Lazy Douche Enablers write posts for me every other Tuesday. That way, I can be a much better… you guessed it: Lazy Douche. Today’s Enabler is Sarah, of Sarah and the Goon Squad.

That Sarah, She’s a Classy Gal

When Lotus asked me to guest post I immediately said yes.

And then I remembered that I am not a very good writer. And right after that I remembered that I had completely run out of things to write about on my own blog. And then I felt stupid.

Not that feeling like an idiot is a new emotion for me by any stretch of the imagination.

Oh! That gives me an idea. I could tell you my fart story. This seems like an appropriate venue for a good fart story. Wouldn’t you agree? Here goes nothing.

One time my husband and I were in Orlando for homecoming (I went to The University of Central Florida, and yes actually Daunte Culpepper was a Freshman when I was a Senior.) and we had been drinking like crazy all weekend and eating total garbage. It was after the football game and the plan was that we would all go to our rooms and get cleaned up for dinner. My stomach was a mess. I’d been drinking Miller Light in plastic bottles all day. You know what that can do to a person.

Our good friends Tammy and Ritch were staying two doors down the hall from us and we were going to just meet them in the hall and go down to the lobby to meet the rest of the gang. Gabe opened up the door to our hotel room and I said “Are they out there yet?” He said “No” and then I let out the loudest, raunchiest fart of all time. Then Gabe closed the door.

He said “No, Tammy and Ritch aren’t out there, but other people are. Apparently these “other people” all turned to look at him when the event occurred.

This is one of those things that when it happened I was so glad that it was only me and the person that already promised to spend the rest of his life with me that witnessed the event. (Well, and the others, I suppose but unless they are reading this right now they have no idea it was me.) Of course 40 seconds later when Tammy and Ritch actually came out of their room I immediately blabbed the entire story.

Then I told the internet.

I have no shame.

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If Sarah entertained you today, feel free to check her other stuff out at Sarah and the Goon Squad, Loser Moms, Draft Day Suit, BlogHer, MamaPop… she pretty much writes everywhere.