Bewb Fest ’10 – Call for Submissions!
It’s that time of year, my friends. Oh, yes.
I’m calling the bewbs out to play.
(see below for details.)
mah bewbies. © lotus carroll 2010, all rights reserved
It’s time for BEWB Fest 10!
Bewb Fest ’10 is waiting in the wings, just around the corner, and that means you need to dress up those tatas in their best ‘ready for my close-up’ threads and send me a photo.
Confused? Visit the Bewbs Page on my website and scroll down to the links about Bewb Fest. There you can ogle all the fantastic photos read up on the history of Bewb Fest.
Last year, a separate MEWBs Category was added and this tradition will continue. What are MEWBS? Man Boobs, Pecs, Male Chest… get the idea? As long as I get at least 3 entries for MEWBs, we’ll have this category again.
All sizes and types of BEWBs/MEWBs are welcome and appreciated here.
That means don’t you dare say yours aren’t good/large/whatever enough.
Yes. They. Are.
So get out your camera and photograph your dirty pillows, ladies. Shine up that lens and snap a good one of your pec area, dudes.
And then send those suckas to me via bewbfest@gmail.com
***
_____________________
***
Rules for Photo Submission:
1. BEWBs need to be tastefully covered in some way. This ain’t no nipple show, ladies. Sorry.
2. Yes, it is okay to send a breastfeeding photo, if you still fall within all the other rules. Bewbs are hawt AND functional, and there needn’t be a separation in those instances.
3. MEWBs can be covered or uncovered. Yes, we are all about double standards here at BEWB Fest. Deal with it or #suckit.
4. Please send me only ONE photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs. I know you are a gifted photographer, and your chestal area looks awesome from many angles. Choose your favorite and send me that one.
5. Please make sure your photograph is no larger than 550px wide, and no smaller than 300px wide. Please, good quality.
6. No text anywhere on the photo, please!
7. I’m sure your face is what dreams are made of. Let us dream. NO CONTESTANT FACES IN PHOTOS!
8. Your email to bewbfest@gmail.com should include: your photo, your preferred name/screen identity, your blog name and URL (if you have one)
9. No submissions accepted after July 10, 2010. Don’t put it off until the last minute!
***
_____________________
***
Prizes!
Oh, and are you wondering what the winners of this year’s Bewb/Mewb Fest will be receiving as a prize for their hard work willingness to let us have a gander? You’re probably dying to know. Well…
Lingerie.com, Bare Necessities, and Eden Fantasys are sponsoring Bewb Fest ’10 – click over to the Sponsors/Prizes Page to find out the awesome details!
And because bewbies are not only fun to look at, but also attached to women we’d all like to save (so that we can look at their bewbies some more because everyone deserves a chance to live as long as they possibly can), all Blogher ad revenue for the month of July will be donated to Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, “the world’s largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists.” It doesn’t have to be October for us to make donations, so if you can spare some dollah-dollahs, it’s a good cause to support in June or July, too. Please consider donating.
***
_____________________
***
I will take photo submissions through July 10, 2010. Voting will open on July 12, 2010 and run through July 21st. The winners will be announced on July 22nd, 2010.
Now go go go, photograph those bewbies/mewbies!
And remember to tell your friends. 
Still have questions? Email me at bewbfest@gmail.com
BEWB Fest 09 – Call for submissions!
Have you been longing to take a photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs but just didn’t know what on earth you’d do with it?
That’s why I’m here, people. To help you solve these kinds of crises.
It’s time for BEWB Fest 09!
That’s right… last year we voted for Best BEWBs in honor of Lightning’s Traveling T-Shirt.
Kaiser Mommy won; Nikki & Tena were runners up!
And with that began the idea for BEWB Fest, which is now an annual event at Casa SarcMom.
This year, we have a separate MEWBs Category (Man Boobs, Pecs, Male Chest, get the idea?) – because Sarcastic Mom loves the menfolks and is all about inclusion. We don’t leave out any chests here!
All sizes and types of BEWBs/MEWBs are welcome and appreciated here.
So get our your camera, and photograph your dirty pillows, ladies. Shine up that lens and snap a good one of your pec area, dudes.
And then send those suckas to me via bewbfest@gmail.com
Rules for Photo Submission:
1. BEWBs need to be tastefully covered in some way. This ain’t no nipple show, ladies. Sorry.
2. MEWBs can be covered or uncovered. Yes, we are all about double standards here at BEWB Fest. Deal with it or #suckit.
3. Please send me only ONE photo of your BEWBs/MEWBs. I know you are a gifted photographer, and your chestal area looks awesome from many angles. Choose your favorite and send me that one.
4. Please make sure your photograph is no larger than 550px wide, and no smaller than 300px wide. Please, good quality.
5. No text anywhere on the photo, please!
6. I’m sure your face is what dreams are made of. Let us dream. NO FACES IN PHOTOS!
7. Your email to bewbfest@gmail.com should include: your photo, your preferred name/screen identity, your blog name and URL (if you have one)
This year’s fabulous BEWB Fest Sponsors?
Please click over to this page to see who they are and what you’re playing for.
I will take photo submissions through June 22, 2009. Voting will open on June 24, 2009 and run through June 30. The winners will be announced on July 1, 2009.
Now go go go, photograph them bewbies/mewbies!
Definitely Good For The Kids
From time to time, I try to get involved in something that isn’t entirely self-absorbed. It’s really hard, because I’m a lazy, narcissistic douchebag most of the time.
Today, I’m going to step out of my Lotus Burrito (get it? I’m all wrapped up in ME!) for a few moments and talk about a Blogger Challenge designed to help raise money for public schools.
Deep South Moms has accepted the 2008 Donors Choose Bloggers Challenge.
I am fully supporting this, and I’d like to ask you for your support as well. You can see the widget on my left sidebar, and if you’d like to help, you can grab that widget, too. Just click HERE. Placing that widget on your sidebar, and especially posting about it, will help!
Of course, giving a donation to one of the proposals at the DSM Donors Choose Challenge page would be greatly appreciated. There is no donation too small or too big when we’re talking about supporting the education of our children.
stockxpert.com
To motivate you to give, I’m teaming up with Good For The Kids to offer you a prize. You’ll have a chance to win a $40 Gift Certificate to Good For The Kids for helping out HERE with a donation.
Click through HERE, choose a proposal from that page, and make the donation of your choice. Afterwards, come back here and tell me you donated and you’ll be entered into the pool from which the winner will be drawn.
All who make a donation HERE in the next two weeks and comment here that that they have done so will be entered into the pool of possible winners. You have a chance to enter from now until 11:59PM, CST October 15th, 2008.
On October 16th, one entrant will be randomly drawn and will receive the $40 GFTK Gift Certificate.
If your name is drawn as the winner but you did not actually make a donation, we will draw another winner.
So, come on! Help Deep South Moms and me do something Good For The Kids!
_______________________________________________________
For more information about the Deep South Moms 2008 Donors Choose Bloggers Challenge, visit here.
_______________________________________________________
I don’t care if it makes me seem desperate and pathetic. I am.
Remember yesterday when I mentioned that I had been joking around on Plurk this past Saturday night about what I was going to give John for Father’s Day?
One incredibly sneaky lady suggested I buy “him” a Dyson. Quite a lovely idea, and ohhh, how I LONG to own a Dyson. The thing is… uh. They cost Money. Yes, with a capital “M.” And what I mean is, they cost A LOT of money. More than we can afford.
I’ve heard terrible stories of a couple who tried to offer their baby up as payment for a nice vehicle that they obviously really, really wanted. And people, I was horrified. I mean, I was completely taken aback at how careless, heartless and sick some parents really are. A car!? You would give up your own flesh and blood for a structure of metal that you can ride around in? SERIOUSLY?! Appalling.
But if it had been a Dyson? A DC25, maybe? I would totally understand.
Our old POS Vacuum died about a month ago, and the carpet is now made of a blanket of my fallen hair, discarded cereal pieces, lint, random threads (where the hell do those come from???) and some unidentifiable things that I probably could identify if I really wanted to, but that I’d rather be in denial about. It’s called “coping.” It’s also called “gross.”
The old POS now does no more than push dirt around the floor. This is really handy if you’re trying to improve the whole Feng Shui of your dwelling by moving particular pieces of rubbish around the room so that they are arranged in a more harmonious and pleasing manner. You know, so they help channel the energy through the room instead of just sticking to your damn soles when you walk through, barefoot, making you hop like an idiot to see what the hell is on your foot, then lose balance and face plant on the floor.
Yeah. I’m not interested in being the “vehicle” by which the accumulated carpet dreck in my house travels from room to room. What am I? Some kind of Tourist Trolley for Vacationing Cracker Crumbs? I should buy a microphone and start announcing the spots of interest in our house.
“Over here, you can see the mural Braden drew on the kitchen wall! Lotus sure did make fun of John online for that one! But don’t miss this! Here’s where karma bit Lotus on the ass for making fun of John! If we turn around and look back, we can even catch a glimpse of the stove Lotus punished. Now, let’s head upstairs to see the former spot for the container of Evil Ones, now hidden and unused for almost two weeks….”
Maybe someone can come stand outside the door and sell cheesy maps of the Carroll Hot Spots to the incoming Dirtatious and Pollenese Sight-Seers.
Okay, okay, the POS does more than just push dirt around. I will have to admit that it actually does suck up a crumb or two periodically. Then, when you lift it (just don’t lift it, for God’s sake, don’t) it spits out every piece of dirt/stink/hair/crumb/trash that has ever been on any floor you’ve ever walked on. Never mind the fact that this is an impossibility. It DOES. And then all the crap that spews out of the POS flies all over the floor, even into the next room and onto THAT floor. Pieces of long-forgotten crap hit your legs on the way out of the room, bruising you and even digging small gouges into the surface of the skin. Crumb shaped gouges. Soooo sexy, really.
So, you can see that I could really use a new vacuum. And anyone who owns one will tell you, a Dyson vacuum cleaner can perform miracles. Seriously, I heard that this one guy’s sister’s best friend’s hairdresser’s mom knew this chick who met a guy at the bus station whose dentist’s father’s next door neighbor’s daughter was brought back to life by a Dyson. Really. That is some heavy shit, man.
Can you tell how badly I want a Dyson?
I did enter a giveaway contest for one. The button for it is on my left sidebar. See that pretty Dyson? It is literally THE EXACT MODEL I have thought of selling my soul to the devil for been wanting so badly. It must be God playing a really mean joke on me my fate, and it’s destiny that I’ll be broken hearted come June 25 win!
I need to win this contest so badly that when I think about it, it makes me feel funny. And not in a good way, like when you used to climb the ropes in gym class. In a ‘super panicky yet somewhat dreamlike and euphorically uplifting, while realizing that I may vomit at any moment’ kind of way.
If you enter it too, now, and win? I will kill you with my bare hands if you don’t give it to me out of the extreme generosity that flows from within you and the kindness of your soft, vulnerable, beating heart – as well as a deep, evolutionarily adaptive fear for your life.
The Travelling T-Shirt Meets The Rack
I’ve had a pretty fun time joking about my rack on this lovely website. I have hailed The Glorious Rack in all its wonder… I have also called it a couple of socks with oranges in them behind The Rack’s back… shhhh.
“The Rack” gained popularity after I did this fun giveaway, and it’s been a running gag here ever since.
I’m even celebrating each month of 2008 with a picture of The Rack.
And now? The Rack has met The Travelling T-Shirt.
What is The Travelling T-Shirt, you ask?
The Official Words:
The Travelling T-Shirt has come from Lightening Online and is making its way around the world until December 1st when one lucky participant will be voted a winner and Lightening will gift that person a cash amount (determined by the total number of participants). For more information please visit the Travelling T-Shirt page.
I am honored to say that The Rack has been The Travelling T-Shirt‘s first stop on the glorious journey it will no doubt take between now and December. Bloggers All Over The Place will have a chance to do silly and fun things with The Travelling T-Shirt and then pass it on to others. Every time it gets passed, the Cash Jackpot grows!
Each blogger gets to decide how the next will be chosen…
So…
I want to see your rack.
Send me your (clothed) BEWBS! (Seriously. No unfettered Melons, please.)
And yes! Men are welcome to join in. Ante up those PECS!
This post is up at 12:01AM CST, Tuesday June 3rd. You have until 10:00PM CST, Wednesday June 4th to photograph Your Rack in all its Glory, and send your photo to me: thelotuscarroll@gmail.com
That’s almost 2 whole days, so I better get lots of Awesome BEWBS and PECS in my inbox!
On Thursday, The Masses will excercise the Power of The Vote! That’s right… YOU will decide whose BEWBS or PECS I will send The Travelling T-Shirt to next! (By anonymous poll.)
Now grab your rack and your camera and get to it! I’m waiting! 
*BEWBS*
(sorry, just wanted to type it one more time)
Prove your love…
“…got to prove your love… if you want to be with me tonight!”
(If you understood that, you are old like me.)
My Fabulous friend, the Wonderful Mrs. Fussypants, is having a caption contest!
Show me how much you love me by going over there and voting for my caption!
Seriously! This is your chance to make sure I get a piece of her awesome hand-made jewelry!
And, you know, if you “buy” me jewelry, I’ll be forced to put out.
Updated to add: Of course, if you think one of the other captions is better, please vote for that one instead. But just vote! And check out the rest of Fussy’s page and her jewelry designs! She rocks.
Check Out My Rack
It has never looked finer than it does right now, with one of these badass shirts gracing it!
I know what you might be thinking.
“But Lotus, your rack is splendid every day!”
While this may be true, you cannot deny the added glory of the LTDchix shirt.
Have you seen these shirts? GO LOOK AT THEM.
And GUESS WHAT!?
You have the chance to win one.*
That’s right. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post, and by the end of the week, one of you lucky commenters will be randomly chosen to win a free LTDchix shirt! You get to choose the one you like and the lovely ladies of LTDchix (Nina and Cindi) will send it to you, free of charge. (does not include the thermals, sorry!)
These shirts really make a statement that any mom can identify with.
If you’re a mom, you’ll love them! If you’re not a mom, I guarantee that you know a mom that would love one – win her Christmas present now!
Moms:
Remember when you were pregnant for the first time, and dreaming of the wonderful motherhood journey you would experience? You were going to have a little bundle of joy and raise and nurture him/her to be a happy, loving child… living happily ever after, etc…
Then reality set in. Now you’re wise to the Pooperiffic, Drooly, Screamalicious truth of it all!
You juggle seventy-three hundred things in your head at once, never sleep, and have dirty laundry shooting out your butt.
You are/will be a nanny, maid, wetnurse, cook, bus boy, chauffer, dispute resolution advisor, janitor, nurse, and more!
The fairy-tail dream you once had sometimes feels like a nightmare.
Once you’re ACTUALLY a mom, you realize what a fantasy you were mentally creating for yourself while you were pregnant. But the great thing is, that even once your fantasy is completely obliterated, it’s still the best life you’ve ever lived!
Truly Amazing.
That is what these shirts celebrate. With one of them on, you can show everyone that you’re “Living the Dream!”
And now let’s close with another look at my rack.
PS: Mention this giveaway in a post and link it back to this one, and get entered twice!**
Show Sponsors
The Awesome
