What you get when I’m saving you from the really bad posts I’ve written.

I’ve written a lot of posts lately.

But I haven’t published many.  Why?

No, it’s not because I was too busy taking pictures of my fat ass.

It’s because they are all either weepy and sad or angry and bitter.  And, contrary to what you may think, they are not all about the whole miscarriage thing.

Apparently I’m angry and bitter, and feeling ranty and shitty about lots of things.

And towards lots of people. Whoa, Nelly.  That just ain’t kosher, eh? I’m trying to BE A GOOD PERSON.

See that Tagline up there in my header?

“because survival requires humor”

I really do believe that.

But my funny isn’t sustaining enough for me to write good humor posts lately.  And that PISSES ME OFF.

And also?  I’m tired of eating beans and staring at the $12,000 in medical bills we’ve accumulated these past few months.

Because farts are funny, and all, but this?  This is not funny.  This is depressing.

And depressing farts don’t really make very good humor posts.

So I’ll go back to writing my private, weepy, rantlike, depressing, shitty posts on my computer. And then not publishing them.

But I’ll whine to you about it.  SINCE THAT IS OH SO FUNNY, RIGHT?

Just punch me in the face and get it over with.

*farrrrt*

(don’t laugh, that was a depressing one… couldn’t you tell by the tone? amateurs.)

Compie Update & me ordering you to be my poem writing slaves.

Okay, quick compie update. Dropped computer off with awesome and super hot handsome and wonderful Tech Geeks today. Lugged the comp into the shop while pushing stroller, and one came running to help me. See? Super Wonderful and stuff. He said could be software issue, could be the hard drive (choking on own spit). His words: “If it’s the hard drive… well… it is what it is.” (blank stare of death)

Okay!

And, as I type this, the old comp I’m using is making… interesting sounds. Like, it literally sounds as if the thing is ripping farts occasionally. So, needless to say, I’m in a hurry to finish this and shut it off.

I have a fun proposition. Well, it could be a complete disaster, but I think it will be fun.

Neil did this fun thing where he wrote a poem with a friend… it’s really very good, go read it.

I want you guys to write a poem here. No, I’m not going to help. That would TOTALLY downgrade the whole “lazy douche” thing I have going. I would never want to do that! In fact, I’m thinking of changing the name of the website to Lazy Douche. Not sure yet.

ANYWAY.

I want you to write a haiku series in the comments section, like I post here on most Fridays.

What’s a Haiku? Read this if you want to know what Wikipedia has to say about it.

All you need to know though is that it’s a poem with 3 lines.  The first line has to be 5 syllables, second line is 7 syllables, 3rd line is 5 syllables.

(Again, you can click on “Fridays” above and see my past examples if you’re not sure.)

Got it? Okay. First commenter drops a five syllable line. When you get here, look at the last comment and figure out what to do next.

I know that there will be screwups and such, like people posting at the same time, but let’s just roll with the punches. When it’s all said and done, I’ll clean it up, and the end result will post here this Friday as my Haiku Friday Post.

Each line of yours that gets used will become a link back to you (if you have a website).

Yay! Make me proud, you wonderful people.