Doorbell Insanity: He Haz It

Did you know that every single one of us parents is definitely spending too much money (I don’t care how little you spend, it’s too much) on toys? Cause, yeah.

Really. Why the hell do we buy toys again? All we really need is boxes, sunglasses, keys, hair clips, flashlights, spatulas, and the doorbell. (not an all inclusive list, but a working one)

And duct tape for the bad days. Don’t judge me.

Fisher Price? Pfffft.

What you get when I’m saving you from the really bad posts I’ve written.

At January 27, 2009
By Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
In Mental/Emotional, Miscarriage, Miscellaneous Blabbering, Poop/Farts
41

Yes. That's my ass. I will regret posting this photo, I'm sure. I’ve written a lot of posts lately.

But I haven’t published many. Why?

No, it’s not because I was too busy taking pictures of my fat ass.

It’s because they are all either weepy and sad or angry and bitter. And, contrary to what you may think, they are not all about the whole miscarriage thing.

Apparently I’m angry and bitter, and feeling ranty and shitty about lots of things.

And towards lots of people. Whoa, Nelly. That just ain’t kosher, eh? I’m trying to BE A GOOD PERSON.

See that Tagline up there in my header?

“because survival requires humor”

I really do believe that.

But my funny isn’t sustaining enough for me to write good humor posts lately. And that PISSES ME OFF.

And also? I’m tired of eating beans and staring at the $12,000 in medical bills we’ve accumulated these past few months.

Because farts are funny, and all, but this? This is not funny. This is depressing.

And depressing farts don’t really make very good humor posts.

So I’ll go back to writing my private, weepy, rantlike, depressing, shitty posts on my computer. And then not publishing them.

But I’ll whine to you about it. SINCE THAT IS OH SO FUNNY, RIGHT?

Just punch me in the face and get it over with.

*farrrrt*

(don’t laugh, that was a depressing one… couldn’t you tell by the tone? amateurs.)

Of Junk, and Boxes

I need a little break from my sorrow. You do, too.

Time for a favorite amusement of mine around this time of the year.
I think I might just post this Every.Single.Year.

Perfect gifting solution for today’s economy, right?

You’ve got less than a week now, fellahs. So buy that box and get out yer scissors.

Weird is another reason I love him.

My child is weird.

He likes to dump out all the toys in this collapsible container and put it on his head. Often, he sits on this zebra when he does it.

He does it with such frequency that I have stopped even putting the toys back into the container. (Choose your battles.)

I love that little weirdo!

What quirky little behaviors endear your little ones to you?

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It’s Funny Photo Friday! 9.19.08

Today, the first Funny Photo Friday that you can join in on (via a “Mr. Linky”) went live over at Photo Bliss!

Today’s post over there has a shot of quite an interesting bathroom!

Follow this link to see the Funny Photo Friday for 9.19.08, and to learn how you can join in for the laughs and the prizes!

My funny photo for today is from my archives….

My little wagon… it’s full of doggy butt.

I bet that hurt his butthole a little bit.

Why I hold off on killing him.

On Tuesday, I gave you ‘Braden a la I-Scream.’

It is always good to achieve balance in life, and so I give you a video of how he redeems himself.

Aren’t they cute together?

Because Monsters are assholes.

The anniversary yesterday was lovely, and I thank you all for your lovely words and wishes on the post.

The only crappy thing about the past couple of days is that I’m having a wicked arthritis flare-up, my upper back and neck are a mess of pain (don’t make me turn my head or I’ll hate you forever, plus or minus 3 days), and my left knee has a possible torn/degraded meniscus with edema (water buildup and swelling) that prevents me from bending it much at all. YAY!

My advice to you is:

DON’T GET OLD.

Really. Stop aging right now! Yes, you there! STOP IT! It’s NOT good.

While I’m on the mend, this little girl makes me happy. I have watched her video about eleventy-million times in the past couple of months, and I ALWAYS laugh.