Posts Tagged canon

Time and Space

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Guest Post, Photography, Poetry, Stories, Writing on January 8, 2009

As long as I can remember I have been drawn to abandoned buildings, corroded weed-covered cars, churches whose bricks have crumbled upon each other, dilapidated barns, and houses that have been left to ruin. I look at them and wonder. Who worked there? Did they drive that car to the prom? Where did the people who prayed there go? And why aren’t they praying there anymore? What kind of animals were tended to in that barn? How many kids played in the yard of that once inhabited house?

I have my parents to thank for this, I believe. Many of our family excursions consisted of getting some ice-cream and taking long drives into the hills and ridges of the towns south of ours. I’d sit in the back seat, looking out to find these old dwellings, and I’d make up stories about them. Being an only child I had a vast imagination, so this was something I did often.

Luckily I met and married a man who shared my love and appreciation for long country drives. Often times we’d take off, on our motorcycle, zooming through the Allegheny Mountains. I’d be on the back of the bike, looking around, taking it all in, finding beauty everywhere and in everything. In the trees, the weeds, the dirt roads, the broken barns. Then we moved to New Orleans for a couple years. That place is one of insane history and beauty. Everywhere I looked there was some sight to behold and some story for me to happily concoct.

We have since passed along the tradition of the country drive to our children. We pile into our van and head out to explore the mountainous region that we live so close to. Being at the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains there is much to see and it seems that there is an abundance of old and broken-down places. Sometimes we hear complaints about the rides, but the promise of an old-school bottle of Orange Crush or Grape Nehi will usually quell any grumblings.

This past New Year’s Eve the kids and I set out to run some errands. We grabbed some lunch and after our bellies were full, and we had our movies and snacks picked for the evening, I turned down the road that would take us the long way home. We ended up on a little dead-end street that we had never seen before. At the beginning stood a what-used-to-be-white little shack of a house that had a ‘for sale by owner’ sign on it.

“Mama, it looks like there’s some cool stuff in that place. We should stop,” my eldest son, Mikey, said to me.

“I see that, big boy. Let’s go have a look-see,” I replied as I prepared to make a three-point-turn.

I got out and approached the little dwelling, but I didn’t expect to see what I saw. Inside it was as if time stood still. Everything was in it’s place, and it wasn’t of modern time. What was this place? A little restaurant? An office? Who worked there? Who sat smoking at that desk? What kind of cigarettes did they smoke? Was it hot the day they laid the horseshoes in the fresh cement? These are the questions that raced through my mind. Inside and out there were remnants of something different. That “je ne sais quoi” that makes up the beauty of time and space.

10:21

Time stood as still
As the gourds and Indian corn

The once occupied desk empty
Unlike the ashtray and walls

Drinks are no longer cold
And the snack bins are void

Only a rust and dust cover
Can be found

Upon the place where time stands still
Where the clock reads 10:21

-Mishelle Lane
January 1, 2009

______________________________________________________________________________

Mishelle Lane can be found ’shooting from the hip’ at
Secret Agent Mama and Mishelle Lane Photography.

©1974: Macedonian/American Daughter, Wife, Mother, Cousin, Niece, True Friend, Coffee Snob, Photographer, Home Schooler, Blogger, Music Lover, Ex-Smoker, Gun Shooter, Lead Foot Taxi Driver, Dog Person, Laundry Bitch, Head Cook, Hip Soccer Mama, Weight Battler, and so much more.

50mm f/1.4, abandoned, appreciation for old stuff, barns, canon, cars, country drives, old, Photography, poetry, Secret Agent Mama, storytelling

32 Comments

Mutha Uckas.

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Humor, Rant, Stories on September 16, 2008

About a year ago, I badly wanted a new camera. I really wanted the brand new Canon Powershot G9. My birthday is in October, only a couple months after the release of the G9 to the public, and John said I could consider it my birthday gift and order it. So I did what a cheap-ass does. I found the best price online from a website that APPEARED to have many positive reviews.

The words, “if it seems to good to be true, it probably is” have strong application here.

I got, for lack of a better way of putting it (and no desire for a better way) – totally and completely dicked around by the asshatians at 86th Street Photo and Video. Yeah, you can go ahead and mark it down to never do business with them. First it was in stock, then it was on back order for 2 weeks, then it was on back order for 5 more weeks. I canceled my order. And was intensely pissed off. And decided to make due with my old camera. So no birthday present, no new camera.

Recently, I decided I’d like to try for that G9 again – I really am ready for a new camera, and once again my birthday is coming up, so I was thinking I’d find a way to have that camera for my birthday this year. So I found another good price online (somebody just shake the dumb out of me, please?) and saved up my ad revenue until I had enough. A week ago, I placed the order.

When I didn’t receive an email confirmation within 24 hours, I got annoyed. 2 days after placing the order, I called. After being on hold long enough for my pubes to turn grey, a customer service rep confirmed my order#, my name & address, and the product I had ordered. He said it would ship by the next day and to enjoy it.

Today was one full week from that conversation, and no camera. And, uh, they are not based ON THE MOON, so I figured that was too long, and I called again.

After being on hold for another insanely long amount of time, a man said, “How can I help you, Sir?” (Apparently the news has gotten around that I have a penis.)

I said, “Well, I’m not a “Sir,” but I do hope you can help me. I need to track an order.”

“What’s your order number?”

“55968832″

“That’s an invalid number – there is no such order.”

“I talked to a customer rep with your company just a week ago and confirmed my name, address, and product order, and said it was being shipped to me the next day, so how can that be?!”

“Well, I don’t know who you talked to, but that’s not an order.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, I know I placed the order and got a confirmation by voice.”

“Well, sometimes things are on backorder and what you can do is either wait until they come in or cancel your order and place it again when the product is back in again.”

“You know, this is really ridiculous, it was bad enough that I didn’t get–”

“Ok, we’ll cancel the order–”

“Excuse me, I was talking. It’s exceptionally rude of you to interrupt me and tell me you’re cancelling my order. That is NOT good customer service. This entire experience has been a horrible customer service event. What is your name?”

“John.”

“Okay, John, I DO want to cancel my order, and I will NOT be placing it again. Your business practices are irresponsible and unacceptable.”

“Okay, your order is cancelled.”

He went on to give me a confirmation number for the cancel (after I demanded it) and then practically hung up on me. Add Prestige Camera to your list of places to NEVER do business with.

Also, be aware that when the price is low (probably wholesale) and you don’t add on any of the insanely high priced accessories they also sell, you will probably be put into a situation where you will want to cancel your order… because they WANT you to cancel it. It’s a type of “bait and switch” tactic — they draw you in with the low price on the main item, then convince you to buy accessories with hugely marked up prices. They make all their $$ off of the sale of the price-inflated accessories, and if you don’t buy those, selling to you at wholesale is a loss for them. So it is to their advantage to make you want to cancel.

Nice, right?

These are the types of businesses I’d like to nuke. Or smother in dog diarrhea. Either would make me smile a little.

It makes me unhappy to know that they have my name, address, and credit card information, too, as some of these places are actually just fronts for identity theft rings. Here’s hoping they don’t steal all our millions of cents.

Mutha uckas.

The mutha uckas run a rip-off uckin’ biznas.
Mutha uckas won’t sell me a cam wit no assessories!
The shi- fight’s gonna get vicious and malicious.
Cut the cra- I need my cameralicious!

Too many mutha uckas uckin’ wih mah shi.
How many mutha uckas?
Too many to count!
Mutha uckas.
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