I always wanted a kid with an egg growing out of his head.

Dear Braden,

You are endlessly in motion!

Mommy is SO TIRED.  Mommy is SO EMOTIONAL.

Remember how Mommy keeps telling you to stop throwing your various body parts on Mommy’s belly because there is a baby growing in there and we don’t want to hurt it?  That baby is growing so much that it’s taking all of Mommy’s energy away from her.  It’s SUCKING OUT HER FRIGGIN’ LIFE FORCE.

All your silly energy is awesome.  Mommy really loves and appreciates it.  Your songs and dances make Mommy smile so much.

But sometimes Mommy just can’t keep up with you right now… and that’s okay, except when things get a bit dangerous.

So, for the next couple of months, could you please stop:

• running
• climbing
• jumping
• running
• twirling
• leaping
• running A FREAKING LOT
• taking off your diaper and peeing on the kitchen floor, THEN running through the puddle, slipping, falling and bashing your head

Because Mommy is seriously going to have a heart attack if you don’t CHILL OUT.

Love,
Mommy