Posts Tagged boobs

BEWB FEST 09

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in BEWBS/The Rack, Poll/Question on June 24, 2009

It’s the moment you’ve been awaiting all year, I just know it. It’s TIME to vote for the BEST BEWBS/MEWBS of 2009!

Remember to see the scoop on prizes and check out BF09 Sponsors, button up, and then make your vote count here for the best BEWBs/MEWBs of your fellow internet denizens.

Thanks so much to the following BEWB Contestants:

Alison of RN-Mom
Amy@TasteLikeCrazy of Taste Like Crazy
Anissa of Hope4Peyton
Barefoot Foodie of The Barefoot Foodie
Betsey Booms of Betsey Booms
Carie of Our Crooked Tree
Catherine of Her Bad Mother
Dawn of Kaiser Mommy
Deb of DowneastSmurfette
Earth Mommy of Behind the Stall Door
Elissa of Punk Rock Parents
Gina of My Very Last Nerve
Haley-O of Cheaty Monkey
Jenny on the Spot of Jenny on the Spot
Jill’s Charming Two of Charming & Delightful
Just Jinny of A Girl in the Real World
Karen Sugarpants of Karen Sugarpants
Kim of Frog Ponds Rock
Laura of Adventures in Juggling
Linda of Short Pump Preppy
madnessisay of Madness, Madness I Say!
Malia of live .laugh. love.
Maria of Immoral Matriarch
Maria of Mommy Melee
Megan of Undomestic Diva
Mishi of Secret Agent Mama
Miss of Just Miss
Miss Grace of Miss Grace’s Disgrace
Mrs. C-to-Be of Headed in the Right Direction
Mrs. Flinger of Mrs. Flinger, Little Black Dress Edition
Padme
*pixie* of Artist Mother Teacher
Sam (temptingmama) of Temporarily Me Dot Com
Sarahviz of In The Trenches of Mommyhood
SarahInMI of This Mom’s Wired
@sendchocolate of Send Chocolate
Shaboom
@Shash of Diary of a Crazed Mommy
Summer of Wired for Noise
Tena of My Therapy
The Hotfessional of My Life as a Hotfessional
VDog of Room 704
Veronica of Sleepless Nights
Zoeyjane of Mommy is Moody

(list in alphabetical order – does NOT match the order of BEWB photos)

Voting Poll follows these BEWBalicious photos… You can pick up to THREE Pair of BEWBS each time, and you can vote every day through June 30th.

BEWBS

18 is a placeholder, ignore #18. What, you thought I could count properly while looking at all these BEWBS? Please.

Which BEWBs are best? Pick 3 favorites by number - you can vote every day through June 30th!

25 (31%, 5,493 Votes)
10 (28%, 4,999 Votes)
04 (15%, 2,671 Votes)
35 (14%, 2,471 Votes)
27 (7%, 1,221 Votes)
23 (4%, 619 Votes)
42 (3%, 587 Votes)
24 (3%, 546 Votes)
09 (2%, 353 Votes)
05 (2%, 314 Votes)
01 (1%, 235 Votes)
44 (1%, 190 Votes)
41 (1%, 174 Votes)
43 (1%, 173 Votes)
19 (1%, 161 Votes)
34 (1%, 154 Votes)
45 (1%, 148 Votes)
37 (1%, 144 Votes)
02 (1%, 118 Votes)
30 (1%, 118 Votes)
06 (1%, 114 Votes)
03 (1%, 114 Votes)
33 (1%, 106 Votes)
39 (1%, 94 Votes)
14 (1%, 91 Votes)
26 (0%, 84 Votes)
08 (0%, 73 Votes)
21 (0%, 69 Votes)
17 (0%, 67 Votes)
20 (0%, 64 Votes)
12 (0%, 55 Votes)
11 (0%, 50 Votes)
15 (0%, 47 Votes)
22 (0%, 43 Votes)
31 (0%, 39 Votes)
40 (0%, 38 Votes)
13 (0%, 37 Votes)
28 (0%, 35 Votes)
07 (0%, 35 Votes)
36 (0%, 35 Votes)
16 (0%, 33 Votes)
38 (0%, 33 Votes)
32 (0%, 33 Votes)
29 (0%, 33 Votes)
18 (0%, 32 Votes)

Total Voters: 17,664

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Sarcastic Mom sho ’nuff do love the menfolks, so we have MEWBs as well!

A great big, over-enthusiastic THANK YOU to the following MEWB Contestants:

Artist formerly known as “Make It A Double”
Busy Dad of Busy Dad Blog
Chris Mann of Chris Mann Music
“CrackahMoto”
Josh of Raging Dad

(list is in alphabetical order – does NOT match the order of MEWB photos)

Voting Poll follows the MEWBtastic Chestiness… Pick your favorite MEWBS and vote every day through June 30th!

MEWBS

Which MEWBs are best? Choose the number of your favorite chest - you can vote every day through June 30th!

01 (49%, 255 Votes)
04 (22%, 116 Votes)
05 (18%, 94 Votes)
02 (7%, 34 Votes)
03 (4%, 18 Votes)

Total Voters: 517

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Don’t forget to display a button to support BEWB Fest 09 – and remember, you can vote every day!

Please note that this now annual Bewb Fest developed independently and with no prior knowledge of Boobiethon, and is not meant to copy, diminish, or devalue the work that is being done there. Bewb Fest is for fun because I love women and I love bewbies. Note the Boobiethon button on the sidebar and visit them to see what they are about. It’s a great cause. Helping save women’s lives is never a bad idea.

Bewb Fest 09, BEWBS, boobs, Breasts, Chest, DAYAM, Dirty Pillows, Knockers, MEWBS, vote

79 Comments

I like banana wheat, with syrup.

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Aging, BEWBS/The Rack, Body/Health, Humor on September 4, 2008

Fat floats.

We all know this, right? Fat, a lipid, is less dense than water… so it floats.

I know this. I really do.

But I was still excited at the astonishing sight I beheld in the bathtub Sunday night.

I filled the tub higher than usual, and sunk myself all the way in, hoping that the water would wash away all the deadlines I’ve been facing lately…

Or maybe just drown me so I didn’t have to meet them?

I had my eyes closed… and when I opened them, I saw that part of my body was not submersed entirely.

Two parts, to be exact.

AND THE HEAVENS PARTED AND A GLORIOUS LIGHT SHONE UPON THE EARTH, AS THE ANGELS SANG!

What a vision to behold! It was like seeing my perky, 2005 BEWBS! I wanted to say to them… “Oh, 2005 bewbs, how I have missed you! The way you didn’t drag on the floor and bump against my ankles, it was like magic. You knew how to make a girl feel young… with your distinct ability to not have gross stretch marks and your complete lack of loud, slapping noises when I ran or jumped without a bra on.

Oh, pre-pregnant, pre-nursing 2005 BEWBS! Where have you been all this time!?”

But it was just a façade.

Please, make sure you try this yourself. But don’t be the fool that I was.

DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE FREE-HANGING-MEAT AS YOU’RE GETTING OUT OF THE TUB.

Just hold onto the vision, the memory… the floaty, fake-perky boobies. It’s okay to pretend.

Ah. Think I’ll make pancakes for breakfast… for some reason I can’t get the thought of flapjacks out of my head.

Aging, bath, Beaver Tails, BEWBS, Body Image, boobs, Buoyancy, Density, Facade, fat, Flapjacks, Float, Gravity, Lipid, Pancakes, Platypus Tail, Skin, Stretched, Trickery

48 Comments

Going to BlogHer?

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Uncategorized on July 16, 2008

Yes?

First, I hate you you’re a poopie-head I’m really jealous of you.
But also very happy for you. (Seriously!)

Second, you must look for this fabulous woman I love:

She’s going to have something of mine with her:

And she’s happy about it!

Remember, look for Redneck Mommy, holding The Rack.

You MUST NOT miss a Photo Opp with MAH BEWBS AT BLOGHER.

(Not going to Blogher? Let’s sit online together for 3 days and whine jealously. Deal?)

All photos of the Hot Canadian courtesy of said Hot Canadian. Rawr!

Attack of the Redneck Mommy, BEWBS, Bloggers, Blogher, Blogher Convention, boobs, Hot Canadian, Redneck Mommy, Tanis, the rack

59 Comments

The BEWBS Just Keep Showing Up

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Awards, BEWBS/The Rack on June 10, 2008

The Travelling T-Shirt is on the way to its next Bloggie Stop: Kaiser Mommy.

Dawn is the owner of the Fabulous Rack (BEWBS!) that all of you wonderful readers voted as best.

CONGRATULATIONS, DAWN!

Official Acceptance Speech From Dawn:

I’d like to thank the academy of wonderful Sarcasticmom.com readers who voted for me, my husband for always offering to hold mah bewbs for me when the load is too heavy, my son for encouraging me to carry him all the time to build my arm muscles, I’d like to thank God for um … blessing? …. me with porn star dimensions naturally, I’d like to thank contestant #12 for giving me such a run for my money – I voted for you, you HAWT thing! and finally, (music plays …) I’d like to thank my Panache Tango II Superbra for supporting me all these years! Thank You All!

Let’s not forget our 2 fabulous runners up! Congratulations, BEWBS Ladies!

Second Place: Nikki, Secrets of a Black Heart

Third Place: Tena, My Therapy

Now, I may be a total assbrain for so many reasons, they would not even fit on this page to think it would be a prize for someone to guest post here. But I’d love to harass these three fine ladies into guest posting… you know, so that we can get to know them a bit more now that you have all given them accolades for their, um, obvious endowments.

What do you say? Let’s get to know the BRAINS behind our winning BEWBS!

An honorable mention goes to a sweet, sassy, and silly friend of mine, Angie, who didn’t want to be considered since she’s not officially blogging yet. Instead, she just wanted to send me her Bouncin’ Preggo BEWBS just for fun. Everyone needs a friend like that, right?

Here’s her Rack:

On to the next bit of BEWBS Business. (Have you noticed yet how much I like to type, “BEWBS?”)

There was a slight BEWB Mishap in putting together the Best Chest Voting Post. EEEEK!

These BEWBS got lost in my inbox!

And these BEWBS got eaten by my website’s Spam Filter!

It is SO very sad when BEWBS lose their way. *sniff*

In order to make it up to these BEWBS, I’m offering “You Didn’t Even Have A Chance, And That’s Not Fair!” consolation prizes to their owners. Each will receive a Brookstone Floating Photo Frame.

How does it work?

It’s Magic, Dummy. Just like a fine rack.

Last bit of BEWBS Business (for now):

These BEWBS…

…made me laugh so.very.much.

And the fabulous woman (”Mr. Lady“) who owns them has so many creative words of wonderfulness and hilarity on a regular basis that if you’re not subscribed to her website, you are missing out, and should go over there and do that. Now.

For veritably choking me with laughter when I saw her last minute entry into the Best Chest Contest, I am going to give the owner of those BEWBS what she needs. A T-Shirt.

A John Carroll T-Shirt.

Kudos to the designer