tragic discovery at local park: peep down.

While enjoying a sunshiny day at a local Texas park last week, I made a tragic discovery. Like a train wreck, it both repulsed and attracted me.

We have a Peep down, people.

I repeat, PEEP DOWN.

Oh, the humanity.

The mushy, sticky, crunchy sweet goodness of this Peep will never be enjoyed by one of its many adoring fans. A moment of silence, please.

This post is dedicated, with love and gentle solace, to Megan, who may be the world’s greatest champion of Peeps and the first person I thought of when I made this tragic discovery. I know she will weep at this injustice.

Woooo-hooooo!

Just a quick update to let you all know that Candy Mountain Consumption 08 was a blast!

Oh, and Braden really didn’t eat all THAT much candy – after all, most of the crap they sell is too dangerous for him (Runts = Choking Hazard, Laffy Taffy = Certain Death, etc) and anything chocolate has milk in it, which he can’t have. So he’s the SweetTarts Kid.

If you’ll notice above, he’s after Mommy’s heart by being obsessive and weird – stacking them up before eating them.

God, I love that freakazoid.

Before we started the gluttony fest, “we” made this Jack-O-Mutant:

Then we broke out The Canday.

Braden ate just enough SweetTarts so that he started chasing the dog all over the house, repeating his name over and over and over and over again.

“Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack, Zack….”

The Mexican showed great restraint and did not cut him or yell, “Shut up, eeediot!”

Later, I heard a crunching noise and looked over to see why The Mexican was being nice. Braden was slipping SweetTarts to him, too.

And so the chain of candy sharing was lengthened, and all was good.

PS: I made sure the fetus got a taste of every single type of candy that Braden couldn’t have.

It’s Halloween and what am I going as?

Nothing.  Big.Fat.Nothing.

Which, incidentally, is also exactly what I’ve felt like doing lately.  I’m completely tired, nauseated, and unmotivated to do much of anything other than exist and maybe eat some Tums so I don’t yack.

I used to actually dress up.  I even made John do it!  Proof:

Also?  Braden is going as nothing this year, too.  Yes, I suck.  Last year, he was a totally cute Bee – and we stayed at home to hand out candy.

We’re staying at home to hand out candy again, but I decided not to subject him to the torture of wearing one of the many costumes I thought would be really adorable on him – but had a part that has to go on the child’s head.

Because, do you know what would happen if something had to go on Braden’s head?

THE WORLD WOULD EXPLODE.

I mean, you should thank him for immediately RIPPING off anything I try to put on his head, while wailing and gnashing his teeth, giving me looks that technically should cause my face to melt right off and drip on the floor.  Because clearly, he is SAVING YOU ALL FROM SUDDEN DEATH.  He makes it quite clear (?) that if he left that crap on his head, either the earth would explode or we’d all be raped and mutilated by rabid zombie elfs. (Edit: That’s right. I can’t spell. Elfs. Good grief.)

Either way, WE OWE HIM BIG.

To thank him, I am going to let him ingest unhealthy amounts of sugary candy treats and laugh at the kids that come to our door as he twhirls around and around while consumed by an (almost) never-ending sugar high madness.

I am such a great mother.  You are jealous.  You may never attain this level of wholesome nurturing and gentle parenting with your own children.  It’s okay.

We may also stab, gut, and mutilate a pumpkin in the name of “ornamental lighting.”

Have fun, peeps. There is surely nothing you will be doing that can top our plans, but you know, don’t give up hope.

Weekly Winners

Time for Weekly Winners, October 28 – November 3

For new readers,

(Hi, guys! *waves* I love you!)

this is the time of the week (sunday) where I look back and pick out all my favorite pics and videos from the preceding week, and post them here for your enjoyment.

If you don’t enjoy them, well, that’s a sign that your heart is cold and black. And maybe you should try to stop being all buttholish.

Or something.

Photos

Honeysuckle Hill Farm
A wooded drive. I love those.

Zack, larger than a car.

His first whole apple. *sniff*

Gazing at airplanes, again.

Jack.

His shiny pinwheel.

Proof that my husband is AWESOME.

I’ve been having issues with video editing IN VISTA. Grrrr.

It’s really the only complaint I have about Vista so far… but it’s a BIG DEAL to me, darnit!

Without boring you with the details, the process I have to go through is a major arse-pain right now… so, just a couple videos.

This one… well. I don’t think he’s really saying it… but it sure sounds like it. Excuse the quality… it’s a phone-video, which I won’t usually post, but this was too good to resist.

See if you can hear what he says right before he puts the bottle in his mouth.

I am not happy with this development.
I clearly remember teaching him to call me “whore,” not “bitch.”

 

This one’s just darn cute. He loves reading. I’m hoping that will continue. Observe storytime.

 

 

Hope you guys had a slammin’ week.

My arse is suffering largeness from way too many “fun-size” candybars, and I miss my husband like crazy.

Thanks for keeping me company… I look forward to the continuing the Whoa!GoBlowHos-FoSho! Carnival Ride with you all.

Namaste!

Wanna see more Weekly Winners?

Pure Evil

Thank GOD it is the day before Halloween.

That means only one more day of this damn evil candy sitting on the counter, whispering sweet nothings to me, and luring me to it so that I smash into the rocks (of FATNESS)…. I am Odysseus! I must tie myself to the table leg, so the Sirens (candy pieces) do not tempt me over to them!

Heh.

Why is it that every year, I almost eat more of the freaking candy “for the trick-or-treaters” than I actually hand out to the lil’ munchkins?

Am I the only one with this problem?

*hangs head in shame*

I think I hear beautiful singing coming from the kitchen… have to go now….