I have a confession.

I’m a nag.

Yup. N-A-G.

And it REALLY bothers me.

It’s just that… I have this disgusting moral compass. (*groan*) And this gnawing sense of needing to behave responsibly.

I know, I know, who would have thought it?

I am full of plenty of silly. Alway have been…

…the members of the family I grew up in always acted like complete nutballs. There was encouragement from both the immediate and extended family to act… well… weird.

And the regular family home-life was pretty relaxed and often just downright silly. This was sometimes good: Farts at the dinner table are funny! This was also sometimes bad: Farts at the dinner table are funny!

However, somewhere along the line, my parents must have taught me that you can’t always just be selfish and carefree: Sometimes there are Things That Need To Be Done and in many situations there are Ways We Very Well Should Behave. Shucks, a lot of times there are Circumstances That Should Be Considered Before Acting!

It’s just that the whole “Responsible, Mature Adult” me is, and always has been, battling with the “WhoopDee Dooo! Let’s Have Fun!” me.

The Responsible, Mature Adult Me:
“Wow, the electric bill is $169 this month. We’re going to have to find some good sales and use coupons on groceries this next few weeks. I was also thinking maybe we should downgrade the cable to save money.”
The WhoopDee Dooo! Let’s Have Fun! Me:
“AHAHAHAHA…hahahahahaaaaaaaa, SIXTY-NINE! It says, “69!” *rolling on the floor laughing* “Hey, let’s go get tacos!” *walks out of room leaving all lights on*

In relationships, this duplexity has always caused problems for me.

Responsible Adult:
“Marijuana consumption is unhealthy, and besides, it’s a waste of money and time. Stop being such a loser.”
Mrs. WhoopDee Dooo!:
“Duuuuude. *puff,pass,coughcough* Heh. Heh. Hehehehe. Did you just say 69? Teeheeeheeeheeeeee… I’m gonna take a nap now. Where are we? And are there any tacos?”

Or…

Responsible Adult:
“Moving from one state to another directly after completing Graduate School (late, I might add, young lady) for LOVE of all things, when you don’t even know if you can find a job there, and you’re going to live (out of wedlock) with a man you met ONLINE, is not only immature, impetuous, and foolish, it’s completely lacking of any degree of responsibility, planning, and preparation! You should be shot for even considering it.”
Mrs. WhoopDee Dooo!:
“Duuuude. He is so cute and fun. And you sooo love him! And they have GREAT tacos in Texas! I’m tooootally in!”

I have a feeling I’m not the only one that has this battle regularly - the classic picture of the angel and devil sitting on one’s shoulder comes to mind. But I’m the only one inside my own head being annoyed by my own battle.

I feel very trapped by these dueling parts of my personality. The dichotomy of character constantly makes me feel like I’m struggling to decide who I want to be – what’s right? What makes me happy? What makes US happy? What will have the best outcome for our family? What do I just freakin’ FEEL like doing? *pulls on hair*

I feel like I should be going gung-ho in one or the other direction, and quite frankly, at this point in life, I don’t think it’s Mrs. WhoopDee Dooo! The best I can do is continue to maintain both of these combating personalities, as I always have.

BUT. I really, really, really need to feel like I’m not the only one around here who’s making the responsible, adult decisions. Because DAMNIT I don’t want to be Responsible Adult Me, anyway! And then there’s this other (really cute, very small) human being I have to take care of now, and so I really have to be Responsible Adult Me! But, you know, it’s a lot easier to be Responsible Adult when you’re not the only Responsible Adult on your team, dig? So… sometimes… when I’m feeling stressed (bitchy, hormonal, PMS?… just ME?) and all of a sudden I feel that I AM the only one being Responsible Adult. Well…

Nag.

NAGNAGNAGNAG.

And also? Naggity-Nag-Nag-NagginHeimer P. Nagenstein.

And then?

Well, then Mrs. WhoopDee Doo! is all:
“Harsh, Lotus, tooootally harsh. Why do you have to get your panties all in a wad? I’ll bet you could have diamonds if you shoved some coal in that ole’ hiney. Plus? Your Dude is sooo not diggin you when you’re like this. Really. Harsh. But, hey! Let’s go get some tacos!”
But Responsible Adult is all:
“Dear Mrs. WhoopDee Dooo!: You are such an immature peon. Have you even bathed this week? A Taco is the last thing you need, have you seen your REAR lately? Good lord, woman, buy a clue. You just be quiet for a moment. Do you even know how to do that? And sit still, for Pete’s Sake! You could use a hefty dose of Ritalin. I need to have a word with The Husband. He really NEEDS to know about the Things That Need To Be Done … And a thing or two about this and that, such as Ways We Very Well Should Behave… and while I’m at it, I’m going to give him the lecture about Circumstances That Should Be Considered Before Acting.“ *puts a gag on Mrs. WhoopDee Dooo! and lets husband have it*

Inevitably, though I believe everything I’ve said, I feel like an ass, and I wonder if my husband likes me less for every time he has to listen to Responsible Adult Me. And, honestly? I just want to be WhoopDee Dooo! Lotus all the time.

Is anyone else tired of being a nag? Hell, let’s go get some tacos.

Pin It

That there would be three.

It was Thanksgiving
and we were with family.
Then, time to go home.

In the car we spoke.
We agreed that it was time
to make three from two.

Nervous, excited.
Unsure? Sure. Afraid? Secure.
We’re gonna do it!

The pill for that day
still sits in its plastic case
with all of its friends.

Two months after that
life sprung forth inside of me.
Braden existed.

On Valentine’s Day
I gave my best friend a gift -
The news of his child.

In October we
laid eyes on a being who was
the sum of our love.

Life has changed for us
in so many, varied ways.
We’d never turn back.

Pin It

Photo Hunt, #3: I Love _______

At November 17, 2007
By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
In Husband, Love, Marriage, My Son, Parenting, Photography, Photohunt, Relationships
40

Theme for November 17th, 2007: “I Love _______.”

I think the answer here is obvious. Cheese.

Haha, just kidding. It’s John & Braden, of course.

This photo holds the 2 most important parts of my life. These guys are the reason why I get up in the morning, and they keep me going every day (boy, do they ever). They both make me laugh even when I think there’s no laughter left. Each of them can push my buttons and frustrate me like no other: A sign of true love. I dream of them while I slumber, and when I’m awake in the middle of the night, alone, I miss them both.

Cheese was a close second, though.

Wanna see more Photo Hunt?

Pin It

This Is Why

…we shouldn’t be allowed to have a child:

This is what we’re really like:

And this is what we look like when we pretend we’re pretty.

Pin It

Braden: The First Year, by Month

Tomorrow, my son turns One Year Old.I celebrate early with this.

This photostream represents each month of Braden’s Journey through the first year of his life.

There is an expanded tribute to his first year, Braden: The First Year on his photo page, A Braden A Day.

These collections of photos took me awhile to put together… Seems funny, because the year they represent seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. I want to cry a little.

No. A lot.

That being said, here is:

A Still Photo Documentary of Braden, The First Year, by Months

First Family Photo
October 16, 2006 8:58pm