Bewb Fest ’10 Winners!
It’s been another great Festival! I’d like to thank all the entrants for the great mammaries. And memories. Mammories? You guys are awesome and without you, there would be no Bewb Fest. Thanks for putting it all out there! My love for you is overflowing. You make me bouncy with joy – I just might bust. No really, you’ve racked up great amounts of admiration from me. (Ok, ok, no more bewbie puns.)
And thank YOU – everyone who visited and voted. We’ve raised a nice little chunk for Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, and remember that all July Blogher Ad Revenue will be donated, so keep visiting until the end of the month!
I’d also like to thank our fantastic sponsors:
Lingerie.com, Bare Necessities, Eden Fantasys and NippleCharms.com
They care enough about bewbies to step up and make Bewb Fest ’10 even more fun and exciting with some great prizes, so please visit them and show them some love.
Our BEWBs Winner is: #33, Diane Bramos / @pilateschik
First Runner Up: #30, Angelia of Mommy Needs Meds
Second Runner Up: #05, Veronica of Veronica Foale
And because all bewbies deserve a chance at a prize for being brave enough to bounce on the web:
Wild-Card Winner: #36, MommyNamedApril of April’s Little Family
Wild Card Winner is drawn using the random integer generator from the pool of those left after Winner, 1st RU & 2nd RU were identified by the results of the poll.
MEWBS Winner is: #04, Coderblues
***
There, now wasn’t that fun? YES, YES IT WAS.
And please remember that ALL JULY Blogher Ad Revenue will be donated to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, so *please* keep visiting until the end of the month!
And stay tuned for me to talk about how you can be reminded of next year’s Bewb Fest in time to submit your entry, as well as my pledge to raise money and run in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure in Austin, TX this November!
<3BEWBS
Bewb Fest ’10 – Call for Submissions!
It’s that time of year, my friends. Oh, yes.
I’m calling the bewbs out to play.
(see below for details.)
mah bewbies. © lotus carroll 2010, all rights reserved
It’s time for BEWB Fest 10!
Bewb Fest ’10 is waiting in the wings, just around the corner, and that means you need to dress up those tatas in their best ‘ready for my close-up’ threads and send me a photo.
Confused? Visit the Bewbs Page on my website and scroll down to the links about Bewb Fest. There you can ogle all the fantastic photos read up on the history of Bewb Fest.
Last year, a separate MEWBs Category was added and this tradition will continue. What are MEWBS? Man Boobs, Pecs, Male Chest… get the idea? As long as I get at least 3 entries for MEWBs, we’ll have this category again.
All sizes and types of BEWBs/MEWBs are welcome and appreciated here.
That means don’t you dare say yours aren’t good/large/whatever enough.
Yes. They. Are.
So get out your camera and photograph your dirty pillows, ladies. Shine up that lens and snap a good one of your pec area, dudes.
And then send those suckas to me via bewbfest@gmail.com
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_____________________
***
Rules for Photo Submission:
1. BEWBs need to be tastefully covered in some way. This ain’t no nipple show, ladies. Sorry.
2. Yes, it is okay to send a breastfeeding photo, if you still fall within all the other rules. Bewbs are hawt AND functional, and there needn’t be a separation in those instances.
3. MEWBs can be covered or uncovered. Yes, we are all about double standards here at BEWB Fest. Deal with it or #suckit.
4. Please send me only ONE photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs. I know you are a gifted photographer, and your chestal area looks awesome from many angles. Choose your favorite and send me that one.
5. Please make sure your photograph is no larger than 550px wide, and no smaller than 300px wide. Please, good quality.
6. No text anywhere on the photo, please!
7. I’m sure your face is what dreams are made of. Let us dream. NO CONTESTANT FACES IN PHOTOS!
8. Your email to bewbfest@gmail.com should include: your photo, your preferred name/screen identity, your blog name and URL (if you have one)
9. No submissions accepted after July 10, 2010. Don’t put it off until the last minute!
***
_____________________
***
Prizes!
Oh, and are you wondering what the winners of this year’s Bewb/Mewb Fest will be receiving as a prize for their hard work willingness to let us have a gander? You’re probably dying to know. Well…
Lingerie.com, Bare Necessities, and Eden Fantasys are sponsoring Bewb Fest ’10 – click over to the Sponsors/Prizes Page to find out the awesome details!
And because bewbies are not only fun to look at, but also attached to women we’d all like to save (so that we can look at their bewbies some more because everyone deserves a chance to live as long as they possibly can), all Blogher ad revenue for the month of July will be donated to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, “the world’s largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists.” It doesn’t have to be October for us to make donations, so if you can spare some dollah-dollahs, it’s a good cause to support in June or July, too. Please consider donating.
***
_____________________
***
I will take photo submissions through July 10, 2010. Voting will open on July 12, 2010 and run through July 21st. The winners will be announced on July 22nd, 2010.
Now go go go, photograph those bewbies/mewbies!
And remember to tell your friends. 
Still have questions? Email me at bewbfest@gmail.com
BEWB Fest 09 Winners!
It has been a crazy week of staring at bewbies/mewbies and smiling/laughing/drooling.
People had a lot to say about Bewb Fest 09!
“Waking up at 5 to write. Taking bets. Will I write, go back to sleep, or vote on bewbs?”
–@Neilochka
“Voting is like Sophie’s Choice, but the tears are tears of wonder.”
–@debontherocks
“The entire male class of Indy Law 2009 is now voting on bewbs.”
–@mooshinindy
“Hubs called @ lunch: “Whatcha doin’?” Me: Looking at Boobs.”
–@some1s_sista
“#bewbfest09 FTW!”
–@aaronvest
“RE: #bewbfest09 my husband says: You guys are funny. (pause) Show me yours. #snort”
–@VDog
“My blog stats are down today and I’m blaming you!”
–@TwentyFour
“Ladies of the Bewbfest, I thank you. You’re all beautiful. I’m like a kid in a candy store. Y’know, if all the candy was boobs.”
–@karlerikson
“What did we twitter about before #bewbfest09? I have forgotten.”
–@undomesticdiva
“I’m totally in it for the bewbs. Bewbs make the world go round!”
–@GeekByMarriage
“Even if there was no prize or contest at all, the holiness of bewbs was upon us.”
–@Zoeyjane
Amen.
Thanks SO much to all of you who entered your BEWBS and MEWBS into BEWB FEST 09. You all are clearly brave and have a great sense of humor. Thank you for playing!
Thank you to the Sponsors! It was nice to offer some fun prizes this year. Please visit them, m’kay?
I have worked out one slight change to the prizes which I think adds a slice of total fairness and gratitude to the BEWBs prize plate, so to speak. More on that in a minute…
Winner and 2 Runners Up get prizes (see here) —
Our BEWBs Winner is: #25, Miss Grace of Miss Grace’s Disgrace
She receives the autographed t-shirt from Kaiser Mommy, a lovely lingerie prize, and takes her place in the BEWB Fest Hall of Fame!
First Runner Up: #10, Anissa of Hope4Peyton
Second Runner Up: #04, Laura of Adventures in Juggling
And the slice of fairness and gratitude? We have a Wild-Card Winner, drawn using the random integer generator from the pool of those left after Winner, 1st RU & 2nd RU were identified by the results of the poll. Because you know what? ALL BEWBS deserve a chance at a prize for being brave enough to bounce on the web.
This person gets a Wild-Card Prize. Click to visit the Sponsors/Prizes Page to see what it is.
Wild-Card Winner: #15, Megan of Undomestic Diva
The MEWBs Winner gets a place in the MEWBs Hall of Fame – and hey, that’s pretty sweet, right? Right!
MEWBS Winner is: #01, Busy Dad of Busy Dad Blog
Again, thank you so very much to everyone who entered, and all of you who celebrated this Bewbtastic event.
Now, next year? New rules. More prizes, bigger excitement. It’s all in the works. Is it bad that I already can’t wait?
<3BEWBS
BEWB Fest 09 – Call for submissions!
Have you been longing to take a photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs but just didn’t know what on earth you’d do with it?
That’s why I’m here, people. To help you solve these kinds of crises.
It’s time for BEWB Fest 09!
That’s right… last year we voted for Best BEWBs in honor of Lightning’s Traveling T-Shirt.
Kaiser Mommy won; Nikki & Tena were runners up!
And with that began the idea for BEWB Fest, which is now an annual event at Casa SarcMom.
This year, we have a separate MEWBs Category (Man Boobs, Pecs, Male Chest, get the idea?) – because Sarcastic Mom loves the menfolks and is all about inclusion. We don’t leave out any chests here!
All sizes and types of BEWBs/MEWBs are welcome and appreciated here.
So get our your camera, and photograph your dirty pillows, ladies. Shine up that lens and snap a good one of your pec area, dudes.
And then send those suckas to me via bewbfest@gmail.com
Rules for Photo Submission:
1. BEWBs need to be tastefully covered in some way. This ain’t no nipple show, ladies. Sorry.
2. MEWBs can be covered or uncovered. Yes, we are all about double standards here at BEWB Fest. Deal with it or #suckit.
3. Please send me only ONE photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs. I know you are a gifted photographer, and your chestal area looks awesome from many angles. Choose your favorite and send me that one.
4. Please make sure your photograph is no larger than 550px wide, and no smaller than 300px wide. Please, good quality.
5. No text anywhere on the photo, please!
6. I’m sure your face is what dreams are made of. Let us dream. NO FACES IN PHOTOS!
7. Your email to bewbfest@gmail.com should include: your photo, your preferred name/screen identity, your blog name and URL (if you have one)
This year’s fabulous BEWB Fest Sponsors?
Please click over to this page to see who they are and what you’re playing for.
I will take photo submissions through June 22, 2009. Voting will open on June 24, 2009 and run through June 30. The winners will be announced on July 1, 2009.
Now go go go, photograph them bewbies/mewbies!
Reasons why today was good… ?
[written Friday night, amidst sweltering heat, I might add]
Today was good. We
went to the zoo and that was
quite a lot of fun.
Braden was cute all
day long, as is usual.
He brings me such joy.
Um, dinner was good.
Yeah, it was yummy. Sketti.
Yeah, dinner was good.
Oh, who the hell am
I kidding?! Being positive
is not my best trait!
I need to complain!
UPSTAIRS A/C EFFING DIED!
*pulling out my hair*
Why upstairs? Huh? Why?
UPSTAIRS! Where the heat rises!
Why not downstairs, HUH?
Eighty-Seven – not
an acceptable number
of degrees inside.
I stand firm on this.
So does Braden. His screams at
bedtime confirm it.
Who can sleep like this?
And how can I possibly
Plurk well in this heat!?
Oh well. Off now to
dip my BEWBS in ice water.
Can’t let them suffer.
{ Oh yeah, don’t forget
to go vote for BEWBS and PECS!
The Rack begs you to! 
}
Vote For Best Chest!
It is time for all of you to choose the next blogger whom The Travelling T-Shirt should visit.
I asked for BEWBS and boy did I get BEWBS! (I even got some PECS!)
Thank you so much to these fabulous contestants for sharing their upper torsos with us:
Sleepless Nights
Frog Ponds Rock
Memarie Lane
Growing A Pair
beggar’s shot glass
The Busy Dad Blog
mommycosm
Adam’s Wife’s Weblog
Immoral Matriarch
calicobebop
Special K
Secrets of a Black Heart
Mommy Is Moody
From Here To There
My Therapy
Lilac Colored Glasses
My Life as a Hotfessional
Alex Year Two
Firecracker Mom!
Cyberbones
Draco’s Rose
Knitting Without Needles
Pictures Taken By Me
Welcome to Married Life
shamelessly sassy
Redefining Perfect
Whiskey In My Sippy Cup
Here Are The Contestants (in no particular order!)
*fidgeting*
Is it hot in here?
*ahem*
Anyway! I know it is really, really hard to pick just one photo with so many fine BEWBS (and 2 sets of awesome PECS), so I decided that you can pick up to 3 photos to vote for.
Aren’t I nice?
Find your favorite 3 photos.
Note the numbers in the Upper, Left-hand Corner of photos.
Vote for those 3 numbers.
NOW VOTE!
**Poll is now closed. Winner was 09. Runners up – 2nd: 13, 3rd: 23. Congrats, BEWBS!**
[poll id="3"]
Voting will remain open until 12:01am CST Saturday, June 7th.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL THESE FINE BEWBS AND PECS! “The Rack” is proud to be in your company!
(Breast)feeding Carnival
Click here for an explanation of today’s Carnival.
When Marie interviewed me, she suggested that I re-post my story about breastfeeding Braden.
Kat suggested that it would be cool to do it and ask other people to link in with their stories. I agreed because the idea of not only sharing our experience, but having the opportunity to share yours with you, and learn from it, struck me as a really wonderful thing.
And thank you in advance, also, to all of you who will read these stories. You’ll find the stories of other participants linked in at the bottom of this post. You are welcome to add yours, as well.
I hope that you find something in them that you needed, even if you didn’t know you needed it.
And now, here is “The Braden Boobie-Milk Story…” or “How My Son and My Boobs Parted Ways”
***
I have always planned on breastfeeding my children. I planned to do it before I even thought about it. By that, I mean that I don’t think I ever even considered NOT breastfeeding them, if that makes sense. It’s like it wasn’t even an option.My mother breastfed all 3 of her children (openly, proudly, and happily). Maybe you get saggy boobs; who cares!? I know about the positive benefits for the child, from the wonderful immunity boosts to the great bonding and comfort. Add to that the increased ability to metabolize the Junk in My Trunk, and the fact that IT’S FREE, and breast milk becomes God Juice.
While I was pregnant I read at least 3 books solely about Breastfeeding, as well as many which included sections on the topic. I read magazines, web articles, forums, and various other posts, until I had BF Info pouring outta my ass.
I researched breast-pumps, nursing pads, nipples creams, etc. I bought several nursing bras and tops. Up to and directly after Braden’s birth, I borrowed, bought, and stocked all the things I thought would help in the breastfeeding journey, from pillows to pads to pumps to creams.
I was SO READY.
Braden inhaled meconium upon entering our lovely world (8:35pm on 10.16.06) which caused some respiratory distress. I didn’t get to hold him right after he came out. That, in itself, really sucked. But you can hear more about it when I (re)post his Birth Story on March 24th.
Once he was stable, I got to hold him for a very BRIEF moment, and then he was gone to the nursery for observation and monitoring. I didn’t get to see him again for hours, and I didn’t get to hold him again until 4am. That whole part of my Birth Plan about how “I want to nurse immediately after delivery!!!” flew right into the fan, along with the shit that had hit it moments before.
(Er, or did it even have a chance to hit the fan before Braden sucked it into his lungs?)
When we did start nursing later that night, I thought I was doing okay, but, let’s face it… even after all the reading and such, I didn’t REALLY know what the hell I was doing! This was the first non-romantic booby suck I’d ever had!
The next day, a Lactation Consultant helped me with Braden’s latch. I had been DREADING the LC. Throughout my pregnancy, I (internally) swore that nobody was going to be all over my boobies telling me what to do with them. Not only am I stubborn, and headstrong (I know how to do everything right the first time, and I don’t need any help, ever. DUH.), but I’m not into the whole “another woman’s gonna touch my boobies now, YAY!” thing. (Except with you over there, Mm-hm, you know who you are. *wink*)
Ha! By that day, I didn’t give half a rat’s ass who saw my knockers. (The day before, countless people saw every uncharted inch of my body, and I didn’t care then, either.)
I WELCOMED the LC to be all over my boobies telling me what to do with them. And she REALLY HELPED. She gave me some tips and showed me some things that made it easier to go about setting up a proper latch, actual demonstration of different “holds,” and cues to look for that would tell me Braden was actually swallowing nourishment.
That night, Braden puked up a bunch of yellow stuff, and I freaked out.
(This falls under the category of “OMG, IS HE BREATHING??” and “MY BABY THREW UP, HE’S DYING, I KNOW IT!”)
Ah, the wonders of being a first-time parent (read: paranoid, semi-idiot with offspring) during the first week. Heh.The nurse we frantically summoned to our room from the nursery told me that it was normal, and it was yellow because he was getting lots of colostrum; a good sign. I was relieved, as well as proud. That’s right, people, the Mommy Juice was A’flowin.
Later that night, Braden started crying. He was fed. Changed. Swaddled. Rocked. Cuddled. Sung to. Prayed Over. Fed. Changed. Rocked. Cuddled. The crying became an awful, wailing, screaming.
It. Just. Wouldn’t. Stop.
That’s when another part of the Birth Plan – “No bottles or pacifiers are to be given to my son at ANY TIME!” – went right out the window. (No more fan, we’re just chunking things out of the 3rd story window now, thanks.)
John went to the nursery and got a paci. Upon his return, he told me that a nurse in the hallway saw him with it, and remarked, “It will become your Best Friend.” Ohhh, how right she was. (But it’s the only best friend I’ve ever wished had never existed.)
It soothed The Boy. Thus began a long love-affair with Paci-Poo.
We took our amazing, beautiful miracle home, and started the Journey Of Parenthood on Wednesday, October 18th. He was a joy. Sure, he often seemed cranky, irritable, and farty… but we just thought it was because he was taking after me. And when he made that loud, grunting Turd Announcement, we just thought it was funny, and we laughed….
On Friday night, I was changing a diaper, and noticed a tiny speck of blood amidst the mustard. My mind reeled. My stomach lurched and churned. My heart was running a marathon. I called John (he was on The Road with Chris Cagle) to freak out in his ear. We decided that since Braden seemed fine otherwise, we’d wait until his scheduled appointment on Monday.
That was a long weekend.
During Braden’s visit, his pediatrician asked me if I had brought a stool sample. DOH! Didn’t think of that one. She had to stick her finger up his butt to get some poo, which he LOVED. It was tested, and the result was positive for blood.
She looked grim. My heart sank.
That began my dairy exclusion diet. Let me make the point here that I LOVE DAIRY, ESPECIALLY CHEESE. But I was going to do whatever it took to breastfeed. So. No Dairy.
For those 2 weeks, I consumed no dairy, and I struggled with my little boy.
We’d have awesome nursing sessions… and then we’d have the “I love your booby, NO I HATE YOUR BOOBY, IT MAKES ME CRY… wait, I love it, I love it… NO I HATE IT!!!” sessions. His latch made my hoohas burn. My hoohas made him cry.I cried a lot.
A LOT.
Whining moment: I was a new mother. Super educated, and yet, still clueless. EXHAUSTED. Worried. Confused. Scared. Frustrated. Not allowing myself caffeine, alcohol, or dairy. Wondering why my body was being such a piece of shit. Doubting myself as a mother. Feeling like a failure, and mad about it.
Andsotired.
At the next Poop Test, I remembered to bring a used diaper. No finger. But still blood.
Dr. Hunter said we should give it more time because it can take awhile for all the remnants of dairy to clear out of our systems.
More trying. More crying. Pumping so Daddy could help feed.
Thanksgiving Day. Rather pleasant… until 10pm.
Non-stop, High-Intensity Screaming Cry from 10pm until 4am.
That’s right, friends. The COLIC had arrived.
“Hi, COLIC! We’re The Carrolls! Here’s our Jugular, why not get it over quickly?”
But nooo, no getting it over quickly was going to be had.
The crying, every night. The utter helpless, frustrating feeling of complete failure.
Next Poop Test. Blood. AGAIN.
That began the addition of Soy Exclusion.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PRODUCTS CONTAIN SOME FORM OF SOY?
No dairy. No Soy.
Mommy so tired.
We tried so hard. I don’t know what words to use to express the anguish of moments when my son would be SO HUNGRY and latch SO EAGERLY and then completely reject my breasts, crying, because he was IN PAIN.
It was almost sad that we actually DID have some really GOOD breastfeeding sessions. (Don’t ask me how or why. I guess sometimes his gut pain wasn’t as bad as at others.)
I knew what it was like when it was right. Why couldn’t it be that way all the time???
Next appointment was December 18th.
Dr. Hunter left the room with Braden’s Stool Test Card. We waited.
She came back, looking bummed. Blood. STILL.
I think I had to use all of the strength I’ve ever summoned just to stop myself from crumpling onto the floor of the examining room.
She reluctantly suggested that it was time to put him on a special formula for babies with milk protein allergy. She said I should pump every 2-3 hours so that I could still possibly breastfeed, if necessary.
If.Necessary.
The tone of her voice and the look on her face didn’t say it would be necessary. She told me that if I couldn’t keep breastfeeding him, I could always try again with the next baby.
The.Next.Baby.
The meaning of her words was too heavy, and I started crying. I cry every time I remember this moment.
Dr. Hunter was gentle, thoughtful, kind and reassuring, and I got it together. On the outside.
We put Braden on the formula (Enfamil Nutramigen, aka Liquid Gold). Within less than 24 hours, he was a completely different baby. He was happy. He smiled a lot. He cooed.
He allowed us to put him in his bouncer and eat together, at the same time, you know, while neither of us was holding a baby???
WE WERE STUNNED. Elated.
Still, I pumped my dirty pillows. I pumped and pumped and hoped and waited and watched and pumped.
I HATED pumping. It HURT. Anyone who thinks that pumping is easy is a dork. One that should be punched in the face.
After almost a week, I went to my husband and we had The Talk.
It was time to stop pumping. I stopped adding to my Freezer Full of Breast Milk. I washed the pump and Put It Away.
Again, I cried.
But I also rejoiced, because my son was HAPPY.
It took 2 more visits for us to get a test negative for blood. Do you get the thrust of that? The proteins in my breast milk were ripping up the insides of my son’s intestines so badly that it took him a full month to heal completely.
I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t feel slighted. I did. I have a long list of laments: loss of ability to give my child greater immunity, loss of bonding time, loss of that special feeling (that Words Can’t Describe thing about BF your infant), loss of MONEY, loss of self-worth, loss of ability to burn extra calories, damnit.
But what I gained was priceless. A happy, healthy baby.
Incidentally, I kept the Freezer Full of Breast Milk until I was forced to clean it out when we moved in May 2007. (I cried again, of course.)
Braden is my sweet, amazing, beautiful, funny, crazy, smart, happy-go-lucky, fast, silly, HEALTHY son.
I’d do anything for him.
Even NOT breastfeed.
I support Breastfeeding Moms, Pumping Moms, Bottlefeeding Moms. No matter whether you’re putting a boob or a bottle in your infant’s mouth, no matter if there’s breastmilk, goat’s milk, or formula flowing into your child’s stomach, no matter how long you do it, or the choices you make about being ‘discrete,’ I salute you, MOMS & DADS.
I’m in Support of Moms and Dads who love, care for, nurture, and comfort their children in healthy ways that are right for their families. Period.
Thanks for reading this. I think (know) I needed to write it.
PLEASE ADD YOUR BREAST/PUMPING/BOTTLE- FEEDING STORY TO THE LIST OF LINKS BELOW!
I only ask that you link in with the DIRECT LINK to your post, NOT your main website address. This way, visitors who come here much later will still be able to easily find your story and benefit from it!
Irrelevant links will be deleted.
The Rack In Danger
Braden’s Hiney has the day off, folks.
I knew you would be disappointed, so I’m whipping out The Rack to soften the blow.
Apparently, an upside-down ketchup bottle can build up some pressure…
Look at how The Rack narrowly avoided disaster!
Watch out, Rack! *gasp*
As for the mess, I got up most of it with my finger, but there was some left.
I’m not one for wasting, so…
Oh, alright, fine. I’ll stop being gross. Just for a few seconds.
The Really Wordy Portion of today’s post (aka Boob and Cooter Info):
The (Breast)feeding Carnival is scheduled for Tuesday, March 11th. I used the ( ) because I want to open it to anyone telling their story about how they feed/fed their babies. This can be about breastfeeding/pumping/bottle feeding, etc. Just tell your story. Posts with tips on these subjects are more than welcome also. If you plan to participate, you can display any of these buttons, and please link to this page ( http://sarcasticmom.com/?page_id=269 ) to other people can find out more about what’s going on and join in.
Additionally, the Birth Story Carnival is scheduled for Monday, March 24th. As with the other, I welcome all types of stories here. Whatever your child’s birth story is like, tell it! And you don’t have to be the one who did the birthing to join in – I would LOVE for Dads to step up and tell the birth story of their child(ren) from their POV. And if you adopted, talk about that, too, guys! This is basically just a chance for us to share the stories of how our families grew/came to be/evolved. If you plan to participate, you can display any of these buttons, and please link to this page ( http://sarcasticmom.com/?page_id=270 ).
End of Boob and Cooter Info.
Have a lovely Wednesday, all!
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