass it on to all of you, because it made me chuckle. So, it follows:
[As per Braden's screaming lately:]
John and I have decided that we are partly to blame. Braden sees us yell when we get mad.
Me to dog: “NO! NO! BAD DOG! GO GET IN YOUR BED! LIE DOWN! STAY!
John to TV: “NO, NO NO… YOU IDIOTS! BLITZ! OOOOHHHH, THAT WAS A HORRIBLE CALL! I HOPE YOU DIE!”
Me to John: “STOP YELLING AT THE TV, DAMNIT!”
Both of us to Braden: “STOP SCREAMING, THAT’S SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!”
It’s like, uh, spanking your kids for hitting? Heh.
So, part of our battle plan [to rid us of The Shriek] is a kinder and gentler John & Lotus. No more yelling to solve our problems.
Damnit @ kids making us be better people!
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Are you clicking all the links? Don’t make me record your ISP and find out where you live, only to hunt you down and obsessively watch you through the window of your home, while clenching a hunting knife between my teeth.
Cause, I will SO totally use it to cut through your cable line. So there.
Now, go vote for me in some of those categories on the right sidebar. Not because I’m threatening you or anything, but because you honestly think I’m funny, like my parenting tidbits, dig my photography, and find me to be a hot mommy. Even though I have a muffin-top and backfat.
From My Inbox, Episode 2
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Uncategorized on January 8, 2008
So, I checked one of my email accounts the other day, and was delighted to find I had received these 2 pieces of mail:
First:
Subject: We have Local Christian Singles in your Zip Code
You do? You have them? Where are you keeping them? And what are you planning on doing with them, exactly!? Just who are “you” anyway!?! And WHY are you trying to get ME involved in all of this!?! *becomes frantic*

Second:
Subject: Meet Black Singles In Your Area
Okay. I’m not opposed. Is this a prime directive? Is there something you’re implying here? Have I come off as racist? Did I ever say that I DIDN’T want to meet black singles in my area? Wait, was it that post where I was all, like, “I totally go to any length imaginable to avoid black singles in my area…” that tipped you off? I mean, I just really prefer black singles outside of my area, ya know what I mean? *wink*
WTH?
I’m really wondering why I got on the mailing list for these, anyway.
Everyone knows that I only really get hot for Hispanic Atheists.
Sheesh.
PS: You look sexy today. Did you vote for me yet?
*This just in!*
I’M NOMINATED IN 4 CATEGORIES? OH MY HECK!
So… you know… if you voted for the photography, could you also… um…. *nudge, nudge*
Vote for me here if you think I have freakin’ awesome photography!

Vote for me here if you think I iz funnee!

Vote for me here if you think I Rox tha Momminess!

And don’t forget to vote for me here if you think I’m Fackin’ Hot. ![]()



























you said