Farterworks

Even though we took these photos over a month ago (dude, who keeps letting time move by SO FAST?) I thought I’d share them with you, because they kind of crack me up.

This was a Saturday morning Mac Photo Booth play session with Braden (hence the fabulous photo quality, *snort*). He is both silly and fun as well as intensely moody, whiny, and dramatic.

I really have no idea whose child this is. *wink*

smiling pretty for the camera

after being scolded for slapping the keyboard

making fun of him for whining

giving in to the giggles after the tears

I adore hanging out with him and being silly. He is displaying such a fabulous sense of humor these days, which makes it even more fun.

And by sense of humor, I mean that he is cracking me up by replicating my incorrigible taste for fart jokes, with indelible favorites like:

*the sound of fireworks outside*
Him: “Ooooooh, Farter!”
Me: “No, silly, you know those are fireworks!”
Him: Pause. *giggle* “Oooooooh, FARTER-WORKS!” *raucous laughter*
Me: *SMPL*

Gotta love havin’ a little boy. Especially when you are secretly one, too.

I need more IRL peeps who get me, Stat!

I went to Walmart on Wednesday night to pick up some grocery items and decided to browse through the toy area to see if there were any inexpensive, small fun-toys that caught my eye for Braden’s Christmas Stocking.  You know, ahem, to tell Santa about.

I saw a toddler cleaning set in a box – toy mop, broom/dustpan, vacuum cleaner.  And I thought about how Braden always wants to play with my vacuum cleaner and broom when I’m using them.  A few steps away, there were similar items sold singly.  So I was standing there looking at a small single broom, just checking it out up close and thinking about if it was worth the purchase, when a mother browsing with her toddler walked by and said, “Why would you buy that when there’s a whole set right over here for only $20!?”

I ignored the first response that nagged to be vocalized, which would have been, “Why the hell are you worried about why I would buy anything vs. anything else, since I don’t know you, crazy Toy Bargain Lady?”

And then I skipped over the other immediate response my warped mind wanted to torture her with, “Those are cheap plastic and would surely not stand up to the many beatings I’m planning on doling out with this here baby.” (brandishing the superior toy broom with gleam in eye)

Instead, I laughed, walked over to the box, picked it up and told her, “See, the major flaw here is that the vacuum cleaner doesn’t actually work.  And I’m not interested in just training my kid – I want to put him to work.  He’s been free-loading for far too long now, know what I mean?”

I looked up with a wild smile on my face, giggling.  Totally expecting her to LAUGH.

And she looked back at me with the most concerned, “WTF?” look on her face, did that fake, “heh-heh-heh” laugh and said, “Ohhhkay.”

And this, my dear friends, is why I write here.

So that I can FIND PEOPLE WHO GET MY JOKES, DAMNIT.