Haiku Friday

There’s nothing quite as
crappy as your little one
being really sick.

Crying, whimpering,
headache, fever, pathetic…
a sad little boy.

Sleeping on the hard
floor in his room is no day
at the park either.

We do what me must
to give them comfort, though, right?
Yeah. *hobbles away*

Rock ‘N Roll All Night

The Boy definitely drove us wild last night.

Last night can only be described as:

HOLY CRAP, THAT WAS THE SUCKIEST NIGHT EVER.

Well, actually, I can remember much worse nights, in the beginning, when Braden was singing like he was auditioning for The Opera from 10pm to 4am, nonstop. And that was definitely worse.

And he didn’t even get the part.

But last night was an out-of-the-blue ass-kicking.

When we were about to give The Boy his Bathie, he felt ‘too warm’ to us, so we took his temperature.

Rectally. I don’t know about you, but jamming something into my kid’s Pooper is one of my absolute favorite things to do. (I also like jamming scissors into my ear, putting my hand over an open flame, and stabbing myself in the eye with a sharpened stick.)

And, YAY! It was 100.7.Ruh-roh!

We instantly started The Panic Routine.

“What do you think is wrong with him? Should we call the doctor? He can’t have the flu! Does he feel too hot to you? Should we check on him again? What could possibly be wrong with him!?”He has been having Ultra-Mega-Baddie Teething just lately. I have read that sometimes kids run a fever when they teeth… granted, this has not occurred with Braden as of yet, but who’s to say it happens every time?

By the way, Molars = SUCK.

In fact, Molars have 2 purposes:

1) Grinding and tearing food.

2) Making a parent’s life a living hell.

Hi! I’m a Molar.

I originate in Hell!

Satan is my Master.

We gave him some baby Ibuprofen (Mmmmm, the brand name tastes best, apparently – thanks, Braden!), did the Bathie, and put him to bed feeling less warm.He cried out several times, and we checked on him periodically even when he didn’t cry out. Around 1am we checked on him and he felt normal to the touch. Woo-hoo!

Early “Woo-Hoo’s” are a bad idea.

We laid in bed talking, laughing, and acting like goofballs until 2am. That’s the Lotus & John Show, regularly scheduled. Then we decided to turn off the bedside light and go to sleep.

Lights off.Braden starts howling.

I’m gonna cut the story from Long, Whiny, and Boring to Somewhat Shorter, but Still Whiny:

He cried, whimpered, fussed, fidgeted… screamed. We gave him more Ibuprofen and changed his diaper. Got up with him over and over, eventually holding, rocking, singing… then putting him down and whispering, patting, rubbing.

No sleep for us until after 5am.

And then he still got up at 8am. You know, because he likes to “rock and roll all night, and party every day…”

Why did I give up drinking again?