In case you think your friends don’t understand the difference between hot/warm/cold.

I’m sure that you, the reader of my website, are not a jerkhole of any sort, including the temperature/climate type.  Surely, someone with your impeccable taste is intelligent enough and nowhere near enough of an asshat to engage in the behavior I’m addressing with this post.  So please, just let this post serve as a place that you can direct the temperature/climate jerkholes you come into contact with towards, as necessary.

When someone says it’s cold where they are, that means >>news flash<< IT’S COLD WHERE THEY ARE. As in, the temperature is such that they have made the judgment that it’s frickin’ freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth. Or at least very cold. To them.  Which is all that matters about their comment.  This is obvious to people who don’t have their heads up their asses, I’m guessing, but what do I know?

If someone says it’s cold (or hot), I’m thinking, just accept it and move on.  Whatever the temperature is where you are / depth of cold (or intensity of heat) you can withstand / number of brain cells you wish you had horrific weather conditions you are experiencing/have ever experienced – COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.   Feel the need to make a snide remark that insults the person and/or comment that makes everything all about you again?  Please, please resist the stupidity you feel nagging you at that moment.

No, really. The next time you have the urge to say something like “that’s not cold – you don’t know what cold is” or “pfft, that’s nothing, you know how cold it is where I AM?“ to someone, punch yourself in the face one time (both because you deserve it and because you can do so without feeling any pain). Really! Rest assured that it won’t hurt, because somewhere, someone is getting punched in the face HARDER and even MORE THAN ONCE.

You think it would hurt to punch yourself in the face that once?  Pffft.  You don’t know what pain is.

But a memory, as I wait for the spark of Spring.

Today’s Photohunt Theme is “Warm”

What it has to be for the flames of this sunflower to lick at the summer sky.

It’s what I long for, especially in the dead of winter. I’m not a fan of being cold. In fact, I’d rather live a thousand summers than one winter. I despise the pain of being chilled to the bone.

Any temperature that raises itself above the definition of “cold” is my friend.  Warm is nice, but I’m even okay with hot.  Dry heat, humid heat, whatever. Take me to daytime Mercury for crying out loud. Oxygen is highly overrated. I just don’t want it to be COLD.

Jack Frost tried to woo me this winter with a love letter.

And it worked; oh, did I swoon. He sent a shiver down my spine, and I was head over heels.

But he is a typical player. It was but a one night stand. His icy kiss faded fast, leaving me with nothing but chattering teeth and chapped cheeks.

Now, as I wait for the spark of Spring to revive, I’m trying to recall the buzzing of the bees. Their song tells a much sweeter love story.

I’ll close my eyes for awhile and listen to that memory in my head and smell the sweet smell of summers gone by, like a dream. Wait for the flutter of a butterfly to tickle my face as it hurries by, on its way to the next yellow beauty.

And when I have to open my eyes and the cold, bleak, gray of Winter is still peering at me with its icy, slate eyes, I’ll just shrug deeper into my sweater and try to concentrate on other warm things until time turns the pages of the calender for me, again.

Reasons why today was good… ?

[written Friday night, amidst sweltering heat, I might add]

Today was good. We
went to the zoo and that was
quite a lot of fun.

Braden was cute all
day long, as is usual.
He brings me such joy.

Um, dinner was good.
Yeah, it was yummy. Sketti.
Yeah, dinner was good.

Oh, who the hell am
I kidding?! Being positive
is not my best trait!

I need to complain!
UPSTAIRS A/C EFFING DIED!
*pulling out my hair*

Why upstairs? Huh? Why?
UPSTAIRS! Where the heat rises!
Why not downstairs, HUH?

Eighty-Seven – not
an acceptable number
of degrees inside.

I stand firm on this.
So does Braden. His screams at
bedtime confirm it.

Who can sleep like this?
And how can I possibly
Plurk well in this heat!?

Oh well. Off now to
dip my BEWBS in ice water.
Can’t let them suffer.

{ Oh yeah, don’t forget
to go vote for BEWBS and PECS!
The Rack begs you to! }

Hot

Theme for November 24th, 2007: “Hot.”

Hot, as in the jalapeno peppers I had planted in my garden in Austin, TX back in 2005. Hot, as in this picture was taken in NOVEMBER and my garden was still producing bounty! Why? Because there is no fall (or spring) in TX. Only SUMMER, a week of winter, and then SUMMER again.

My lovely garden – how I miss thee! I had green beans, banana peppers, bell peppers, tomatoes, eggplants (3 varieties), zucchini, and cantaloupes (in addition to the jalapenos). Had just planted a lime tree, too. And it survived the “winter!” I was seriously going to never do without a lime in my Coronas again, my friends.

But times change. John decided he needed to leave his Cory Morrow gig (*sniff* I miss you, Cory!) in TX and went to play for Chris Cagle again, based out of TN. For the entire first trimester of my pregnancy with Braden, I saw him about 3 or 4 times. In fact, I had to call him on February 14, 2006 to tell him we were going to have a baby. Best Valentine I’ve ever delivered, shittiest method of delivery.

He was basically living in TN and I in TX from Jan – April 2006. It’s hard to be a nauseous Preggie without someone else to torture and make miserable! My poor employees… I can only imagine how I must have taken it out on them emotionally. Sorry, guys!

In May 2006 we moved to TN, into an apartment, while we tried desperately to sell our home in TX. It took FOREVER and a shortsale to get rid of it. Bleah. Living in an apartment after you’ve owned a house SUCKS, btw.

After living with the asshole loud stair walkers, idiots who smoke in a pregnant lady’s face at the pool, drug dealers in the parking lot, mega loud horse-laugher upstairs, package losing mf’ers in the office, and rampant brown recluse spiders in our unit for a whole year, we moved out of that apartment and into a (rental) house in May of 2007. (And yes, I know what they say about HOUSE RENTERS.)

We are just insanely happy lately. We love living in a house again. There’s a swing for Braden in a tree in the backyard. And come spring there will be a sandbox for him out there as well.

And a new vegetable garden for Momma.

Wanna see more Photo Hunt?

The Truth Is Out