But, on the real, I’m totally going ONE DAY, damnit.

So, lots of us actually reading things online today are “the ones who did not go to BlogHer Con.”

The ones who are going will probably be busy travelling to San Fransisco and settling in for the start of the conference on the 18th.

And some of us are jealous, and some of us don’t give a flying fart… some of us are crying into our keyboards, others are claiming sour grapes… some of us are blatantly pissed off, others of us are like, “eh? BlogWho?”  You get the idea.

I basically feel like this:  There are a ton of people all in one place right now who, for some reason or other, do this same thing I enjoy doing.  “Blog.”  Many of them do it for the exact same reasons I do, many have entirely different reasons.  A good handful of them are people I admire, adore even.  And lots of them are intriguing and interesting people I have never even been exposed to, but could meet if I were there.  I would like the opportunity to meet the people I adore, and those I could potentially adore.

I’m settling for pictures of them with a picture of my boobies.  What can I say.  I’m easily amused.

Money is the main reason I’m not there right now.  Ladies and Gents, that shit is expensive.  And, that is not to say that we don’t have enough in savings, finally.  Because we do, after kicking ourselves in our collective ass around here this past several months and scraping every extra penny into a savings account.

(Oh, hello, we can actually be responsible adults with a savings account?  Who knew?  Wow, John and Lotus are growing up! Congrats to them!)

BUT, and here’s where I might sound bitchy, I have to force myself to have some perspective right now.  To have some more sharply focused priorities than spending money to hang wif mah homies.  (This is in NO way a judgement of anyone else’s priorities – it’s about our specific situation - read on!)

I probably could have talked John into letting me spend the money in our savings on the BlogHer trip.  Not necessarily because I’m that persuasive and manipulative (*cough*) but because he loves me dearly and, to a fault, he tries to make me happy.  (The man changed out of his PJ’s the other night to go buy me ice cream, did you read about that on Twitter?  Clearly, a saint among mortals.)

But we have some lofty goals, like paying off my student loan (which I got so I could get that M.A. that I am so obviously using the hell out of right now, see? ugh.), creating a medical fund (hai, we have no health insurance, kthxbai), buying a larger family vehicle (Honda Civic not going to cut it if we ever actually succeed at having a second child), and actually having enough of a downpayment saved to buy a house again.  Because, I’m sorry, but renting sucks donkeys.

Those are big, bad, crazy dreams, my friends.  And we’d like to attain them in no more than the next 2-4 years.  Which, when starting with no savings, is pretty damn adventurous and hopeful.  But certainly not Un-Doable.

Not Un-Doable at all… With a lot of sacrifice of things not absolutely necessary, and a lot of forced prioritizing.

Which means no hanging wif mah homies that costs $1000+, no new camera, no lots of stuff I would really reee-heee-heeeeeaaaally like.

And?  It’s totally going to be worth it.  So, while I’m a bit jealous, that’s it.  I’m not uber upset.

(But once we have our house and ect., I am GOING to BlogHer, and I’m rooming with her and I’m absolutely licking her.)

I wrote this post because several people have been surprised that I’m not going to BlogHer Con, and asked me why.  Now ya know!

I think I left my heart in Austin, TX.

Because every time something reminds me of the time when I lived there, my chest aches.

I miss you, Austin.

I miss the friends I made there. I miss the guy for whom all food is Mexican. I miss the redhead with the unruly toddler who asked me, “did you smell my toot?” I miss the die-hard bargain shopper who loves all things lemon and tea.  I miss the guy who showed me “too many colors!”  I miss the kitchen ninja who made my hair become strands of many hues. I miss that lovely blonde girl who autographed my boobie. I miss the unruly, late-night-TC-eating, prankster.  I miss she of the ripped skirt. I miss them all.

I miss hating, loving, and being challenged by my job. I miss my bosses, my employees, and my customers. (I also kind of don’t miss my bosses or my customers. There were moments, okay?) I miss late night floor changes that made me want to rip my face off, followed by late night drinking with co-workers, where I generally laughed what was left of my face off.  I miss being late to work, because it meant I had a schedule.  I miss being a part of the outside world.

I miss Pastor Jeff and his Hawaiian shirts. I miss how he looks kind of like Phil Jackson, but in a cuddly, teddy bear way. I miss being a greeter at church and holding the door for people. I miss the feeling of being in the place where I was baptised.

I miss our large dog in the backyard who used to chew pieces of our house off when he got bored. I miss the way he was over 100lbs, but The Mexican, at 5lbs, was in charge of him. Because he was a gentle giant.  I miss how when we first got them both as puppies, they drove me crazy until I thought I would rip all my hair from my head.  I miss the way they used to play together and bring me endless joy.

I miss giggling like a school girl, but then kind of throwing up in my mouth a little, as we passed by Hippie Hollow on our way to other spots along Lake Travis. I miss playing at the lake all day and then sipping a margarita on the deck of The Oasis. I miss feeling sun drunk and heady, sitting on that deck, set into the side of the cliff, as I stared into John’s eyes while the sun set over the water right below us. I miss the way they used to ring the bell right at the moment the sun slipped below the horizon, and how everyone in the whole place clapped.

I miss celebrating the sunset with strangers.

I miss living in the house we owned together… young, careless, stupid. I miss late-night partying and reckless behavior. I miss deciding to sleep until noon, just because it felt so cuddly in his embrace. I miss going out just for doughnuts at 2am if we felt like it. I miss taking my youth for granted. I miss being carefree.

I miss my garden. I miss being able to dig up whatever part of the yard I damn well pleased and plant anything my heart desired there. I miss the lime tree I planted just so that I’d never have a Corona in my hands that lacked a lime. I miss living where a lime tree would actually thrive.

I miss Taco Cabana. Whataburger. Kerbey Lane. CHUYS. (I would kill a man with my bare hands right now for that creamy jalapeno dip.)

I miss this guy quite a lot:

More Cory Morrow

I miss bare-foot weather 361 days of the year and more blue skies with puffy clouds than you can dream.

I miss the way you look, the way you feel, and who I was when I was with you, Austin.

I could go on, but what’s the point, really?

I miss you, Austin.

I wonder if you miss me.

The rest of the story…

This past week has been
very long and so tiring.
There is much to tell.

To make long story
short, please read this post and then
come back and finish.

Okay. Now you know
the heart of the mold problem.
And you are outraged?

Asked to terminate
lease last Friday, but we were
ignored all week long.

We figured that we
will leave here no matter what;
need a place to live.

Well, we’ve been looking
for a house to rent all week,
so we can leave here.

Over and over
we “just missed” getting a house -
“Someone else got it.”

So much FRUSTRATION.
Home, John started falling ill.
So hard to keep going.

Found another one
and looked at it on Wednesday.
We really liked it.

While we were in it
looking around, a woman
walked in to look, too.

Would she beat us to
apply, taking the house off
the market once more?

Like I said it’s been
such a very long week and
my wits were frazzled.

I had crying fests.
We gave written documents
to our manager.

The documents were
strongly worded and we gave
them prints of photos.

Wednesday night I was
just ready to fall asleep.
Awake was too hard.

But I saw that there
are friends here who want to help
us leave this HELLHOLE.

Angie rocks my rack here.
And tells you how you can help
us move away, too.

Victoria, too!
She’s also trying to help
me get Braden out.

And Dawn! She posted
so that people would see the
ways to help us out.

I cried last night and
it was the good kind of cry.
I felt loved by them.

They say it’s darkest
before the dawn, and that means
get ready for good?

I wasn’t ready.
In fact, I was thinking that
the worst would happen.

Today we got news.
Owner will let us out of
lease with no more pay!

I cried, crapped my pants,
and did a dance of joy, all
at the same time. Wow.

Also, guess what else?
Application was approved!
A home to move to!

Now we just have to
cough up the savings to move
and pay for that place.

If you want to help,
Donate on the sidebar or
do this or do this.

(To paypal donate
leave a comment on the form,
“Use money to move.”)

Thank you so much to
all who have already helped
and supported us.

True friends gather round
when a person is in need.
I am bowled over.

Bling Whore!

Apparently the answer is, “Yes, yes I am.”

Some time ago (October 17th) Dawn was being all generous and gave me this award:

And I have to say it’s not often I get recognized for anything having to do with BEING NICE.

(Most of the time it’s my ultra anger and quick temper, sarcastic comments and snide remarks, or snarky attitude and violent tendencies that tend to get noticed. In a not good way.)

So, that’s special, and stuff. And it means I have her properly fooled. Perhaps it’s time to get her drunk and really take advantage of her tender feelings towards me? Hm.

I, in turn, am giving the lovely award/button-thingy to:
Amanda, because she is often nice when I couldn’t be,
Karleigh, because she considers it a blessing to know my family! Wow.
Anna, because she always leaves me such sweet comments.

Put these on your myspace blogs or pages or something, or I’ll hunt you down and rip off yer faces.
Oh, that wasn’t very nice, was it? Hm. Well, I already got the award, so HAHA!

*******

In what I can only liken to a drug-dealer feeding a first-timer his first several hits of coke, Veronica keeps giving me BUTTONS!

(Don’t stop, don’t stop… right in that vein, oh yeah….)

This one claims that I’m a Blogging Star. I always knew I was hot stuff!

Check out its shiny-goodness:

Oh, yeah, and this was on Veronica’s post about it, so I’ll put it here as well… don’t want anyone giving me death threats later for not following rules of some sort… or something like that.
The Blogging Star was created by Barb of Skittles’ Place, who says:
This award is for bloggers who shine their light throughout the Blogosphere. Some do it with humor, others with creativity, and others with their kind and thoughtful natures. We all know more than a few of them so why not give them some recognition?
Here’s what to do if you receive this:
* Proudly display it on your blog along with a link to who gave it to you.
* Mention that it originated here at Skittles’ Place so I can follow its journey.
* Pass it on to any blogger(s) you think should have it.


And I’d like to pass this one on to one of my very best friends, Sarah Porter, who has been blogging her freaking heart out since before I ever even knew her.

She started off on her Myspace blog, and now has a lovely blogsite, imaginary binky.

Her posts are funny, intelligent, and always entertaining. Go read her, subscribe to her feeds, and love on her with many comments, please.

Also, apparently, I’m a “Treat!”

What? You didn’t know?

Well, I am. A Sweet, Yummy Treat. So there.

And here’s proof…

WorksForMom went and gave me some bling just for loving on her words.

Now, if I could just be covered in nuts… wait, let’s not finish that thought.

I’ve had so many great new commenters lately, and I freakin’ LOVE all of you, man.

But who’s been ‘treating’ me to LOTS of ego petting lately? The really special kind?

Well, Secret Agent Mama and Heidi Hyde are definitely getting this one.

SAM’s my self-appointed “Stalker McStalkerson” (you crack me up, woman) and HH claims to have a crush on me. Advertises it on her site! I couldn’t be happier.

She recently posted her 100th post! Learn all about her by reading it.

I officially love her all day and night for that.

For all of you out there who may also be really, really ridiculously good looking bloggers, please remember, “Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”

Words to live by.

*******

Who woulda thunk it?

*******

I received this shiny award from Rhonda for being damn funny. Yes, I know it doesn’t say, “damn” anywhere on it. I’m taking creative license.

Thanks, Rhonda! It’s nice to know that nowadays, people aren’t just laughing AT me because I’m a stupid dork, but they are actually sometimes laughing WITH me!

You know who else is damn funny? Bill Gathen has been making me laugh my freaking ass off lately. This guy is hilarious, and his writing is witty and intelligent. Go forth and read him. Subscribe to his words and love them. You will be glad you did.

She gets stuff. You know? I *heart* her, lots.

Can I give this back to you, Dawn? Heh.

I guess not, but the person I would like to give this to is someone else who’s been supporting me ever since I left the HOLE that is the Myspace Blog and come out into the real blog world:

***********

Thanks for all the bling, you amazing, loving folks!

Check out where I store all my bling… BUTTON MADNESS!

*************

And, after all that, You get my list of:

13 Blogs That I Read and You Should, Too:
(I didn’t include those that I have already linked in this post, but those are A GIVEN, PEOPLE)

1. Antique Mommy
2. Attack of the Redneck Mommy
3. Bub and Pie
4. Daring Young Mom
5. Dooce
6. Fabulous Mommy Fussypants
7. Frog and Toad are Still Friends
8. Joy Unexpected
9. Letter9
10. Oh, The Joys
11. Playgroups Are No Place For Children
12. Toddled Dredge
13. Velveteen Mind

Wanna see more Thursday Thirteen?

Veronica’s Courting Me

I swear it. She’s trying to butter me up for some lesbian love.

Only kidding!

But she did give me another button that makes me smile all big and toothy:

If you give me chocolates next, Veronica, I’m going to know something’s up.