Let me introduce you to Kevin and Leroy.

We’re a full day into 2008, and I’m going to tell you that NO! I did not forget to post my resolutions.
I just like to show up late for everything.

In 2008, I resolve to:
1. Breathe
2. Eat
3. Continue being a spazzy dork. (Why fight it? Besides, Mrs. Flinger says she’ll be my BF for being just like her in this way.)

(Can you tell I don’t really make serious NY Resolutions?)

Oh yeah, and I would also like to see if I can lose something that I discovered clinging to my back the other day.

Do you SEE THAT THING?  Yes. You do.  Because it’s huge.  I think its name is Kevin.

*gives Kevin the finger*

That is a fat roll that was not there before.  Do you remember my Fatty McFatterton post?  Well, I actually lost 5 lbs in the weeks following that post.  Then… I must have missed them, because I found them all again and even more.  I think there’s something about feeling like crap (aka, the D word) where all my fat cells start campaigning for my hands to shove things into my facehole so that they can multiply, because misery loves company.

Of course, Kevin’s twin brother, Leroy, is currently residing on the other side of my back.

*gives Leroy the finger*

So, anyway.  Yeaaaah.  The other day while I was cramming Mexican food into my facial orifice, I started doing the Happy Food Dance… I was moving my upper body side to side… when suddenly I noticed that…. Uhhh, HELLO?  Part of my back was folding over and touching another part of my back and THAT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

So.  Uh.  Yeah.

And can I just say, for the record… OMG, DID I ACTUALLY SHOW YOU GUYS THAT PICTURE?

I have nowhere to go but up now.