Don’t act like it’s never happened to you.

Well, my friends, it looks
like Gastroenteritis
Fest ‘Oh-Eight is done.

I never knew that
my butthole could imitate
a waterfall. Wow.

And did you know that
after forty-eight hours of
nothing but fluids…

Dry toast tastes kind of
like the best gourmet meal that’s
ever been prepared?

And I wanted to
mention to all of you guys
that you should never

post about something
that you “hope doesn’t happen.”
TEMPT YE NOT THE FATES!

Read the last line of
my last post to discover
my last misfortune.

That’s right. You saw it.
I hit “publish,” and then I…
I… sharted. Again.

Yeah. Go Ahead. Laugh.
Really. Laugh. Poop is funny!
Especially sharts.

Seriously though.
Non-stop pooping and farting?
Not my bag, baby.